Chapter 38
When Xiang Mo’s parents divorced, he was just starting primary school and didn’t have much understanding of many things. Afterward, his mother had intermittent relationships with several men, but none of them lasted long.
During that time, Xiang Mo thought that marriage was meaningless and that love would be buried in the grave of marriage. Over the years, his perspective changed, and he came to believe that love itself was the tomb, and the marriage certificate was just the tombstone.
After taking Sanmao for a walk and returning, the sun was not fully set yet. Xiang Mo was in the courtyard, brushing Sanmao’s fur.
Large dogs shed a lot of hair, and with just a few strokes of the comb, it was filled with dog hair. If Sanmao shook a bit, the floating dog hair resembled dancing willow fluff.
“You look so hot. How about I shave you clean?” The master was away, and the stepmother took charge. Xiang Mo was feeling frustrated, so he directed his frustration towards the innocent Sanmao.
Sanmao let out a “woof,” and his innocent and clear eyes showed no signs of sensing any “malice” from the stepmother.
The combed-out dog hair was rolled into a ball and became a toy for Sanmei. Even though she was pregnant, the cat still couldn’t resist the allure of the furball.
Looking at the carefree duo, Xiang Mo sighed and said to Sanmao, “I might not have the chance to comb your fur in the future.”
Things that he couldn’t accept remained unacceptable. Just like everyone acknowledging that the plateau was beautiful, but for those who suffered from altitude sickness, it wouldn’t be heaven; it would be hell.
For Xiang Mo, the marriage vows were the gateway to hell. It felt as if a wicked dragon had extended its claws from the abyss, trying to drag him into boundless darkness.
After tidying up the dog hair in the courtyard, Xiang Mo picked up Sanmei and headed inside with her.
At that moment, the sound of a lock opening suddenly rang out. Du Chi opened the courtyard door and walked in.
With a simple white T-shirt paired with cropped jeans, he still looked so casually lazy, and no matter how much Xiang Mo looked at him, he never grew tired of it.
“Honey, I’m back,” Du Chi walked towards Xiang Mo with a canvas bag slung over his shoulder, “Missed me?”
Xiang Mo stood still, his expression unchanged.
Perhaps sensing that something was off, Du Chi walked to a spot just one step away from Xiang Mo and slowly stopped.
Inadvertently, Sanmei jumped out of Xiang Mo’s arms and slipped into the house. She had always been Sanmao’s little follower, and now she promptly followed inside.
“Du Chi,” Xiang Mo stood on the doorstep, maintaining eye contact with Du Chi, who was silently looking back, “Let’s break up.”
He had rehearsed this line countless times, thinking that it would be easy to say it out loud. However, in reality, Xiang Mo felt as though a heavy boulder was pressing down on his chest, making it difficult to breathe.
It’s okay, he reassured himself, the discomfort is only temporary. It’s better than prolonged suffering later.
Du Chi’s eyes noticeably turned cold, and the happiness he had when he saw Xiang Mo at home vanished from his lips, replaced by a sense of detachment that Xiang Mo had never seen before.
Silence enveloped the entire courtyard, isolating the laughter of passersby beyond the walls.
After a long while, Du Chi finally spoke, his lips moving slightly, “Okay.”
That’s it?
Why didn’t he say a few more words?
Didn’t he have any questions to ask?
Quickly stepping into the house, Xiang Mo called out to Du Chi, who was about to ascend the stairs, “Aren’t you curious?”
Du Chi stopped his steps, turned around, and looked at Xiang Mo beside the railing. His voice was calm as he asked, “Just because of that?”
Xiang Mo felt uncomfortable and looked away.
He really disliked this aspect of himself. Even though he had made up his mind to break up, he couldn’t seem to keep his composure.
“My dad urged me to register the studio, so I just thought of a name,” Du Chi’s tone remained steady, as if he had no intention of explaining. He simply stated the facts, “I didn’t think about it seriously; I just picked one that was readily available.”
Is that so…
Knowing Du Chi’s lazy nature, it was entirely possible for him to do something like that.
