Mo Xi wished he could kick him to death with one blow. But since he couldn’t let the man see his face, he could only lower his voice and say coldly, “Get out.”
“Hey, what kind of attitude is that?”
Young Master Zhou’s smile hit a wall. After a brief pause, his expression turned vicious.
“Do you know who I am?”
“Why would I care who you are? Can’t you see what I’m doing? Get the hell out!”
Gu Mang seemed oddly interested in watching him act like a tyrant. Without blinking, he stared straight into Mo Xi’s eyes. They were only inches apart. Gu Mang’s unblinking gaze made Mo Xi uncomfortable instead.
Mo Xi lowered his voice. “Stop staring at my eyes.”
Gu Mang was obedient. He lowered his lashes and began staring at Mo Xi’s pale lips instead.
Mo Xi: “……”
Seeing the two still tangled together, completely ignoring him, Young Master Zhou raised his voice angrily.
“You want me to leave? Know your place!”
Grinding his teeth, he barked, “Young Master Zhou wants him to accompany me, so hurry up and make way! Do you know where I’m from? The Military Administration!”
“Lord Xihe, Commander Mo—that’s my buddy! Scared now? Believe it or not, if I complain to him, he’ll break your legs!”
Mo Xi: “……”
Drunk and getting bolder with every word, Young Master Zhou continued, “And you too, Gu Mang, you little bastard. Last time you refused to let me kiss you no matter what. But now you’re willing for someone else? They all say your soul is damaged and your mind is broken. Bah! If your mind’s broken, how can you still pick and choose?”
Mo Xi’s heart skipped a beat.
Soul damaged…
Mind broken?
He looked at Gu Mang’s face, so close before him. All the strange things from earlier flashed through his mind.
His head buzzed. For a moment, he couldn’t breathe.
“I think you’re just pretending to be crazy and stupid to make life easier for yourself! What soul is missing? What broken mind? You’re just a slut! A traitor!”
Gu Mang frowned, about to speak.
“Don’t move.”
Though blood thundered in his ears, Mo Xi still reacted in time. He stopped Gu Mang immediately, shut his eyes, and forced himself to steady down.
“Don’t move…”
Their lips were so close. Every word Mo Xi spoke brushed warm air across Gu Mang’s lips and teeth.
The warmth made Gu Mang instinctively want to pull away. But Mo Xi’s grip was terrifyingly strong. One hand restrained him firmly as he gritted out in a low voice, “Listen to me!”
Gu Mang didn’t want to listen.
But Gu Mang couldn’t move.
So the heat and breath of the man before him poured into his lungs, then came back out, intertwining hotly between them.
Gu Mang glared at him.
Mo Xi swallowed hard, gradually pulling himself back from the shock of Gu Mang’s soul being damaged. Once he barely steadied himself, he opened his eyes and looked at Gu Mang again. Afraid Gu Mang would act recklessly, he stayed silent for a moment before suddenly asking hoarsely:
“Have I ever hit you?”
“……” Gu Mang paused, then shook his head.
“Has he hit you?”
“……” He nodded.
“Then listen to me and ignore him.”
They were too close. Their breathing tangled deep from the chest. Mo Xi deliberately avoided Gu Mang’s clear gaze.
“As long as you listen, I’ll make him leave.”
“……” Gu Mang silently nodded.
Young Master Zhou saw them still clinging together as if unwilling to part, as though he had truly interrupted a passionate moment before bed. He became even more vulgar and irritated, excited and annoyed all at once.
“What now, Gu Mang? Still not saying anything?”
“How rare. You ignore everyone who comes here. Is this man especially handsome? Or especially good in bed? Or is it because he broke the unspoken rules and privately gave money to you, this traitorous animal?”
Step by step, Zhou approached. His breath reeked faintly of alcohol.
“What makes you, you little whore, so eager to roll into bed with him and let him fuck—”
Drunk people always talked nonsense, their words jumping all over the place.
After provoking Gu Mang, he turned without warning to provoke Mo Xi too.
“Brother, who exactly are you? Turn around and let me see. Looking at you and him, this can’t be your first visit.”
As he spoke, the drunken Zhou actually reached to tug at Mo Xi’s sleeve.
“How many times have you done him? What’s it like with our great General Gu? Is he hot? Tight? Does he serve you well?”
Mo Xi was genuinely disgusted.
Without warning, he backhanded Zhou hard across the face.
The slap was brutal. Zhou’s nose burst with blood, and he tumbled to the floor.
Before Zhou could recover, Mo Xi kicked him over, forcing him face-down, back-up, into a position where he couldn’t turn around no matter what.
“I told you to get out.” Sparks burned in Mo Xi’s eyes. “Can’t understand human speech?”
“You hit me! You actually hit me!” Young Master Zhou shrieked. “Y-you dare rebel?! Aaaah! Who—who are you?!”
“……”
“I’ll report this to His Majesty! No—I’ll report to Commander Mo! I’ll report to my father, I—”
Clang.
A heavy metallic object dropped beside Zhou’s face.
