AU Extra: A Young Man’s Illusory Dream (14)
Gu Mang didn’t have time to finish his thought. The light around him began twisting and churning again, but this time the scene did not settle quickly. All he could see were blurry fragments flashing past—
“I told you, I don’t want to go out to the temple fair. I want to learn plain weaving from Godmother.” The girl’s voice was young and soft, yet stubborn. “You go by yourself.”
“What’s the point if you don’t go?” Lin Yun muttered. “Come on, I’ll buy you a sugar painting.”
“I don’t want one. Hmph. Who’s like you, doing nothing but goofing off all day? Godfather has been teaching you for a whole month, and you still can’t mix indigo dye properly.”
She pulled a face at him.
“Bleh, bleh, bleh. Pig brain.”
The scene shifted again.
It was the bank of a willow-lined river. The village opera was in full swing, while golden-red fireworks burst explosively across the night sky before spreading into countless sparkling fragments like the trailing tails of brilliant fish.
The two of them, now a little older, watched the fireworks overhead and their reflections in the lake as dragonflies skimmed low around them.
Su Qiao sat on the edge of the bridge, swinging her goose-yellow embroidered shoes. Her petal-soft lips moved as she told Lin Yun a joke, though every time she got halfway through it, she would burst into laughter herself.
Her joke went something like this:
“Hehehe, let me tell you—haha—a long time ago there was a person, and he—pfft, hahahaha… Then because he stuttered, hahaha, you know! And then he went hahahahahahaha—oh my gosh, this is killing me! I’m laughing so hard I’m crying!”
As she spoke, she actually wiped at the corners of her bright, sparkling eyes.
“Hey, why aren’t you laughing?”
So Lin Yun obligingly put on a smile.
Satisfied, Su Qiao ruffled his hair.
“That’s more like it. Let me tell you another one. This one’s even funnier, hahahaha—”
Such youthful innocence and childhood companionship flowed before Gu Mang’s eyes like rushing water.
The boy and girl matured like figures in a shadow puppet play, gradually growing older.
From little children with their hair tied in tufts to young people in the bloom of youth, in Lin Yun’s memories, he had always secretly loved Su Qiao.
But from beginning to end, Su Qiao never understood his feelings.
She joked with him, drank with him, and confided in him. She regarded him as the person closest to her in the entire world.
As for anything beyond familial affection, she seemed not to understand it at all.
“Qiao-mei, come out for a walk with me. The weather’s so nice. Don’t always work yourself so hard. You’ll wear yourself out.”
But Su Qiao always said,
“Forget it, forget it. I’m so damn busy.”
“Why do you work yourself so hard all the time? It’s not like we’re so poor we can’t even afford to eat.”
She shook the threads on the loom and lowered her head with a smile.
“I’ve been scared of being poor. Terrified of it.”
She truly was terrified of poverty.
She had no spiritual root and no money.
When she was healthy, she could just barely scrape by. But once illness or disaster struck, someone like her had only one option left: helplessly await death.
It wasn’t that this world had no way to save a life.
At the Shennong Terrace Medical Hall in Chonghua’s imperial capital, there were spirit medicines capable of curing hundreds of illnesses and immortal herbs capable of extending one’s lifespan, all neatly displayed on the shelves.
They simply came with prices that an ordinary commoner could never afford.
The people of the town were born in waves and died in waves.
In this barren, miasma-ridden land, anyone who lived to forty should be burning incense and giving thanks before their ancestral graves.
Su Qiao saw all of this with her own eyes, and an inexplicable anxiety often gnawed at her heart.
Especially whenever she heard the helpless cries of young children when their fathers or mothers died, she became even more unable to stop her hands from spinning thread.
It was as though that slender thread were the only life-saving straw she could hold onto.
For its sake, she was willing to lower her head before wealthy young masters and smile apologetically at young ladies.
“Would you like to order some clothes? Our family’s craftsmanship is very good.”
She was always working desperately to drum up business, tirelessly bent over her loom.
Her shoes were the most beautifully embroidered and sold the best, so she spent years repeating the same sequence of movements:
Bending down.
Kneeling before customers.
Carefully supporting those pairs of noble feet with her slender hands.
Patiently measuring their sizes.