In other words, Xiang Mo had overthought the situation. It wasn’t a “marriage vow” at all; it was just a big dog being lazy.
Thinking this way, Xiang Mo inexplicably felt relieved, as if he had returned to a comfortable and justified state of mind.
But he quickly realized that his state of mind was wrong, very wrong. He had just broken up with Du Chi, but he was still waiting for an explanation. He had spent the whole day preparing himself mentally, but now it seemed like he was deceiving himself.
He pursed his lips and said, embarrassed, “Then we…”
Let’s continue for one more month.
Xiang Mo wanted to say this, but he was the one who initiated the breakup, and he found it difficult to voice it out loud. He knew that Du Chi could understand his intention, and he thought that Du Chi would offer him an excuse, but what he didn’t expect was Du Chi’s response, “Let’s break up for good. I’m tired too.”
Xiang Mo’s pupils suddenly dilated, “You want to break up?”
“It was you who wanted to break up, Xiang Mo,” Du Chi said expressionlessly, “I don’t want to play hide-and-seek with you anymore. Do you think I’m a dog? No matter how much you push me away, I’ll still use my wet nose to touch you?”
Xiang Mo couldn’t help but feel a bit panicked. Despite Du Chi’s emotionless gaze, he could sense that Du Chi was angry.
“Du Chi…”
“No need for one more month,” Du Chi interrupted Xiang Mo, “Either no deadline or break up now. You decide.”
No deadline?
Xiang Mo was slightly taken aback, realizing that Du Chi was also leaving room for reconciliation and wasn’t so resolute about breaking up.
So, was it all because he was angry at him?
Xiang Mo didn’t want to be trapped in this vicious cycle, but his insecurity in relationships stemmed from his past experiences and long-held beliefs that couldn’t easily be changed.
“Have you ever thought,” Xiang Mo lowered his gaze and spoke with difficulty, “what if you stop liking me in the future?”
In Xiang Mo’s understanding, this was bound to happen. He asked the question earnestly, but Du Chi casually replied, “If you run away now, I’ll stop liking you now.”
Without comforting the cat that was uncomfortable in the new environment, Du Chi simply tossed her inside.
He was really naughty.
Xiang Mo bit his lower lip and thought maybe they should just break up.
While Xiang Mo was wavering, his phone suddenly rang.
“Aunt Zhou,” he answered the call absentmindedly, then widened his eyes, “You fell?”
Aunt Zhou had slipped on the stairs and ended up sitting hard on the steps, unable to get up.
She had already called for an ambulance, but she still called Xiang Mo. After all, living alone with her children abroad, neighbors were the only ones who could look after her when something happened.
Both Xiang Mo and Du Chi went to the hospital and took Aunt Zhou to the nearby emergency room. Du Chi went to the payment counter to handle the formalities, while Xiang Mo sat by Aunt Zhou’s bed, helping to contact her family.
Fortunately, at this time, it was daytime where the children were located, so contacting them wasn’t difficult.
According to the doctor’s preliminary judgment, Aunt Zhou had a fracture in her coccyx, which was not serious in itself, but they needed to wait for the test results to see if it had caused any other problems.
While the children were worried, Aunt Zhou remained calm and lay quietly on the hospital bed, looking at the accident with an optimistic attitude.
Before the fall, she had changed out of her cheongsam, and her disheveled white hair looked different from her usual exquisite appearance, revealing a hint of weariness.
“Xiao Xiang.” Perhaps feeling bored lying there, Aunt Zhou suddenly asked, “Did you and Xiao Du have a fight?”
Throughout the journey, Xiang Mo and Du Chi hadn’t exchanged a single word, and it wasn’t surprising that Aunt Zhou noticed something was off between the two.
Xiang Mo didn’t like to talk about relationship matters, but as they waited in line for the examination, he was bored and had some emotions to vent. So, he decided not to care so much and said, “We broke up.”
“Is that so?” Aunt Zhou didn’t react much, as if she had already taken a philosophical view of such matters. “It’s normal for two people to have conflicts when they are together. Both sides need to compromise to make it last.”
Xiang Mo shook his head, his eyes lowered, and he said with difficulty, “It won’t last. How can love last forever?”
