Chapter 88
Su Bin had been indoctrinated from a young age with the mindset of “study hard, excel in exams, get a good job.” Even though his parents neglected him, the environment he was in daily reinforced this way of thinking. It made him feel that what he wanted didn’t matter as much as what he should do.
He was now in his senior year of college, just one more year to graduate and find a stable job, earn money, get married, have children, and raise the next generation. If Chen Xiaotian didn’t abandon him, if his father wasn’t so indifferent, this path would suit him well. In essence, deep down, he was timid. He couldn’t break free from the system and didn’t dare to deviate in any way. He was afraid that if he made even a slight mistake, the whole world would abandon him. So he treaded carefully, trying to maintain a balance.
But now, everything had been overturned. The beautiful world he had envisioned turned out to be an illusion, shattered by a series of events that forced him onto a dead-end path.
In his most vulnerable moment, Allen appeared before him and presented a proposition that seemed like a devil’s deal. It was tempting, yet dangerous. Su Bin accepted, not so much because he willingly surrendered himself, but because he allowed himself to be guided by his impulsive liking—like a drowning person clutching onto a piece of life-saving driftwood. He didn’t know where the driftwood would take him, perhaps shallow waters or rocky reefs, or even a cliff and waterfall. But no matter what, he wanted to breathe in this moment, to escape the agony of drowning.
Allen succeeded. After that oath last night, Su Bin was nervous, fearful, embarrassed… but ultimately happy. In Allen’s embrace, he felt safe. When he was intimate with Allen, he felt loved. Allen had promised to protect him, not to abandon him… so he would also strive to keep his promises.
“I’ll think about it…” Su Bin said, placing his hand in Allen’s under the table.
Seeing that Su Bin’s reaction wasn’t as intense as last time, Jin Fei understood that Su Bin was considering the proposition. He threw out a casual “If you’re interested, come to me for investment,” and didn’t press further.
The education in the Jin family was quite the opposite. Jin Fei had been taught from a young age how to deal with money and people. Going to college? Well, that was just for fun… the important thing was to know more people who could cooperate with you, like the real financial backer sitting beside Bingzi—the influential person with connections in B country.
As Su Bin reached out, Allen tightly held his hand. If Jin Fei wasn’t there, Allen would surely have praised Su Bin right there and then, giving him an encouraging kiss, telling him that he had done well this time.
Winter nights fell early. After dinner, Jin Fei suggested getting a massage: “I saw in the hotel service brochure in my room that there’s a health massage in a certain club.”
Su Bin looked at him skeptically, “Service…? Massage…?”
Jin Fei paused for a moment, frustrated, “What are you thinking! I mean a regular massage! My back has been aching… and when I left the hotel earlier, I saw an advertisement for that club. It seemed pretty good.”
Su Bin looked at Allen, his eyes sparkling, clearly indicating that he also wanted to go… a high-end massage club like this, he had never been to one before!
Allen hesitated and then nodded in agreement.
The two of them took a taxi to Jin Fei’s hotel. Su Bin stood at the entrance of the massage club, cautiously assessing it. It appeared to be quite legitimate, so he gathered his courage and entered.
Unlike before when “Su Bin” footed the bill, this time Jin Fei generously took care of it. “Go ahead, choose whatever service you want. Big brother’s treat.”
Su Bin glanced at the price list. “Damn, 588 yuan for a foot massage? Are they using the hands of ancient physicians like Hua Tuo and Bian Que?”
His gaze moved upward and was drawn to a service on the price list—Waist and Hip Revitalization: 688 yuan.
Su Bin instinctively touched his lower back. Honestly, since morning, that area had been sore and swollen, especially around his pelvis.
What had happened with Allen in that area… well, although he had unbelievably endured it and there was no bleeding, he still felt uncomfortable. He was embarrassed by the sensation of something massive entering that private area…
Su Bin: “I’ll go for the… waist and hip massage.” o////o
Allen gave Su Bin’s hand a reassuring squeeze as they entered the establishment, and he would have praised him openly if Jin Fei wasn’t there. Allen’s eyes were full of approval.
The masseuse assigned to Su Bin was a middle-aged woman who appeared gentle. After assessing her, Allen had no objections.
Su Bin removed his coat and lay on the massage bed. The middle-aged woman unbuttoned his shirt and rolled up his pants, revealing his lower back and hips. Su Bin was taken aback and looked at Allen’s elegant figure sitting across from him. Allen’s expression wasn’t too good, but he didn’t say anything.
