After nearly two months without sleeping in, Meng Xizhao finally experienced what it meant to wake naturally.
He almost felt like crying.
Stretching lazily, Meng Xizhao slowly walked out of the room. He first glanced at the flowers and plants in his courtyard to see if they were still growing well, then strolled over to the front yard.
Meng Jiuyu was on duty, Madame Meng was busy in the kitchen preparing a nourishing soup for Meng Xizhao, and Meng Jiaojiao was in Madame Meng’s courtyard with the county lord’s wife, going over the account books. Ever since the county lord had married in, Madame Meng had begun delegating authority, preparing to train her daughter-in-law as a successor. Meng Jiaojiao had already learned much of this as a child, so now it was simply a review.
As a result, only Meng Xisang remained in the front yard.
Seeing him, Meng Xizhao found it rather odd. “Big brother, why are you here?”
Meng Xisang: …
What’s wrong with me being here?
Rather, it’s you—why are you here?
Meng Xisang paused briefly before answering, “The National Academy officially has a rest day today, but even if it didn’t, I would’ve requested leave. You’ve come back after a long time, and who knows when you’ll be home again. Of course I have to stay, to fulfill my duty as an elder brother.”
Meng Xizhao: ………
Don’t tell me you’re going to start lecturing me again.
But thinking it over, he realized he hadn’t caused any trouble recently, and he had returned this time with merits. There was no opportunity for Meng Xisang to lecture him, so he relaxed and even scolded him lightly: “Big brother, I’m not saying this to pick on you, but love and heroism have their own timing. We’ll have plenty of chances to meet in the future, so why neglect your studies over such a trivial matter?”
Meng Xisang: ………
He’s lecturing me now?
And… is that how you even use ‘love and heroism’?
He looked at Meng Xizhao in silent disbelief, but in the end, he restrained himself and didn’t launch into a long-winded reply.
After all, Meng Xizhao would leave tomorrow. Being so close yet so far, he felt both tender and touched toward his younger brother. One day of patience was nothing.
He watched Meng Xizhao in silence.
Meng Xizhao paid no mind to his silence. After all, they were home—who still had to be on guard? He poured himself a cup of hot tea, brought it to his lips, blew on it a few times, and once it had cooled enough, he sipped, savoring the fragrance. A contented squint formed on his face.
He lingered over the tea for a while before finally setting the cup down. Then he reached for a pastry on the table and happily began eating.
Meng Xisang: ………
There were too many points to even comment on, and he didn’t know what to say.
After a long moment, he regained his voice. “Doesn’t Longxing Mansion have the pastries you like?”
Meng Xizhao chewed, swallowed the bite, and replied, “They do, but the ones at home taste better.”
Meng Xisang’s expression softened slightly. “When you go back, have the house cook come with you. She can make them for you every day.”
Meng Xizhao shook his head. “No need. They taste good here. Once I return to Longxing Mansion, they might not taste the same.”
Even if the ingredients were identical, the environment changed, and naturally, so would the flavor. Sitting in the government mansion was never as comfortable as being at home.
Meng Xisang understood, but there was nothing he could do. People assigned outside the capital could only return after three years, unless they achieved extraordinary merit or were specially pardoned by the emperor.
Unable to help, all he could do was think about going out later to buy some foods Meng Xizhao liked, so he could take them back and enjoy them slowly.
He remained silent. Meng Xizhao continued quietly enjoying his pastry.
Meng Xisang had intended to leave, but seeing him so content, he couldn’t help asking, “Er-lang.”
Meng Xizhao looked up. “Mm?”
“Aren’t you going out?”
Meng Xizhao: …
He looked puzzled. “Why would I leave the mansion?”
Meng Xisang: ………
Leave the mansion… to see the Crown Prince.
This time there was no wedding at home. If they wanted to meet, Meng Xizhao would have to go out.
