“What did you say?”
Cheng Qiang almost slammed on the brakes. “Who did Xiao Pei kiss?”
“It was an accident. Oh my god, Xiao Pei isn’t gay.” Without bothering to explain further to his own agent, Ling Yi, who had just received the latest scoop, immediately forwarded the private chat between Pei Tingsong and Xiao Pei to a group of five people, excluding Pei Tingsong. The group name was [Uphold Justice and Oppose Bullying (5)].
[Dash Account: Forwarded Message]
[Dash Account: Guys, I’ve brought the source of joy!]
[Your Fire Brother is Still Your Fire Brother: Are you talking about yourself? ·jpg]
[Dash Account: And he definitely kissed a guy. I’ll bet my future height on it! This panicked tone definitely means he accidentally kissed a guy!]
[Flower Hand National First-Class Performer: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
［Your Fire Brother is still your Fire Brother: No way. I’ve talked to him, and he thinks dating is pointless and a waste of time. You don’t understand the thoughts of a teenager going through puberty…］
［Dash Account: Holy crap, could this be Little Tyrant’s first kiss?］
[Flower Hand National First-Class Performer: Wait, let me get this straight. Xiao Pei has been busy with his schedule these past few days. Wasn’t he still recording Escape from Heaven yesterday? When did he have time to meet friends? And he even kissed someone… ]
[Essential Home Team Leader: Xiao Wen told me that Xiao Pei slept at Jue Xia’s apartment last night. ]
[Dash Account: Damn it]
[Flower Hand National First-Class Performer: ???]
[You’re Still You: Wow]
[Dash Account: I should have sent it to the group chat… It’s too late to take it back now.]
After not receiving a reply from Ling Yi for half a day, Pei Tingsong felt a little strange, so he sent him another message while Fang Juexia was out cooking porridge.
[Card Club Big Boss: Why aren’t you saying anything? I’m anxious to tell my friend.]
He clicked on it and actually received a reply.
[Dash Account: We can be friends. Friends should be close and affectionate. It’s okay to be affectionate a few more times. Don’t worry.]
Really?
Pei Tingsong looked at his phone with the expression of an old man on the subway. Then Fang Juexia came in with the porridge. “Why aren’t you resting yet? Today is your only chance to rest. Tomorrow there’s a new endorsement press conference.”
He locked his phone screen, pretended nothing had happened, and tried to divert his attention. “Um, your phone has been vibrating nonstop.”
Fang Juexia hummed in response, sitting down by the bed, seemingly uninterested in checking her phone. A vertical strip of sunlight filtered through the curtains, illuminating Fang Juexia’s face. His dark brown hair shimmered with a golden glow, and his fair skin appeared even more translucent. The capillaries around his bare eyes were faintly visible, thin and shallow, curling around a red birthmark.
Pei Tingsong thought of that white bellflower, which was also like this, with sunlight peeling away the skin, revealing the vibrant veins from the snow-white wound.
“Eat this while it’s hot.” Fang Juexia handed the bowl to Pei Tingsong and looked up at him.
Pei Tingsong hurriedly averted his gaze, almost reaching out to take it, but suddenly realized something was wrong. He thought of the idol dramas Ling Yi watched on the car during their trips. In those shows, when the male lead was sick, the female lead would feed him porridge spoon by spoon, without him having to lift a finger.
Seeing him hesitate, Fang Juexia furrowed his brows slightly, puzzled. “Don’t you want to eat?”
Pei Tingsong steeled himself, coughing incessantly, and put on an act beyond the typical idol’s acting skills to feign weakness, “I can’t lift my hand…”
Pei Tingsong watched as he put down the bowl, feeling that everything had deviated from his plan, but he couldn’t say anything.
He couldn’t just tell Fang Juexia, “Feed me.”
“According to reason, the fever should go down after taking the medicine… but there’s no thermometer.” Fang Juexia furrowed his brow and thought for a moment, “Why don’t we go to the hospital? Get up and put on some more clothes. We’ll go to the hospital.”
“Huh?”
