Lin County.
By the time Shi Wuxiang arrived, it was already the next day.
They had missed several places yesterday, but he had a feeling—Yuan Zhao must be in Lin County. He must be in Xingtao Village of Yangma Town.
He first stayed in the town and sent Gou Yi and Zhou Ren to investigate whether anyone had recently rented a courtyard or spent money to purchase one. Since it had only been two days, if there were such inquiries, people would not have forgotten so quickly.
Part of him hoped someone would know Yuan Zhao’s whereabouts. Another part feared someone truly did—because Yuan Zhao, alone with a child, could easily be taken advantage of.
There had indeed been inquiries in the town, but after careful questioning, none matched Yuan Zhao’s situation. Shi Wuxiang felt both relief and rising tension.
“Go directly to Xingtao Village.”
“Yes.”
Only a single day had passed, yet Shi Wuxiang no longer looked as polished as before. His clothes had not been changed, and if not for searching for Yuan Zhao, he likely would not even have bothered to tie his hair.
Once he found him, he would properly discipline him—this person who always claimed to prioritize his husband, yet secretly kept doing things that stepped all over him.
——Achoo.
Yuan Zhao sneezed hard while washing clothes.
He rubbed his nose. Was the clothing too thin? It shouldn’t be catching a cold in this warm spring.
Yuan Yuan quickly brought warm water over.
“Brother, drink tea. I’ll wash it for you. I’m also good at washing clothes.”
“No need,” Yuan Zhao said. “Go practice the characters you learned. Tomorrow I’ll go to town and buy you copybooks and brushes.”
“I can practice on the ground too.”
“That’s not the same,” Yuan Zhao said. “Your A-Xiang gege uses good paper, that’s why his handwriting is so nice.”
He used Shi Wuxiang as an example without thinking.
Only after speaking did a dull ache settle in his chest.
He fell silent and continued washing.
Behind the courtyard, a few apricot and peach trees were blooming. The wind carried a faint fragrance, making his mood slightly better.
“Yuan Yuan, help hang the clothes—”
He turned around.
And froze completely.
A hand—long, well-defined fingers—had already taken the clothes from him and neatly hung them on the drying rope.
Shi Wuxiang.
Yuan Zhao stared at him blankly.
He did not run.
He only looked shocked.
As if he couldn’t believe the person standing here was real.
Shi Wuxiang quietly finished hanging every piece of clothing, poured out the basin of water, and even tidied the courtyard as if it were second nature.
“…Are you here to work?” Yuan Zhao finally asked.
“Come home with me,” Shi Wuxiang said.
“That’s not appropriate,” Yuan Zhao shook his head obediently. “We’re no longer husband and wife. You can’t come looking for me anymore.”
Shi Wuxiang laughed.
It was a laugh forced from anger.
“You don’t get to decide that. You didn’t divorce me—you ran away!”
“I can’t divorce you… only you can divorce me,” Yuan Zhao blinked. “Are you here to give me a divorce letter?”
Shi Wuxiang felt like he might actually faint from rage.
Why was this so difficult?
He must be saying it wrong.
“I’m here to take you home. Not to give you a divorce letter. There’s a misunderstanding. Come back with me first. I’ll explain everything slowly. If you think it’s wrong, I’ll explain again. Is that okay?”
“Yuan Zhao, is something wrong?” a neighbor’s voice called from outside.
“I’m fine! We were just talking loudly!” Yuan Zhao hurriedly replied.
Shi Wuxiang narrowed his eyes.
“Brother?”
Yuan Zhao’s face flushed instantly.
“You’re talking nonsense again! You’re disturbing the neighbors!”
Shi Wuxiang suddenly swayed slightly, as if about to fall.
Yuan Zhao instinctively caught him.
“What’s wrong with you?” he asked in alarm.
Shi Wuxiang coughed violently.
“I haven’t eaten or slept since yesterday… Mother said if I can’t bring you back, I can die outside…”
Yuan Zhao immediately panicked.
“Stop talking. I’ll cook for you.”
“Forget it… you don’t want to be my husband anymore…”
Yuan Zhao’s nose stung.
He went to cook.
Shi Wuxiang sat quietly.
And then, after finally eating something warm, he spoke:
“I didn’t take a concubine. Miss Tao was chosen for Shi Qingyue. You even saw it yourself when we went to the matchmaking visit.”