He glanced at it—and instantly broke into cold sweat. Half his drunkenness vanished on the spot. He made a pathetic choking sound and fell silent.
Mo Xi, still twisted with disgust from Zhou’s filthy words, said coldly, “Still reporting?”
“No, no, no.”
“Still coming to find him?”
“No, no.”
Mo Xi released him and kicked him once more. “Get lost. Don’t let me see you again.”
Zhou scrambled up and fled in a stumbling mess, not daring to look back once.
Mo Xi stood there coldly for a while, calming himself.
Then he bent down, picked up the Gold Token of Chonghua Military Administration, and hooked it back beside the Thousand-Mechanism Case hidden in his sleeve. Turning, he glanced at Gu Mang.
Gu Mang stood quietly by the wall, hands behind his back, watching obediently without a word.
The initial shock had faded after all that chaos.
Mo Xi had wanted to question Gu Mang further, but seeing that calm face only made his heart ache worse, his thoughts a tangled mess.
There was no point asking. And if he stayed longer, who knew what else might happen?
Then, in the silence, Gu Mang suddenly spoke.
“He fears you.”
“……”
“You fear him too.”
As if insulted, Mo Xi whipped around and glared. “What do I fear from him?”
“You fear him recognizing you.”
“……” Mo Xi paused. His hostility eased slightly, though his expression stayed unpleasant. “What does that have to do with you?”
“Did he recognize you?”
“……No.” Mo Xi’s voice was cold and stiff.
As if the burning breath he’d shared with Gu Mang moments earlier had never existed.
“But he saw your token…”
“That’s a token all first-rank officials in the Military Administration carry. No name on it.” Mo Xi fastened his sleeve-case as he looked at Gu Mang. After a pause, he added, “…You had one too.”
Gu Mang looked surprised. “I had one too?”
His blank reaction stabbed straight into Mo Xi’s heart.
Mo Xi no longer wanted to speak.
He didn’t know what he might do if he stayed.
So he pushed the door open and left without looking back.
Out on the street, the cold night wind whipped across his face.
He tried to calm himself.
He failed.
Soul damaged… mind broken…
He laughed bitterly in his heart.
Mind broken?!
The wind cut across his face like knives, stinging at the corners of his eyes.
For so long he had waited for reckoning.
And this was what he got—
A conclusion beyond reckoning.
Who did this?!
Who?!
Was it Liao Kingdom?
Was it Murong Lian?
Or… had Gu Mang himself chosen this because he couldn’t endure the humiliation?
The more he thought, the more chaotic it became, until grief overwhelmed him.
Mind broken.
Why did his heart hurt so much?
Yes—Gu Mang had once given him affection. Given him salvation.
But Mo Xi had already repaid everything.
He had even nearly thrown away his life trying to drag Gu Mang back from ruin.
What more did he owe him?
What else had he failed him in?
Whether Gu Mang’s soul was damaged or his mind broken—what did that have to do with him?
On the empty street, Mo Xi stopped and drew a shaky breath.
But after all these years, his obsession had led only to blank emptiness.
His hand trembled uncontrollably.
Suddenly flames burst in his palm.
He hurled the fireball violently toward the river.
Boom!
It exploded across the water with a thunderous crash, steam hissing upward.
Gu Mang betrayed him.
God knew how desperately he wanted to hear Gu Mang say:
I regretted betraying you. Leaving Chonghua. Leaving you. I regretted it.
But even that was impossible now.
In the end, all he got was a lunatic—a fool—who had forgotten everything.
Why?!
Mo Xi shut his eyes in pain.
After so many years, he had believed he had let go.
He had only been lying to himself.
Gu Mang mattered too much.
This man had taken too many of his firsts.
First demon hunt.
First all-night conversation by the brazier.
First battle fought back-to-back.
And then, when he turned twenty—the night of his coming-of-age.
That night—
He had gotten Gu Mang for the first time.
He still remembered Gu Mang’s expression.
Gu Mang cared about saving face in such matters.
Though his eyes were wet and his lips bitten raw, he still stubbornly bragged:
“I’ve gone through countless flowers without leaving a trace. This is nothing. We’re both men—just enjoy ourselves. Want Brother Gu Mang to teach you some moves?”
But Gu Mang should never have said that.
Mo Xi had very little restraint left.
His heart burned hot.
His feelings burned hotter.
He knew he would never do something like that just because of a little alcohol.
He did it because his desire was fierce and overwhelming.
Because his love ran too deep to hide.
But Gu Mang hadn’t understood.
He only wanted to recover some pride after being pinned down.
He babbled nonsense.
And with his own hands destroyed the last fragments of Mo Xi’s reason.
Later, Gu Mang couldn’t endure anymore.
He trembled, shook his head, and choked on sobs.
He begged Mo Xi not to be so rough.
He confessed tearfully that although he’d slept with plenty of girls, he had never slept with a man.
And that when he’d claimed otherwise, he’d only been bluffing.
In fact, he’d never even been with a man at all.
But no matter what he confessed.
No matter what he begged.
