Time passed quickly, and before they knew it, the Dragon Boat Festival was just around the corner.
During this period, no matter how hard Gu Mang tried, his memories still slipped away like sand through his fingers. There were things he could remember perfectly clearly one day, only for Mo Xi to mention them the next and discover that Gu Mang no longer had any recollection of them. It was undoubtedly painful for Mo Xi. Every time he saw Gu Mang sitting in the study, reading through that thick stack of letters by the light of a single green candle, his heart ached.
He had never read those letters himself, but he knew that everything written on them was something Gu Mang did not want to forget. Every day, Gu Mang would read through all of them from beginning to end.
He was trying so desperately hard, yet he still could not hold on to the memories they had shared.
Aside from that, however, everything else was relatively reassuring. Gu Mang’s physical condition was gradually recovering, his consciousness remained reasonably clear, and there were still no signs that the black demonic energy inside him was becoming uncontrollable.
At least, they could still live peacefully for a while.
On the eve of the Dragon Boat Festival, Junshang sent someone with a secret letter. When it arrived, the two of them were in the courtyard brewing a jar of green-plum wine together. Mo Xi opened the letter and glanced over it.
“…It’s for you. From Junshang.”
Gu Mang had a round, plump green plum between his rosy lips. At those words, he froze for a moment and pointed at himself.
“Me?”
“See for yourself.”
Gu Mang curled his tongue, drawing the plum into his soft mouth. One cheek puffed out into a little bulge, making him look particularly adorable. Lowering his lashes, he carefully read the letter from beginning to end. In the end, with the plum still in his mouth, he mumbled indistinctly,
“…Oh.”
Ever since the day Junshang had met with Mo Xi, he had fallen ill repeatedly for several days. Perhaps his condition had become so severe that he no longer had the strength to meet with officials from outside the palace. Or perhaps Junshang simply did not know how to face Gu Mang.
What could he possibly say?
He had sent Gu Mang to the execution platform for the Black Demon Trial, yet Gu Mang had continued to keep their secret all along.
Anyone could imagine how ashamed Junshang must have felt.
Gu Mang lifted his deep-blue eyes, a trace of bitter amusement in them.
“He wants me to go to Battle Soul Mountain on the Dragon Boat Festival to make offerings.”
“I saw that.” Mo Xi paused. “Are you going?”
“No.”
“You don’t want to see him?”
“I already know what he’ll say to me. The truth is, the two of us are both doing these things for our own purposes. But if he sees me, he’ll inevitably become all sentimental and emotional, and I’ll have to cooperate and shed a few tears.”
As he spoke, he picked another green plum from the bamboo basket beside him and stuffed it into his mouth. He mumbled,
“Aside from making us both sad, it won’t change anything.”
Mo Xi did not answer immediately. He knew the pain Gu Mang carried in his heart.
Gu Mang actually hated the identity of “traitor” more than anything. He had hated it even when he had lost all his memories, and now he hated it even more.
Mo Xi remembered a night not long ago when a torrential rain had suddenly fallen, accompanied by flashes of lightning and thunder. Gu Mang had previously been sleeping in the main bedroom, but that night, he suddenly appeared in the adjoining room wearing nothing but a thin inner robe, running through the rain and crawling into Mo Xi’s arms.
Mo Xi had been sleeping soundly when a wet, trembling body suddenly curled beneath his blanket, startling him fully awake. Then he saw Gu Mang, his face pale, trembling as he pressed himself tightly against Mo Xi’s chest.
Alarmed and anxious, Mo Xi asked him what was wrong, whether he was feeling unwell anywhere.
Gu Mang only shook his head. He was freezing, his lips blue with cold.
“I had a nightmare. There were ghosts chasing me.”
That lone wolf clung tightly to Mo Xi, curled up in the warmth of his embrace. He kept choking back sobs as he said,
“They’re all chasing me… Mo Xi, they want to take my life.”
Normally, Gu Mang was someone who feared neither ghosts nor gods. Yet that night, amid the furious thunder and desolate downpour, the man who had just awakened from a nightmare appeared so painfully real and vulnerable.
Gu Mang, still chewing on his plum, felt uncomfortable under Mo Xi’s stare. He turned his eyes toward him.
“Why do you keep looking at me like that?”