One sentence blocked everything Yuan Zhao was about to say.
He was indeed brooding over the matter of taking a concubine. He hadn’t done anything himself, yet already a beautiful girl had been brought in. Of course he was afraid.
But—but it was actually for A Yue to be matched?
Yuan Zhao felt a moment of joy in his heart, but quickly returned to normal. Even if this time it wasn’t about taking a concubine for A Xiang, there would always be a time for him to take one. After all these years, he and him had only held hands and embraced; this was clearly not what a normal man should be like.
If it were a beautiful girl, A Xiang would definitely not be like this. He was clearly restraining his body while waiting for the person he liked.
“Alright, this matter is my fault. I misunderstood. I understand now. You can go back.” Yuan Zhao said softly, “I already wrote it very clearly in my heart. Even without this matter, we are still not suitable.”
Shi Wuxiang rarely heard him say “suitable.”
He touched the teacup, “Can you help me pour a cup of cold water? Best if it’s well water.”
He was afraid this troublesome thing would say something even more shocking later, and he might really pass out from anger.
Yuan Zhao didn’t understand, but still went to the courtyard to draw a bucket in, poured it into the teapot, then poured it into the teacup.
Under Yuan Zhao’s worried gaze, Shi Wuxiang drank it down in big gulps. The cool well water instantly extinguished part of his anger. He asked in a good-tempered way, “In your eyes, what counts as suitable?”
What counts as suitable?
Yuan Zhao originally wanted to say that Miss Tao was very suitable, but thinking that Miss Tao was now interacting with A Yue, it didn’t feel appropriate to say that, so he did not give an example.
“Someone like you, who is good, has elders, has younger siblings, can read and write, and is skilled in qin, chess, calligraphy, and painting… That’s what storybooks all say. A scholar’s proper match should be such a good girl.”
“Maybe so.” Shi Wuxiang responded lightly, “But you cannot use answers from storybooks to confine me. I am a living person, not a character in the many storybooks you have read. You must allow me not to like those ‘good girls’. You must allow me to have different choices.”
Yuan Zhao again didn’t know what to say. No matter what he said, A Xiang always had so many words waiting for him. Then what was the meaning of him speaking?
A Xiang didn’t seem as gentle as before. Clearly it was only one day apart, yet he felt completely different. Probably because he was no longer his husband.
“I don’t know what you actually want to do. If you want me to go back, I’ve already said it—I have done what I promised you. Whether you remarry or take concubines, it has nothing to do with me anymore.” Yuan Zhao lowered his eyes and picked at the hangnail on his finger, as if he did not feel the pain.
Shi Wuxiang directly scooped a ladle of well water and drank it, then quickly grabbed his hand that was picking at itself and wrapped it with the gauze he carried.
He said somewhat helplessly, “Why do you have to say things against your heart? You are already picking at your hangnail until it hurts. One day without taking care of you and your fingers already grow hangnails again. How can I feel at ease letting you and Yuan Ge’er stay here without going home?”
“I will pay attention in the future. These are all small matters, no need for you to worry.” Yuan Zhao’s thoughts were quickly drawn away, following his words.
“How can I not worry?” Shi Wuxiang held his hand and gently blew on it, “Everything I said before, you didn’t take a single word to heart, you are always planning to leave. Do you not like me anymore?”
How could he not like him?
It was precisely because he liked him too much that he felt unworthy.
Seeing him not speak, Shi Wuxiang continued on his own, “I already said before, as long as you are willing, you can stay at home forever. The three-year thing, just treat it as if I never said it… Alright, even if you think those were just excuses I used to comfort you, but you accepted my pair of arm bangles, and you even kissed me, how can you not take responsibility?”
Ki-kissed?
Yuan Zhao subconsciously touched his lips. The bracelets on his wrists jingled twice with his movement. How could something he didn’t even remember count as having happened?
“You got drunk several times and asked to kiss me. If I refused, you would make a fuss. I only thought you were willing to spend your life with me. It turns out I was deceived.” Shi Wuxiang sighed sadly, as if deeply hurt, even coughing, “Forget it, I will just let myself die here.”
Yuan Zhao originally still felt a bit guilty, since he indeed didn’t remember clearly, but the more he spoke, the more outrageous it became.
He slightly frowned, “You still want to die here?”
