“You… what are you doing here?”
Bai Lan stammered, words jumbled. “When did you—arrive?”
Ning Zhengyu trembled, pointing at him. “Then why are you in my brother’s bedroom?”
“I came to deliver the calming incense,” Bai Lan said, ears burning. Flustered, he bolted out. “I’ll… go first!”
Ning Zhengyu chased after him, following him into Tianmendong.
“Explain yourself! What were you sneaking around for in my brother’s room?”
“I wasn’t sneaking! I just delivered the incense. Ask Qing Mo if you don’t believe me!”
Ning Zhengyu snorted. “Stop lying. I saw you touch my brother’s face! Oh—I get it. You have designs on him, sent him under some drug, and if I hadn’t come, who knows what you’d have done!”
Bai Lan’s face turned bright red. “You’re still so young, and your mind is already so filthy. You’re far too wicked!”
He stepped forward, trying to cover Ning Zhengyu’s mouth before the boy could blurt out more, but Ning Zhengyu ducked and darted around the room. “I can’t believe you’re really like this! And I actually trusted you!”
“You—stop talking nonsense! Even if you saw something earlier, don’t make things up now!” Bai Lan protested.
Ning Zhengyu smirked. “Oh, you wish I’d make a scene! If I had shouted for someone, it would have gone exactly the way you wanted. You’d have gotten me to witness you alone with brother, all to secure some title for yourself! You really are scheming!”
Bai Lan, both angry and embarrassed, couldn’t catch the boy. They ran through the Tianmendong room all the way to the backyard. Out of breath, Bai Lan leaned on the railing, exhaling heavily, giving up the chase, and plopped onto a chair.
He waved his hand. “I don’t want to argue with you anymore. Think whatever you want.”
Seeing Bai Lan collapse, Ning Zhengyu also sat at the opposite side of the table. “Even if you argued, it wouldn’t help!”
“All right, all right. So I’ve admired Young Master for a long time, secretly harboring… mischievous intentions. You think I purposely drugged him to do something improper, don’t you?” Bai Lan, exhausted, swallowed nervously. “You better tell Young Master that my heart is impure, so he can kick me out early.”
Ning Zhengyu pointed at him. “See? There you go—finally admitting it!”
He tilted his chin, a knowing look in his eyes. “But when I think about it, it makes sense. My brother is refined, handsome, a true gem among men. A young man like you, unmarried and unattached, seeing him every day, it’s natural to be enchanted, to get flustered and do things you wouldn’t want others to know. That’s only normal.”
Bai Lan covered his ears. “My brother’s incredible! And here I was thinking he was the one seducing me!”
Seeing Bai Lan silent, Ning Zhengyu scooted his chair closer. “Come on, with a brother like him—talented, wealthy, and kind to you—you’ve long admired him in your heart, haven’t you?”
Bai Lan’s face flushed even deeper. “Why are you saying this to me?”
“To make you think about it, of course.”
He turned his head away. “I don’t want to listen.”
Ning Zhengyu hummed a few times. “Don’t worry. Considering how you’ve helped me before, I’m not the type to betray a favor. I won’t tell anyone.”
“But! You’re not allowed to touch brother again!”
Bai Lan waved his hand impatiently. “Say what you want. Go on. I’m going to rest.”
He pushed Ning Zhengyu toward the door. “You better rest!”
With a bang, the door shut behind him, and Bai Lan exhaled deeply.
He calmed his racing heart. Though he had been caught by Ning Zhengyu and was startled, the boy was still a child and had promised not to blurt things out recklessly. Even so, Bai Lan felt extremely guilty.
Looking out the window, his gaze drifted, and memories stirred.
During the Lantern Festival, the Ning household was festive beyond measure, the entire estate decorated with bright lanterns, looking like a radiant palace. At that time, Ning Muyan had passed both imperial examinations, fulfilling the family’s expectations, and was appointed a scholar in the Hanlin Academy by imperial decree.
After Ning Elder passed away, having served the court dutifully all his life, the emperor held him in deep regard. Ning Muyan, upon entering official service, was treated generously and promoted swiftly, demonstrating extraordinary talent.
The Ning household, following the elder’s death, regained prominence during Ning Muyan’s first year in office, preparing the family to move to the capital the following year.
This was the last New Year celebration the Ning family would spend in the provincial city, and they intended it to be lively.
Bai Lan, in his small courtyard, felt the joy of the estate. The matriarch was pleased, allowing the family to attend the Lantern Festival, and even he was permitted to go.
The lanterns along Zhuque Street glimmered continuously like a silver river.
Wrapped in a thick cloak, Bai Lan felt excitement after being confined for so long. Knowing this might be the last time he could freely enjoy the city, he wandered the streets, eating and drinking, amidst fireworks and the bustling celebrations.
Amid the noise, a voice called: “Bai Lan.”
He turned sharply and saw Ning Muyan, standing tall in a dark fox-fur cloak, looking at him. In the glittering lantern light, he was strikingly radiant.
“You came out to see the lanterns too?”