Mo Xi was silent for a while before saying,
“I’m sorry. I still haven’t been able to clear your name. But if you want to go to Battle Soul Mountain to pay your respects, I can—”
Before he could finish, Gu Mang interrupted him.
“I’m not going.”
“…”
“No matter how you put it, those people were killed by me. Those cities were conquered by me. I have too much innocent blood on my hands. Eight years ago, when I was still innocent, I already said goodbye to my brothers. I don’t want to go there again now.”
Mo Xi suddenly raised his head, anguish in his eyes.
“You were forced to stain your hands with blood while protecting them.”
“Other people won’t see it that way. Whoever kills must pay with their life. What else can they do? So many people lost sons to me, husbands to me, fathers to me. They’ve hated me for five years, eight years, day and night, wanting to drag me before the law and make me pay blood for blood.
“And then suddenly, one day, you tell them, ‘No, Gu Mang was forced into it. He shouldn’t be a prisoner. He should be a hero.’
“Do you think anyone would believe that?”
As Gu Mang spoke, his expression remained calm, like a cup of wine warmed to exactly the right temperature.
“Mo Xi, have you ever thought about this? You’ve taken away the most direct target of their hatred. Those people will fall apart. They won’t forgive me simply because you’ve given them an explanation or revealed the truth.
“Hating someone is easy. Letting go is much harder. You and I have both come off the battlefield. You can’t possibly not understand that.”
“I’m not going to Battle Soul Mountain. Whether it’s Junshang or you, I won’t go no matter who accompanies me.”
As he spoke, Gu Mang raised his head and gazed into the distance, toward Battle Soul Mountain. There was still the faint, delicate fragrance of plums lingering in his mouth, but his throat felt bitter and sore. He sighed.
“In the eyes of the living, my reputation is already ruined beyond repair. But if I don’t go to Battle Soul Mountain, then at least in the hearts of those seventy thousand fallen brothers-in-arms, I’m still the same Gu Mang who has nothing to be ashamed of, the same Gu Mang who is clean and blameless.”
“That’s enough.”
And so, they declined Junshang’s invitation.
But in the end, they still did not spend the Dragon Boat Festival behind closed doors at Xihe Manor, undisturbed by anyone.
Because on the day before the festival, they received an invitation from someone else.
“Who is it this time?”
“Jiang Yexue. He’s asking whether we’d like to go to his house and make zongzi with him.”
“Ah.” Gu Mang looked mildly surprised, his eyes widening. “He’s inviting you?”
“Both of us.”
Gu Mang smiled.
“He doesn’t mind that I’m a villain?”
“You’ve forgotten, haven’t you?”
Mo Xi rolled up Jiang Yexue’s letter and gently tapped it twice against Gu Mang’s forehead.
“He was the one who helped me repair the jade slip. He saw my reaction at the time with his own eyes. In front of him, you’re no longer a traitorous minister either. He’s always been clever. Even though no one has explained everything that happened to him, I think he’s probably figured out most of the truth.”
“…” Gu Mang said nothing.
Mo Xi casually ruffled his hair.
“Go. It’s been a long time since you’ve had a lively gathering with other people. Don’t you miss Brother Jiang?”
Gu Mang nodded.
“Brother Jiang must miss Marshal Gu too. The little lunatic who ignored everything and played Phoenix Seeks Its Mate for him at his wedding. He’ll definitely be happy that you’re coming.”
Gu Mang lowered his soft, long lashes. It was as though someone had pried open a corner of a boulder sealing away the past, revealing the grievance he had kept buried beneath it. For a fleeting moment, Mo Xi saw the corners of Gu Mang’s eyes turn slightly red.
Jiang Yexue’s private residence was tucked away in a quiet, secluded corner of the northern part of the city. It was the same little courtyard Mo Xi had given him when he married all those years ago.
So many years had passed. Jiang Yexue was now the Grand Elder of the academy and earned a handsome salary, but he had always been frugal and sentimental, so he had never moved elsewhere.
During the Duanyang Festival, the streets were bustling with people. Some scattered realgar wine, some sold scented sachets, while others waved calamus leaves to ward off evil spirits. Every street and alley was filled with noise and excitement.
To avoid attracting attention, Mo Xi and Gu Mang came by carriage. When they arrived at the Jiang residence, both of them couldn’t help but freeze for a moment.
