An Ning realized his mood had shifted and worried she’d said something wrong. “Are you upset? Did I do something wrong?”
Lu Xianqing’s voice came from upstairs: “An Ning, take him home.”
“Why?” she blurted.
They had been apart for so long—shouldn’t she be the one returning first? By her logic, she’d feed Yan Yan, be chased away, and then they’d spend the day at home alone before she delivered dinner at night.
Why was it Qin Sizheng leaving?
Before she could react, he was already out the door.
Lu Xianqing’s voice rang sharply: “If he can’t get home safely, he’ll be surrounded. Make sure he gets there safely before coming back. Go!”
An Ning didn’t have time to ask questions. She hurried after him, but Qin Sizheng had already gotten in a car. She followed behind, pulling out her phone to call He Xing.
“Fourth Brother and Sizheng seem to have argued. You need to get home and check.”
He Xing, busy wrapping up work at the studio, immediately scolded, “What trouble is he causing now? Qin Sizheng’s always been obedient—how could he argue? Ask if he’s acting up again because he’s gotten too comfortable.”
An Ning didn’t know the details, so she shared her impressions.
He Xing felt a bad premonition. He set down the files in front of a colleague. “I’ll go back. You know what to do. Contact me if anything happens.” Then he told An Ning, “First, make sure Sizheng gets home safely and find out what happened. I’m going to Fourth Brother now.”
Qin Sizheng’s phone kept ringing. It was Shen Changfeng.
He answered. Shen Changfeng’s anxious voice immediately poured out from the receiver. “Sizheng, where are you? I went to your place—why aren’t you there? Didn’t you say you were staying home because you weren’t feeling well? You went out?”
“Mm.”
“How are you now? Where are you? I’ll come get you.”
Qin Sizheng glanced out the window. Sunlight was blocked by dark clouds, the concrete jungle pressing down with a sense of oppression. He looked back and said lightly, “Almost home.”
“Okay. I’ll wait outside your door.”
His phone lit up occasionally—Weibo notifications, occasional invites, YouSi’s new product flaunts, casual chats with friends.
But none from Lu Xianqing. Fortunately.
Qin Sizheng drew a slow breath and let it out, his chest tightening as if pierced with needles. He unconsciously clutched his collar, his breathing trembling.
Before this, he had imagined facing Lu Xianqing, breaking up, giving him a good beating, slamming evidence in his face.
But the moment he saw him, all he wanted was to hide. He truly didn’t know how to confront Lu Xianqing.
The voice in his head was right—he still liked Lu Xianqing, liked him so much that seeing the hurt in his eyes made his heart ache as if it might stop.
Yet he really didn’t know how to face the person who had treated him that way.
The one he loved was also the one he despised.
Qin Sizheng had faced countless competitions, opponents far stronger than himself, never thinking to escape. But with Lu Xianqing, he couldn’t even confront him.
The two voices in his head had gone quiet. All he felt was emptiness, the echo of that question in his ears: “Doesn’t Fourth Brother even want to say it one more time?”
Though he had been the victim, why did Lu Xianqing’s voice sound more sorrowful than his own?
His hollow heart felt as if a piece had been carved out. The thing that had kept it beating vanished in an instant. A cold wind blew in, and Qin Sizheng instinctively hugged himself.
This world still felt strange to him. Thrust into this industry like a duck being pushed forward, given no chance to catch a breath, constantly told that most people here hated him and took pleasure in criticizing him.
He had stumbled along, unsure where the depth lay, but at every step Lu Xianqing had supported him, gradually turning those who had disliked him into fans.
Now, looking back, he realized that all the people he had come to know were connected to Lu Xianqing.
Xu Jinhan was his friend.
Zhou Changjiang had worked with him for many years.
Even Chen Qiu, Shen Changfeng, Shi Jianshu, Ming Fei, and then He Xing and An Ning—all of them were connected to him. Honestly, his only true friend might just be You Si.
Qin Sizheng paused, suddenly recalling the time he had done a photoshoot with Shi Jianshu. It was near Mid-Autumn Festival, and he had confessed his longing to Lu Xianqing over the phone.
At that time, he had said he’d accompany him to watch a boxing match and mentioned You Si and a certain boxer. Coincidentally, he knew that boxer, giving them an opportunity to spar.
He had been too excited to notice—everyone knew he liked boxing—but he had only ever told You Si which boxer he liked. How had Lu Xianqing found out?
Had he secretly approached You Si to learn his preferences? How many things had Lu Xianqing done behind his back without him knowing?
Qin Sizheng remained dazed, boarding the car without even realizing he hadn’t put on his mask.
The driver immediately recognized him and noticed his mood.
“Every industry has its struggles,” the driver said. “You envy us for our freedom; we envy you for your money. In truth, nothing in this world is ever perfectly balanced.”
