Ye Qingyang watched as Lu Jingcheng left with Chen Wei and Bai Le. When the three of them came back, each had a different expression on their face.
Lu Jingcheng still looked listless.
Chen Wei looked like he wanted to say something but couldn’t.
Bai Le, meanwhile, seemed to have a headache.
They all returned to their seats. Watching them, Ye Qingyang felt, for the first time, a little regret that he and Lu Jingcheng weren’t desk partners.
Then again… Lu Jingcheng was probably relieved, he thought.
After all, he’d been avoiding him all day.
Ye Qingyang lowered his head and lightly bumped his forehead against his arm on the desk.
What even is this situation? What am I supposed to do?
He looked at Lu Jingcheng, feeling frustrated. For the first time, he realized just how troublesome feelings could be.
If Lu Jingcheng were a girl, it would be so much simpler.
He could just agree to date him. After all, he liked being around Lu Jingcheng more than anyone else.
But Lu Jingcheng was a guy.
And he wasn’t gay.
How was he supposed to deal with that?
Slumping over his desk, Ye Qingyang felt like this was probably the most frustrating day of his life.
After school that afternoon, Ye Qingyang quickly packed his bag and walked over to Lu Jingcheng’s desk.
Chen Wei looked at him, his expression… complicated.
Catching that look, Ye Qingyang guessed he probably already knew what had happened between him and Lu Jingcheng.
Lu Jingcheng finished packing, stood up, said “I’m heading out” to Chen Wei and the others, and left the classroom with Ye Qingyang.
Chen Wei turned to Bai Le. “So… what do we do?”
Bai Le sighed. “Nothing. Just let it be.”
Dong Yu looked confused. “Is there something I don’t know?”
“Oh, there’s a lot you don’t know,” Chen Wei replied.
After dinner, Lu Jingcheng and Ye Qingyang returned to the dorm together.
“Is there anything you don’t understand?” Ye Qingyang asked. “I can explain it to you.”
“No need,” Lu Jingcheng said lightly. “There’s too much I don’t understand. It’d be a hassle to go through it all.”
“It’s fine,” Ye Qingyang said gently. “We can take it one step at a time.”
“Forget it.” Lu Jingcheng pulled out his Chinese test paper. “I don’t feel like studying.”
Ye Qingyang: …
“You said before that if I ranked higher than you, I could supervise your studying,” he said softly.
Lu Jingcheng fell silent for a moment, then said quietly, “Then just consider me going back on my word.”
Ye Qingyang: !!!
He was stunned.
Going back on his word? Lu Jingcheng actually said that?
“You’re not like this,” he said.
Lu Jingcheng smiled faintly and looked up at him. “Then what am I like?”
Ye Qingyang met his eyes but didn’t answer.
Lu Jingcheng’s smile was gentle.
“You should know,” he said. “I don’t like studying. This is the real me.”
After saying that, he suddenly didn’t feel like doing the Chinese paper anymore.
He closed it, stood up calmly, and said, “Honestly, I was never a good student to begin with. My personality isn’t great either. So whatever I said before—you can just take it with a grain of salt. No need to take it seriously.”
“I’m going to rest. You should keep studying. You’re actually good at it—once you put in effort, your scores improve a lot. If you keep it up, you might even get into a key class. That’d be better than staying in ours.”
With that, he turned and walked toward his bed.
Watching his back, Ye Qingyang couldn’t help asking, “Is this… how we’re going to be from now on?”
Lu Jingcheng paused.
“You mean… this is how you’ll treat me from now on?” Ye Qingyang asked.
Lu Jingcheng lowered his head slightly. “Not exactly.”
“I’m still figuring things out,” he said. “It might be a little awkward at first, but later on… it should get better. At least, it won’t stay this awkward.”
“Are we still friends?” Ye Qingyang asked.
Lu Jingcheng nodded. “Of course. If you ever need help with anything, just come to me.”
“Is that what being friends with you means?” Ye Qingyang asked. “That you’re always there to help me?”
Lu Jingcheng fell silent.
He didn’t know what to say.
Because the truth was… he couldn’t really help Ye Qingyang that much anyway.
Ye Qingyang was smart. If he didn’t have money, he’d find a way to earn it. If he ran into trouble, he’d figure out a solution on his own.
Whether Lu Jingcheng helped him or not didn’t seem to make much difference.
Just like the dorm situation—Lu Jingcheng had insisted, and Ye Qingyang had only reluctantly accepted.
A lot of things… had just been his own assumptions.
Assuming Ye Qingyang liked him.
Assuming he had helped him a lot.
But maybe… none of it was the way he thought.
In the end, it was all just one-sided.
Lu Jingcheng blinked, his throat tightening.
“Then… don’t come to me for help,” he said.
“You can ask someone else.”
At first, Ye Qingyang used to think Lu Jingcheng was too willful, too reckless.
But over time, that feeling changed.
Lu Jingcheng lived vividly and proudly, full of light—honest, straightforward, more real than anyone else.
That was why Ye Qingyang liked being around him.
Liked everything about him—his strengths and his flaws.
Liked making him happy.
And yet… in the end, he was the one who made him unhappy.
Ye Qingyang understood everything.
The logic Bai Le saw so clearly—he understood it too.
He knew the “right” thing to do was for the two of them to give each other space, cool off for ten days or half a month.
If they could still be friends afterward, great.
If not, then they should gracefully step out of each other’s lives.
Throughout middle and high school, he had received plenty of confessions and handled situations like this many times.
Every time before, he handled them well.
Except this time.
This time, he was selfish.
Unfair.
Refusing Lu Jingcheng’s feelings—yet still wanting to remain friends.
That wasn’t right.
But even so…
He didn’t want to lose Lu Jingcheng.
Lu Jingcheng was the only surprise he had ever encountered in this world.
Something rare—something he had never experienced in either of his lives.
He couldn’t walk away from Lu Jingcheng’s life so easily.
And he couldn’t let Lu Jingcheng walk out of his life either.
Maybe some people could meet someone like Lu Jingcheng… and still let go.
But he wasn’t one of them.
Ye Qingyang lowered his gaze and, once again, thought—
If only Lu Jingcheng were a girl.