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Chapter 15

This entry is part 15 of 33 in the series Hard to Say What I Want

Every time Xu Ze had a fever, he would have many dreams. They were always more or less the same dreams, some good and some bad.

He was being led by the hand into that unfamiliar residential area.

A voice reminded him, “Be good. Don’t talk. When you see people, you have to smile, understand?”

Xu Ze raised his head, but he could not make out the other person’s face.

It was really hot in the dream, and Xu Ze had some difficulty breathing.

Suddenly, cold water was poured directly over his head. His vision became blurry, and beside his ear came a child’s shout:

“You deserve it!”

Xu Ze raised his hand to wipe his face, but no matter how much he wiped, he could not get it dry. Water kept flowing downward.

The surroundings suddenly became quiet again.

Someone was holding a tissue and gently wiping his face, saying to him, “It’s okay. I’ll stay with you until we dry off together.”

Xu Ze opened his mouth, wanting to answer, “Okay,” but he could not make any sound from his throat.

He struggled to open his eyes and saw a little light coming through the curtains.

His head felt unusually heavy.

Xu Ze took about half a minute to recover before remembering where he was.

He immediately turned his head toward the bed beside him.

Empty.

“Are you awake?”

Xu Ze followed the voice and looked up.

Lu Heyang was leaning against the table several meters away, but Xu Ze could not see his face clearly.

Xu Ze sat up and asked, “Are we going to be late?”

He realized that his voice was a little hoarse. His nose was congested, his head was dizzy, and his gland was faintly warm.

“No.”

Lu Heyang walked over and pulled the curtains open a crack.

“You had a fever during the middle of the night.”

So there was an explanation for the discomfort in his body.

But Xu Ze’s attention was completely focused on something else.

“Did I disturb you?”

Because of his blocked nose, Xu Ze’s voice had a slight nasal quality.

Lu Heyang stood in the strip of light coming through the curtains and looked outside. There had been a torrential rainstorm last night, but the weather was very good today.

He answered, “Mm. You did.”

The white bedsheet was suddenly clenched tightly in Xu Ze’s hands.

He was just about to apologize when he heard Lu Heyang continue:

“I took your temperature and gave you fever medicine.”

Xu Ze did not remember.

He had absolutely no memory of it.

The only scene he could recall was himself half-opening his eyes under the dim light of the wall lamp, with a blurry figure in front of him and something seemingly inside his mouth.

He had thought it was a dream.

“Than—”

Lu Heyang interrupted him in an utterly matter-of-fact tone.

“When I was taking your temperature, you licked my finger.”

Xu Ze completely froze.

“Get up and wash up. Pack your things, check out, and then have breakfast.”

Lu Heyang raised his hand and pulled the curtains halfway open. The room instantly became bright.

Xu Ze had completely lost the ability to think.

He could only blankly respond, “Okay.”

Even after breakfast was over, after they got into the car and arrived at the base, Xu Ze still had not come back to his senses.

He had no intention of forcing himself to remember the details from the middle of the night—licking his finger, how he had licked it, how long he had licked it.

None of that mattered.

Lu Heyang said he had licked it, so he had licked it.

Xu Ze believed him unconditionally.

They had lunch at the base cafeteria.

After eating, they got into the car to return to the Preparatory School.

When Xu Ze was leaving the cafeteria, he realized that the palm-sized notebook in his pants pocket was missing. It had probably fallen out of his pocket while he was eating.

He immediately turned back to look for it.

By coincidence, he ran into Lu Heyang alone at the entrance of the cafeteria. He Wei and Gu Yunchi were standing in front of the drink machine in the lobby.

Xu Ze lowered his head and walked past Lu Heyang, but Lu Heyang called out to him.

“Looking for something?”

Xu Ze stopped and raised his head.

Lu Heyang was holding the small notebook in his hand.

“An omega found it. Your name was written inside.”

“Thank you.”

Xu Ze reached out to take the notebook.

However, Lu Heyang moved his hand back slightly, causing Xu Ze to miss it.

Xu Ze looked momentarily confused.

Lu Heyang looked at him and asked, “Is your fever gone?”

It had already gone away, but the moment he brought it up, Xu Ze’s back immediately broke out in sweat, and he felt hot again.

It was an embarrassing discomfort that made him feel too ashamed to face him.

He turned his gaze slightly away, avoiding looking at Lu Heyang’s hand, and answered, “It’s gone.”

Only then did Lu Heyang hand the notebook back to him.

Xu Ze took it and paused.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Lu Heyang asked, seemingly seriously.

He was not smiling, but Xu Ze felt there was a trace of amusement in his eyes, something he could not quite figure out.

“I shouldn’t have… licked your…” Xu Ze said. He glanced at Lu Heyang, then quickly turned his head away. “Finger. I didn’t know anything at the time. I’m sorry.”

In Xu Ze’s eyes, it had been a very offensive thing to do, regardless of whether the other person was an alpha or an omega.

“You really didn’t know anything,” Lu Heyang said. “It’s okay. Don’t take it to heart.”

Xu Ze looked up at him.

Lu Heyang’s expression appeared completely natural, unlike someone who was secretly harboring some ulterior thought.

Xu Ze pressed his lips together and nodded, relieved that Lu Heyang had not taken the matter to heart.

They returned to the Preparatory School a little after four in the afternoon.

The moment He Wei got off the school bus, he complained that his neck hurt and said he had to go home and sleep immediately. He could not wait even a moment.

He carried his travel bag toward the parking lot, but after only a few steps, he stopped and turned around.

Looking incredulously at Lu Heyang and Gu Yunchi, who were standing side by side where they were, he asked, “You two aren’t seriously going back to class for the last period, are you?”

“No,” Lu Heyang said. “It’s Friday.”