But seeing Meng Xizhao’s completely bewildered expression, Meng Xisang had a bad premonition. “You’re not planning to stay in the mansion all day, are you?”
Meng Xizhao blinked. “What’s wrong with that?”
Meng Xisang opened his mouth helplessly, then hesitated.
It seemed those two were at it again!
He had been betrothed to the county lord for seven years, regularly sending letters and gifts, and never once had a quarrel. Yet his younger brother and the Crown Prince—just a short time, and he’d already witnessed two disputes.
Was it their incompatible temperaments?
Or was the distance causing emotional rifts?
Meng Xisang felt he could not meddle in matters of the heart. But from what he had observed, he believed that the two of them were serious about each other.
After all, they risked so much just to meet in secret. Even desecrating Buddha couldn’t stop them. To be together legitimately, they had ventured into the deadly lands of the Xiongnu. And after Er-lang was posted elsewhere, the Crown Prince even tracked him to the administration office. That day marked the Crown Prince’s first private appearance, and even now, people still whispered about it.
Wait.
That’s not right.
Meng Xisang slapped his forehead. He almost forgot—the Crown Prince was serious, but his younger brother… didn’t take him seriously at all!
Meng Xizhao sat quietly, watching his elder brother’s expressions change, occasionally patting his own head. He reached for the pastry plate and nudged it closer to himself.
His big brother was truly getting stranger. Could he have some hidden ailment?
Luckily, Meng Xisang couldn’t hear his thoughts—otherwise, he’d be spitting blood right now.
All this effort… for whom?
…
Having sorted his thoughts, Meng Xisang looked at Meng Xizhao again. Hesitating for a moment, he finally said, “Er-lang, listen to your elder brother’s advice.”
Meng Xizhao looked at him, puzzled.
Meng Xisang sighed. “You’re young and headstrong, born in the Administration Office, raised in silk and brocade. Your parents and I… we’ve never restrained you.”
Meng Xizhao: ………
Why do you always act like you’re my parent? You’re only four years older than me!
But the roar in his heart couldn’t stop Meng Xisang’s benevolent attitude. He continued his earnest admonition: “A man like you, Er-lang, is born with everything. Naturally, it’s easy to take the people and things around you for granted. But that won’t do. Hearts are made of flesh. No matter how warm the blood, if you keep pouring bucket after bucket of cold water over it, it will never heat up again.”
Meng Xizhao: ………
He stared at Meng Xisang in numb confusion. “Big brother, what exactly are you saying? I don’t understand a word.”
Seeing that he was still playing dumb, Meng Xisang shook his head helplessly and decided to play along. “What I mean is, now that you’ve returned and seen your family, go out and spend some time with your… cough, friends. Walk around a little. After all, once you leave again, who knows when you’ll return.”
Having said that, Meng Xisang stood, sighed, and turned to leave. Meng Xizhao watched his back for a few seconds, then slowly lowered his gaze.
He continued eating his pastry, seeming not to take Meng Xisang’s words to heart. But if anyone had bent down at that moment, they would have seen his foot tracing circles on the ground—an unconscious habit when someone is anxious or conflicted.
…
Cui Ye had left the palace early that morning.
He first went to his private residence and sat for a long while, watching the sunrise, watching the dew evaporate. Eventually, the vendors outside grew lively, but inside his courtyard, it remained quiet and empty.
Zhang Shuogong watched the Crown Prince’s hand on the desk, fingers gradually tensing, then being forced to relax again. After a moment of silence, he suggested, “Your Highness, perhaps I should go fetch him?”
Cui Ye suddenly looked at him, eyes intimidating.
Zhang Shuogong met his gaze calmly. Absolute loyalty looks like this: for the sake of one’s lord, one would do anything—even if it meant death, it mattered little.
Of course, Cui Ye wouldn’t kill him. For one, he wasn’t the type for killing, and for another, Zhang Shuogong was remarkably thick-skinned.
