After returning to the shop, Madam Liu had grown closer to Lu Ling that day, and when she went home, she was all smiles. Shu Rui, however, felt an indescribable melancholy once he was alone.
That afternoon, the drink business at the shop was sluggish. A few scholars came to buy victory cakes, but after purchasing them, they didn’t eat them in the shop. With nothing to occupy him, Shu Rui couldn’t help letting his thoughts wander. In the end, he simply went for a stroll through the market and even bought two large pieces of pig skin.
He brought them back and patiently plucked all the bristles clean, added ingredients to remove the odor, and boiled them until the pig skin curled. He fished them out, scrubbed and scraped the greasy residue off the surface several times, then cut away the thick fat on the inside.
While they were still hot, he sliced them into strips, rubbed them with salt and washed them until the water ran clear. Then he put them into a pot with the spices used for braised meat—large chunks of scallion and ginger, bay leaves, star anise, angelica root—and simmered them slowly over a low flame.
The pig skin was stewed until soft and yielding, snapping apart with just a pinch of chopsticks. He took it out, placed it into a basin, and sent it down to the cellar to cool. Early the next morning, it would set into aspic; dressed with a dipping sauce, it would be perfect to eat.
After all that fussing, time passed quickly. Before he knew it, it was already early evening.
Before Carpenter Tong wrapped up his work, he told Shu Rui that the flooring repairs in the west room were basically finished. Starting tomorrow, he would begin work on the east room—that was the room Shu Rui and Lu Ling were currently living in. He was giving advance notice so they could clear things out ahead of time and make the repairs go faster.
Shu Rui agreed. He figured they would repair Lu Ling’s room first. There wasn’t much in his own room anyway—he would just need to roll up the floor bedding.
He had just seen Carpenter Tong off when Lu Ling came home.
Seeing him return, Shu Rui brought water for him to wash his face and hands, then carried over a bowl of refreshing drink.
“Are you all right?” Lu Ling asked.
Hearing this, Shu Rui knew he was referring to the news about the Bai family earlier that day. He couldn’t help saying, “What’s there to be not all right about? Now that I know what’s going on over there, the worry I’d been holding onto has finally settled.”
“My cousin got the post, my aunt achieved her goal, and I’m of no further use to the Bai family. I imagine they won’t waste any more effort looking for me.”
More than just not looking—he suspected they were probably hoping he’d rot away somewhere outside. His aunt’s careful plan had fallen through, and she’d ended up sacrificing her own ger instead. No matter how you looked at it, blood had been shed. If she thought of him now, she probably ground her teeth in fury.
Lu Ling said, “That really is a good thing. At least you won’t have to worry about them coming after you anymore. From now on, there’s no need to keep hiding.”
“I just didn’t expect that Gancounty, such a small place, could still end up being connected to your family like this.”
When Shu Rui first learned that Lu Ling was from Gancounty, his heart had skipped a beat. He worried that the elders of both families might know each other. Now it seemed that even if they didn’t know one another, there was at least some awareness.
Lu Ling took Shu Rui’s hand. “It’s fine. If things had gone the way they were before, with my father only getting that county post and not this prefectural one, there might have been trouble. Now that he has a better posting, if you think about it, without all these twists and turns, we might not even have come to the prefectural city.”
Shu Rui let out a soft breath. Family matters really were a tangled mess.
If his parents hadn’t passed away back then, if he hadn’t gone to the Bai family and caused all this trouble by running from the marriage, then with his former family background, perhaps his being with Lu Ling would have been something the elders approved of.
Now he was just an orphaned ger, with all those unpleasant matters in his past. It was uncertain whether even an ordinary family would accept him, let alone a household like the Lu family.
These were things he couldn’t think about too much. Shu Rui gently shook his head. He didn’t want to say any of this out loud and add to their worries. Instead, he gathered himself and said to Lu Ling, “Today, after spending time with your mother, I felt she’s mostly kind and very proper. Most importantly, she really cares about you.”
At the mention of his mother, Lu Ling couldn’t help saying, “It’s because you’re so likable. In just half a day, you already made it feel like you were family.”
Shu Rui smiled. “It’s not as impressive as you make it sound. Your mother was warm with me because I told her about what you’ve been doing these past few months at the inn. That’s why she grew close to me. In the end, it’s still because of you.”