Mo Xi couldn’t stop anymore.
Only when Gu Mang finally cried from being bullied too badly—
too overwhelmed to speak—
eyes red at the corners as he looked at him—
did the desire in Mo Xi’s eyes finally soften.
He cupped Gu Mang’s face.
“I’m sorry. Does it hurt?”
Tears clung to Gu Mang’s lashes.
His face flushed in Mo Xi’s palm.
His lips trembled.
Mo Xi had truly bullied him badly.
Even worse—who would believe this foul-mouthed military rogue had never actually slept with anyone before?
When Gu Mang said nothing, Mo Xi lowered himself and kissed him.
As their wet lips tangled together, Gu Mang’s tears slid into his hair.
Mo Xi stroked his hair, said nothing more, and gathered him into his arms.
Kissing his damp lashes.
Taking in the warmth of the man in his embrace.
Young men, once awakened to desire, rarely stopped easily.
Even sages were no exception.
And Mo Xi had never truly been a sage.
He simply had never met someone capable of making him lose control.
He had fallen in love with Gu Mang first.
So all along, he had placed himself so low.
He never dared hope for Gu Mang’s first time.
He only carefully offered all the precious firsts of his own life into Gu Mang’s hands.
He never said how important those things were.
His pride wouldn’t allow it.
But secretly, anxiously, he hoped Gu Mang would treasure those memories.
Instead—
Gu Mang trampled his heart.
Yes, Mo Xi truly hadn’t wanted to stop Chonghua from judging him.
Even executing him.
Sometimes he had even imagined—
If Gu Mang absolutely had to die one day—
he wanted to be the one to judge him.
The last to torment him.
The one to personally crush him in his palm.
Grind him into blood and mud.
Scatter his ashes.
That was for national hatred.
But beyond that…
He had never truly wanted Gu Mang dead.
He had only wanted one honest answer.
One sincere truth.
After all this time…
All he wanted to ask was:
Gu Mang—
When you left Chonghua…
When you left me…
Did you regret it?
Even just a little?
Only then could all these years of love and hatred finally reach some conclusion.
But now—
One sentence.
Soul damaged. Mind broken.
Gu Mang forgot.
So Gu Mang would not suffer.
And Mo Xi was doomed beyond redemption.
No one knew about Mo Xi’s private visit to Fallen Plum Courtyard.
But over the following days, everyone in the Military Administration clearly felt Commander Mo’s irritability worsening.
Normally he already wore a perpetually sour expression and had little patience.
But recently it became obvious.
During meetings, though he didn’t zone out, his words grew sharper.
If anyone rambled too long—
he wouldn’t interrupt.
He would simply turn his face cold and stare at them.
Until they swallowed their nonsense whole.
That alone was bad enough.
Then one day, no one knew what Young Master Zhou had done wrong, but Commander Mo summoned him and scolded him for half an hour.
“Neglecting military duties. Excessive debauchery.”
Mo Xi said coldly, “Copy the Military Administration regulations one hundred times. Submit them tomorrow. If there’s a next time, I’ll send you back home with your father.”
Young Master Zhou agreed shakily and fled in terror.
Yue Chenqing leaned over with a nosy grin.
“Hey, what did you do?”
“I—I don’t know…”
“If you didn’t mess up, why would that ice-face be this angry?” Yue Chenqing’s eyes spun with mischief. “Be honest. Did you secretly hide a portrait of Princess Mengze?”
Young Master Zhou looked struck by lightning.
“Spare me, brother! I wouldn’t dare!”
Yue Chenqing stroked his chin and looked toward Mo Xi in the distance, who stood with folded arms studying a sand table.
“How strange… why’s he acting like he swallowed gunpowder…”
In the end, the gunpowder-loaded Mo Xi lasted only two days pretending not to care.
Finally, he asked his steward about Gu Mang’s experiences over the past two years.
Being a steward these days was difficult.
One had to handle everything.
The steward of Xihe Manor was named Li Wei.
Other noble households envied him, thinking Commander Mo’s residence was simple—no wife, no children, no concubines.
Far fewer troubles.
Only Li Wei knew how hard it was serving under Commander Mo.
Because Commander Mo’s questions always came without warning.
Sometimes he’d stew on something for a long time before finally asking.
And by then, his patience had usually already reached its limit.
The direct result?
He wanted answers immediately.
Even a moment’s delay made him unhappy.
After serving under Mo Xi for years, Li Wei had become almost superhuman in reading him.
Before Mo Xi even spoke, Li Wei could already tell what Commander Mo was suppressing.
How long until he snapped.
And how best to respond when he did.
This time was no different.
Mo Xi bit his lip and only said two words:
“Gu Mang…”
Before he could continue, Li Wei immediately blurted:
“Yes, Master! Gu Mang is completely broken!”
“……” Mo Xi said flatly, “Did I ask you that?”
Sometimes being too clever wasn’t a good thing.
Steward Li obediently shut up.
Mo Xi turned away expressionlessly and stared at the tea warming over the stove.
After a long while, he asked without expression—
“…How did he break?”