…
Even if someone discerned his thoughts, he only glanced at them and calmly accepted it. Such composure—many living in eras without discrimination against homosexuality would envy it.
After a moment, Cui Ye shook his head. “Don’t go.”
“Now is not the time to force him. If pushed too hard, he’ll run.”
Zhang Shuogong immediately replied, without a second thought, “If he runs, we’ll just bring him back.”
Cui Ye: …
He lifted his head, intending to scold him to teach him some respect—after all, Meng Xizhao was not an ordinary person.
He was someone who lived in his heart.
But then he considered: if Meng Xizhao really ran, what would he do in that situation? In the end, he realized he’d probably do exactly as Zhang Shuogong said—ignore everything and just bring him back.
However, if it really came to that, the two of them could never be close again in their lives.
And knowing Meng Xizhao’s temperament, he would never tolerate such a thing.
If it came to that day, it would either be total destruction or his own concession.
Cui Ye didn’t know about the saying “the first to fall in love loses first,” but he knew this: liking someone like Meng Xizhao meant he would never have another chance to overstep in his life.
But he could accept that. Besides overstepping, he could always advance by retreating.
After all, Meng Xizhao had a place for him in his heart. Even if it was as a friend, it was still a place.
Cui Ye thought for a moment, then stood. Zhang Shuogong, seeing him move, asked, “Your Highness, are you returning to the palace?”
Cui Ye shook his head. “I’m going to Bu Xun Tian.”
＊
Bu Xun Tian was now managed by Li Ping, and it had to be said—Li Ping had quite a business mind.
In just two months under him, the revenue had already increased by fifty percent, making more profit than when Meng Xizhao had managed it.
Cui Ye entered from a side alley. He did not go to Meng Xizhao’s private chamber, but asked a maid for an empty room. Once inside, he brewed a pot of tea, closed the door, and no one could see what he was doing.
Li Ping, having seen the Crown Prince arrive, grew nervous and fidgeted, unsure where to put his hands. Only after a maid reminded him did he remember that the Crown Prince had some acquaintance with his cousin.
So the message was quickly sent to the Administration Office.
When Meng Xizhao heard from Qingfu that the Crown Prince was at Bu Xun Tian, he simply nodded, then returned to his afternoon nap, showing no intention of going out.
Qingfu was also puzzled. Just before, the Crown Prince had traveled thousands of miles to visit his husband, and now, in an instant, their relationship seemed to have deteriorated.
Meng Xizhao appeared calm, but Li Ping could not stay calm.
As a mediocre government official without ambition, he really didn’t want to get involved with the Crown Prince.
After a while, Li Ping sent another message to Meng Xizhao:
—The Crown Prince is still here.
—The Crown Prince is still here.
—Why isn’t he eating or leaving? Is he going to faint from hunger?
—Cousin! Please, come quickly! If you don’t, I might pass out myself!
Meng Xizhao: ………
By lunchtime, the first message Li Ping sent remained true—the Crown Prince had not left even by dusk, seemingly determined to sit there until the palace gave him the key.
Meng Xizhao felt a bit annoyed.
He felt that Cui Ye was deliberately playing the pitiful card—refusing to eat and sitting there stiffly to force him to comply.
What annoyed him more, though, was that he had actually fallen for it.
Sitting in the room, it felt like needles were pricking his seat, making it impossible to stay still. His mind kept drifting to the Crown Prince’s health. Even though Zhang Shuogong had returned, there was no word that the poison had been fully purged. On top of that, the last time the Crown Prince suddenly came to Longxing Mansion, Meng Xizhao still didn’t know what had truly happened that day to leave him in that state.
What if it was related to his body…
After a long silence, Meng Xizhao finally stood up.
Meng Xisang, who had nearly bought out the morning market outside Donghua Gate, was busy directing the servants to unload the goods when he saw Meng Xizhao emerge. He reminded him, “Er-lang, it’s almost time for dinner. Where are you going?”