The middle-aged woman blushed when she saw the red marks on Su Bin’s exposed skin, completely unaware of what had taken place. Su Bin, on the other hand, had no idea about the strawberry planting that had occurred in that area… or how Allen managed to do it. He didn’t even know about the things that happened after he had taken the sleeping pill, or how Allen inserted that thing into him…
The woman warmed her palms with massage oil and began to gently knead Su Bin’s waist. “Is the pressure okay? Is it too heavy?”
Su Bin felt a sense of embarrassment when a stranger touched his body. He awkwardly said, “Um, a little gentler… thank you.”
The woman smiled, thinking that this young man’s physique was as flexible as his personality. He seemed more pliable than others, and very polite as well. She focused on massaging him without much conversation.
Su Bin let out a comfortable sigh and slowly closed his eyes. Allen felt relieved and casually picked up an English magazine from the shelf, enjoying the shoulder and neck massage the masseuse was giving him.
After a short nap, Su Bin looked up and sneakily glanced at Allen. He saw a male masseur kneeling down, massaging Allen’s calves. Allen had already closed his eyes, looking naturally like he deserved to be pampered.
This scene reminded Su Bin of the scene last night when he had sworn beside Allen. For some reason, he suddenly felt a bit irritated by the masseur. He wanted to chase him away… but he also wondered, if he were the one massaging Allen’s legs, would Allen’s expression be different?
… Damn, when did I become so fawning!
Su Bin turned his head, closed his eyes, and stopped looking at them.
After the massage, Su Bin felt much better. He and Allen woke up Jin Fei, who had already fallen asleep, his mouth slightly open as he snored.
Seeing that it was getting late, they woke up Jin Fei and agreed to meet again the next day. Then, they went back to their respective hotels.
“Mu, come here,” Allen said as soon as they returned to the hotel, motioning for Su Bin to follow him to the bedroom.
Just like the previous night, they sat side by side on the sofa, with Su Bin lying down next to Allen.
“Let’s sum up today’s events,” Allen’s expression turned somewhat serious.
Su Bin knew that Allen was about to bring up the topic of “leaving school.” He was worried, and he still tried to argue, “I want to go to school…”
—If Allen insisted on him leaving school, he wouldn’t play along. He would run away…
Perhaps Su Bin’s eyes carried a strong sense of resistance, which made Allen slightly displeased. However, considering that Su Bin had acted correctly today, Allen decided to gently guide him.
Allen asked, “Why do you think I won’t let you study?”
Su Bin was taken aback, “Huh?”
Allen continued, “Did you forget the content of my oath last night?”
Su Bin was a bit puzzled. The parts he remembered the most were Allen’s promises to protect and not abandon him…
Allen lightly tapped Su Bin’s forehead, “I said I’ll do my best to make you happy.”
Su Bin: “…”
Allen went on, “So, I’ll be attentive to your emotions all the time. I also don’t want you to hide anything from me.”
Constantly paying attention to his emotions… Su Bin admitted that he was moved by this idea. But then he said, “But you said for me to leave school…” He sounded aggrieved.
Allen gave a helpless smile and explained, “Education is everyone’s right. Knowledge can make people more open-minded and tolerant. It’s great that you want to study. If you’re willing, I’ll provide you with a supportive environment, so you can keep studying as long as you want. Master’s degree, doctorate, post-doc—whatever you want to learn and for however long.”
So he had misunderstood Allen! Su Bin felt guilty and said, “I’m sorry, I thought you didn’t want me to study.”
Su Bin, who had worked before, now had a strong passion for learning. Allen’s words deeply moved him. He was even a bit excited… Could he pursue a doctorate?
Allen continued, “I want you to leave school here in China and then come back to B country. I’ll be doing research at M University for a while. So, I’ll arrange for you to enroll in the undergraduate program at M University. You’ll have to stay by my side.”
Su Bin looked up at Allen, struggling, “So, does that mean I’ll have to live in B country from now on?”
Allen asked back, “What is there here that makes you reluctant to leave?”
Su Bin fell silent. Indeed, there wasn’t much left for him here. However, he still said, “After all, I grew up here…”
After thinking for a moment, Allen said, “Tell me about your childhood.”