They had assumed Jiang Yexue would be alone at home. But before they had even stepped through the door, they heard the crisp laughter and playful bickering of two young people.
First, a boy’s voice:
“I’m not a monster. Sprinkling realgar wine on me won’t do anything.”
Then came an even more childish voice, a string of giggles. It was a little girl, perhaps only seven or eight years old, her soft voice saying,
“Then sprinkle some on me. I want to see whether I’m a monster.”
They rounded the screen wall and saw that the courtyard was already decorated with mugwort and calamus, along with Dragon Boat Festival lanterns.
The two people playing together were one big and one small.
The older one was dressed in white trimmed with gold. His hair was tied with golden ornaments, and a beaded forehead band decorated with gold, silver, and kingfisher feathers rested above his brows. A colorful woven plum-blossom sachet hung from his waist.
It was Yue Chenqing.
The smaller one was a little girl dressed in a colorful Five-Poison Festival outfit. Five-colored silk threads were tied around her arm in an auspicious protective ornament, and she held a tiny paper kite shaped like a centipede.
Yue Chenqing was dipping his finger into realgar wine and drawing the character “王”—meaning “king”—on her forehead.
Hearing footsteps, she turned her head. When she saw Gu Mang, her face immediately lit up.
“Ah! Big Brother!”
It turned out that the little girl was none other than Changfeng Jun’s daughter, the one who suffered from the manic heart disorder.
Gu Mang had never expected to encounter the two of them at Jiang Yexue’s home. He was both surprised and at a loss.
“Xiaolan’er… Why are you here?”
“Teacher asked me to come. I’ve been staying at Teacher’s house lately.”
Xiaolan’er was still shy and timid, but she looked much more cheerful than before. She pushed Yue Chenqing’s hand away and hopped nervously yet excitedly toward Gu Mang like a rabbit.
“Teacher said Big Brother would come today to celebrate Duanyang Festival with us. I thought he was just teasing me! I didn’t know it was really true!”
Yue Chenqing also looked as though he had known all along that they were coming. He smiled and nodded.
“Lord Xihe, Gu… um…”
He didn’t know what to call Gu Mang. Calling him by his given name was obviously no longer appropriate. Calling him Marshal Gu would touch a sore spot with Junshang. And calling him something like “Big Brother Gu” would make it sound as though he and Mo Xi were of the same generation.
After considering it for a moment, he smiled.
“Uncle-Master Gu.”
Mo Xi looked somewhat surprised.
“You’re celebrating the festival here at Brother Jiang’s place too?”
“Yeah.”
“Then your father…”
“Ah, don’t mention it. Earlier, I wanted to ask Big Brother to come home and celebrate Duanyang with us. But I barely got the words out before my father cursed me out and told me not to associate with—”
At this point, Yue Chenqing glanced toward the inner courtyard and lowered his voice.
“He told me not to associate with disreputable people.”
After saying that, he hurriedly added,
“Lord Xihe, please don’t take offense. My father is just like that. And lately his health has been getting worse and worse. He’s always losing his temper and becoming suspicious of everyone. He even says awful things to me.
“Uncle and I have already discussed it. Once things settle down, we’ll take him to Huntian Cave in our family’s old fiefdom so he can recuperate. If his health improves, perhaps he won’t say such unpleasant things anymore.”
Mo Xi said,
“So you’ve finally decided to acknowledge him as your older brother?”
Yue Chenqing looked embarrassed. He scratched his head.
“Brother Jiang… he’s actually a really good person. He’s good to me, and he’s good to Fourth Uncle too. Even though the Yue family treated him that way, he never says anything bad about our family.
“I used to believe every rumor I heard and treat him like that. I was the one in the wrong.”
Beside them, Gu Mang was crouching down and playing with Xiaolan’er while listening to Yue Chenqing explain himself. At this, he looked up at him with a smile.
“If you’re willing to acknowledge him and come spend the festival with him, he’ll definitely be happy. He used to tell us that he wished he had some relatives to visit during the holidays.
“You, Murong Chuyi… if only the two of you could spend some time with him.”
At the mention of Murong Chuyi, Yue Chenqing’s expression dimmed slightly.
“Fourth Uncle… Don’t even talk about how he’s treating Brother Jiang. Lately, he hasn’t been very nice to me either.
“I heard from the people in the residence that Fourth Uncle seems to be planning to move out of the Yue estate and live on his own.”