Meng Xizhao paused, then said, “I have some matters to attend to… I’m going out to see a friend.”
Meng Xisang’s eyes lit up with excitement. “Really? Then go ahead. I’ll inform our parents for you.”
Meng Xizhao: ………
I’m going to see my friend—why are you so happy about it?
He glanced at him oddly and shook his head, letting it go.
Seeing Meng Xizhao finally appear, Li Ping relaxed completely. He led him up and inquired, “Why is the Crown Prince here today? Is he waiting for you? But if he were, why not send someone to fetch you? Why go through all this trouble?”
Meng Xizhao pursed his lips, his expression distant. He didn’t answer Li Ping’s question, instead pushing the door open and entering directly. Just as Li Ping was about to peek inside, the door slammed shut with a bang.
Li Ping: ………
Whoa.
Even facing the Crown Prince, he dared to barge in like that. His cousin was really getting bolder.
Zhang Shuogong, hearing the noise, initially thought someone was trying to break in. He even drew his sword, but upon seeing Meng Xizhao, he froze, then silently sheathed it again.
Meng Xizhao glanced at him, then at Cui Ye seated calmly. He said nothing; Cui Ye also remained silent.
Zhang Shuogong: ………
Suddenly, he felt utterly redundant.
Before the awkwardness could deepen, Zhang Shuogong bowed slightly to Cui Ye. “Your Highness, I’ll take my leave.”
Cui Ye barely turned his head toward him, softly responding with a nod.
Zhang Shuogong quickly made his way to the door, pressing close to the wall to avoid obstruction, and slipped out. Meanwhile, Meng Xizhao remained by the doorway, expressionless, not yielding an inch.
Zhang Shuogong: ………
After a moment, he squeezed past and exited.
…
With no one else present, Cui Ye let out a small laugh. “Er-lang got angry, even Zhang Shuogong didn’t dare to provoke you.”
Meng Xizhao’s expression stiffened slightly.
He wasn’t scared of Zhang Shuogong—he was cautious because of Cui Ye. He was only benefiting from association.
After a pause, Meng Xizhao stopped standing and walked over to sit across from Cui Ye.
He eyed the teapot on the table and asked, “Your Highness, have you now mastered your sorcery?”
Cui Ye blinked, unsure of what he meant.
Meng Xizhao arched an eyebrow. “Isn’t that the case? Otherwise, why would Your Highness begin fasting? Presumably, in the future, you’ll nourish yourself solely on dew and the northwest wind, keeping yourself plump and fair. Truly admirable, Your Highness—setting an example for the people and conserving food to this extent. I’m impressed.”
Cui Ye: ………
He pursed his lips, seeming somewhat displeased, yet also trying to suppress the corners of his mouth from curling.
After a while, he finally said five words: “I am not fasting.”
Then he pulled a paper package from his chest. Inside were chunks of peanut brittle.
The candy, made from sugar and peanuts, was as caloric as an energy bar. Eating this clearly did not count as fasting.
Meng Xizhao: ………
He conceded. “Was this deliberate?”
Shutting the door, secretly eating candy, pretending not to eat anything, and then luring him over.
Cui Ye didn’t deny it. He simply smiled gently and said, “That only works if Er-lang is willing to take the bait.”
Meng Xizhao: ………
Speechless.
Then Cui Ye nudged the paper package toward him. “You once said that eating sweets could lift your spirits. No matter the problem, after eating, it’s no longer a problem.”
Meng Xizhao looked at him. “I only said that to tease you. One piece of candy can’t solve everything; if it could, there’d be no sad people in the world.”
Cui Ye hesitated, then still pushed the package toward him. “But that day, I believed you. Today, will you believe me too? Let me cheer you up, just this once.”
Meng Xizhao: ………
Fine. He no longer found Cui Ye’s words clingy.
This was clearly sweet talk, with ulterior motives.