Qin Sizheng lifted his head, seeing only the driver’s back.
The man was older, with graying hair at the temples, his voice carrying the deep resonance of middle age.
“Sounds corny, I know,” the man continued, pausing as if waiting for Qin Sizheng to understand, “but if it’s still being said today, it must carry some truth. You have to choose what you can reasonably accept—or, choose the path you won’t regret as much, because every path brings some regret.”
Qin Sizheng was still lost in thought, as if he hadn’t heard a word.
The driver smiled lightly. “Every day I drive many passengers, just briefly participating in their lives. Some come in heartbroken, crying as if their hearts are torn. Some excitedly celebrate a new offer and treat me to candy. Some are upset and take it out on me. Some mourn a loved one, using me as a listening ear. By the time they leave my car, they’ve all found their answers.”
Qin Sizheng repeated it to himself: by the end of this ride, he needed an answer.
—
He Xing, worried about Lu Xianqing’s state of mind, raced to his house. Upon opening the door, she saw him sitting at the table, holding Yan Yan in his arms and staring blankly. Aside from his slightly colder expression, he seemed fine.
Tentatively, she called out, “Fourth Brother?”
“Mm?” Lu Xianqing turned his head, setting Yan Yan down and gesturing for her to sit.
He seldom showed such courtesy; usually, he was sharp, sarcastic, or provocative. He Xing sat nervously. “Ancestor, speak plainly. Don’t scare me.”
Lu Xianqing lowered his eyes, pushing two contracts across the table. “From today, you’ll take care of Qin Sizheng. The way you handled me before, handle him the same way. Salary comes from me, unchanged.”
He Xing took the contracts and flipped through them, uneasy. “Why did you and Sizheng argue? An Ning said he left in a bad mood.”
“He knows everything that happened before.”
“What happened before?”
Leaning back in his chair, Lu Xianqing recounted everything Qin Sizheng had told him: someone had sent him a package, including recordings of his psychological counseling sessions with Shen Qing about his obsessive fixation on Qin Sizheng and his hands. Qin Sizheng had learned it all.
He Xing jumped to her feet. “Shen Qing’s lost it!”
Lu Xianqing shook his head lightly. “Probably not Shen Qing. He wouldn’t dare, nor would he risk his professional integrity for that. No need. Revealing this would serve him no purpose.”
He Xing thought it through. “Then who?”
She truly couldn’t imagine anyone holding that much grudge against him. If these things were made public, Lu Xianqing’s reputation would be ruined. But why not just leak it himself? Why bother sending it to Qin Sizheng in such a roundabout way?
“He fears exposure? Doesn’t make sense. Selling to a gossip account would’ve worked.”
Lu Xianqing explained: “Whoever did this needed something from me. They sent these things to Yan… Qin Sizheng to drive a wedge between us. This person must be someone I know and have worked with. Either they like me or they want to use me to advance. Knowing that sending it to me would be risky, they chose someone more controllable—Qin Sizheng. No one can accept another person’s obsession over them so openly.”
In the past, Lu Xianqing’s calm delivery of such words would have made He Xing roll her eyes at his narcissism, but now she saw no other explanation.
“Too many people like you,” she said. “If we had to check everyone, it’d take forever. And if we guessed wrong, he was only trying to ruin you and Qin Sizheng. Who knows if we could intercept the information in time!”
She started making calls, her tone brisk, instructing the studio to stay alert. “The first step in running the studio—no mistakes allowed. Once it’s done, you all get a break. Hard work, everyone.”
After hanging up, she asked, “Do you have anyone in mind?”
Lu Xianqing shook his head after a moment of silence.
He Xing sighed, leaning her hand against her forehead as she ran through possible suspects. “I’ll have someone watch Sizheng’s place. If someone really likes you or wants to exploit you, they’ll make a move.”
Lu Xianqing nodded. He Xing glanced at the contracts, then returned to the original topic. “And you and Sizheng? Do you want me to explain things to him?”
“Explain what?” Lu Xianqing smiled faintly, a trace of bitter chill at the corners of his mouth. “Explain that I’m sick? That those obsessive behaviors were uncontrollable? That I know I was wrong, and I want him to give me a chance, to forgive me, and like me again?”
He Xing felt her heart twist in pain. “Fourth Brother…” She had been assigned to him by Ming Fei since his debut, carried him through nine years, seen him at his worst—slashing his wrists in anguish, taking half a bottle of sleeping pills, drinking excessively, sleepless, mentally on the brink.
He Xing had seen Lu Xianqing at his worst, from the cold, shadowed depths in his eyes slowly gaining color, from the rigid, icy expressions of his acting to the faint warmth of human emotion blooming across his face.
