Shen Qing pressed his lips together. “The human consciousness chooses what to remember. It can close off painful memories, creating a false forgetting. But when a similar situation occurs, the valve to memory opens instantly.” He picked up the photo of the crime scene from the floor. “This is a similar situation he has experienced. Fourth Brother must have lived through such a painful death.”
When He Xing first took over his care, she did not know his mental condition. The first episode left everyone paralyzed with fear. It took even longer than Lu Xianqing’s own time to recover.
Privately, she had subtly inquired with Ming Fei, who knew even less than she did.
“Shen Qing, please find a way. I know you can. Save him.” He Xing gripped his hand, desperate. Lu Xianqing had tried to commit suicide, had self-harmed, done terrifying things all these years—but losing control like today, breaking down so openly—it was the first time.
Shen Qing could not guarantee success. He had helped many people untangle their mental knots and return to normal lives over the years, but Lu Xianqing remained an unconquerable mountain.
He felt almost helpless, seeing He Xing—usually so strong—show such a vulnerable expression, and it made him feel even more powerless.
“I’ll look for more case studies. For now, observe his condition closely over the next few days. You quietly check on his past experiences without letting him know. Keep me updated if anything happens.”
He Xing, still worried about Lu Xianqing, nodded hastily. “Thank you. I’ll leave now.”
An Ning helped Lu Xianqing into the car. He leaned pale and exhausted against the seat, lips colorless, forehead slick with sweat, his body still trembling uncontrollably.
An Ning kept wiping his sweat, tears streaming down her face. “Fourth Brother, don’t scare me. Weren’t you doing better these past few days? Why—”
“An Ning,” Lu Xianqing’s voice was hoarse. She blinked through reddened eyes, on the verge of crying again.
“Don’t tell Ye anymore, and don’t tell Mr. Lu either,” he instructed, raising a hand to press against his forehead. An Ning mimicked the gesture, rubbing his temples while her voice trembled. “Why not tell them?”
“Listen to me. Call He Xing.”
Before An Ning could dial, He Xing opened the car door. “I know you don’t want to worry Ye. I haven’t told anyone. Sleep a bit; I’ll wake you when we get home.”
At that moment, Lu Xianqing’s phone buzzed. He looked down—it was a WeChat message from Qin Sizheng.
[Fourth Brother, are you busy today?]
He paused, momentarily dazed. “What day is it today?” he asked An Ning.
She stopped pressing his head and glanced at her watch. “I had planned to go to his class after the session, but given your state, you shouldn’t. I’ll tell him to wait until tomorrow?”
“No, tell him I’ll be there shortly.”
“He Xing says no!”
“I’m fine.”
An Ning looked between them, unsure how to respond. He Xing said firmly, “You need to rest at home. How can you teach in this condition? Missing one day won’t matter.”
Her words faltered. In the past, Lu Xianqing’s suicidal tendencies hadn’t made her hesitate to say “death,” but now she couldn’t even speak it, as if it were a forbidden word.
Lu Xianqing turned toward her, eyes dark and unfocused, looking pale and fragile. “I just want to see him—for one hour…”
Finally, He Xing relented, wiping her face and turning away. “Damn it.”
An Ning whispered, “Sister Xingxing, how should I reply?”
He Xing said, “Only one hour. Not a second more.”
Lu Xianqing reached out, touching her head. “I’m really fine. Don’t cry.”
She brushed his hand away, wiping her face harder, ignoring her makeup as tears streamed down.
Lu Xianqing said softly, “The three-carat pink diamond you liked last time… buy it later.”
She froze mid-sob. “Buy it now?” she murmured.
He Xianqing smiled faintly. “Buy it.”
An Ning took the phone, replying to Qin Sizheng: “Fourth Brother is held up for a moment. He’ll be there soon.”
Qin Sizheng, holding the script at the door, had already heard from Xu Zhao that Chu Wei was busy on a business trip, so Fourth Brother was substituting. He felt relieved—he’d rather Lu Xianqing teach the lesson himself than anyone else.
He recalled the day Fourth Brother had taught him to kiss, the memory of his fingers in his mouth—if it had been a stranger, he might have found it unbearable.
“Ding.” The elevator chimed. Qin Sizheng looked up reflexively, spotting Lu Xianqing entering.
“Fourth Brother.”
Lu Xianqing walked ahead, pale and still, his energy low. He Xing and An Ning’s eyes were red, as if they had been crying. Qin Sizheng asked quickly, “Is… something wrong?”
“Nothing.”
An Ning opened the office door. Lu Xianqing turned to He Xing. “Wait in the car with An Ning. One hour, then come down.”
He Xing drew a deep breath, glanced at Qin Sizheng once more, but said nothing and left.
An Ning handed Lu Xianqing the keys. Even with He Xing gone, he could sense the tension. Qin Sizheng, usually perceptive, sensed something off. “Is it because of me? If you have something to do, I can just review the script myself. No need to trouble yourself.” He started to follow He Xing to explain.
Lu Xianqing grabbed his arm. “It’s not you.”
“Your face looks terrible. Didn’t sleep well?” Qin Sizheng said, brushing the cold sweat from his forehead. His skin felt icy, far below what it should be for summer.
“I’m fine. Didn’t sleep well yesterday.” Lu Xianqing pulled his hand back and entered the office first.