Meng Xizhao sat motionless, staring at Cui Ye, refusing to speak.
Cui Ye waited a moment, roughly understanding his intent, slightly defeated, and then pulled the paper package back.
Cui Ye had always been handsome.
Xie Yuan resembled him slightly, but Xie Yuan’s features were refined, more like a worldly gentleman. Cui Ye, in contrast, had softer facial angles. His feminine charm often elicited pity, especially when he feigned helplessness.
Meng Xizhao knew Cui Ye was probably acting, but couldn’t help leaning slightly toward believing him—what if he wasn’t pretending?
As the paper package was being slowly pulled back, another resistance came from the other side. Cui Ye looked up and saw Meng Xizhao puffing his cheeks, clearly very upset.
With a little force, Cui Ye immediately released it, and the package ended up before Meng Xizhao. With quick movements, he repackaged it and, pouting, tucked it into his chest.
“I’m taking this back to eat,” he said.
The paper package had just come from Cui Ye’s hands, and now it was pressed close to Meng Xizhao’s chest. He could even feel the warmth radiating from it.
Looking up again, Cui Ye was watching him with delight, as if what Meng Xizhao had taken wasn’t a simple bag of candy, but a token of affection.
Meng Xizhao: ………
He regretted it.
Some things are awkward if left unsaid, but even more so if spoken aloud.
Feeling unable to withstand Cui Ye’s gaze, Meng Xizhao turned his head and focused on the calligraphy on the wall instead. “I leave tomorrow. This time I go back, it will be a long while before I return.”
Cui Ye nodded. “I understand. Er-lang, travel safely. When I have time, I will come see you.”
See me?!
No, no, you really shouldn’t.
Meng Xizhao opened his mouth to decline gently. “Longxing Mansion is far and the roads perilous. Your Highness should take care of your own health…”
Hearing himself mentioned, Cui Ye paused. He could feign fasting, but real threats to his health? He never spoke of them, just smiled and said, “It’s nothing. The energy spent along the journey will be more than replenished once I see you.”
Meng Xizhao: ………
Damn.
So once the truth is out, he completely throws caution to the wind, not even pretending anymore.
Meng Xizhao had never felt so flustered.
This was the Crown Prince, the heir to the throne. You’re bending like this in front of me?
And if you’re going to bend, why does it have to be toward me? Fine, I’ve decided to stay single, but being single doesn’t mean I have to become a gay man!
Meng Xizhao wasn’t just panicking—he was outraged.
The elegant, enviable bond between ruler and minister he had looked forward to was gone. The beautiful, pure friendship he had expected was gone. From now on, he might not shine in official history, but instead become famous only in unofficial records.
Imagine, when the world develops technology and the internet, how many fanfics will feature a minister supposedly having an affair with the emperor…
In future historical BL rankings, it wouldn’t be Long Yang Jun, Dong Xian, and Han Yan in the top three—it would be Long Yang Jun, Dong Xian, and me.
Thinking this, Meng Xizhao felt his vision blacken.
His mind was in chaos, frantically thinking how to salvage his precarious reputation, completely missing something important:
If he truly had no such intentions, this story wouldn’t even be recorded. The examples he cited were all consensual. History has never been indiscriminate; tales of forced seduction might be sensational in the moment, but only unwavering, mutual devotion is remembered and celebrated across generations.
Meng Xizhao’s thoughts were a tangle. He didn’t notice that Cui Ye, sitting across from him, was quietly observing every nuance.
Meng Xizhao’s face was full of confusion, panic, and resistance, but for Cui Ye, this finally allowed him to relax.
He wasn’t afraid of Meng Xizhao’s hesitation or reluctance—he only feared his certainty. Because if Meng Xizhao were resolute, it would mean there was no chance at all.
But like this, it was fine. The task was heavy and the path long, but they could walk it slowly. The fragrance of flowers along the way was a gift from Meng Xizhao. He would savor it.