Dai Wenliang walked out of the imperial palace with a saber at his waist.
He stood at the palace gates and pondered for a moment before walking over to a servant nearby, taking the reins from him, and mounting his horse.
He thought to himself that there were still quite a few things he had yet to arrange.
He had been the commander of the palace guards for nearly three years. As a military man, this was hardly anything more than a way to while away his time. Now that he finally had an opportunity to go to Lingnan to suppress the bandits, he had not hesitated and had volunteered himself, taking on this difficult assignment.
He thought that if he continued serving as a palace guard like this, he would probably spend the rest of his life in Zhaojing City.
He had been born in Zhaojing City. Less than two years after he was born, his father was wounded on the battlefield and lost the use of one leg, after which he took up a sinecure in the capital. His father’s position was then taken over by his elder brother.
As the youngest child born to the Dai family in his parents’ later years, he had always been treated with far more indulgence than usual. And so, he had spent all these years idly wasting away his time in the capital.
He had not left the capital even once in his more than twenty years of life. Now that he was suddenly about to leave, he was actually somewhat flustered.
The dozen or so pigeons he raised in his courtyard had to be handed over to a servant who knew how to care for them. The fine wine from Qibao Tower in the capital and the cooked beef from Shunxi House would surely be things he missed once he left, so he had to bring some along to eat on the road. And aside from selecting the soldiers and officers, he truly had no idea what else he should bring himself—he would have to ask Third Young Master Shu.
And he also had to bid farewell one by one to his group of spoiled friends in the capital. The Duke Dingguo’s General’s Residence was practically like a second home to him, so he certainly had to visit that family as well. Second Miss Xie had given birth to her second child, and the Xie family had specifically sent him an invitation to the baby’s one-month celebration. He did not even know whether he should go…
But that person—naturally, there was no need to see him.
He rode on horseback, deliberately thinking back and forth about all these things, refusing to think of that person.
Yet after all the tangled matters in his mind had passed through it, they were like a huge wave rolling across a beach. After the bustle, nothing remained.
Except that person, left all alone in his mind.
Indeed, he could not forget him.
He had once thought that this person was simply another one of his few scholarly friends, much like Third Young Master Shu. But only after everything had come to light and that person had finally disappeared without a trace did he suddenly realize that not all people were the same.
Like the endless cool breeze of summer. When it surrounded you, all you felt was refreshing comfort, yet you never noticed its existence. Only after the breeze had blown away did you suddenly realize how stifling the heat was, and begin longing for that breeze.
Third Young Master Shu had always been busy. Dai Wenliang knew that his heart was devoted to the welfare of the realm, so he did not often bother him. As for those colleagues and fellow spoiled young masters, although he seemed to have fun with them, they were merely people with whom he sought entertainment at gatherings. They could not truly be considered friends with whom he shared his heart.
But that young master he had met outside Third Young Master Shu’s residence, the one dressed simply yet possessing an innate elegance and bearing, was different.
Whenever he handled Dai Wenliang’s paperwork, he was meticulous in every detail, leaving no loopholes whatsoever. If there was ever some problem with provisions or personnel in the guards’ camp, he would certainly know if asked. As for all the brawls, fights, and social obligations, Dai Wenliang could never remember them clearly, yet that person remembered every one of them.
And in private, aside from occasionally going off to attend to his own affairs, he was always with Dai Wenliang. He had a good temper and loved to smile, and he was considerate even toward someone as absentminded and straightforward as Dai Wenliang. The two of them simply got along exceptionally well.
But… only later did Dai Wenliang discover what the “own affairs” that person went off to attend to actually were.
He had never imagined that Zhao Langzhi could smile and joke with him while secretly plotting for years to frame Shu Changyu.
He vaguely remembered that on the day Zhao Langzhi was about to eat his pigeons and give him all those instructions, he had asked him what he would do if something happened to Third Young Master Shu.
So it turned out… he had always planned everything from the beginning. His approaching Dai Wenliang in the first place had been for Shu Changyu’s sake.
And all these years of friendship with him had never been sincere.
When Shu Changyu laid all the facts before him, Dai Wenliang felt a dull ache in his heart. He could not say whether this pain came from his friend’s betrayal or from something else, but he vaguely felt that it could not be explained so simply.
“I will definitely kill this person,” Shu Changyu had told him at the time. “For the sake of the three years he spent handling your paperwork, I’m telling you in advance.”
The moment Shu Changyu finished saying the word “kill,” Dai Wenliang felt a thunderclap explode inside his mind.
In an instant, all the details of their interactions over the years appeared in his mind. Things that had happened and which he had forgotten immediately afterward now came flooding back with startling clarity.
Dai Wenliang thought to himself: How could he be that kind of person?