From cynicism to craving affection, he had been like a delicately carved wooden puppet, suddenly injected with blood, filling the void of his soul, gradually gaining life, a spark of spirit.
Selfish as it might sound, He Xing truly felt he hadn’t done anything wrong.
He had fallen ill.
After a pause, she asked, “What did he say?”
Lu Xianqing lowered his head, looking at his own hands, the redness from where Qin Sizheng had struck still lingering. “He… doesn’t want me anymore.”
He… doesn’t want me anymore.
Hearing it from Lu Xianqing’s mouth carried a heartbreak that made He Xing’s eyes fill with tears. “That can’t be. Sizheng likes you so much—he wouldn’t just abandon you. Give him a few days to calm down, I’ll go try to persuade him!”
“He Xing.”
She lifted her head to wait for him to speak.
Lu Xianqing tugged at his sleeve to cover the red marks, his voice calm. “This probably wasn’t done by just one person. He knew about my obsession with Qin Sizheng’s hands, knew about that letter I placed in the variety show, knew I could write in slender gold script. Not many knew the truth behind that photo of his hand. Go check on Jiang Xi.”
“He met with Shen Qing alone, so the recordings could only have been seen by patients who had visited him. Shen Qing wouldn’t reveal patients’ matters, but there’s someone in the circle who once tried to attract my attention through cynicism and despair.”
“He’s talking about Jiang Zhen?”
Lu Xianqing nodded. “Possibly. Check him privately. There are others I share conflicts with—Xu Zhao, Xu Zhilang, and also look into Si Qianqiu’s side. Then ask Yao Jinwei in prison.”
“Yao Jinwei too? That can’t be. She’s been locked up for so long.”
Lu Xianqing said, “Yao Jinwei had no real grudge against Qin Sizheng. To get what she wanted, she gave up her entire life. At the time, she claimed she didn’t know about his severe allergies and had been deceived.”
He paused, rubbing his forehead, his voice trailing off.
“You’re okay? Want me to call Shen Qing over?” He Xing asked, worried. She always felt a sense of impending danger whenever he finished giving instructions.
Lu Xianqing shook his head, then looked at her. “I have An Ning here. Handle this matter first, everything else can wait.”
Seeing him able to organize things clearly, He Xing forced down her unease. “Okay. If anything feels off, call Shen Qing immediately.”
Lu Xianqing nodded. “I know my limits. Nothing will happen.”
At the door, He Xing couldn’t help but glance back. Lu Xianqing waved and even smiled faintly. “What’s the matter? Can’t let go of me? But I couldn’t find anyone more reliable to take care of the kid.”
He Xing exhaled sharply. In this life, they owed him everything!
“He’s easier to manage than me, very obedient. Whatever you ask, he’ll do it. Though his acting isn’t perfect, without me around, he might be scolded for mishandling things. You need to have the teachers guide him. Also, while he doesn’t steal the spotlight, he does have a decent variety show sense—so let him take on more if suitable.”
“I know,” He Xing replied.
“Don’t tell Mr. Lu or President Ye. Before this matter breaks out, don’t let them worry. The fewer people know, the better,” Lu Xianqing said, tongue against his teeth as if restraining something. After a moment: “Though it’s my pathological obsession, being coveted like this is a stain. Solve it before it blows up.”
He Xing’s chest ached. “Think about yourself! Once this leaks, you’re done. No place for you in this circle!”
Lu Xianqing smiled faintly. “Even ruined, I can return to inherit billions. I have plenty; he has very little, and I can’t let him lose even one thing.”
“For you, billions mean nothing compared to Qin Sizheng. Without him, you wouldn’t even…” He Xing’s voice cut off, afraid of leading him, and she stopped.
Lu Xianqing’s smile lingered. “No, money still matters.”
She thought, Matters my foot.
He had so little of his own? In truth, Lu Xianqing had so little. He wouldn’t let Qin Sizheng lose anything—but what about himself?
If Qin Sizheng didn’t want him, he had nothing left.
—
When Qin Sizheng got out of the car, the driver handed him an unopened mask. He put it on and walked home. Shen Changfeng, seeing him, hurried over.
“Where did you go?”
An Ning parked nearby. By the time she got there, the doors were locked, and they couldn’t talk. She could only report to Lu Xianqing that he arrived home safely.
“Good,” Lu Xianqing paused. “You’ve been working hard. Take three days off, go out and relax. Expenses reimbursed.”
An Ning sensed something off; his tone reminded her of when she first became his assistant, carrying a strange, unsettling emptiness.
“I don’t want time off.”
“Suit yourself.” Lu Xianqing hung up.
He Xing, meanwhile, went straight to Shen Qing’s psychological clinic, calling someone to locate a man named Jiang Xi.