Lu Ling knew that Shu Rui had put a great deal of thought into easing things between him and his family. How could he not be moved? Precisely because of this, he didn’t want Shu Rui to be wronged by having to sneak around. Of course, he also had his own selfish wishes.
He tested the waters again. “Since you think she’s kind and easy to talk to, and she likes you as well, why don’t we just tell her about the two of us?”
“That won’t do.”
Shu Rui immediately cut off the idea. “Even if she thinks I’m not bad right now, that’s only because I temporarily helped ease some of her worries. I don’t have any real ties of interest with your family, so she feels favorably toward me. But if I were to become her daughter-in-law, the way she looks at people and things—and her expectations—would all be different.
“I’m afraid that by then, it would be hard even to curry her favor, let alone see her. How could it be like now, when she’s still willing to come talk to me herself?”
“Don’t think that I’m asking you to keep our relationship hidden because I don’t take us seriously. What I’m thinking is to take it step by step, to slowly interact first in a less intimate role. Over time, once your family understands what kind of person I am, it’ll be easier for them to accept us.”
That was how Shu Rui had planned it. “Think about it—if you open your mouth and tell them about us right away, and your family doesn’t yet know what kind of person I am, all they’ll hear is that my parents are dead, I have no family background, I’m an orphaned ger who does business, and I even betrayed the family that took me in by running away from a marriage. What parent wouldn’t feel their head spin hearing all that?
“Once a person’s character is fixed in their mind, how would they still have the heart to understand things carefully? All their thoughts would be on breaking us apart, on pulling you back from what they see as a crooked path.”
After hearing Shu Rui’s words, Lu Ling fell silent.
After a moment, he said, “If we try everything and they still refuse, if they insist I have to choose, then I will definitely take you and leave.”
Family warmth was certainly good, but he had already grown used to being away from home all these years. At worst, things would just be like before—sending money home every month to help out.
Shu Rui, however, was someone he could never give up.
Seeing how firm Lu Ling sounded, Shu Rui couldn’t help laughing. “Now you’re just talking nonsense. Are we really going to become a pair of miserable lovers who elope together?”
“There’s no need to take that step if we can help it.”
“I’m talking about the worst-case outcome,” Lu Ling said.
Shu Rui smiled and asked, “Then where would you take me?”
“The capital. It’s even more prosperous than Chaoxi Prefecture. It has everything. If we go there, we’ll definitely be able to live well.”
“You really know how to plan ahead.”
As they joked, Shu Rui added, “Right now, Madam Liu is hoping you’ll move back home to live. She even told me to persuade you.”
Lu Ling immediately asked, “Did you agree?”
“How could I agree? How could I decide something like that for you? At most, I can just tell you about it. What to do is still up to you.”
Lu Ling was unwilling. Even though their doors faced each other, during the day he was busy working at the martial hall. It was only after getting off work that he could spend time with Shu Rui.
If he moved back home, once the doors closed on both sides, even that little bit of time together would be gone. Each door would face a different direction, making it feel as if they were cut off from one another.
But he didn’t blurt this out. Instead, he asked Shu Rui, “What do you think?”
Shu Rui said, “Now that your family has come, if they were far away it’d be one thing. But with the neighbors so close, everyone can see. If word gets out that you, as a son, would rather stay at an inn outside than live at home, who knows what people would say.”
“Your father holds office in the city and is particular about his reputation. By rights, you ought to go home to stay.”
Lu Ling hadn’t really wanted to hear Shu Rui say any of this. He knew perfectly well what kind of person Shu Rui was, yet he still refused to give up and insisted on asking, as if hearing it once more would change something. It wasn’t that he didn’t understand the reasoning—his heart just didn’t sit right with it.
So he lifted his chin slightly. “Fine. I’ll listen to you, then. Since you’re telling me to go home, I’ll go home.”
Shu Rui’s brow twitched. He blinked.
That was it? He agreed just like that, without even arguing? Shu Rui felt a sudden blockage in his chest, an inexplicable discomfort. But he himself had laid out the logic; now that the other person had gone along with it, he couldn’t very well say anything else.
He drew a small breath. “Then… are you eating dinner here, or going back to eat?”
Lu Ling said, “If I’m going back to stay, I’ll just eat over there.”
Shu Rui pressed his lips together. “Alright. Saves me the trouble, too. I was just going to do something simple tonight—pork and mushroom filling, shrimp filling—eat a bowl of dumplings.”
