In the office, Li Lin stood dejectedly before his homeroom teacher, obediently taking the scolding.
The teacher, frustrated at his wasted potential, said, “There’s only half a year left until the college entrance exam. Success is just within reach—grit your teeth and push through. What’s going on with you lately? You seem so distracted. You shouldn’t be performing at this level… Sigh, I’m not scolding you, I’m worried about you.”
“If you have something on your mind that you don’t want to share with me, you can go to the counseling office and talk to one of their teachers. They’ll keep it confidential. Once you share it, you can focus on your studies for the next six months—it won’t be long.”
The teacher had an inkling anyway—boys and girls around seventeen or eighteen who suddenly become moody are usually dealing with love matters. Li Lin was tall, handsome, and talented; she knew several girls in the school had crushes on him. Romantic flings always happened secretly under the radar, no matter how strict the rules were, and perhaps Li Lin had fallen out with a girl he liked.
At the start of the term, his dedication had been remarkable. He’d completed all his summer homework on time, neat and carefully done. She had worried that he might have spent the summer playing games and feared a dip in grades, but he had aced the opening term tests—first in class and third in grade—giving her a huge surprise. Seeing such a promising student suddenly lose focus made her anxious.
Li Lin felt ashamed but couldn’t calm the restless thoughts swirling in his mind. Lately, he had been losing sleep and repeatedly dreaming of his brother.
His brother had shocked his previously innocent mind with obscene words. Li Lin had always thought his brother was pure and abstinent, but hearing those words made him imagine… what expressions he had, in what setting, how he sounded… was his brother submissive? Were his expressions flushed, his skin tinged pink? Even imagining it made Li Lin’s body heat up, thoughts running wild.
Li Lin had once read that many high school boys couldn’t study because their minds were 90% filled with pornographic thoughts. At the time, he’d scoffed, thinking such boys were idiots who couldn’t control themselves. Now he realized he wasn’t much better.
He felt guilty about thinking these impure thoughts about his brother, especially sneaking to wash his underwear early in the morning. And yet… his brother was male, already had a boyfriend, and he still couldn’t control himself. He even worried that his brother might be with someone younger or better suited, hoping he’d dump the older man.
These filthy thoughts were impossible to share aloud.
The teacher didn’t know how complex Li Lin’s inner world was. She tried to steer him gently and firmly: “You’ve been neglecting your studies. If this continues, I’ll have to contact your family. If you can’t tell me, at least communicate with them, alright?”
Li Lin thought: there’s no way I can tell my father about these thoughts—he’d break my legs! Then an idea struck him, and he eagerly said, “Go ahead! Tell them! Tell my brother!”
The teacher was confused—she had no intention of encouraging this. Li Lin sometimes was obedient, sometimes strange.
“Are you sure?” she asked.
With eager eyes, Li Lin nodded like a pecking chick, “Yes, yes, yes!”
Perhaps he was craving family attention. The teacher knew Li Lin’s brother, Shen Yuan, had visited a few times. Though they weren’t blood-related, the bond between the two was strong. Shen Yuan often checked on Li Lin’s studies and attended his competitions, just like a caring elder sibling.
The teacher called Shen Yuan, explaining Li Lin’s recent distraction: “…He may not want to share it with adults, but perhaps he’ll open up to you. The college entrance exam is near, and I don’t want him to slack off after all his hard work. It would be a shame.”
Shen Yuan’s heart sank immediately. Of course—Li Lin had been unsettled because he had witnessed Shen Yuan’s involvement with Qiao Hailou. Shen Yuan felt guilty; his reckless behavior had unintentionally affected Li Lin at the most critical time of his life. Every moment before the exam was precious.
Without delay, Shen Yuan went to the school the next day.
During nap time, students were asleep. Li Lin was half-asleep, dreaming once again of his brother, dreams hazy and misty. This one felt especially real; he even seemed to hear his brother calling him:
“小 Lin… 小 Lin…”
“Wake up, Xiaolin.”
Li Lin jolted awake to see Shen Yuan standing right in front of him, startling him so much that he banged the back of his head against the wall.
“Ouch…” The pain confirmed it wasn’t a dream.