Qin Sizheng carried the bag from Shen Changfeng and set it on the desk. “Fourth Brother, have you eaten?”
“Hmm?”
He opened the bag: three-tiered insulated lunch boxes, a small thermos, filled with aromatic homemade dishes and a sweet soup.
“I wasn’t sure what you’d need for the lesson, so I bought what I could afford. Last time, I noticed you liked these dishes, so I made some.” Qin Sizheng hesitated, noting his pallor, and added, “If you’ve eaten already, you can take it home for dinner.”
Lu Xianqing had forced himself to come despite his emotional volatility. Seeing Qin Sizheng, however, his heart warmed slightly. Holding the chopsticks, he felt a faint appetite return.
He picked up a piece of food, put it in his mouth, and glanced at Qin Sizheng’s nervous expression, forcing a small smile. “Not bad—your cooking has improved.”
“Then try the soup. Last time, I saw a food blogger mention it could help ease mental fatigue. I tried making it a few times; Changfeng almost threw up. This batch should be good.”
Qin Sizheng propped his chin on his hand and shared with him, recalling how Shen Changfeng—the guinea pig in this case—had been tortured by him. “That day I saw a food blogger mention okra, green pepper, and mango juice. I made it and scared him so much his face turned pale. I tried a sip myself and nearly passed out.”
Lu Xianqing took a sip. The soup was fresh but had no off-flavors—clearly, a lot of effort had gone into perfecting it.
“You made this just for me?” he asked. Qin Sizheng immediately nodded. “Yes! Is it good?”
“…It’s good,” Lu Xianqing said, and in his mind, Shen Qing’s warning echoed: Don’t treat him like medicine. If one day he’s gone, you won’t survive the withdrawal.
He realized now he already couldn’t survive the withdrawal.
“Yanyan.”
“Hm?” Qin Sizheng looked up at him. Lu Xianqing’s gaze lingered on his eyes, reminiscent of the house pet “Yanyan,” and he paused, ultimately letting the words die unsaid. “Nothing. Let’s start class.”
“You’re not eating?” Qin Sizheng noticed he had barely touched the food.
“Not very hungry right now. I’ll take it home for dinner.”
Qin Sizheng tidied up, and when she turned back, she saw him leaning back in the chair, eyes closed, as if asleep. She instinctively moved quietly, not wanting to disturb him.
He looked fragile as he slept, almost begging to be held. The thought briefly crossed Qin Sizheng’s mind but she immediately dismissed it—Fourth Brother was too strong to be fragile.
She carefully placed the things down and fetched her script, sitting cross-legged on the floor nearby. The chair was too close to move without waking him, so she stayed on the mat, even softening her breathing.
Minutes ticked by. An hour later, He Xing, waiting outside, finally went up to check. Opening the door, he saw Lu Xianqing asleep in the chair, and Qin Sizheng sitting on the floor, absorbed in the script, chewing the cap of her pen, frowning and shaking her head quietly—calm, harmonious, without disturbing each other.
He realized the “rib theory” An Ning mentioned and the effect of showing Lu Xianqing the video of Qin Sizheng were real. He had never seen him sleep so deeply—right there in a chair.
Next to Qin Sizheng, he could finally lower all his defenses and release the mental pressure.
An Ning whispered, “Why didn’t Sister Xingxing go in? Has Fourth Brother not finished teaching?”
She gestured to stay quiet.
An Ning peeked inside, astonished. “He’s actually asleep?”
“Yes. I opened the door earlier, and he didn’t wake up. With his past mental exhaustion, even footsteps would’ve woken him.” He Xing exhaled sharply, a twinge of unease in her heart.
People shouldn’t rely too much on someone else, especially someone with a fragile mental state like Lu Xianqing.
Qin Sizheng was still young, unaware of the feelings growing between them. He Xianqing’s teasing might be beyond her comprehension. Company rules forbade dating. What would happen when she got older and had someone she liked?
And she couldn’t control Qin Sizheng’s feelings, forcing him to like Lu Xianqing.
“Damn it, as long as Fourth Brother is okay, I’d happily shorten my life by three years,” He Xing muttered through gritted teeth. An Ning held her hand and gave her a hug. “Don’t be afraid. Fourth Brother will be fine. You won’t lose years of your life. You’ll live long and well.”
He Xing hugged her smaller frame, and despite her petite size, the warmth felt overflowing with energy. She lowered her head with a long sigh. “True… If anyone dares to shorten his life, I’d already be furious enough to die. Once he’s better, he owes me a huge diamond for compensation.”
An Ning patted her back. “Don’t you already have enough diamonds at home? Fourth Brother has bought you so many. Also, you just cursed someone—teachers say that’s uncivilized, you need to be reprimanded!”
He Xing laughed through tears, tapping An Ning on the head. “You brat.”
An Ning teased, “No scolding, okay?”
He Xing exhaled and shook her head helplessly. “I hope your words bring luck.” Then in a lowered voice, “I’ll secretly ask Ye if he experienced something as a child. Don’t tell Fourth Brother.”
An Ning hesitated. “But Fourth Brother said not to mention it. What if Ye—”
He Xing interrupted, “I’ll handle it. Don’t tell Ye. If she knew, she’d skin me alive. And she wouldn’t stop at that—you’d get skinned too.”
Thinking of Ye Xu, An Ning shivered. “You’re right.”