Although he had done so many wrong things, before everything was exposed, he had actually told Dai Wenliang everything, clearly wanting to reduce the price he would have to pay as much as possible.
He had been determined to harm Shu Changyu, but… there was absolutely no reason for it.
He had remained close friends with Dai Wenliang while secretly committing such heinous acts.
Dai Wenliang’s head felt dizzy and muddled, as though he were in a dream.
Zhao Langzhi… was going to die?
Instinctively, even though that person had deceived him so much, Dai Wenliang did not want him to die.
But that person had clearly intended to harm Shu Changyu. Now Shu Changyu wanted to kill him. What position did Dai Wenliang have to ask Shu Changyu to spare someone who wanted to kill him?
…Zhao Langzhi was going to die.
“…Wenliang? What’s wrong?”
At that moment, he heard Shu Changyu call out to him. He looked up, but he could no longer see Shu Changyu’s face clearly.
At some point, his vision had become blurred with tears.
Shu Changyu raised a hand and wiped his eyes for him, his brows furrowing with concern.
“Guangting… isn’t that kind of person.” Dai Wenliang’s voice was barely audible.
“…Who is Guangting?”
“…Zhao Langzhi.”
Shu Changyu frowned. “You don’t know the grudge between us.”
At this moment, Dai Wenliang’s mind was a complete mess. All he could think was that Zhao Langzhi was going to die.
He was a full seven-foot-tall man, and he was ashamed to shed tears. Yet now his lips trembled and he could not say a word. He clenched his fists and stood before Shu Changyu, biting his teeth together so tightly that not a sound escaped him.
He was going to die, and the evidence laid out before Dai Wenliang told him—he deserved to die.
Shu Changyu sighed.
“I told you long ago to keep a careful eye on him. How did you end up becoming so close to him? I suspected him the first time I saw him. He was clearly…”
Shu Changyu stopped there.
He could not tell Dai Wenliang about his rebirth and everything related to it.
But when he saw that Dai Wenliang remained silent for a long time, he eventually watched as the other man’s lips trembled and he asked,
“What kind of grudge could there be that would make him determined to kill you?”
Dai Wenliang said nothing, but Shu Changyu could already tell that he did not want Zhao Langzhi to die.
When Shu Changyu had told him the truth earlier, he had seen Dai Wenliang’s expression become increasingly strange. The moment he heard that Shu Changyu intended to kill Zhao Langzhi, Dai Wenliang’s eyes had immediately turned red.
Shu Changyu sighed inwardly.
Zhao Langzhi was not innocent, but Dai Wenliang was ultimately innocent.
When all was said and done, these were grievances from a previous life. What Zhao Langzhi had done could also be said to be the consequences of causes planted in that previous life.
Shu Changyu had hardened his heart long ago.
But seeing Dai Wenliang like this, he began to hesitate.
From childhood until now, he had rarely seen Dai Wenliang cry. The last time he had shed tears was when he was six years old, after he had angered his teacher from the Hanlin Academy and driven him away, causing his father to hang him up inside the house and beat him.
Just then, he heard Dai Wenliang ask in a trembling voice,
“Jingchen… I know I shouldn’t ask you this, but… can he not die?”
Shu Changyu: “……”
Fine. There was no helping it.
After all, this man was practically his half-brother. Zhao Langzhi would not be able to cause any trouble under his watch no matter how capable he was.
So be it.
——
Thus, ever since Shu Changyu had told him that he could spare Zhao Langzhi’s life, but that Zhao Langzhi was never again allowed to appear before him, Dai Wenliang himself had not seen Zhao Langzhi again.
The day he went to the military camp to collect Zhao Langzhi, the man was already gone.
Whenever Dai Wenliang thought back to that scene, his heart hurt with a fine, continuous ache, as though pricked by countless needles.
Indeed.
He had finished doing what he wanted to do, and then he did not even want this friend of his anymore.
Thinking this as he walked, Dai Wenliang somehow wandered to the entrance of that brothel in Chunshui Alley.
The apricot blossom wine there was particularly delicious. Three years ago, he had come here once with Shu Changyu.
At that time, his heart had still been set on Miss Xie, and he had been too hesitant to dare enter. Now Second Miss Xie already had two children, while he stood alone once more in front of this brothel.
But what appeared in his mind at this moment was not Miss Xie.
It was—
Zhao Langzhi.
Dai Wenliang was startled by the thought that had appeared in his own mind.
After his initial shock, his already gloomy mood, stirred into turmoil by Zhao Langzhi’s past, became even gloomier.
A situation like this called for getting drunk.
Dai Wenliang simply entered the brothel and even sat in the same private room where he and Shu Changyu had sat the last time they came.
He did not even ask for a girl to play the qin or sing for him. Seeing the madam’s displeased expression, he ordered several more jars of apricot blossom wine and gave her some additional silver as a tip.