Lu Ling ground his teeth inwardly. “Alright. Eat early and get some rest. Since I won’t be here, make sure you lock the doors and windows tonight.”
That evening, Shu Rui grabbed the cleaver, his small face set tight, and chopped the pork on the cutting board until it thudded loudly. He had nowhere to vent the frustration knotted in his chest, so he poured it all into the dumpling filling.
He buried his head and wrapped fifteen dumplings for himself, boiled them, then sat alone in the courtyard with a bowl in his hands. The filling was fragrant enough, but once it reached his mouth there was no taste to speak of. In the end, he only ate five before he couldn’t bring himself to eat any more.
As the sky darkened, he deliberately carried out a basin of water and poured it into the drainage ditch outside the back door. Across the way, lanterns lit up at the neighboring back doors; every door was tightly shut, with no sign of anyone coming out.
Seeing this, Shu Rui stormed back into the courtyard and, with a creak, shut the door that Lu Ling had left open since leaving, sliding in both bolts for good measure.
He returned to his room to wash up, then crawled into bed earlier than usual.
He meant to sort through business matters in his head, but the moment he started thinking, it was all Lu Ling—what that foolish boy might be doing at home, what he was eating, whether he’d help wash vegetables, help do the dishes.
Shu Rui shook his head. In the end, he sat back up and picked up a book to read. After a few lines, he realized he had never found reading so tedious.
He gave up altogether, tossed the book aside, and lay quietly on his side, staring at the wall opposite him.
His heart had already been weighed down by what he’d learned during the day about the Bai family. Now that Lu Ling had gone home too, it felt even worse.
Lu Ling still had a home to return to. He himself no longer did. His parents had passed away long ago; given how things stood with the Bai family, they surely hated him to the bone. Though he’d never planned to go back, he had lived there for many years. Now that he’d left, all that remained on both sides was resentment. It left him with a profound sense of drifting alone in the world, an orphaned ge’er with nowhere to belong.
In front of others he was always clear-headed and steady, but he was still human. In the deep quiet of night, thinking of his own misfortunes, his heart inevitably turned sour.
Shu Rui pressed his lips tight and sniffed. Just as the ache in his chest peaked, he suddenly heard a creak.
His ears instantly pricked up. He rolled upright, then cautiously called out, “Lu Ling?”
Outside, the night wind howled, slamming into the locked doors and windows before stumbling away.
He wondered if it was just the wind, but remembering the earlier break-in, he stayed cautious. He crept toward the door and carefully opened a narrow crack to look out.
One lantern remained lit in the courtyard. It wasn’t bright, but it was enough to see by.
At a glance, he spotted a tall, straight figure standing right in front of his door.
Shu Rui flung the door open with a clatter. His heart was clearly delighted, yet he still put on a calm front.
“Aren’t you supposed to be staying over there? It’s so late—why are you back? Sneaking around like a thief, you nearly scared me to death.”
Seeing Shu Rui poking his head out of the room, Lu Ling couldn’t help the corners of his mouth lifting. “I forgot to bring my clothes. Came back to grab a change to wash up with.”
“I never knew you were this obsessed with cleanliness.”
The moment Shu Rui heard that, another mouthful of pent-up irritation lodged in his chest, and his tongue grew sharp. “Well, that makes sense. Second Young Master Lu is refined and elegant, leaving a trail of fragrance wherever he goes. I can’t compare—but stay close to vermilion and you turn red. Even a rough fellow learns to like things clean.”
Lu Ling narrowed his eyes. “So what you’re saying is, if there hadn’t been anything between us first, you’d rather be with him?”
“I never said that.”
Shu Rui made a show of yawning. “If you’re taking clothes, hurry up and get them. I’m about to fall asleep—you woke me.”
Seeing that Shu Rui was still trying to chase him off, even now that he’d come back, Lu Ling spoke sourly. “You’re turning in early tonight.”
“I read for a bit and got tired, so I went to bed.”
Lu Ling pressed on. “What book? You bought new books? Or did you sneak into my room while I was gone and take that book the scholar gave me?”
Shu Rui hummed lazily and said, “Tomorrow Carpenter Tong is coming to fix the floor in the room you were staying in. Since you were going home anyway, I tidied up your room and brought the books along with it.”