“Are you chasing me away?” Shi Wuxiang coughed even harder, looking like his heart was broken beyond repair.
Yuan Zhao was completely dazzled.
But he quickly reacted, shaking his head hard, trying to shake out the water in his head.
“A Xiang, stop pretending.”
“Even without the matter of concubines, we are still not suitable. You always say one must be honest and trustworthy. I am not honest, nor have I kept promises, but I have already admitted my mistake. You cannot keep bullying me like this.”
“You are just not used to someone who was always by your side suddenly leaving, but you are very capable. You will get used to it quickly.”
Shi Wuxiang listened quietly. Although he was very unwilling to admit it, gentle persuasion had no use for someone like this who easily shrinks back. It would only push him further away.
Yuan Zhao spoke very gently for his feelings, and he could hear it. On the surface Yuan Zhao blamed himself in every sentence, but in reality it was all insecurity.
Because he did not clearly express his feelings, he made him think he was not chosen.
“Sorry.” Shi Wuxiang said softly.
This apology was sincere, even carrying caution and humility.
Yuan Zhao suddenly looked at him, eyes red with strands of anger.
Shi Wuxiang continued, “It was I who did not make things clear. In the past I could not accept you being a young ge’er, but after three years together I have already accepted it. You are already eighteen. These two conditions can no longer bind me, so I stepped forward.”
“You keep saying I don’t like you, but you have not yet understood the poem I once read to you. How can you make conclusions on your own?”
‘How can I express longing? The pair of bangles in my wrist’—this comes from a betrothal poem, expressing my feelings for you.”
“Yuan Zhao, I struggled and hesitated before, and tried my best to persuade myself, but in the end I could not resist my feelings for you. I am not unwilling because you suddenly left home; it is only because of my love for you that I was timid and indirect. Please forgive my cowardly hesitation, please come home with me.”
People are truly strange.
He had seen so many beautiful and interesting suitors, yet he ended up liking this kind of coward who was playful and even ran away. If only he had asked one more question…
Yuan Zhao stared blankly at him, eyes filled with tears, but he refused to listen anymore.
“You leave. I don’t want to hear this.”
Shi Wuxiang was completely stunned. Yuan Zhao’s feelings for him were something he naturally understood. The misunderstanding had already been cleared up, so why was it still like this?
“A Zhao?” Shi Wuxiang couldn’t help but step forward and grab his wrist, looking down at the person crying, “Even while crying like this you still want me to leave. How could I bear it?”
“I don’t want to hear this. You cannot like me. You should hate me instead!”
Yuan Zhao finally couldn’t hold back and shouted. He pushed Shi Wuxiang back step by step, but the latter still pressed forward without retreating.
“I am a liar who only knows how to lie. I am also very stupid, cannot read or write. Just one line of poetry from you can trap me for two years. I simply cannot learn these things. You cannot like me!”
How could he like someone like this?
In Yuan Zhao’s eyes, Shi Wuxiang was the best man in the world and should be matched with the best woman. His wife should be someone like those in storybooks—perfect in qin, chess, calligraphy, and painting.
It should never be someone like him.
Only now did Yuan Zhao realize how conflicted he was. He longed for Shi Wuxiang’s love, but when the other truly said he liked him, he became afraid and inferior.
Shi Wuxiang actually felt relieved seeing him like this.
“Of course I can.”
Those simple words were firm and unshakable.
Shi Wuxiang pulled him back into his arms again, holding him tightly so that their chests pressed together. He said softly, “You don’t need to be afraid. You always think I am so good, but in my eyes you are the same as me—you are also extremely good. The girls you mentioned are indeed good, but there will also be equally good men to match them. But I only want you. I only need you.”
He even hated himself for being emotionally clumsy, for not being able to say more beautiful words.
But all his heart-stirring feelings were given by the person in front of him. They were simply made for each other.
“How could you be bad? Mother praises you every day, A Yue always talks about you, Ranran cannot leave you, and even the people in town and regular customers praise you endlessly. You are liked by so many people—how could you be bad?”
He understood his awkwardness, understood his fear, and understood his hesitation, so he had to use many people to convince him that he was already very good, that many people liked him.
“Really?” Yuan Zhao was somewhat dazed, still unable to believe it.
“Of course it’s true. When have I ever lied to you?” Shi Wuxiang felt him loosen up and quietly breathed a sigh of relief.
