Shen Yuan had just finished showering and changed into his loungewear.
He felt deeply ashamed, yet couldn’t stop thinking about that man. The shame was intense, but the pleasure… oh, it had been too good. No wonder Prince Qin’s personal life was so chaotic—something about it really felt that good.
A knock came at the door.
Li Lin had come looking for him: “Bro, why didn’t you tell me when you got back? I didn’t sleep all night… I kept waiting for you, and you didn’t come home at all. I accidentally fell asleep just before dawn, and that’s when you returned, so I couldn’t see you right away.”
“Bro, are you still mad at me? I’m sorry! I won’t say things like that in anger anymore.”
“I won’t make things difficult for you.”
“Can you open the door so I can talk to you?”
As he spoke, he rapped on the door again: tap tap tap.
When did this usually cool-headed, stoic kid turn into such a chatterbox? Shen Yuan had indulged himself too much last night, and even now he found it hard to rein it back. He thought that maybe everyone had a little mischievous streak. Gently coaxing his little charge, Shen Yuan sometimes got so frustrated he wanted to scream; when he scolded him a little, Li Lin would immediately become obedient.
Annoyed, Shen Yuan finally opened the door and scolded him, “You’re too noisy.”
Li Lin squeezed inside: “Bro, let’s talk properly. I’m not mad at you anymore.”
Shen Yuan countered, “Weren’t you the one who didn’t want to talk? What’s there to discuss?”
He shifted uneasily, still conscious of the lingering, heady scent of last night, fearful someone might notice he had done shameful things with a stranger.
Li Lin plopped into his chair and sprawled: “Bro, why are you so angry? It’s been so long since I’ve seen you truly mad. The last time was when I argued with Dad and deliberately did poorly on tests…”
Shen Yuan had no mood to lecture anyone. He just wanted Li Lin out: “I’m not mad at you, alright? I’ve forgiven you. Do I have such a narrow mind? Okay, okay, you can leave now.”
Li Lin didn’t believe him: “You’re lying. You’re still mad.”
Shen Yuan sighed: “I really, truly am not. Really.”
Li Lin earnestly said, “I thought about it all night. I was too willful. Did I make things difficult for you? It was wrong of me; I didn’t consider your position.”
“I thought about it and I think you’re right.”
“I’ll see if that woman is good. If her character’s truly decent, I’ll accept her.”
“I won’t cause trouble out of spite anymore.”
Had this been yesterday, Shen Yuan might have entertained this conversation. But now, his mind was still tangled with memories of last night’s encounter, leaving no space for childish drama.
To get the little one out, Shen Yuan calmed himself and put his gentle mask back on: “It’s fine as long as you’ve understood.”
“I’m really not mad at you, Li Lin. You’ve annoyed me countless times growing up, and have I ever not forgiven you?”
“I drank a lot last night. My head still hurts. I want to sleep a bit more. You’re making it worse. Please, be quiet and let me rest.”
Li Lin finally realized he was causing trouble and quietly said, “Oh… okay, I won’t bother you. Rest well.”
At last, Shen Yuan managed to get this little rascal out of his room.
As Li Lin reached the door, he glanced back—and just by chance, saw a faint red mark on Shen Yuan’s neck. His eyes widened. He froze: “Bro, there’s a red mark on your neck.”
Shen Yuan, already tense, immediately realized Li Lin had spotted the hickey. It seemed to burn hotter as he recalled the man’s lips on his neck.
Blushing, Shen Yuan quickly muttered: “I got a mosquito bite last night. It itches. I’ll put on some medicine… You’re at it again, please, let me be. My head really hurts; I want to rest.”
He pushed Li Lin out, shut and locked the door, then checked the mirror. Wearing this crew-neck shirt, some marks were still visible. Only a turtleneck could hide them—but who wore turtlenecks in the middle of summer?
What to do? He had no experience with this, and didn’t know how long it would take to fade. Shen Yuan dabbed mosquito cream on the mark, deceiving himself that it would help.
The slight coolness didn’t soothe the imagined heat of the hickey.
He went to bed and buried his face in the pillow.
But closing his eyes, he kept thinking of the man from last night… Although it had been reckless drunken behavior, and logically he should feel guilty, the longing lingered stronger.