With a bang, Lu Ling darted into the room like the house was on fire. The already-bare room was now truly empty—even the floor bedding was gone.
He was furious. “You’re fast with your hands, aren’t you? If I’d come back any later, you’d probably have rented this room out to someone else already!”
Like a dog with its fur standing on end, Lu Ling spun around and stormed back toward Shu Rui, ready to raise hell. “Tonight I really—”
Before he could finish, a figure rushed up first and threw itself into his arms. Caught off guard, he was knocked back a step, his arms suddenly full of warmth and fragrance.
There was no lamp lit inside, only moonlight spilling in through the window, hazy and dim.
Shu Rui lowered his head slightly, his forehead pressed against Lu Ling’s chest, both arms wrapped tightly around his waist.
No matter how much they argued, his heart still ached. He was afraid—afraid that Lu Ling would really go home and never come back.
Lu Ling froze, not knowing what had come over him. All his anger vanished at once. He didn’t dare move, afraid of startling the person in his arms.
Before speaking, he lifted his arms and carefully encircled Shu Rui’s shoulders, holding him more securely.
They stayed like that for a long while. Shu Rui didn’t say a word, just leaned against Lu Ling’s solid body, lips pressed tight, breathing in the familiar scent on him. Only then did the tangled emotions of the day finally ease, settling into something like calm.
After a long pause, Lu Ling asked softly, “What’s wrong?”
Pressed against him, Shu Rui spoke in a low, slightly aggrieved voice. “I didn’t want you to leave.”
Lu Ling felt as if something struck his heart all at once. Shu Rui had been the one to persuade him with reason, yet in that instant—even if Shu Rui asked for the stars, he would find a way to pluck them from the sky.
“I know what you’re thinking. You have no idea how happy that makes me.”
He explained, “I never planned to really move back for good. I just listened to your reasoning—go back first, let people see the right appearance, act filial for a few days, eat a few meals together, ease things up. Like you said, it’ll make things easier to talk about later.”
Lu Ling had already worked it out in his head. Matters between the two of them weren’t something Shu Rui should shoulder alone.
He’d decided this during the day but hadn’t said it out loud, thinking it was just bravado. He hadn’t expected Shu Rui to take it so hard. Guilt welled up in him, and he held Shu Rui even tighter.
After hearing him out, Shu Rui said, “What you’re doing is right. It’s just that my mood wasn’t good today, and I didn’t talk to you properly.”
Lu Ling lowered his head and gently lifted the face buried against his chest. Seeing the redness at the tip of Shu Rui’s nose made his heart twist painfully tight.
He bent slightly and, with ease, picked up the ge’er who was dressed a bit too lightly, then turned and carried him toward Shu Rui’s room.
“Lu Ling, don’t—”
Lu Ling carried him inside and set him down on the bed. The moment he touched down, Shu Rui hurriedly scooted to the side. “You said you wouldn’t bully me.”
Seeing him puff out his eyes and pout as he glared, Lu Ling found him unbearably cute.
“I promised you. I won’t do anything improper. You barely put anything on after washing up—there’s a strong wind tonight. You’ll catch a chill.”
Seeing that Lu Ling stood honestly by the bed without coming closer, Shu Rui finally relaxed.
No matter how reckless he might be, he couldn’t do something like that before marriage.
“I’ll put on some clothes and set your floor bedding back up.”
Lu Ling said, “Why not lay it here in your room? It’ll save trouble tomorrow, and I can keep you company a bit longer.”
Shu Rui wavered for a moment, but still said, “That’s not trouble at all. If someone saw, what then?”
Knowing he wouldn’t get such a great deal, Lu Ling wasn’t too disappointed when Shu Rui refused.
“Don’t rush to make my bed. I can do it myself. But is there anything left to eat? I barely touched dinner over there. The fish was too fishy, the lamb tough enough to make my jaw ache. I’m starving now.”
Shu Rui thought to himself that once upon a time, this man ate anything without complaint. Now he’d been spoiled—went home for dinner and still came back hungry. It was laughable.
“There’s no cooked dishes left. Just half a bowl of dumplings I had left over, cooling in the well. Will you eat them?”
Of course he would. Leftovers were only better. He happily ran off to fetch them.
Shu Rui threw on a robe and went to the stove, poking open the buried embers and adding firewood to heat the dumplings for Lu Ling.