She arrived just as Shen Qing finished a counseling session and sent the client out. Seeing He Xing, he frowned. “Fourth Brother isn’t well again?”
She had no time for him, rushing into the office to search everywhere. Shen Qing grabbed her hand. “What are you doing?”
“Idiot! You installed a bug here!”
“Impossible!” Shen Qing retorted, sternly.
He Xing yanked her hand free, overturning a chair and inspecting thoroughly. Sure enough, under the chair, she found a small “button” device stuck there.
“What is this? Don’t tell me you installed it yourself, to sell your patients’ secrets?”
Shen Qing was stunned—he truly had no idea there had ever been a bug installed here. Psychological interventions were absolute; there was no monitoring in the consultation room, and now, even checking, there would be no evidence.
He Xing looked at him sharply. “How do you explain this?”
Shen Qing, pressured by her relentless gaze, fell silent, fumbling for a response. After a long moment, he realized the implication. “Did something happen to Fourth Brother? Someone’s using recordings from his sessions here to threaten him?”
He Xing snapped, “How do you even operate? You had no idea this device was installed?”
Immediately, Shen Qing grabbed his phone. “Stealing from others is illegal! We should call the police!”
“No!” He Xing snatched the phone. “If we call the police, word gets out. Right now, no one can know. I’m not asking about anyone else; I only want to know how many people in the circle have done psychological counseling!”
Shen Qing said, “No comment.”
He Xing grabbed his collar, coldly locking eyes with him. “And you’d better give the same answer if anyone asks. About Fourth Brother’s condition—no comment.”
After speaking, she yanked her hand away, tearing out the bug before Shen Qing could react.
Only then did he realize she hadn’t come for an explanation—she was here to warn him, to make sure he kept Lu Xianqing’s matters strictly confidential.
This woman!
Jiang Xi’s whereabouts had yet to be confirmed. He Xing raced on to contact Yao Jinwei; they had to act fast. If the other party changed their mind, failing to get the upper hand now would be catastrophic.
—
Shen Changfeng was deeply worried seeing Qin Sizheng in such a daze. Quietly, he called He Xing to find out what had happened.
She said, “It’s just a small spat with Fourth Brother. Take good care of him. Leave the rest to me.”
Shen Changfeng instinctively felt it wasn’t that simple. Everyone was acting guarded. Since Qin Sizheng got home, he’d locked himself in his room, more silent than yesterday.
He hadn’t even eaten. Shen Changfeng had peered through the door crack to see him hugging his phone, seemingly absorbed in something.
“Fine, if you won’t tell me, I’ll drop it.” Shen Changfeng hung up. The doorbell rang immediately afterward. He went to open it and found Wen Li standing there.
“You came?”
Wen Li removed her glasses, her smile polite and composed. “Is Qin Sizheng home?”
“Qin Sizheng isn’t feeling well. If it’s important, could you tell me? He may not be able to meet you now.” Shen Changfeng, not fond of Wen Li, certainly wouldn’t let Qin Sizheng see her.
Wen Li said, “You tell Qin Sizheng—I’ll explain in person. He will see me.”
Shen Changfeng hesitated but eventually let her in. She sat in the living room while he knocked on Qin Sizheng’s door. “Wen Li is here. She wants to explain something. Do you want to see her?”
After a moment, the door opened.
Qin Sizheng furrowed his brows slightly. “Where is she?”
“She’s sitting in the living room. Are you okay? If you’re unwell, you don’t have to meet. If it’s work-related, you can have her contact He Xing directly.”
Qin Sizheng said, “It’s fine. Let her in.”
Shen Changfeng hesitated briefly. “Okay.”
Wen Li stood and followed Shen Changfeng to Qin Sizheng’s room. Her gaze swept from her earlier observations in the living room to the bedroom, a faint smile at the corner of her lips. “Hmm… I hear your support color is lilac. I liked lilac when I was young too.”
Qin Sizheng had no mood for pleasantries. “Get to the point.”
Seeing he wasn’t playing along, Wen Li got straight to it. “Alright, I won’t beat around the bush. I’m your mother. Eighteen years ago, I gave birth to you, and your father took you away.”
Qin Sizheng looked at her refined face, unmoved. “So?”
Wen Li sighed slowly, her eyes turning red. “I know you blame me. But all these years, I’ve wanted you, wanted you to recognize me. Back then, I had nothing. How could I compete with your father?”
“Later I married and tried to find you, but never had news of you. Only then did I know you were left in an orphanage. All these years I’ve tried to make it up to you.”
Qin Sizheng quietly studied her, letting her perform the part of a mother with hardships. Inside, he found it ridiculous.
Was she trying to manipulate him again? What did he have she could covet?
“You’re afraid I’ll expose this, confirm your out-of-wedlock pregnancy, and ruin your reputation?”