Whether for the comfort of being held or the freedom to act without restraint in front of that man, he couldn’t say.
Shen Yuan, last night you were drunk. Now you’re sober. You need to regain your mind. You can’t live like that—you don’t have the right. Be aware of yourself.
He had indulged, released, and should be satisfied.
Shen Yuan slept until the afternoon and ate a meal.
Tomorrow school would start, and the month of final exams loomed.
Back at school, he returned to being the meticulous, disciplined Shen senior—attentive in class, handling student council duties, and preparing for exams. Recently, Prince Qin hadn’t sought him out. Sometimes his little brother would, but his uncle, now busy with a girlfriend, his career, and his own child, had little attention left for him.
Shen Yuan used to be fine with this, but now it felt dull. One night of indulgence had shown him how freeing it was to live by instinct; returning to the stagnant routine left him restless.
Recently, Li Lin frequently called to complain:
“Dad went on another date with that woman. They went to an opera together.”
“Dad bought her so many dresses and bags…”
“She even specially cooked for Dad. I don’t think it’s anything special, but Dad said it was tasty.”
Shen Yuan really didn’t want to hear any of this. Yet Li Lin had no one else to confide in but his brother. Shen Yuan couldn’t just admit his jealousy outright, which made him all the more restless.
Outwardly, he said, “Lately, is all you do just focus on this stuff? Are you studying properly? Remember, the beginning is always the hardest. Pay attention in class. You spent the whole summer going crazy over games.”
Inside, his thoughts were sour: That woman actually has some taste. No wonder Uncle liked her—I knew Uncle wouldn’t go for some shallow, ordinary girl. The food she made looked decent, too; she can cook.
Li Lin, caught off guard by the question, stammered: “I-it’s okay… not too hard. I did my homework properly.”
Shen Yuan said, “Good. I’ll be looking at your final exam scores. If you’ve slipped since you entered school, just see what I do to you.”
Li Lin nodded obediently.
Shen Yuan had always been the model of both talent and character.
When he was six, he went to live with his grandfather and grew up under his strict supervision. His grandfather, a retired soldier, demanded a lot from him—probably because Shen Yuan had spent his early years with his father, and his grandfather feared he might grow up like the man he saw as worthless.
At that time, his mother’s career was still developing, and his uncle and aunt grumbled at having an extra child to feed.
He hadn’t attended kindergarten and slept on a small bed tucked in the corner of his grandfather’s room until elementary school. He envied his cousin immensely.
His cousin was pampered—spoon-fed and praised for even taking one extra bite. Shen Yuan dared not do the same; he only ate what was in front of him and never took meat. His cousin was enrolled in endless extracurricular classes—piano, math, calligraphy—sometimes crying and resisting. Shen Yuan envied him even more. By age ten, his cousin still couldn’t peel eggs or tie shoelaces. Shen Yuan, who learned to dress himself and wash with care, folded towels neatly and wiped the washbasin dry. His cousin had lavish birthday celebrations; Shen Yuan’s own birthdays went unnoticed.
Even at a young age, Shen Yuan knew he was different from other children.
After moving to the Li household, his uncle remembered his birthday. When he turned fifteen, he had a birthday celebration for the first time in his life.
As he grew older, Shen Yuan dared not act capriciously. He became a model student: diligent, obedient, finishing homework early, practicing calligraphy, borrowing books from the library every day. Though he never attended extra tutoring, his grades surpassed his cousin’s, who took all those lessons. His aunt grew more envious, but Shen Yuan could only study hard. Bringing home first-place results meant a sweet treat from his grandfather, and that made him happy.
He hadn’t been naturally gifted. While other toddlers spoke around one year old, he didn’t talk until nearly two. He learned slowly, clumsily, causing his mother to worry, thinking perhaps she had cursed him by calling him “A-Ben” (Little Fool). Eventually, he caught on, no longer needing adult guidance.
This weekend would be his nineteenth birthday.
Ever since moving into the Li household, his uncle had always remembered to celebrate it with gifts. Last year, having earned his driver’s license, he received a car. Shen Yuan wasn’t after wealth; simply being remembered made him satisfied.
