Chapter 34

Zhou Ziheng’s dazed expression became a form of forgiveness. Xia Xiqing boldly licked and kissed his ear, and for some reason, the desire in his heart felt like a raging fire, consuming his rationality entirely.

The faint scent of perfume lingering on his neck was suddenly released by the warmth, and the cool citrus aroma left Xia Xiqing feeling a bit disoriented. His wet, hot tongue moved down his neck without hesitation.

He shouldn’t be so impatient. Xia Xiqing knew that his chances of success were very low, but he was still clinging to a sliver of hope.

What if he didn’t resist…

Zhou Ziheng, who had suddenly snapped out of his trance after hearing Xia Xiqing call him “brother,” pushed Xia Xiqing away. “What are you doing?”

Xia Xiqing knew this would be the outcome; he knew it wouldn’t be that easy. The fire of desire that had been ignited burned fiercely, nearly severing his last remaining nerve. He watched as Zhou Ziheng stood up, leaning against the wall by the entrance. He kept telling himself that the best thing to do now was to know when to stop.

Know when to stop…

But at that moment, he refused to do so.

He stood up and pressed himself against Zhou Ziheng’s body, pinning him against the wall and kissing him without warning. He didn’t want to stop now, even if these actions would lead to severe consequences. Xia Xiqing didn’t care anymore.

Drinking poison to quench one’s thirst is better than looking at plums to quench one’s thirst.

At least he could drink it.

Thinking of this, Zhou Ziheng felt a dull pain in his chest. He grabbed Xia Xiqing’s hand and pushed him away forcefully, giving himself some breathing room.

“If you want to indulge your desires, go find your little lovers. They might already be lined up waiting for you.” Zhou Ziheng struggled to steady his breath, looking at him calmly.

“Zhou Ziheng, are you scared?” Xia Xiqing looked into his eyes and smiled gently, “If you’re afraid, we don’t have to go all the way the first time.”

His chest felt tight and painful.

He really didn’t want to continue.

He had never truly been in a relationship with anyone before, had no experience at all, but even so, he knew that this twisted relationship wasn’t love.

“I’m sorry, I’ve already said it—I’m not gay.” Zhou Ziheng furrowed his brows slightly, his hand gripping his wrist tightening unconsciously, “I don’t like men.”

Xia Xiqing chuckled softly, his hips pressed against Zhou Ziheng’s, “I know.” He turned his face slightly to look at Zhou Ziheng’s hand gripping his wrist, like a cold, icy handcuff restraining his next move. Xia Xiqing tilted his head, leaned toward his raised wrist, and extended his tongue to lick Zhou Ziheng’s tightly clenched fingers.

This action caught Zhou Ziheng off guard. His scalp tingled, and he panicked, releasing his grip. But Xia Xiqing grabbed his hand and pulled his fingers into his warm, wet mouth, his soft, slippery tongue licking and wrapping around them, pulling him deeper.

Tobacco and musk, citrus and cold spring water—completely different perfume scents mingled together, rough yet sensual.

Xia Xiqing pressed his chest against Zhou Ziheng’s chest even more boldly, pressing against the body that had fascinated him for so long. The sensation of a foreign object in his mouth made him feel both comfortable and uncomfortable. His other hand roamed wildly over Zhou Ziheng’s body, sometimes pulling on his hoodie, sometimes trying to find his other hand.

Zhou Ziheng felt like he was going mad, on the verge of becoming a madman like Xia Xiqing, driven solely by desire.

The scales in his mind were tilting violently.

It was at that moment that Xia Xiqing withdrew his wet fingers from his own mouth. His handsome face was shrouded in a silk-like sheen of sweat, born of desire. His crimson lips were equally wet, saliva flowing down from where the foreign object had been lodged, trickling all the way to his delicate jawline.

“Kiss me,” Xia Xiqing looked up at him, seeming to carry a hint of temptation and coquetry. Zhou Ziheng couldn’t decipher that gaze, but Xia Xiqing didn’t wait for him to understand—he leaned in and kissed him, lips grinding against lips, tongues twisting together. His words were muffled by the kiss, “I don’t like men… It doesn’t matter, as long as… as long as you don’t mind…”

He wanted to hold him. Hold Xia Xiqing. This疯狂 idea consumed Zhou Ziheng’s mind.

“Um… I know you’re not gay…” Xia Xiqing sucked on his lips, his voice sticky with soothing and hypnotic undertones, guiding Zhou Ziheng’s damp hand to rest on his waist. “It’s okay… it’s not like we’re dating… you don’t have to like me…”

The words spoken in the heat of the moment, carrying the hottest breath, felt like a bucket of cold water, dousing Zhou Ziheng from head to toe.

