After closing the office door, Ren Yi pointed at the chair. “Sit.”
The two of them sat facing each other across the desk, and Ren Yi looked at Li Sa.
Li Sa had an open, straightforward personality and was a little boyish. As the only woman in the station, she had not encountered much obvious resistance when integrating into the team. This allowed Ren Yi, who had initially been worried and uncertain, to relax considerably.
But what had happened this time had probably affected her quite a bit.
Before Ren Yi could speak, Li Sa spoke first.
“Captain Ren, the instructor already talked to me, and I’ve also undergone psychological counseling. There’s really no need to make such a big deal out of it. I’m fine.”
“Looking after your physical and mental health is our responsibility. I don’t think there’s anything ‘exaggerated’ about it. You shouldn’t have been the one taking that risk under those circumstances, and what happened afterward also made the instructor and me very worried about you.” Ren Yi stared at Li Sa. “Anyone can tell that you’re not in a good state. I don’t want you to brush me off with a single ‘I’m fine.’”
Li Sa lowered her head and fiddled with her fingers without saying anything.
Ren Yi asked, “Did the way he died frighten you?”
That scene had been far too bloody. It truly wasn’t something an ordinary person could easily process.
But Li Sa shook her head decisively.
“I served in a fire station for two years before. I’ve seen everything I needed to see. I’m not afraid.”
“Then what are you thinking about?”
Li Sa fell silent again.
Ren Yi patiently waited.
After a long while, Li Sa spoke.
“Captain Ren, the first time you saw someone die right in front of you, what happened?”
She explained, “I don’t mean someone who died after resuscitation failed, or someone who was already dead when you arrived at the scene. I mean… someone like him. Someone who was alive one second, and then the next…”
This time it was Ren Yi who fell silent.
After a while, he said, “It was my second year after joining the station. I had just been allowed to enter fire scenes.”
Even now, he could remember what happened back then with astonishing clarity.
“There was a fire in a residential complex. When we arrived, someone was calling for help from a fifth-floor balcony. It was a middle-aged woman, about my mother’s age. She was trapped inside the security bars and couldn’t escape. The fire had already reached her body. She kept screaming. She kept calling for help.”
Li Sa held her breath as she listened.
“The captain led us up. We moved as quickly as we possibly could. We raised the aerial ladder, sprayed dry powder, and worked on cutting through the security bars. Through the bars, that woman grabbed the captain’s sleeve and begged us to save her. By then, her skin had already begun to char, and her hair was on fire. We wished we could tear the security bars apart with our bare hands, but in the end…” Ren Yi’s gaze darkened. “She died right in front of us.”
Li Sa trembled slightly.
“That… isn’t the same. That woman was pitiful, but Lü Boqing was a murderer.”
“I know you’d say that. But you weren’t indifferent to his death simply because he deserved to die, were you?”
Li Sa pressed her lips together and gently nodded.
“Just as I thought. You aren’t the only person troubled by these feelings. In fact, it proves that you’re becoming a qualified firefighter.”
Li Sa looked at Ren Yi in confusion.
Ren Yi said seriously, “Firefighters face life and death every day. When someone needs us to rescue them, we never consider whether that person is innocent or guilty. The only thing we consider is how to save them. Although this time we weren’t trying to save Lü Boqing, but to stop him from hurting others, having reverence for life and compassion for our fellow human beings is precisely one of the qualities a firefighter should possess most.”
Li Sa froze.
Ren Yi said softly, “When a living person dies right before your eyes, if he’s a good person, you’ll feel guilty and suffer because you failed to save him. If he’s a bad person, you may not even be able to give yourself enough reason to mourn him. Yet you still feel sorrow.
“What you’re grieving is the passing of a life. It has nothing to do with who that person was. That’s a completely normal emotion. You don’t need to torment yourself over it.”
Li Sa sucked in a breath, and the exhalation that followed was visibly trembling.
“Captain Ren, how did you know what I was thinking?”
Ren Yi gave a faint smile but didn’t answer.
Almost every kind of suffering a firefighter had to endure, he had experienced himself.
Which veteran firefighter had never cried bitterly at night because they had been powerless to save someone?
Li Sa wiped her face. After remaining silent for a long time, she finally smiled awkwardly.
“I’m also trying to work through it. I’ll be fine in a few days.”
“If there’s anything else weighing on you, come talk to me anytime. The instructor may be smart and have a way with words, but the instructor doesn’t go to the front lines. He doesn’t understand the soldiers’ psychology as well as I do.” Ren Yi winked at Li Sa.
Li Sa smiled and nodded.
“Oh, and according to my experience, you’ll probably receive a commendation for this. Wait for the brigade’s decision.”
“I really don’t care whether I get one or not.” Li Sa said frankly. “If they really want to reward me, there’s something I want. You’ve always known what it is, Captain Ren.”
Ren Yi stared at her.
“Li Sa, can you tell me why you want so badly to be a frontline soldier? At first, I thought you were only doing this as a transition before becoming an officer. You have the qualifications to become one. But I’ve noticed that you’re excessively determined to go to the front line. That kind of determination isn’t necessarily a good thing.”
Li Sa met Ren Yi’s gaze. Her eyes were resolute and calm.
Suddenly, she stood up and took off her jacket.
When she began removing her sweater, Ren Yi froze.
“Hey, you…”
Li Sa swiftly pulled off her sweater, revealing a fitted tank top underneath.
Ren Yi’s expression darkened.
Li Sa turned around and showed Ren Yi the burned skin covering part of her back and shoulder.