As he said this, he didn’t consider Aunt Zhou’s situation.
After the words came out, he realized that Aunt Zhou and her late husband had a good relationship; otherwise, she wouldn’t have gone back to live in the old Western-style house they used to live in, despite her children’s objections, after her husband passed away.
“Love doesn’t have to last forever; companionship lasting forever is enough,” Aunt Zhou said. “If you don’t find a partner when you are young, you’ll be lonely when you’re old.”
Xiang Mo had also thought about this issue, the advantages of being single were freedom, but the disadvantages were also apparent – being alone in old age with no one to rely on.
Those who chose to form a family, after enduring the ups and downs of life for 20 or 30 years, had someone to take care of them in their old age, so they didn’t need to worry about what would happen after they died.
Those who chose to be single could enjoy a good life for 20 or 30 years but needed to worry about their own affairs.
Both had pros and cons, and there was no absolute perfection; it was just a matter of personal preference.
Aunt Zhou was talking about the advantages of the former choice, which Xiang Mo knew, but she only saw the advantages. This somewhat made him feel dissatisfied.
“Aunt Zhou,” Xiang Mo said gently, “aren’t you lonely now?”
Her husband had already passed away, leaving behind only loneliness. As long as humans couldn’t live forever, all relationships would eventually come to an end.
Afraid that Aunt Zhou might feel offended, Xiang Mo added, “I just think that, if you’re alone, you won’t have to experience the pain of separation.”
Aunt Zhou smiled lightly and said, “That’s not how you think, my child.”
“Everyone will eventually die, so why bother living?”
With this simple question, something seemed to pierce through Xiang Mo’s mind, hitting him hard.
Yes, if it’s destined that love will eventually fade away, then why do so many people desperately seek it?
According to Xiang Mo’s logic, since love is destined to perish, it should never have been allowed to grow in the first place. By that same logic, should people commit suicide because they are destined to die?
Of course, that reasoning is absurd.
People live to experience life’s joys and sorrows, to savor the myriad flavors of life before reaching their end.
Love is also like that.
The reason why people live is the same as why they need love—because life and love are beautiful things. Even though they come with pain, they are enough to inspire courage and to try.
Aunt Zhou’s children called their friends to help take care of her. After all, neighbors were outsiders, and it’s better not to bother them if they didn’t have to.
As they left the hospital, the moon hung high in the sky. Du Chi walked ahead, and Xiang Mo followed, silence still enveloping them.
It wasn’t until they reached the quiet little garden at the hospital entrance that Xiang Mo stopped, unable to hold back and called out, “Du Chi.”
Du Chi turned his head to look at him, but he didn’t turn his shoulders. It was clear that he didn’t feel like talking.
Another period of silence.
The wooden long corridor of the garden was covered with ivy. Moonlight streamed through the corridor, casting mottled shadows on the two of them.
Du Chi couldn’t wait for Xiang Mo to continue, so he turned back around to keep walking.
Xiang Mo quickly took a step forward and said firmly, “Let’s be together.”
Du Chi’s footsteps abruptly halted, his back still facing Xiang Mo. For about three seconds, during those three seconds, Xiang Mo clenched his hand tightly, feeling more anxious than ever.
In the blink of an eye, three seconds passed. Before Xiang Mo could overthink it, Du Chi turned around, raising an imperceptible eyebrow, “How long?”
It definitely wouldn’t be just a month.
Xiang Mo replied, “Until you stop liking me.”
Even as he said those words, Xiang Mo was still incredibly anxious, as he always felt that someday their relationship would come to an end.
When that happens, either he would be hurt, or Du Chi would be hurt, or maybe they both would be hurt. None of those were good outcomes.
However, Aunt Zhou’s words had made him reconsider his thoughts. Maybe he didn’t need to worry about the end result and should just enjoy the process.
What if the outcome isn’t as bad as he had imagined?
Du Chi’s face, which had been dark all night, finally showed some signs of softening. He lifted his chin silently, subtly curling the corners of his mouth, and then looked at Xiang Mo, saying, “Then won’t that be a long time?”