Yuan Zhao lowered his eyes and did not look at him.
“You said you never had the idea of marrying a ge’er. You also drove me away. You just don’t like me at all. How could it suddenly change? You’re just trying to coax me back so I can serve you.”
Shi Wuxiang: “………………”
He had truly shot himself in the foot.
“…Hasn’t that already been put behind us? Those words I said, you should just treat them as if I never said them. I even slapped myself back then. You only remember this?” Shi Wuxiang almost sounded like he was about to cry. “And serve me? Do you really think I make you serve me? Does your conscience not hurt saying that? Even in the first year you were in my house, did I ever order you around to pour tea or bring water? Weren’t you the one insisting on doing it, and I still coaxed you when you overdid it?”
After he understood his feelings, he had even less willingness to let Yuan Zhao do any hard work. If Yuan Zhao had been willing to work in the shop, Shi Wuxiang already wished he could have placed him in a private room like an offering.
Pouring tea, bringing water, bathing him, wiping his back—how many of those things had Shi Wuxiang not done himself?
Of course, those were things he should do anyway, nothing worth bragging about, but to say he had been thinking of Yuan Zhao serving him was utter nonsense.
Yuan Zhao mumbled without speaking. After a long while, he squeezed out a sentence.
“What does… always discriminating… mean?”
Shi Wuxiang: “…………………………”
He finally couldn’t hold back and laughed out loud.
See?
Even at a moment like this—when he was being foolish and ruining the atmosphere—he still couldn’t bring himself to be angry. He only found him adorably stupid.
“It means something very bad. Did I ever order you around in a bad way?” Shi Wuxiang said.
“No…” Yuan Zhao followed along in agreement.
His head felt hazy now. Everything Shi Wuxiang said was pouring into his mind all at once, scrambling to take root deep inside him so he would never forget what was said at this moment.
So Yuan Zhao didn’t even know what he was saying anymore. He just nodded blankly.
So A Xiang actually liked him?
Although he had already sensed that Shi Wuxiang treated him differently, Shi Wuxiang himself was already a very good person, so Yuan Zhao never dared to think too much. He had assumed all of it was simply a husband’s duty.
But thinking more carefully—if Shi Wuxiang truly disliked someone, that person would probably already end up like the former Cui Xiu.
“A Xiang… do you really like me?”
“I like you. I also love you.” Shi Wuxiang, who had remained chaste across two lifetimes, suddenly saying something like this still made him a bit bashful—his ears turned red from embarrassment.
Yuan Zhao felt as if he were falling into clouds.
“But what do you like about me? I have nothing worth liking… I’m not good-looking, and I’m not smart…”
He truly could not understand it at all.
Shi Wuxiang, seeing his confusion, lifted both hands and held his face, forcing him to look at him.
“I like you. I don’t know what you are like in other people’s eyes, but in mine, you are bright and alive, clever and perceptive. Whether you are sensitive or fragile, whether you get moody or throw small tantrums—it’s all fine. What I like is the complete you, just as you like my so-called bad side.”
“You’re not bad at all… you’re very good…” Yuan Zhao mumbled, slightly aggrieved.
Even while still conflicted, he instinctively defended Shi Wuxiang.
“I don’t need you to erase everything from before. I just want you to remember what I’ve done for you.” Shi Wuxiang said softly.
He could swear he had never treated Yuan Zhao poorly.
Yuan Zhao gave a low “mm,” then shyly said, “I know you are good to me. I’m just a bit clumsy. I have to repeatedly confirm your words before I know they are real…”
Some things he only truly realized at this moment.
“But I do know you are good to me.”
“That’s my fault then. From now on I’ll often say nice things to reassure you. You don’t need to hold back anything. If you are unhappy, just say it directly. If I have to guess your thoughts, I might misunderstand you.”
He only hoped Yuan Zhao could be bolder—bolder still.
“You feel like I’m dreaming…” Yuan Zhao murmured.
But the next moment, his lips were touched—lightly pecked.
“Still think you’re dreaming?”
“Even more like it… kiss me again so I can confirm.”
Shi Wuxiang chuckled softly, then pinched his chin and kissed him again—firm yet gentle.
Their lips intertwined.
Yuan Zhao finally confirmed it.
He wasn’t dreaming.