He reached out, gripped Xia Xiqing’s shoulders, and pushed him away firmly, leaving him no room to cling on again. He wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his hoodie and walked to the door, opening it.

Xia Xiqing, whose flames were burning brightly, felt confused. He looked at Zhou Ziheng in puzzlement, “Hey…”

“Go back.” Zhou Ziheng lowered his head slightly, his tone leaving no room for argument. “Please leave my house immediately.”

He didn’t know where he had gone wrong, but he had been so overwhelmed that he couldn’t think straight now. But no matter how confused he was, he could see that Zhou Ziheng had completely cooled down. It was impossible now. Having come this far, continuing to linger would only make things uglier. Xia Xiqing tugged at the knit sweater that had slipped off his shoulders and left Zhou Ziheng’s home in silence.

Hearing the sound of Zhou Ziheng closing the door, Xia Xiqing felt both annoyed and frustrated, standing there motionless.

It was so close to being within his grasp.

What went wrong?

For him, Zhou Ziheng’s stubbornness had exceeded his imagination. He did enjoy a challenge, but he also hoped to taste a little sweetness. Every time he thought he was about to succeed, he found himself accidentally stepping into a forbidden zone.

What exactly was Zhou Ziheng’s forbidden zone?

Xia Xiqing felt like he was going crazy, really going crazy.

He stared at the door to his own home, unwilling to approach it for a long time. He had been rejected again, and he didn’t want to return to that empty house, alone with his sense of failure, smoking all night like a gambler who had lost everything.

Since he wasn’t willing, there were always others who were, and they were willing to be manipulated.

Xia Xiqing wiped his mouth with his thumb and walked alone toward the elevator at the end of the hallway.

Zhou Ziheng, standing behind the door, remained in the same position as when he closed it, listening to his footsteps growing fainter and fainter. He wasn’t going home; he was going somewhere else now.

Zhou Ziheng felt completely drained, the opposite of how he had felt just moments ago. His heartbeat was slow and weak, as if he were suffering from a serious illness. These past few days, his emotions had been pulled in different directions, and he had begun to experience sweet illusions, but he had almost forgotten what this person’s true nature was.

He walked into the bathroom and drenched himself from head to toe, trying to wash away the lingering warmth and scent of Xia Xiqing.

All night long, Zhou Ziheng’s mind echoed with Xia Xiqing’s words. Lying in bed, he seemed to fall into dreams countless times, only to be pulled back to reality by his voice countless times.

In his dreams, Xia Xiqing’s handsome face spoke to him in a light, cloud-like tone.

“You haven’t fallen for me, have you?”

“I’m sorry, but my attraction to you ends here.”

Zhou Ziheng suddenly opened his eyes, covered in cold sweat, and stared blankly at the ceiling.

He had already anticipated the tragic outcome of falling for Xia Xiqing.

So it was still possible to back out now.

Xia Xiqing had originally planned to go to a bar, but as soon as he got on the road, he remembered that he was no longer someone who could casually go to nightclubs.

He pulled over to the side of the road and flipped through his phone contacts, trying to find someone who could let him stay the night, but he hesitated. He had never been in the habit of sleeping with his bed partners, so after each intimate encounter, he was always the one who left decisively.

[Xiqing: Are you asleep?]

He received a reply quickly.

[Chenchen: Not yet, I’m still writing. What’s up?]

He briefly explained to Xu Qichen, avoiding the details, without mentioning the reason. He just wanted to stay somewhere with people for the night. Xu Qichen didn’t ask further and simply told him to come over.

Xia Xiqing clung to Xu Qichen like a spoiled child, then turned his head and saw Xia Zhixu sitting on the carpet playing a game, wearing the same black pajamas as Xu Qichen.

He didn’t even look up, focusing intently on the TV screen. His face was both handsome and infuriating. “Why are you here so late? Don’t you have any sense of propriety as a single person?”

“What, are you so desperate that you won’t even give our Chenchen a night off?” Xia Xiqing retorted sharply. Seeing that Xu Qichen’s ears had turned red, he didn’t continue the topic and instead said to Xu Qichen in a sulky tone, “I’ll just stay for one night and leave tomorrow.”

Xia Zhixu didn’t notice that his tone was different from usual. He simply asked out of curiosity, “Aren’t you just burning through your money? Why don’t you stay at a hotel?”

Xia Xiqing didn’t want to say that he just wanted to find a place where there were people, as he didn’t want to be alone, which would make him look too pathetic. Xu Qichen, who had seen through the situation, patted Xia Xiqing on the shoulder. “Stay as long as you like. Go take a hot shower first; I’ve already filled the tub for you.”

“You’re too kind to him,” Xia Zhixu complained, throwing the controller on the ground. “I can’t play anymore.”