He had looked forward to this birthday all week.
It fell on a Saturday. At exactly twelve, Shen Yuan received the first birthday message—from little brother Li Lin.
Soon after, he received numerous greetings. Shen Yuan was well-liked and socially adept; acquaintances didn’t hesitate to wish him a “happy birthday.”
By one o’clock, still no message from his uncle. Previous years, the uncle hadn’t messaged until later in the day, but one always hopes for a little more.
The next day, Shen Yuan woke restlessly, anxiously checking his phone.
Many birthday messages came, but none from his uncle. Shen Yuan felt a creeping unease.
Returning to the Li household, Li Lin eagerly greeted him: “Bro, I bought the latest sneakers for you. Try them and see if they’re comfy!”
Shen Yuan sat in the living room, trying on the shoes, distracted, looking around, and said absentmindedly, “Pretty comfortable… thanks, Li Lin.”
Li Lin asked, “Bro, what are you looking for?”
Hesitating, Shen Yuan asked delicately, “Where’s Uncle? Isn’t he coming back?”
Li Lin’s expression darkened: “That woman suddenly fell ill, so Dad went to the hospital to take care of her. He probably won’t be back today.”
Shen Yuan paused: “Ah… I see. Can’t be helped… the patient comes first.”
“Don’t mention that frustrating woman,” Li Lin muttered, dragging him along. “Bro, I ordered your birthday cake this year. Let’s go see if you like it.”
After eating, Li Lin tugged at him: “Bro, let’s go out and have fun?”
Shen Yuan gently pushed him away, pressing a hand to his forehead: “I’m a bit tired. I want to rest.”
Li Lin immediately worried: “What’s wrong? Are you not feeling well?”
Shen Yuan: “Nothing, I’ll be fine after a nap.”
Back in his room, Shen Yuan finally received a call from his uncle. Awkwardly, his uncle said, “…Sorry, Xiao Yuan. I’ve been so busy I almost forgot. Today’s your birthday, happy birthday. I won’t be back today—just tell me what gift you’d like.”
Shen Yuan, understanding, replied: “It’s okay, thanks, Uncle. No need to spend on a gift.”
As they spoke, Shen Yuan heard a woman’s faint voice in the background: “Ah Chen, can you pour me some water?”
So intimate. Shen Yuan felt a pang of envy.
Hurriedly, his uncle said, “I have something to do, I’ll hang up first.”
Shen Yuan stared at the phone, the dial tone buzzing, dazed for a long time.
He lay back, staring at the dark ceiling, eyes open in fatigue but unable to fall asleep.
In the quiet room, even the ticking of the seconds hand seemed unusually loud.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
Time passed, though Shen Yuan didn’t know how long.
He finally sat up on the bed, switched on the bedside lamp, and unlocked the drawer. Inside his notebook was a crumpled piece of paper.
His frozen heart suddenly began to beat again.
He stared at the string of numbers and the signature, “Uncle,” muttering softly to himself, “I’m really crazy.”
Then Shen Yuan dialed the number.
Listening to the “beep… beep…” as it connected, he couldn’t help but feel anxious. Would it even go through? Was he really about to contact that old pervert? Hadn’t he decided not to reach out again?
He didn’t even know why he had picked the note back up after tossing it away—it was probably just fear that the cleaning lady might find it and discover what he had done…
Maybe he should just forget it. Shen Yuan hesitated. Last time he could blame it on being drunk, but this time he hadn’t even been drinking. It wasn’t just a mistake—it was a deliberate, repeated one.
As Shen Yuan wavered, the phone connected.
“Hello? Who’s this?”
Even hearing it again, Shen Yuan thought the voice was incredibly pleasant.
He hesitated, unsure what to say. The man sounded like a seasoned playboy, casually sleeping with anyone—was he really about to make an appointment?
Then the man spoke, a teasing smile in his tone: “Little one, is that you? Finally remembered to call me?”
Shen Yuan immediately recalled the man’s lips against his ear, whispering, “Uncle loves you” in that same lazy, sensual, teasing way. Suddenly, his ear pressed against the phone seemed to burn.
He remembered—he remembered me! Somehow, Shen Yuan felt a strange, unexpected surge of happiness.