Li Lin asked sheepishly, “Brother, why are you here?”
“My teacher called me and said you’ve been distracted in your studies. Of course I came.”
Blushing, Li Lin stayed quiet. Shen Yuan lowered his voice: “Your roommates are asleep. Come on, get dressed—we’ll go outside and talk somewhere private.”
Outside the dorm, they found a secluded grove. Shen Yuan looked at him with concern: “It’s because of last week at the cinema, isn’t it? That’s why you’ve been distracted?”
Li Lin shook his head, flustered: “N-no… it’s not…”
Shen Yuan, seeing his hesitation, decided to be straightforward: “You don’t need to worry anymore. I’ve broken up with Qiao Hailou.”
Li Lin’s eyes widened in disbelief: “Ah??”
Shen Yuan nodded weakly, pained: “Yes.”
Li Lin almost jumped for joy: “You… you broke up already??”
Shen Yuan felt even more distressed; he didn’t want to recount the details of the split. “Let’s not talk about it. Don’t bring up Qiao Hailou in front of me.”
Li Lin straightened, finally noticing Shen Yuan’s unhappiness, and nodded frantically: “Okay, okay, I won’t say it again, I promise.”
Shen Yuan, remembering his original purpose, shifted focus back to encouraging Li Lin to study: “So don’t let my affairs distract you from studying. It’s all resolved. I feel guilty that you saw what I did, but it’s done. I don’t want it to affect your exam results—you’re my pride. You’ve always known how to control yourself, even with games. The finals are important; I want you to score well, like the first test of the term. Okay?”
Li Lin listened obediently, eyes lighting up at “when you’re an adult.” He hated being treated like a child. Could it be that when he grew up, his brother would look at him differently?
He hesitated, concerned: “Brother, even though you broke up with Qiao Hailou, are you still going to find another man?”
Shen Yuan thought: Isn’t who I date my own business? But facing Li Lin’s innocent face, he said, “I don’t know… we’ll see.”
Li Lin sighed, disappointed: “So you’ll still look for someone else.”
Shen Yuan didn’t understand: does dating affect your studies? But he decided his exams came first. “I won’t date anyone until after your exams. I’ll focus on supporting you.”
Li Lin’s eyes lit up: “Yes!”
Shen Yuan: “I’ll focus on studying, aim for the top scholarship. You focus on studying too, play fair, and get the score you want. Deal?”
Li Lin barked his agreement like a happy puppy: “Yes!!!”
After this heart-to-heart, his recent slump disappeared. He tackled his homework with fierce determination, eager to make his brother proud.
Two days later, Shen Yuan didn’t even need to check; Li Lin’s homeroom teacher reported back that he had regained focus, aced his math quizzes again, and seemed back on track. Shen Yuan finally relaxed.
Yet his own mind was unsettled. Despite life returning to routine, he couldn’t stop thinking about Qiao Hailou. He felt conflicted: he wanted to sever ties with Qiao Hailou, yet couldn’t help wondering why he hadn’t tried harder to soothe him. He realized Qiao Hailou had always treated him like a plaything, casually giving attention and then abandoning it.
Shen Yuan blamed Qiao Hailou’s experience—his cunning, persuasive ways had trapped someone clever and cautious like him. Even now, all he could do was try a roundabout way.
Tuesday evening.
Qiao Hailou arrived early at the restaurant and saw Li Chen. Rising to greet him warmly, he puzzled Li Chen, who wondered if there was a project issue. Li Chen had approached Qiao Hailou to co-invest in a prime plot of land; he couldn’t handle it alone, so he invited Qiao Hailou to join.
Qiao Hailou had no interest in the profit, only in concluding the matter quickly, though he still had to be patient during the negotiation.
When the discussion was nearly finished, Qiao Hailou smiled casually: “Li, I just remembered—our director Blue asked about your son, said he misses him. With winter break coming up, will Shen Yuan be working here again? Since he’s in his final semester, maybe I can offer him a full-time position.”
He thought this sounded natural enough.
Li Chen glanced at him suspiciously: “You’re close with him. Why ask me instead of him directly?”
Qiao Hailou froze.
Li Chen’s tone stabbed at his heart.