She was more unfortunate than Lin Yun.
More mature than Lin Yun.
Stronger than Lin Yun.
But she was also carrying far, far more anxiety than Lin Yun…
Day after day, she became increasingly obsessive and increasingly anxious.
The final scene in this stretch of memory was Su Qiao arguing with Lin Yun over something.
“When are you finally going to grow up?!”
“And you? When are you going to understand me…?”
The young man’s lips trembled. His usually gentle eyes were faintly red.
“I…”
“You what? All you know how to do is play around all day! What? Can’t you even speak properly now?!”
Lin Yun looked as though he’d been choked by a cold steamed bun left overnight.
The redness suddenly spread beyond his eyes to his entire face.
His cheeks flushed crimson as he stared at her.
He seemed furious.
Or perhaps heartbroken.
But he was ultimately too soft-hearted.
All that anger and hurt finally dissolved into a single hard swallow.
“Fine.”
He finally said awkwardly and miserably,
“I’m sorry. It was my fault. I got in your way.”
The scene shattered.
There had been too many arguments like this.
Each time, her furious voice now intertwined with all the others, crashing together like a huge stone thrown into water.
Every light, beautiful image was shattered.
Foam scattered in every direction.
Darkness rose.
When the scene before Gu Mang finally became clear again, Su Qiao was nowhere to be seen.
Lin Yun was alone in Chonghua’s imperial capital.
He carried a shabby cloth bundle on his back and stood somewhat helplessly amid the bustling traffic, staring at the grand streets.
He remained frozen there for quite some time before timidly moving forward.
“Sir, are you hiring?”
“Shopkeeper, do you still need any help?”
He went around in circles like a spinning top.
After finally summoning the courage to enter those imposing shops in the imperial capital and ask if they were hiring, he was promptly chased out.
This only made his already nervous tongue stumble even more.
When Gu Mang noticed him peeking nervously around the doorway of the third pastry shop, his legs were already trembling.
Unfortunately, the shop assistant had no sense at all. Mistaking him for a customer, he called out,
“Flower cakes for sale! Flower cakes! Red bean paste, sesame, peanuts, almonds, eight-treasure—everything you could want! What can I get you, sir?”
Lin Yun hurriedly waved his hands.
“I’m not a sir…”
Hearing such a serious, earnest answer, several customers found it amusing and glanced over at him while choosing their pastries.
The shop assistant was still smiling as he changed his wording.
“Oh, then—a young master? How about buying something? The freshly steamed flower cakes taste wonderful. Come on, have some.”
Lin Yun became even more nervous.
He had intended to say, I’m not a young master, and I don’t want any flower cakes.
But because he stuttered, what came out was:
“I’m not a flower cake. I don’t want to buy a young master.”
The moment he finished speaking, he realized what he’d said.
The back of his neck immediately turned bright red.
Among the customers buying pastries was a young woman wearing a peach-red jacket and an apricot-yellow mamian skirt.
At his words, she burst out laughing.
Her bright, expressive eyes turned toward him with interest.
Lin Yun nervously glanced at her and seemed even more embarrassed.
He practically mumbled,
“I just came to ask… whether your shop needs any help…”
The shop assistant immediately realized that he was there to compete for his job.
His face darkened at once.
“Shoo, shoo! You can’t even tell ‘young master’ from ‘cake,’ and you still want to steal my job? If you’re not buying anything, get lost.”
Lin Yun lowered his head and walked out.
He hadn’t gone far when he suddenly heard the crisp jingle-jangle of jade ornaments behind him.
A clear female voice called out,
“Hey, wait.”
Lin Yun turned around.
It was the young woman who had laughed inside the shop.
He lowered his head obediently.
“Hello, Miss.”
The young woman smiled.
“You just arrived in the imperial capital and you’re looking for work?”
“Yes.”
“Where are you from?”
“Liansheng Town.”
“Oh, what a terrible place.”
The woman pursed her lips.
“You came here to make money?”
This time, Lin Yun didn’t answer immediately.
He was silent for a long while before finally saying, with considerable difficulty and embarrassment,
“I…”
He bit his lip.
Almost as though he were speaking to himself, he forced himself to say,
“I came to the imperial capital because I… I want to make something of myself.”