Those ugly scars looked like monsters coiled around her body and sucking her blood. Against her delicate skin, they were even more shocking to behold.
Ren Yi was speechless for a long time.
Li Sa calmly put her clothes back on, saluted Ren Yi, and walked out.
Ren Yi slumped back into his chair and sighed.
Ren Yi took a shower and changed his clothes. He even deliberately styled his hair with some hair gel, just to make himself look more energetic.
Then he left the station and headed home.
It had only been a week or two since he’d last returned home, but Ren Yi felt as though a very long time had passed.
Perhaps too many things had happened during those days. So many that whenever he calmed down and thought about them, they seemed almost unbelievable, like scenes from a movie.
When he arrived home, the dining table was covered with dishes.
At a glance, everything was food he liked.
He had called the housekeeper ahead of time. After preparing the meal, she had already left.
It was actually already past the time his father normally ate dinner. Clearly, his father had been waiting for him.
When Ren Xiangrong saw Ren Yi, a flicker of emotion crossed his face, but he forcibly suppressed it and pretended to be angry.
“Weren’t you discharged today? Couldn’t you come home a little earlier?”
Ren Yi smiled.
“I went back to the station to take care of some things. I came home as soon as I finished. I was afraid I’d delay your dinner.”
Ren Xiangrong snorted.
“How’s your recovery?”
Ren Yi shook his arms and legs.
“Nothing wrong with me anymore. What’s carbon monoxide? I’m the son of an old firefighter. I had antibodies before I was even in Mom’s belly.”
Ren Xiangrong couldn’t help laughing.
“Stop talking nonsense.”
Ren Yi sat down at the table.
“Dad, let’s eat.”
During the meal, Ren Xiangrong asked about what had happened during the call-out.
Ordinary people had only seen the hospital’s first explosion in the news. The later incident, in which Lü Boqing took hostages, had not been allowed to be reported by the authorities because they were afraid of causing panic.
So Ren Yi did not tell Ren Xiangrong either, afraid it would make him worry even more.
After hearing what had happened, Ren Xiangrong was furious.
“These bastards are getting more and more brazen. Actually, strictly speaking, public security wasn’t nearly as good in the past as it is now, and there were more arsonists. But now there’s the internet. These psychopaths have actually found each other through the internet.”
“Yeah. That’s what the police are most troubled by right now. The police believe they’ve formed a religious organization.”
Ren Xiangrong frowned deeply.
“…A religious organization.”
“They worship fire and call burning people to death ‘purification.’ They’re completely insane. There are still many members of this organization hiding throughout the country, and they may have something to do with the Gong family case eighteen years ago.”
Ren Xiangrong was shocked.
“Really?”
Ren Yi nodded heavily.
“That’s why I was in such a hurry to ask you about what happened back then.”
“But I don’t think I helped much.” Ren Xiangrong shook his head. “I’m getting old and confused. I genuinely can’t remember clearly.”
“Dad, the incident reports you kept were already a huge help. I also obtained the records from back then from the brigade. If all these things hadn’t happened recently, we would’ve started investigating a long time ago.”
Ren Xiangrong’s expression became solemn.
“This is… a big deal.”
“Even without the Gong family case, this would still be a big deal. It’s just that the waters surrounding this Ya Xie Cult organization run even deeper now.”
Ren Yi put down his chopsticks.
“Dad, actually, there’s something else I wanted to discuss with you when I told you all this today.”
“Go ahead.”
“From the fire at Fourth Perspective Bar to the explosion at Hongwu Hospital, the several cases that have happened over these past few months have all been connected to this organization to some degree, and I was the one responding to all of them. Especially this time. I helped the police capture three of their people. I… I’m a little worried they’ll retaliate against me.”
Ren Yi didn’t dare tell his father that information about him and Gong Yingxian had already been posted on the Blazing Angel website. Before, he hadn’t realized how serious the situation was. Now, he couldn’t afford to ignore it.
When he was in college, he had taken some courses in criminal psychology related to arson.
Most pyromaniacs, in all likelihood, appeared relatively “cowardly”—male, introverted, with below-average physical fitness and personal ability. Poor success in courtship often led to sexual repression. Arson allowed them to experience the thrill of their own power being magnified through fire, while controlling fire made them feel powerful.
Just as Gong Yingxian had said, most pyromaniacs were cowards.
And when this type of person committed arson, it was usually not intended to kill people. Harm to people was merely a byproduct of the arson.
So at the beginning, they believed that pyromaniacs wouldn’t have the courage to challenge men who represented the traditional image of “tough guys,” such as police officers and firefighters. Besides, Beijing had such good public security that they hadn’t taken the threat particularly seriously.
But after what happened at Hongwu Hospital, Ren Yi was genuinely afraid.
Because the exposed home address belonged to the person most important to him.
Although most pyromaniacs were cowards, it couldn’t be denied that there were many much more dangerous types.
For example, people who used arson and then extinguished the fire to rescue others in order to satisfy a pathological heroic complex; people with antisocial personalities who enjoyed torturing and killing people with fire; and then, religious cults.
Originally, Lü Boqing should have fit the profile of a typical arsonist. His personality, background, and appearance all made him seem like someone with poor success in courtship.
But once someone had been indoctrinated by a religious cult, those profiles had to be discarded, because his behavior was no longer under his own control.
Therefore, Ren Yi said hesitantly,
“Dad, until the police take down this organization, I want to send you to live in a nursing home for a while.”