Only then was the madam satisfied and left, leaving him alone with a jar of wine.
The sounds of silk and bamboo instruments and laughter outside drifted continuously through the window, sounding both alluring and lively.
Yet Dai Wenliang was completely alone. He did not even have a moon to keep him company, as in the saying about one’s shadow making three companions.
He thought to himself that if Zhao Langzhi were here, things would naturally be different.
If he suggested coming to the brothel to drink, Zhao Langzhi would certainly disapprove and nag him a few times, but he would definitely…
Why was he thinking of him again?
Dai Wenliang unhappily pressed his lips together, then raised his hand and broke the clay seal on one of the wine jars, filling his cup to the brim.
As expected, Dai Wenliang, already weighed down by sorrow, drank himself into a stupor.
And naturally, in his drunken state, he did not hear the whispers outside the door.
“This gentleman came alone, and he’s so generous with his money. How can he drink by himself without anyone keeping him company?”
“Mistress is right. A man may say he doesn’t want anyone accompanying him, but once someone actually goes in to accompany him, things will be completely different.”
“Good that you understand. This gentleman is young and handsome, and his clothes are so fine. Serve him well, and you certainly won’t be lacking your reward.”
“Don’t worry, Mama… Ow!”
Just then, the young woman at the door was suddenly yanked aside.
The madam took a closer look and saw that the person who had pulled her away was a tall young master dressed in blue.
That young master had arrived not long after the gentleman before him. He had not entered a private room, but instead sat in the main hall directly facing this room. He was also drinking apricot blossom wine, had not ordered a girl, and had merely said that he would wait.
Now it seemed—
This young master had actually come here to lie in wait for someone?
Their brothel did not charge high prices and rarely saw powerful or noble guests. However, their specially brewed apricot blossom wine attracted quite a few people who came specifically to taste it.
Whenever someone came for the wine, the madam always kept a careful eye on them. She certainly did not dare provoke them.
She could only bow meekly and pull the young woman away.
The man had a cold expression. He lowered his eyes and watched the two women leave before pushing open the door and walking inside.
That bearing and those features belonged to none other than Zhao Langzhi, who had disappeared for several months.
When he pushed open the door, a gentle breeze from outside flowed toward him, carrying the clear sweetness of osmanthus mingled with the fragrance of wine.
Dai Wenliang was already sitting at the table with drunken, hazy eyes, a wine cup in his hand, his body swaying as though he were about to topple over.
After three years together, Zhao Langzhi naturally knew his habits.
Although Dai Wenliang usually enjoyed drinking, he was not a heavy drinker. At most, when drinking with others and getting caught up in the mood, he would have a few extra cups before stopping once he was slightly tipsy.
But whenever he was in a bad mood, he was accustomed to drowning his sorrows in alcohol, and no one could stop him.
At this moment, he was already on the verge of becoming completely unconscious.
Zhao Langzhi did not know why he was so upset.
He had promised that he would no longer appear before Shu Changyu.
But the hidden feelings he held for Dai Wenliang, together with his overwhelming guilt, made him afraid to face Dai Wenliang again.
Dai Wenliang was naturally the most innocent and kind-hearted of all.
After the things he had done were exposed by Shu Changyu, his first instinct had been to avoid letting Dai Wenliang see him.
For the first time in his life, he was afraid.
Afraid that Dai Wenliang would look at him with disappointment.
And Shu Changyu’s words, “For Dai Wenliang’s sake,” had struck him even harder.
For Dai Wenliang’s sake…
What virtue or ability did he possess to rely on Dai Wenliang’s face and pick up his life again?
He had not wanted to live in the first place. He was merely clinging to life, and even more unwilling to face Dai Wenliang.
Thus, when Shu Changyu left at the time, he had also departed on his own.
He had not gone far, merely living in seclusion within Zhaojing City.
Therefore, Zhao Langzhi had repeatedly tried to obtain news of Dai Wenliang by asking the officers responsible for the city’s defenses, yet he had never managed to hear anything about him.
Instead, Zhao Langzhi secretly watched Dai Wenliang’s movements and life from the shadows.
He still had some connections in the capital, and now he used every one of them on Dai Wenliang.
He himself did not know why he was doing this.
And after learning the truth, aside from initially asking the officers responsible for Zhaojing City’s defenses to keep an eye on those leaving the city, Dai Wenliang’s life surprisingly underwent no particular changes.
He continued raising his pigeons. He continued drinking and eating meat with his friends. Whenever he was supposed to visit the General’s Residence, he still went.
That person had come and then left, as though he had not left even the slightest trace behind.
Zhao Langzhi’s heart ached dully.
He could only feel that he had been the one making a fool of himself.
Or perhaps the wrongs he had committed were simply impossible to make amends for. What he was experiencing now was merely the consequence of his own actions.