“No, no, I don’t need to go to the hospital.” Pei Tingsong knew he wasn’t that serious, “I’m an adult. It’s just a cold. There’s no need to go to the hospital.”
“It could be serious. Your forehead is covered in cold sweat.” “ Fang Juexia tried to pull him up, but Pei Tingsong refused, ”I’ll just eat something and take a nap. I really don’t need to go to the hospital.”
Hearing him say that, Fang Juexia had no other choice. He felt a little guilty. If he had dressed him properly yesterday instead of just wrapping him in a towel, Pei Tingsong wouldn’t have gotten sick.
“Then at least eat this. It doesn’t taste like much, but there’s nothing else in your house besides rice.” Fang Juexia stirred the porridge, scooped up a spoonful, and held it to his lips. He instinctively took it, “Next time…”
Halfway through, Fang Juexia suddenly stopped, no longer continuing, even the hand that had brought the spoon to his lips halting.
Next time? What next time? Was he really going to cook for Pei Tingsong?
Pei Tingsong saw him stop speaking and deliberately reminded him, “Next time? Will you cook something delicious for me next time? Last time, Auntie even had you make fried rice for me.” The porridge was already at his lips, but as soon as Pei Tingsong finished speaking, he leaned in. Little did he know that the phone, which Fang Juexia had set aside, began ringing incessantly.
“Who’s calling me…” Fang Juexia muttered to himself as he set down the bowl and walked around to the other side of the bed to pick up the phone.
Just a millimeter away from eating the porridge, Pei Tingsong was so angry that he picked up the bowl and took two big bites.
Thinking about how Pei Tingsong, who had been a fearless troublemaker for twenty years, was playing this game of push and pull with a bowl of porridge for so long, it was truly hilarious.
“Awake?” Fang Juexia stood by the bed and answered the call, his expression changing slightly as his voice grew quieter. “…As long as Grandfather is awake, I’ll… I won’t go, just in case he sees me again…”
Pei Tingsong looked at him, sensing that he had something on his mind.
“Hmm.” Fang Juexia lowered his head. “I’m pretty busy right now. I can’t make it. Mom, take good care of him. Tomorrow? I have work tomorrow too…”
He remained silent for a moment before finally hanging up the phone. Sitting on the bed with his back to Pei Tingsong, he recalled the messages that had been vibrating on his phone earlier and looked down to check. There were indeed many WeChat messages on the lock screen, but when he clicked on them, they were gone, leaving only an announcement about a group being dissolved.
“Why did it suddenly dissolve…”
Pei Tingsong coughed into his fist and asked in a hoarse voice, “What dissolved?”
“A group chat.” Since Pei Tingsong wasn’t in the group, Fang Juexia didn’t want to say more, lest he find out they had created a group chat behind his back and get even angrier. “Nothing important.”
“There is, right?” Pei Tingsong asked tentatively, “Was that your aunt calling you just now?”
Fang Juexia nodded but didn’t say more.
Pei Tingsong remembered that the last time Fang Juexia’s mother came to Beijing was because of his grandfather’s illness. From the phone call just now, it seemed to be about the same matter, so he had a rough idea of what was going on, but he didn’t know the specifics. But Fang Juexia’s expression just now seemed quite sad.
Having grown up in an environment where he was never taught to express his thoughts indirectly, Pei Tingsong was used to being straightforward and doing as he pleased. But he also knew that Fang Juexia was someone who didn’t like others interfering in his personal affairs. He didn’t even bother to explain when he was accused of breaking the rules.
Fang Juexia glanced at the stirred porridge. “Want to eat some more? Eating will help you recover faster.”
But Pei Tingsong collapsed beside him, his voice weak and trembling. “I feel so bad, Fang Juexia… Every time I swallow, it hurts. My whole body aches.”
“How bad is it?” Fang Juexia frowned, reaching out to touch his face and then his neck, which was indeed quite hot. “What should we do?”
Seeing Pei Tingsong’s sickly appearance, Fang Juexia dared not speak harshly. “I told you to go to the hospital earlier, but you refused. Now you feel even worse, don’t you?” He sighed, stood up, and opened the wardrobe. “Do you have any high-neck sweaters? Lend me one.”