Su Bin paused and slowly began to talk…
This city held many memories for him. While some of the experiences had turned sour, like his time at the provincial university, there were still things he found hard to let go of. For example, the old village of Fayun where he had lived as a child, his late grandfather and his loyal dog Wang Zai, the hills behind Lingyin Temple where he used to play wildly, his elementary school classmates he had lost contact with but left good impressions on him, and even friends like Shen Junfeng who still treated him like a good buddy…
As he spoke, Su Bin found himself resting his head on Allen’s thigh without realizing it. Allen gently stroked his head and played with his hair, making Su Bin feel very comfortable.
Every now and then, Allen would ask questions, guiding Su Bin’s narrative. Su Bin found himself talking about the little girl in the wheelchair…
Allen seemed particularly interested in that part and asked several questions, “The little girl? What did she look like?”
Su Bin replied, “Black hair, pointed chin, fair skin…”
Allen inquired further, “Oh? Did she have long hair?”
Su Bin thought for a moment, “No, her hair was short, very soft-looking.”
Allen continued, “How did you know she was a girl?”
Su Bin explained, “Because she was beautiful, like a doll. I had never seen anyone so beautiful. How could a boy be that beautiful?”
Allen: “…”
Su Bin continued, “And she looked very fragile, so small.”
Allen raised an eyebrow, “Did you talk to her?”
Su Bin replied, “No… she scared me when she opened her eyes later. Her eyes were green, even greener than yours!”
Allen asked, “Did you run away?”
Su Bin nodded, “Yeah, I thought she was a monster.”
Allen: “…”
—That word again, “monster.” Why did this little fool always associate me with either vampires or monsters?
Su Bin looked up at Allen. It seemed like Allen’s touch had gotten a bit heavier just now…
Allen withdrew his hand and looked at him, saying, “Mu, I have some unpleasant memories in China.”
Su Bin had already guessed this. When he first mentioned “going back to China” to Allen, Allen was clearly unhappy…
Allen said, “My maternal grandfather was Chinese. I have a quarter Chinese heritage.”
Maternal grandfather? Grandfather? No wonder Allen looked more Western. So, Allen’s mother was a mix of a foreigner and a Chinese person?
Allen continued, “My grandfather’s surname is Li, and his Buddhist name was Yanshi… he was a monk.”
Su Bin: “…” Did he become a monk before or after getting married?
Allen went on, “My mother gave me the middle name ‘Lance,’ which is the transliteration of Li Yanshi… My mother followed him to China, but she passed away here.”
Su Bin exclaimed, and it all made sense now. No wonder Allen called this place a sad place—his mother had passed away in China…
There was a trace of sadness in Allen’s gaze as he said, “After bringing my mother back to B country, I swore never to come back to this country.”
Su Bin: “…”
Allen looked at Su Bin, “But you made me break that vow.”
Su Bin’s eyes welled up with tears of gratitude, “Allen…”
Allen said, “Call me Lance.”
“…Lance…” This name instantly reminded Su Bin of last night’s embarrassing scene—Allen had him call him that while touching him, making him repeat that he belonged to Allen.
Su Bin shyly buried his face against Allen’s leg, so that Allen couldn’t see his expression.
Allen chuckled softly and said gently, “Mu, when I made that vow not to return to China, it was to cover up the pain. I didn’t want the scenery here to remind me of my mother’s passing… I thought you were the same as me, wanting to sever the ties of the past to escape the pain… Besides, my physical condition wouldn’t allow me to stay in China for long. You understand, the medical and environmental conditions here…”
“Lance,” Su Bin interrupted him, “Let’s go back to B country.”
Allen touched his head and smiled, “Have you come to terms with it?”
Su Bin rubbed against him. He had been convinced and moved… Allen had returned to China for him.
Allen laughed, “Don’t worry, once your wound heals, your emotions stabilize, and you’re not as uncomfortable, I’ll bring you back here to visit, to see your grandfather and my grandfather.”
Su Bin said, “I’ll follow your lead…”
Allen was happy and pulled him up, saying, “Come, sit on my lap.”
“…” Sitting on his lap… o////o
Su Bin buried his head on Allen’s shoulder. Allen kissed the side of his face and asked, “About the restaurant, what do you think?”
Wait, Allen was actually asking for his opinion? “I don’t know,” Su Bin honestly admitted.
Allen said, “I want to know your thoughts, not your decisions.”
Su Bin hesitated for a moment, then understood. He spoke in fragments, “I don’t want to ask my dad for money anymore,” the incident from last night had deeply hurt Su Bin, “but I don’t have a job, and you won’t let me work illegally…”
Allen nodded, “Yes, I won’t allow you to do illegal work.”