Bai Lan cautiously nodded. When he first entered the Ning estate, Ning Muyan had not yet reached adulthood. Though composed, there had been a trace of youthful exuberance. Now, having just begun his official career and experienced only a year in the bureaucratic world, all traces of youth had vanished. He was a young man whose emotions were unreadable, which made Bai Lan feel a subtle distance, though it did not erase the quiet turbulence in his heart.
Ning Muyan asked, “Did you buy any lanterns?”
Bai Lan shook his head.
“Didn’t eat enough at dinner?”
Bai Lan’s cheeks flushed. He wasn’t sure how long Ning Muyan had been observing him, perhaps noticing how he’d indulged in street snacks. He instinctively wiped his mouth, worried crumbs remained.
Seeing this, Ning Muyan’s eyes flickered slightly.
“I… I did eat before coming out, just… seeing the lanterns made me hungry again.”
“Then eat a little more.”
Bai Lan quickly waved him off. He couldn’t eat more in front of Ning Muyan. “I already… already ate.”
Ning Muyan said nothing further and didn’t press him, walking ahead with his hands behind his back.
Bai Lan watched the tall, straight figure, lowering his gaze slightly, fingers fidgeting.
He knew he wasn’t good at conversation. Before, he had thought the difficulty of speaking with Ning Muyan was due to his lowly birth and lack of education. Now that he could read and write, he still found no progress in expressing himself before him.
He felt a little disheartened, thinking it might be best to just head back.
“Why are you still standing there? Come on, follow me.”
“Huh?” Bai Lan looked up to see Ning Muyan had stopped ahead, waiting for him. “Oh!”
He hurried, hands tucked in his sleeves, running up to fall into step beside Ning Muyan.
“These lanterns are all so exquisite. Do any of them catch your eye?”
Ning Muyan slowed his pace, careful that Bai Lan’s short legs could keep up. Lanterns were sold at nearly every stall along the street. He paused, noticing how many children were buying rabbit-shaped lanterns. He was about to pick one for Bai Lan when someone nearby said, “The little fish lanterns are beautiful.”
“The little fish lanterns are indeed more suited to floating in the river for wishes.”
Bai Lan carefully took the red-tailed carp lantern Ning Muyan picked up. In Ning Muyan’s hand, the small lantern looked modest, but in Bai Lan’s grasp it seemed much larger. A quiet joy rose in his chest, and he looked at Ning Muyan. “The little fish lantern looks so plump and lively.”
Ning Muyan chuckled at the comment.
Bai Lan noticed a rare sparkle in the normally cool young master’s eyes. At that moment, he felt a closeness between them. Perhaps one didn’t need a wealth of learning or breathtaking beauty—sometimes, a shared smile could shorten the distance between two hearts.
Holding the lantern, Bai Lan said softly, “Thank you, Young Master.”
Ning Muyan’s smile faded slightly. He looked at Bai Lan with his hands behind his back, then averted his gaze. “Why are you still calling me Young Master?”
“Huh?”
“…You should call me husband.”
The words were soft, almost lost in the roar of fireworks, yet close enough that only the two of them could hear.
…
Bai Lan walked to the window and closed it, which had been rattling from the biting winter wind.
The winter air was sharp and cold; his breath formed misty clouds. The fierce wind hinted that snow might soon fall.
The cold of the winter night cleared his mind and reminded him of the chill in the dungeon.
He felt lost. Once, Ning Muyan had been someone who treated him kindly within the grand Ning estate. Even after only a handful of interactions, Bai Lan had once naively believed he had a place in Ning Muyan’s heart.
Back when he first entered the estate, he had been just a young village boy, tender and inexperienced, and Ning Muyan was extraordinary, unlike anyone he had ever met in his ten-plus years. How could he guard his heart in the face of such a man?
And, of course, they were married.
Even when Bian Daiyun constantly made things difficult, when the Ning household fell from grace, Bai Lan did not leave. When Bian Daiyun handed over the divorce papers, his heart had been complicated; he had wanted desperately to tell Ning Muyan, though he knew in terms of birth, education, and family, he could never compare to Bian Daiyun. Yet in hardship, Bai Lan had remained loyal.
But he also feared that Ning Muyan would be too saddened by Bian Daiyun’s departure, and that would cause him further pain.
By the time he visited Ning Muyan in the dungeon, he knew everything.
The Ning family had fallen; Ning Muyan had been imprisoned; the legitimate wife had divorced him. Bai Lan thought perhaps the Ning family would never regain its former glory.
Gripping the icy iron bars of the dungeon, he asked Ning Muyan if he had ever felt even a spark of affection for him.
“No. Never,” came the answer.
He explained that their worlds were too far apart; Ning Muyan, bearing the hopes of his family, would not pursue something doomed to fail.
Indeed, Bai Lan thought, what was he, Jiang Bai Lan? Even if a phoenix falls from grace, covered in dirt, it remains a phoenix. It could never stoop to admire a mere farm bird.
What he had perceived as kindness might have only been the natural refinement of a noble young master.
Bai Lan found Ning Muyan’s honesty both startling and heartbreaking. He, already deep in the swamp of his own feelings, had someone willing to help him—not with grand gestures, but even a small kindness. Ning Muyan did not offer false praise or manipulative words, and that alone was enough to wound him deeply.