“Huh? I think so… Look for one.”
He couldn’t think too much about it, because thinking about it would remind him of his beastly behavior of biting Fang Juexia’s Adam’s apple.
Fang Juexia turned his back to him and rummaged through the wardrobe, finding a dark green high-neck sweater and taking it down. He only had one thing on his mind: covering the wound. He didn’t bother with anything else and quickly took off his pajamas.
Just then, Pei Tingsong, who was lying on the bed pretending to be dead, glanced up. He had only intended to see which sweater Fang Juexia had chosen, but instead, a snow-white body caught his eye. As Fang Juexia put on the sweater, the muscles of his back pulled the lines of his lower back, like a flowing piece of porcelain.
The mirror in the wardrobe reflected Fang Juexia’s slender waist. His abdominal muscles were not defined in blocks but smooth and flat, supple and pale.
He quickly averted his gaze.
How could a man have such a slim waist?
“I’ll wear this one.” Fang Juexia turned around, tugging at the slightly oversized hem, and looked into his eyes, “Is that okay?”
Pei Tingsong raised his eyes and nodded.
Fang Juexia didn’t expect to hear anything nice from him, so he picked up his pajamas and prepared to change into his pants, wanting to take him to the doctor sooner. “After I go back…”
“I’ll give it to you.”
He paused, hearing Pei Tingsong say behind him, “You look good in it.”
Fang Juexia turned to look at him, but Pei Tingsong had turned his back to him and added, “I bought it myself.”
He was always so strange. Fang Juexia told himself to get used to it. Pei Tingsong was just different from other boys, so he didn’t immediately refuse him or say something like, “I don’t need it, I’ll give it back to you.”
“You should change your clothes too. If you really don’t feel like it, just put on a thick hoodie and wrap yourself in a thick coat.”
“No.” Pei Tingsong sat up, his pale face showing a stubborn expression that refused to give in. “A cool guy can’t just wear anything out in public.”
Fang Juexia finally couldn’t help but laugh, “Alright, cool guy.”
After a quick cleanup, Fang Juexia ignored Pei Tingsong’s strong objections and wrapped him in a huge down jacket. He was already tall, and now he was wearing a large down jacket.
“I look like a wall.”
True to his literary background, Fang Juexia marveled inwardly at the masterful use of metaphor.
“It’s windy outside; better to wear more.” Fang Juexia helped him into the car, then moved to the driver’s seat. “Buckle up.”
He took out his phone to navigate, muttering to himself, “Let me see where the nearest hospital is…”
“Wait a minute.” Pei Tingsong took his phone and pulled down his mask. “The nearby hospitals aren’t good, and they’re crowded. I don’t want to be photographed. Drive out first, drive out.”
Fang Juexia looked at him, thinking that the patient comes first, so he followed his instructions and drove out of the neighborhood onto the road.
“Where do you want to go?”
Pei Tingsong hummed in response, his eyes darting back and forth. He had curled up inside his King Size down jacket, and after clearing his throat, he spoke in a barely audible voice, “I want to go to the hospital where your grandfather is being treated…”
Fang Juexia suddenly slammed on the brakes, pulled over to the side of the road, and looked at him without saying a word.
Pei Tingsong quickly emerged from his coat, frantically explaining, “No, I mean, you know, your grandfather came all the way to Beijing for treatment, so the hospital he chose must be really good, right? I…”
“So that’s why you suddenly wanted to see a doctor.” Fang Juexia took a deep breath, the sunlight outside the car window making him squint. “You’re not really that sick.”
“I am sick!” Pei Tingsong grabbed one of Fang Juexia’s hands and placed it on his head. “Feel it, it’s still hot. I really am sick.” He spoke too quickly, choking suddenly and coughing violently, as if his lungs were about to come out, but he didn’t let go.
Fang Juexia was cold on the outside but soft on the inside. Seeing Pei Tingsong coughing like this, he knew he wouldn’t be able to work tomorrow. He pulled his hand away, unscrewed the thermos he had brought for him, and handed it to him, then started the car again. “There won’t be a next time.”