Xia Xiqing snorted and walked into the bathroom. As his limbs submerged in the hot water, he felt himself sinking back into that dizzying confusion. Zhou Ziheng’s face began to appear in his mind—the expression of someone on the verge of surrender, and the cold indifference of his final farewell.

It was strange. He had never been so obsessed with anyone before. Perhaps it was because Zhou Ziheng was more difficult to seduce than anyone he had ever met, or perhaps it was because he simply loved Zhou Ziheng’s appearance so much. He didn’t know why, but his desire to win Zhou Ziheng’s heart was greater than anything he had ever felt before.

But he also knew very well that wanting something didn’t mean he liked it.

It was merely a desire to conquer.

When Zhou Ziheng said he didn’t like men, he didn’t feel the slightest bit of sadness. Instead, he became a persuasive deceiver, trying to help Zhou Ziheng overcome his aversion to intimacy with men and convince him that love and sex could be separated.

Though he failed. But that was normal, after all, Zhou Ziheng was a person with moral purity, and they weren’t the same kind of people. Even if he wanted to drag this moral exemplar into the same muddy waters as himself, it would take time.

After taking a shower, Xia Xiqing emerged from the bathroom and happened to see Xia Zhixu holding Xu Qichen in his arms, grabbing his arm and playing a game together.

“Oh no, we collided! The right side!”

“It’s okay.”

“If I lose, I won’t sleep with you tonight. Hurry up, ah ah ah ah, I’m going to lose!”

“We won’t lose. Don’t panic.”

To be honest, this wasn’t the first time he’d seen such a scene, but for some reason, it felt especially poignant today, leaving his heart feeling hollow.

These two idiots had stumbled along for ten years and somehow ended up together. Xia Xiqing always thought it was a miracle, but he also knew that their hearts were pure and clean. Most importantly, they had liked each other from the very beginning. No matter how long the time or how far the distance, their feelings had never faded.

He walked alone to the guest room, lying on the bed while resisting the urge to smoke.

Miracles like this wouldn’t happen to him. If he shed this physical form, no one would ever fall for such a tainted soul.

This belief had been planted in him since childhood, and as he grew older, he became increasingly certain of it.

He had agreed to stay for one night, but Xia Xiqing ended up staying for nearly four days without any shame. If it weren’t for Jiang Yin calling him on Friday morning like he was trying to kill him, Xia Xiqing wouldn’t have wanted to leave. Xu Qichen was a good cook and easy to get along with. Although Xia Zhixu was a bit annoying, he also brought him a lot of fun, which was much better than being alone.

However, Jiang Yin reminded him that he had to fly to Shanghai on Saturday to record the program.

Due to his high popularity, the program crew arranged for all guests to take the same flight and stay at the same hotel to avoid any mishaps. Xia Xiqing didn’t reply at first. During those four days, he didn’t see Zhou Ziheng once, nor did he say a word to him.

He had originally intended to refuse Jiang Yin, but changed his mind before replying.

Zhou Ziheng hadn’t refused the program crew, so why was he so indecisive? It was just a matter of not getting any sleep, so why act like a deserter? He sent Jiang Yin a message in a roundabout way.

[Xia Xiqing: Zhou Ziheng is going too. Didn’t he say anything?]

After a while, he received a message from Jiang Yin.

[Jiang Yin: Of course he’s going. Only Chen Chen can’t make it this time because she has a tour in Japan. Zhou Ziheng just finished his exams, so he can record it.]

It seemed like he really hadn’t said anything.

He couldn’t quite figure Zhou Ziheng out.

In the afternoon, Xia Xiqing left Xu Qichen’s house and went straight to the airport, wearing the same clothes he had worn when he went to his house. However, he was not used to the lemon-scented laundry detergent in Xu Qichen’s house, and he sneezed repeatedly. In the end, he had to buy a mask to wear before going to the airport.

When he arrived at the airport, Xia Xiqing received a message from Shang Sirui. Just as he was about to reply, he heard someone calling his name. Xia Xiqing turned around and saw Shang Sirui wearing a red hoodie and a white baseball cap.

“It’s been a long time,” Shang Sirui said enthusiastically as he rushed over and hugged Xia Xiqing, burying his head in his neck with his eyes closed and starting to complain, “Ah, I’m so tired lately. I’ll tell you, I’ve been sleeping only three hours a day for more than three days…”

“You really live up to your nickname, ‘San San.’” Xia Xiqing noticed that he had changed his hair color from light brown to gray. “Did you dye your hair again?”

Shang Sui still had his head buried, and he hummed in response. “I’m making a comeback soon, so I changed my look. I tried out several colors a few days ago, and now I’ve finally decided on one.”