Su Bin continued, “But I do want to be independent.”
Allen hugged his head and pulled him back slightly to meet his gaze. “You belong to me, and you can never be financially independent in your lifetime.”
“But it’s still a bit hard for me to accept… It feels like I’m becoming dependent on you. I feel like you’re… providing for me!” Su Bin finally voiced his doubts, and his face was crumpled up.
“Mu, you still don’t understand our relationship…” Allen held him around the waist, speaking earnestly, “Listen, when I say ‘you belong to me,’ it means that our souls are one. To me, ‘we’ are ‘me (Allen).’ You’re a part of me. And to you, ‘we’ are ‘you (Allen).’ I am the decision-maker and the financial controller among us… You need to change your independent thinking and stop thinking about being self-sufficient. Have you ever seen someone split into two and yell about being independent? That would be a split personality.”
Allen’s explanation was a bit profound, and Su Bin felt a bit dizzy trying to understand it all. He grasped the part in the middle and at the end, but the “you you me me” in the beginning was confusing. In simple terms, Su Bin understood that between the two of them, only one person could handle money and make decisions.
Allen sighed, “Think about my words carefully. If you don’t understand it right away, I won’t force it. But if you have questions or thoughts, bring them up to me. It’s good that you’re doing that. I’ll answer you anytime… No more wild imaginings.”
Su Bin struggled for a while and asked, “Can I earn money on my own?”
Allen replied, “You can, but the money you earn doesn’t belong to you; it belongs to me.”
Su Bin: “…”
Allen added, “Even if you don’t earn money, I’ll provide everything you need for your life, studies, and entertainment unconditionally.”
Su Bin was almost torn apart by this dilemma. Even though it sounded like it didn’t matter if he earned money or not, he didn’t want to be a freeloader—he was a man, how could he let someone else support him?
“I still want to earn money…” Su Bin finally voiced his thoughts, “Even if all that money goes to you.”
Considering he was in Allen’s territory and he currently owed Allen a significant amount of money (hotel accommodation, dinner with Jin Fei, coffee expenses, and probably the upcoming plane ticket and tuition fees), he didn’t want to be dependent on him! QAQ
“Up to you.” Allen smiled and touched Su Bin’s ear. “If you want to approach Jin Fei for investment, you can. He seems eager to earn your money.”
Su Bin said, “Wait, isn’t Jin Fei trying to help me?”
Allen explained, “Investors invest to make money, of course. He sees potential in you, that’s why he’s considering investing.”
Su Bin: “…” As someone who studied finance, Su Bin understood that investors aimed to make a profit. But he never thought Jin Fei saw potential in him!
Allen continued, “Don’t think too much about it. Even if you want to open a restaurant, I’ll talk to Jin Fei on your behalf. I’ll tell you what you need to do afterward.”
Su Bin was taken aback. Allen’s simple sentence seemed to have already settled his desire to start a business… Just as he was lost in thought, Su Bin suddenly felt Allen’s hand slipping under his clothes, gently caressing him.
Su Bin tensed up, nervously looking at Allen… Were they going to do that again today? o////o
“Are you feeling better after the massage?” Allen asked.
“Much better…” Su Bin scratched his head.
“Rest for two days. We won’t do anything today.”
As Allen said this, he stood up while holding Su Bin. Su Bin lifted his feet to grip Allen’s body, so he wouldn’t slip. This position made him feel so embarrassed…!
However, Allen was quite satisfied with Su Bin’s reaction. He smiled and whispered in his ear, “Let’s take a shower together.”
Su Bin: “…” Not a question, but a confirmation… orz…
When they came out of the bathroom, Su Bin could barely stand. He didn’t know if it was from standing under the hot water for too long or because of his shyness, but his whole body turned pink. After returning to the bedroom, he quickly crawled into bed, curling up into a ball.
Allen followed, wearing only a towel. He saw the lump under the blanket and couldn’t help but suppress a laugh. He dug Su Bin out from the covers and spread his limbs forcefully.
“Can you sleep?” Allen asked.
Su Bin hesitated for a moment, realizing Allen was worried he might have trouble sleeping. “I’ll try…”
They hugged each other like that. Allen kept caressing Su Bin’s neck, helping him focus on something other than his worries.
Similar to when Allen held his hand in the car earlier, Su Bin couldn’t think of anything else. Even though they had become intimate, he still felt a sense of shame. He thought, “Allen’s hands are magical.” Slowly, he relaxed his mind and naturally drifted into sleep…