Taking the thermos, Pei Tingsong, whose face was red from coughing, took a sip of water, calmed down, and thought to himself that this coughing fit had come at just the right time.
The hospital where Fang Juexia’s grandfather was hospitalized wasn’t too far from here, just a twenty-minute drive. Pei Tingsong was indeed feeling quite unwell, though not as dramatically as he was acting, and he was still running a fever. As soon as the car started moving, he leaned his head to the side and fell asleep.
Even in such a short time, he had a dream.
In the dream, he returned to his childhood, pushing his grandfather’s wheelchair in the small garden to soak up the sun. The two of them quietly read books together, and the ivy had turned green again for another spring, almost climbing up to the back window of his room.
Then he suddenly heard someone calling him. The sunlight in the dream felt like large, soft knives, slicing the scenery in his field of vision into fragmented shapes. He couldn’t see the person clearly, but the voice felt familiar—clear and cold, yet tinged with a hint of soft warmth.
He woke up. Opening his eyes, he saw the owner of the voice from the dream.
“Put on your mask.” Fang Juexia helped him put on his coat, zipping it all the way up and securing the hood. A cool hand reached out to his cheek, the back of it touching his skin to check his temperature.
“You’re here so quickly.” Pei Tingsong’s voice was even hoarser now. He had just woken up and felt a bit dizzy. He refused to let Fang Juexia help him, as if afraid others would laugh at him. “I can walk on my own.”
Fang Juexia looked at him, as if he were looking at a crumbling wall. He couldn’t help but laugh.
Pei Tingsong looked around and leaned closer to Fang Juexia. “Is this the hospital where your grandfather is?”
Fang Juexia nodded. “Let’s go register.”
“Wait a minute.” Pei Tingsong grabbed his arm. “You go see your grandfather. I can register myself.”
Fang Juexia stared at him without saying a word. Pei Tingsong said again, “Really, I can see the doctor by myself. Go ahead. Should we go to the inpatient ward?”
“Let’s go register.”
“Why won’t you listen to me? I’m speaking Chinese, aren’t I?” Pei Tingsong grabbed him. “We’re already here. You’re not really going to leave, are you?”
People were coming and going around them, and Fang Juexia didn’t want to attract attention here, so he could only drag him to a less crowded place and look into Pei Tingsong’s eyes and say, “He doesn’t want to see me. Do you understand what I mean?” The early spring breeze blew away Fang Juexia’s bangs, revealing the red birthmark at the corner of his eye.
Pei Tingsong hadn’t expected this, but Fang Juexia’s eyes were clearly soft, like water.
He helped Fang Juexia press down the brim of his hat, covering the most recognizable mark.
“I don’t know if he wants to see you, but I know you want to see him.”
Fang Juexia just stared at him, the ripples in his eyes trembling, then suddenly turned his head away. The magnolias in the hospital were in bloom, cold and white like snowdrifts, but when the spring breeze blew, they softened and swayed, stirring the heart.
In the end, he was dragged to the inpatient ward by Pei Tingsong. Referring to the room number his mother had sent him earlier on his phone, the two finally found the location. He had already sent a lot of money to his mother and arranged through a university classmate to have his grandfather admitted to this private hospital, hoping to get him a VIP room, but it seemed that hadn’t worked out. This was just a ordinary single room with a bright window, and outside the window were swaying magnolias.
An elderly man lay on the bed, his head tilted as if asleep. Fang Juexia’s mother gently removed his reading glasses from his nose and took away his newspaper.
After all that fuss, Pei Tingsong was drenched in cold sweat. Peering through the window on the ward door to check the situation inside, he glanced sideways at Fang Juexia’s expression. Seeing that he seemed ready to back out at the last minute, he immediately pushed open the ward door. Gripping his shoulders with both hands, he pushed him forward.
Fang Juexia’s mother looked up, startled. She saw her son suddenly appear at the door, then noticed the young Pei, whom she hadn’t seen in a long time, tilting his head and smiling at her, mouthing the word “Auntie.”
A surprise within a surprise.
With no other choice, Fang Juexia steeled himself and walked inside, smiling at his mother before standing by the bedside and looking at his sleeping grandfather.