After he said it, his ears were practically glowing red.
He lowered his head, waiting for the woman to mock him.
But after a long while, he heard no sharp or contemptuous words.
Slowly, he raised his head.
She was looking him over with an expression that was half amused and half curious.
“Are you careful with details? If you are, that’s perfect. My family is opening a branch, and that shop will be under my management. I’m just short of a bookkeeper’s assistant. You look honest enough, and you’re kind of interesting too.”
The young woman blinked.
“Want to come work for me?”
By this point, Gu Mang understood.
This young woman was presumably the daughter of the great merchant family of the imperial capital—the Bai family’s young lady.
In other words, Bai Rouxia, who would later become Lin Yun’s wife.
But once again, this was beyond anything Gu Mang had expected.
Although the Bai family wasn’t of noble birth, they were extremely skilled at business.
They collected rare treasures from all over the world for cultivators, while in return, cultivators sold them certain magical artifact materials at the lowest possible prices.
Gradually, the Bai family opened numerous branch shops throughout Chonghua’s cities and towns, becoming one of the great merchant families among the common people of Chonghua.
In Gu Mang’s impression, the Bai family was extremely cold-blooded.
An anti-plague magical artifact that should have cost only a hundred shell coins would be sold by them for five hundred.
Those who could afford it used it.
Those who couldn’t afford it died.
After all, there was nowhere else for commoners to obtain better magical artifacts.
Families like the Yue family and the Jiang Apothecary Residence generally only supplied the nobility.
So Gu Mang had previously assumed Bai Rouxia must be the miserly sort.
He had even wondered whether Lin Yun had become distant from his biological parents after marrying into the Bai family because of Bai Rouxia’s influence.
And he had also wondered why the Bai family’s young lady would lower herself to marry such a poor boy.
But now, seeing all of this, he finally understood somewhat.
A dull, poor boy and a curious rich girl.
Perhaps there were things about each other that attracted them into one another’s lives.
The scene continued turning.
It showed the years from when Bai Rouxia and Lin Yun first met, to when they became companions, and from companionship to true understanding.
Bai Rouxia was bright, kind, playful, and lively.
She was completely different from Su Qiao.
Every scene involving her was bathed in warm golden light, accompanied by her carefree laughter.
In Lin Yun’s memories, meanwhile, that stubborn, fiercely ambitious embroiderer rarely ever rested and was rarely gentle.
It wasn’t that Su Qiao wasn’t kind.
She often took the money she earned from embroidery and went to the street to buy large quantities of flatbread, delivering them house by house to children who had lost their parents.
But Su Qiao saw the hardships of life too clearly.
Or perhaps she had been immersed in that hardship for so long that she had no choice but to remain clear-eyed.
She couldn’t rest.
She couldn’t stop.
Her figure seemed to have been sewn directly onto the loom.
There was always a fire burning in her eyes.
From afar, it was almost as though a single sentence had been deeply carved into her face:
I refuse to accept this. I will make something of myself.
Two women were equally beautiful.
One was covered in thorns.
The other was as gentle as a trailing vine.
Lin Yun had held that thorn-covered flower for so long, hoping and waiting for it to bloom.
But its petals remained tightly closed, its beauty never revealing itself.
In the end, he simply couldn’t hold it anymore.
No one knew what year it was when everything finally settled.
Lin Yun and Bai Rouxia were finally married.
The night before the wedding, Lin Yun was clumsily and earnestly counting the wedding gifts he had prepared at the old Lin family home in Liansheng Town—gifts that were almost laughably modest by the Bai family’s standards.
His marriage to Bai Rouxia had naturally not gone smoothly.
Bai Rouxia’s parents had already passed away, and now her elder brother was the one in charge.
Her brother was deeply disgusted that his sister insisted on marrying such a poor, stupid boy whose only good feature was his face.
After repeatedly trying to stop the marriage and failing, he finally threw out one word:
“Blind.”
“You’re the blind one! He’s so adorably stupid!”
Bai Rouxia argued angrily with her brother.
“I spend every day watching you people scheme against each other in business, watching you suck up to Jiang the Apothecary and flatter Master Yue. It’s so annoying! I just like honest, simple people.”