He Wei looked confused.

“So?”

“We’re going to the west side of the city.” Gu Yunchi answered while typing on his phone. “I’m booking a place now. I’ll give you three seconds to decide whether you’re coming.”

As soon as Gu Yunchi finished speaking, Lu Heyang calmly began counting down.

“Three, two…”

He Wei was completely unable to resist their urging.

“Going, going, going! I’m going!”

Then, looking over Lu Heyang’s shoulder, he suddenly said, “Xu Ze, you’re still going back to class?”

Lu Heyang and Gu Yunchi turned around.

Xu Ze was walking toward the school gate with his backpack on.

When he heard He Wei call him, Xu Ze turned around. The intense sunset illuminated his face, yet somehow gave him a clean, cool feeling.

This time, Xu Ze did not look at Lu Heyang. He simply nodded at He Wei.

“I still have one class.”

“You’re really hardworking,” He Wei exclaimed. “If you were my dad’s son, he’d be so happy.”

It was an offhand joke, but Xu Ze’s expression suddenly stiffened for half a second.

Then he said, “I’ll go first.”

“Bye-bye!” He Wei waved at him.

Xu Ze had only walked about two meters when he heard He Wei ask Lu Heyang in a mischievous tone:

“Who was that omega who called you last time? Why don’t you invite her out today so we can take a look?”

“You really want to meet her?” Lu Heyang asked.

Xu Ze lowered his eyes to the ground and quickened his pace.

Very soon, he could no longer hear what they were saying.

“Yeah, yeah! I want to see her!” He Wei nodded enthusiastically.

“But you’ve already met her,” Lu Heyang said.

He Wei’s eyes widened.

Lu Heyang continued, “You see her in the news all the time, too.”

The corners of He Wei’s mouth began to twitch.

Lu Heyang finally said, “Her name is Lu Qingmo.”

“Oh… So it’s our beautiful diplomat, Sister Lu.”

He Wei could no longer smile.

“I knew it. How could you possibly… Forget it. I’m just too innocent. Innocent people always get hurt.”

“You’re sick,” Gu Yunchi said.

After the three of them finished dinner, they changed cars and drove to the west side of the city.

When they got off the elevator and entered the club, Lu Heyang was bumped by a tall, heavily built alpha.

The other man could not even be bothered to apologize and simply continued walking without looking back.

“Did he do that on purpose?” He Wei asked quietly.

“No.”

Lu Heyang turned his head slightly and saw that the alpha had already reached a corner.

Several people were standing there.

Among them, an alpha in a black shirt had his back to them, one hand resting on a nearby arcade machine, a cigar held between his fingers.

“The guy who bumped into you is a bodyguard,” He Wei said, quite perceptive when it came to this sort of thing. “Someone important probably came tonight. We should be careful.”

Once they entered the venue, they found that it was packed.

Gu Yunchi had booked seats in the first row.

Only a few minutes after the three of them sat down, the first match began.

Lu Heyang noticed that one of the VIP seats had remained empty the entire time.

Not long after the second match began, four alphas emerged from a small passageway and walked toward the VIP seat.

The alpha in the center was wearing a black shirt. He sat down on the sofa, while the other three stood guard behind the seat.

The lights in the venue had already dimmed, making it impossible to see the man’s appearance clearly.

“Tang Feiyi.”

Gu Yunchi took a sip of water and said calmly, “So it’s him.”

Lu Heyang was not unfamiliar with the name.

Tang Feiyi’s father had once been a gangster who dealt in weapons and drugs. Later, he used business to launder his assets and had competed with the Gu family in the business world.

However, the Gu family was powerful enough that it had not been affected in any way.

Now Tang Feiyi had taken over most of the family business. On one hand, he cultivated the image of a businessman; on the other, he continued the family’s old line of work, moving back and forth between the legitimate and criminal worlds.

He was the kind of person who was not easy to mess with.

“Here comes the gossip.”

He Wei held up his phone. The guy selling tickets had already finished giving him a detailed rundown.

“Tang Feiyi is also one of the investors in the underground club. He rented this boxing arena exclusively, so you could say he’s the big boss here. And every time he comes, he places a bet himself. His bet is always the biggest one of the night.”

“For the past few months, he’s only been betting on one person every time.”

He Wei raised his head.

“Guess who?”

The moment he finished speaking, a whistle sounded.

The second match ended.

The large screen displayed the names of the two fighters in the next match.

One of them was No. 17.

The lights brightened slightly.

Lu Heyang turned his head and saw Tang Feiyi’s face.

It was a very young face, with the corners of his mouth slightly raised and narrow eyes that carried a sickly, sinister air.

Tang Feiyi was leaning back on the sofa with his legs crossed, slowly spinning a saddle ring on the ring finger of his right hand.

His head was tilted upward as he stared at the name of the fighter displayed on the large screen.

“Seriously? Who doesn’t know Tang Feiyi likes playing with alphas?” He Wei said indignantly. “How many of them has he already ruined? Is he planning to go after No. 17 now?!”

Lu Heyang moved his gaze away from Tang Feiyi’s face and looked at the large screen as well. Besides the fighter’s name, the screen also displayed the largest bettor for this match—Tang.

“My No. 17, with his great body, young age, and fighting skills, sob…” He Wei was still lamenting when the lights dimmed and the third match was about to begin.

Before Lu Heyang could turn his attention toward the fighters’ entrance, He Wei suddenly swore loudly.

“Fuck! What is this?! What the hell is this?!”

Immediately afterward came the loudest and sharpest burst of cheering Lu Heyang had heard all night.

He saw Tang Feiyi lower his legs, lean forward, and stare toward the fighters’ entrance with an indescribable smile on his face.

Hard to Say What I Want

Chapter 14 Chapter 16

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