His complexion looked fairly good, with a thin tube inserted into his nostrils, his chest rising and falling, and the faint sound of snoring.
Fang Juexia looked at his mother and whispered, “Was the surgery successful?”
Her mother nodded. “It went well. He just mentioned wanting an apple, but I didn’t have time to peel it yet. He fell asleep while reading the newspaper.”
Pei Tingsong pressed Fang Juexia to sit down and went to sit next to Fang’s mother. Fang’s mother looked at him, “Why are you wearing so many clothes? Your forehead is covered in sweat. Are you sick?”
Pei Tingsong nodded, “I have a cold.” After saying that, he put on a mask, revealing only a pair of smiling eyes.
The shadow of the magnolia tree outside the window was reflected on his grandfather’s hospital bed, casting a flickering light. Fang Juexia sat there quietly, staring at his grandfather without saying a word. This scene was better than he had expected. He was able to visit his grandfather quietly, and his grandfather didn’t get angry and chase him away.
It had been over a year since they last met. The person sleeping before him seemed to have aged significantly, his hair now gray, even his eyebrows tinged with white. Fang Juexia had never imagined how this person would age. In his memory, this man had always stood tall and straight, serious and diligent, as if he were always standing at the lectern.
He picked up the apple and fruit knife lying by the bed and began to peel the apple. The sharp blade sank into the flesh, slowly twisting inward, and the red peel fell off in circles, like the slide he used to ride as a child.
There was a children’s playground in his grandfather’s neighborhood, with a red slide. He only returned during summer and winter breaks, but his grandfather never let him ride it or lean out the window to watch, saying that if he broke his legs, the family would be in an uproar again.
If he obediently finished a set of math problems, his grandfather would take him out with a stern expression and accompany him on the slide for half an hour. He wouldn’t crouch below to catch him like other parents did; he would stand below with his hands behind his back, watching him climb up again and again, then slide down happily.
Half an hour, not a minute more or less. When the time was up, he would leave.
Little Fang Juexia slid down the slide, then stumbled forward, chasing after his grandfather’s back, until he could reach out and touch his grandfather’s fingertips. Then he slowed down, panting, and walked home with him.
An apple peel fell to one knee. Fang Juexia picked it up, placed it on the table with the intact fruit flesh, got up to pour him a glass of water, and walked over to Pei Tingsong, interrupting his lip-reading conversation with his mother.
“Let’s go.”
“So soon?” Pei Tingsong glanced at Fang’s mother, who seemed satisfied, her face adorned with a smile. “Go ahead.” Fang’s mother looked up at Fang Juexia and said, “Be a good boy. Take Little Pei to get an IV.”
Fang Juexia nodded without saying much and pulled Pei Tingsong out of the ward. He remained silent the whole way, registered him, took him to see the doctor, and then took him for an IV drip. The private hospital had a good environment, and there were far fewer people on weekdays than expected. They found an empty injection room and sat inside to receive the IV drip.
After a morning of hassle, Pei Tingsong was still in good spirits before the mission was accomplished, but as soon as they left the inpatient ward, his symptoms worsened. He felt dizzy and saw double. When the nurse inserted the needle, he glanced at it and felt like there were ten needles instead of one.
“You’ll feel better after the IV.” Fang Juexia sat beside him and patted his back when he coughed.
Pei Tingsong leaned back in his chair, looked at the clear liquid in the IV bottle, then turned to look at him, “I want to eat an apple too.”
Fang Juexia blinked, “Then why didn’t you say so earlier?”
They locked eyes for ten seconds before Pei Tingsong burst into laughter, “I was kidding. I don’t want one.” He used his free hand to touch his throat, “My throat hurts.”
This gesture reminded Fang Juexia of his own throat, so he tugged at the collar of his sweater, looked down at the tips of his sneakers, then glanced at Pei Tingsong’s long, helpless legs, pulled his gaze back, then extended it again.
“You…” Pei Tingsong finally spoke, his tone unusually uncertain, “Do you think I’m meddling?” To be honest, seeing the police officer lying safely in the hospital bed, the heavy weight that had been pressing on his heart for so long finally seemed to lift.