Sigh, Xia Xiqing patted his back. For some reason, seeing Shang Sirui reminded him of his own troublesome younger brother. “Being an idol isn’t easy.”

More and more fans gathered around them, most of them Shang Siru’s fans, with a few of Xia Xiqing and Zhou Ziheng’s fans mixed in. One young girl wearing a mask came up close and handed Xia Xiqing a small cake. “Xiqing Brother, please eat this.”

Xia Xiqing, who was being held by Shang Siru, politely reached out with both hands to take the gift from the fan. Although he was wearing a mask, his eyes were gently curved. “Thank you.”

Seeing that Xia Xiqing was in a good mood, the fan asked, “Xiqing, where’s Ziheng?”

A group of female fans around them laughed. Xia Xiqing replied gently, “I’m not sure either, but he should be here soon.”

“Why aren’t you with Zi Heng?”

“Xiqing, why don’t you go to P University?”

“That’s right, that’s right. We’ve been going to P University every day since that day, but you haven’t gone again.”

“We even went to the exhibition, thinking you’d come too, but the main exhibit was really amazing…”

The questions kept coming, like a tidal wave, and thinking about what happened that day, Xia Xiqing didn’t feel like talking. The frustration of being rejected made him unwilling to accept it. Shang Sirui sensed something. He lifted his head from Xia Xiqing’s shoulder and pulled down his mask a little. “Why doesn’t anyone care about me?”

The fans present were all amused by Shang Sirui.

“San San, you’re so cute.”

“We care about you, we care about you. San San’s mom loves you.”

Shang Sirui smiled and wrapped his arms around Xia Xiqing’s waist. “Don’t you think Shang Sirui and Xiqing are a good match? Why doesn’t anyone ship us?”

“Hahaha, is the main character forcing us to ship them?”

“Oh my god, can’t I ship them?”

“San San is so cute~”

How childish. Xia Xiqing reached out to cover Shang Sirui’s eyes and whispered gently, “Sleep, sleep. I’ll wake you up in a bit.” He then made a shushing gesture to the fans beside him who were about to scream, then wrapped one arm around Shang Sirui’s shoulder and gently tapped his shoulder with his fingers.

The fans dared not disturb Shang Sui, so they could only silently suppress their bursting fangirl hearts, taking疯狂 photos and疯狂 posting on Weibo, while whispering about switching CPs.

“Oh my god, Qing San is so red, I just want to climb the wall right now.”

“Really, Zi Heng and Xi Qing haven’t even hugged yet, but these two have already hugged each other so many times.”

“Qing San is just a best friend, there’s no CP vibe at all. Two bottoms together won’t be happy.”

“I’m not jumping ship. I’m waiting for Zhou Ziheng to take the lead.”

Perhaps this fan’s words were cursed, because Zhou Ziheng actually showed up. From a distance, he saw the two main characters surrounded by a crowd. Shang Sirui was hugging Xia Xiqing like a koala, while Xia Xiqing had his arm around his shoulder, looking gentle and calm.

Zhou Ziheng, dressed in black pants and a black leather jacket, had his hair loose, no styling, his long bangs almost covering his eyes, wearing only a pair of sunglasses, chewing gum with a cold expression as he walked over with long strides.

His physique and aura were simply too eye-catching.

“Holy crap, Ziheng is here.”

“My God, Ziheng looks so cool! The top male model in the entertainment industry!”

“What’s with this feeling of catching someone in the act?”

The eyes behind the sunglasses looked at Xia Xiqing and narrowed slightly. Xia Xiqing was wearing the same clothes as that night, and his car had not appeared in the garage for four days.

For four whole days, he hadn’t gone home, partying until now.

Zhou Ziheng sneered. He should have woken up sooner. He knew better than anyone what kind of person Xia Xiqing was, and he had almost fallen into his trap.

“Xiqing, Xiqing, Ziheng is here.”

Xia Xiqing, who was comforting Shang Sirui, also heard the fans’ discussions. He lifted his head, removed his mask, and looked through the crowd toward Zhou Ziheng.

He walked toward him leisurely in his dark brown military boots. Strangely enough, at first Xia Xiqing had been somewhat resistant to seeing this person, but now he only hoped that he would wear those boots to bed with him.

When their eyes met, Xia Xiqing curled the corners of his mouth into a fake yet beautiful smile.

“Long time no see, Ziheng.”

Zhou Ziheng chewed his gum twice and blew a small bubble.

With a pop, the air expanded violently, and the bubble burst in an instant.

He twisted the corner of his mouth, as if sending some kind of challenge signal.

“Long time no see.”

The brief intermission did nothing to dampen either party’s resolve. Like two reckless boxers returning to the ring, the flame ignited once more without hesitation.

What should they do? Neither seemed willing to stop, nor did either believe they would lose.