Naturally, he never imagined that Dai Wenliang was merely carefully hiding all his emotions after enduring pain that could not be spoken of.
He knew that he should not continue watching Dai Wenliang like a shadow, secretly observing his every move.
Yet today, he had once again habitually followed him to Chunshui Alley and watched his tightly closed door.
And precisely because of this, he happened to stop that scheming madam.
Now, looking at Dai Wenliang drunk and collapsed over the table, he sighed inwardly.
What was he upset about?
Now that everything had settled, he was about to lead troops into battle, with a boundless future ahead of him.
What he was worried about… was probably that precious cage of pigeons.
Just then, he heard Dai Wenliang’s drunken murmur.
“Zhao Guangting… bastard.”
Zhao Langzhi’s pupils suddenly contracted.
For an instant, he thought Dai Wenliang had discovered that he was here.
Then he realized—
Dai Wenliang was merely talking drunken nonsense.
His heart tightened.
“…Wenliang?”
He knew he should not, yet he could not stop himself from calling out.
Dai Wenliang vaguely heard someone calling his name. He hazily opened his eyes and looked straight at Zhao Langzhi.
Zhao Langzhi suddenly panicked and was just about to move away, but then he found himself staring directly into Dai Wenliang’s eyes.
There was none of the disgust or suspicion he had imagined.
Instead, there was overwhelming exhaustion and grievance.
For the past several months, all Zhao Langzhi had seen was Dai Wenliang’s tall, straight back and his smiling face from afar. He had never looked directly into his eyes.
And now he actually…
“Zhao Langzhi?!”
Dai Wenliang suddenly jolted in surprise and sprang up.
His legs were somewhat unsteady from the alcohol. As he stood, he accidentally caught himself against the table, then fell toward the side—
Zhao Langzhi rushed forward and caught him.
The instant he gathered Dai Wenliang into his arms, the emotions that had been hazily tangled together in Zhao Langzhi’s heart for who knew how long suddenly became clear.
His hesitation at the time, his compromise afterward, and then his avoidance—
They had all been because…
At some point, he had developed feelings for the person before him that were neither those of a friend nor those of a brother.
He was in love with him.
“Zhao Langzhi…”
Dai Wenliang stared at him intently, his drunken voice carrying a nasal quality.
“Where did you go? Why did you just leave like that?”
As he said this, he sniffled.
“I…”
“For these three years, what did you take me for?”
Dai Wenliang’s drunken eyes were hazy as he spoke with a thick tongue.
“You did what you wanted to do, and then you left. You didn’t even leave me a single word! Zhao Langzhi, you… bastard.”
At this point, he unhappily pursed his lips.
“If you really were using me, you could have told me from the start. Then I wouldn’t have had to… wouldn’t have had to…”
Taking advantage of his drunkenness, his eyes once again reddened with grievance.
Military men were not good with words. In the past, whenever they could not express themselves, they simply used their fists.
But now that he could not use his fists, the military man could not explain his feelings either. All he could feel was grievance, until even tears had been forced from his eyes.
Zhao Langzhi could not help softening his voice.
“No… that’s not it. I never intended to leave just like that. I was only afraid that you would despise me.”
Dai Wenliang only heard the first half of his words and immediately became anxious.
“If you never intended to leave, then stay.”
Zhao Langzhi held him in his arms, looking at him from such a close distance that for a moment, he could not speak.
“Did you hear me?” Dai Wenliang asked anxiously. “You said you didn’t intend to leave, so you can’t lie to me.”
“All right. But… Wenliang, if I stay this time, I won’t be able to interact with you the way I did before.”
“I don’t care how you interact with me. In any case, you’re not allowed to leave again.”
“…All right.”
Amid the haze of drunkenness, Dai Wenliang’s lips were soft and moist.
In a daze, it was as though he had fallen into a dream where apricot blossoms bloomed everywhere.
Author’s Note:
…Sob, sob. I’m a little reluctant to let go. I really… really love my Chancellor and Mu-mu in this book!
Thank you to my two sons and all my little angels for accompanying me along the way. As a newcomer writer, there are still many things in this book that could have been better. I see all the problems, but I truly love these two, and I truly love all of you too, qwq.
I’ve always felt that reading and writing are a spiritual exchange between an author and their readers. The process of writing is certainly lonely, but the characters beneath my pen and all of you who read their stories make me feel that this loneliness is a kind of enjoyment. w
So!! I’m declaring my love for all my little angels!!
I’ll be giving out red envelopes in the comments tomorrow, hehe~
Anyway, this book ends here!
If fate allows, I’ll see you all in the next one~
The subsequent modern-day bonus chapters will be opened separately tomorrow. For all the dears who want to continue reading, remember to follow the author’s column!
Let me throw flowers for myself!!!!
The End