Pei Tingsong was peculiar, not understanding the social etiquette of urban dwellers who don’t pry, don’t inquire, and don’t care. No matter what, he had to do what he wanted to do, which was completely opposite to Fang Juexia.
But in a way, Fang Juexia felt a bit grateful. Grateful that he had gone out of his way to create an opportunity, dragging him along to meet the person he wanted to see.
He didn’t answer Pei Tingsong’s question just now, but instead looked at the white wall in front of him and spoke.
“My grandfather was a very conservative man. My grandmother passed away before I was born, and my mother was his only child.”
Pei Tingsong was a bit surprised; he hadn’t expected Fang Juexia to talk about his family with him.
“My mother never left him until she went to college. Later, she went to Guangzhou to study and met my…” Fang Juexia hesitated, “father. My grandfather didn’t allow them to be together. He thought that someone like my father, a dancer, was unreliable, and he didn’t want my mother to leave him and go so far south. They had a big argument, and my mother secretly boarded a train to leave Shandong and married my father.”
Pei Tingsong listened quietly. Given his upbringing, he found it difficult to understand this kind of generational conflict typical of China, but to him, eloping seemed like a very romantic thing.
But romance often comes at a price.
“My mother only returned after I was born. At first, he refused to see us. My mother said she stood at the front door, calling him repeatedly, but he didn’t answer any of her calls or open the door. Later, when I grew a little older, he seemed to have softened a bit. When she returned, he was willing to see us. He even prepared a small room for me and occasionally tutored me in my studies. “ Fang Juexia lowered her head, speaking slowly and softly, ”My grandfather was a math teacher who taught all his life. He said I was smarter than my mother, had a knack for numbers, and was a promising student.”
“What happened next?” Pei Tingsong asked.
Fang Juexia took a deep breath. “Later, it was just me and my mother. My grandfather asked us to come back to live with him. But…”
Pei Tingsong looked at his profile.
“But I also loved dancing. I wanted to dance, so I stayed in Guangzhou to study dance.”
“He was disappointed. I’m just like my father.”
It was these simple, concise words that allowed Pei Tingsong to glimpse a snapshot of Fang Juexia’s childhood. There were a thousand words in his heart, but they were all stuck in his throat, unable to be spoken.
“Want an apple?” Fang Juexia seemed to get up to leave, “I’ll go buy you some.”
“I don’t want one.” Pei Tingsong grabbed his arm, preventing him from leaving, “I said I was joking.”
“Alright.” Fang Juexia sat back down, gazing at the snow-white wall.
Suddenly, he was embraced by Pei Tingsong, who was lying sideways. Before his eyes was an arm connected to a transparent IV tube, wrapped around his neck, holding him close.
“I feel so miserable…” he said in a hoarse voice, but his tone was soft, “Let me hug you for a moment.”
Pei Tingsong buried his head in Fang Juexia’s shoulder, like a sick large dog, rubbing against him before clinging tightly. Fang Juexia couldn’t bear to push him away, so he convinced himself that it was normal for friends to hug each other.
The little clock in his heart ticked away, in sync with the droplets falling from the IV bag, one by one, sliding toward his heart, itching like a morning dewdrop after spring rain, landing precisely on his shoulder.
“Fang Juexia.” The silence lasted for one and a half minutes before Pei Tingsong spoke again in a muffled voice.
Fang Juexia rested her head on his, using it as a response, while also waiting for him to continue. Bones pressed closely together, conveying the warm sound of a low fever, “You said you wouldn’t feel anything for someone you don’t care about, right? This temper always has a reason behind it; your grandfather must be the same as you.”
The warmth of his breath sprayed onto her side neck, carefully dampening the soft sweater.
“He only gets upset with you because he loves you.”
Fang Juexia was momentarily stunned, his inner clock stretching each second to twice, even three times its normal length.
“And you’re not wrong; you haven’t wasted your talent at all…”
His head felt dizzy, as if he were the one who was sick. Every word from Pei Tingsong’s mouth left a lingering vibration.
“You were always meant for the stage.”
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