Bai’s elder brother said coldly,
“Then you might as well marry a pig. Pigs are even simpler.”
But despite saying that, he eventually agreed to his sister marrying the poor boy.
He didn’t, however, forget to mock his future brother-in-law.
“I’ve always been curious. What kind of material could possibly be hard enough to forge skin as thick as yours? You actually have the nerve to come marry into my Bai family. Besides that delicate little face of yours, what exactly do you have to offer?”
Lin Yun genuinely thought Young Master Bai was questioning whether he was sincere about the marriage.
His face turned bright red as he stammered,
“B-Big Brother, I-I-I also have a sincere heart…”
Bai’s elder brother was utterly speechless.
“Fine. Very rich.”
Lin Yun still hadn’t realized, even on the night before his wedding, that the man was mocking him for being poor.
His parents were overjoyed, yet also deeply worried.
“They already looked down on the betrothal gifts before. Even though you’re marrying into their family, you’re still the one marrying their daughter. Are the gifts you’re adding yourself too little…?”
“Sigh. Even now, it still feels like a dream. The Bai family may not be nobles, but among ordinary people, they’re practically the richest family around… How did their daughter even take a liking to you?”
“Mom…”
“Yun’er, do you think they’re going to butcher you and sell you?”
Just as Lin Yun was awkwardly trying to mumble some sort of response, footsteps suddenly sounded from upstairs.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
Gu Mang looked up together with the Lin family.
Su Qiao was coming down the stairs.
Perhaps because the light was dim.
Perhaps because Lin Yun’s emotions had been so complicated that he hadn’t dared to commit her appearance too deeply to memory.
Gu Mang couldn’t clearly make out the expression on her face.
Not until she walked right up to them, stepping out of the shadows.
Su Qiao was smiling.
She smiled as boldly and cheerfully as she always had, but there was also something gentler in it, something rarely seen before.
The candlelight reflected warmly against her cheeks.
She truly was as beautiful as a peach blossom in spring.
“Look at you! Didn’t I always tell you that you were lazy and had no ambition? How embarrassing! You’re getting married and can’t even come up with a decent wedding gift.”
Laughing as she scolded him, she pushed a box made of zelkova wood into his arms.
“Take it! Let me put a little shine on your face, you stupid blockhead…”
When the box was opened, inside was a magnificent bridal robe embroidered with gold and silver threads.
Colorful butterflies seemed to flutter across the robe, their wings shimmering brilliantly.
Pearls and pieces of jade adorned it.
The fabric was the finest Sichuan brocade, smooth as flowing water beneath one’s fingertips.
“How is it? Isn’t it pretty?”
Lin Yun stared blankly at her.
After a long while, he said,
“This… must have been very expensive…”
“Yes, I know it was expensive. I spent all the savings I’d accumulated over all these years.”
Su Qiao nodded without the slightest hesitation.
“Take it and make yourself look good.”
The Lin couple also came back to their senses.
“Qiao’er…”
“How could you… You must have spent so many years working just to make this one garment…”
Su Qiao looked impatient.
“Oh, all right, all right. What’s the big deal?”
She slapped Lin Yun lightly on the chest and laughed.
“Our little Lin is about to become the Bai family’s son-in-law. Do you think I care about this little bit of money?”
“Oh, you’d better remember how good I’ve been to you. And make sure Miss Bai remembers how good I’ve been to her too.”
The more she spoke, the happier she became, her face radiant with delight.
“We’re moving up in the world! Moving up! From now on, we’ll have a big tree to lean against! Hahahaha!”
Lin Yun silently looked at her.
Then silently looked at the clothes inside the box.
With embroidery like this, he didn’t know how long it must have taken her to sew every single stitch.
He said,
“Qiao-mei…”
“Don’t bother with polite words. You’re making it formal.”
Su Qiao covered his mouth with one hand and, for good measure, smacked Lin Yun twice on the head.
“Good brother, let me bully you a little more. Once you become the Bai family’s son-in-law, I won’t be able to bully you anymore.”
Her eyes sparkled beneath the lamplight, as though they held an almost excessive abundance of light.
“Honestly… I’ve been bullying you since we were little. It feels a little strange all of a sudden. Hahaha.”
She released her hand from Lin Yun’s mouth.
Lin Yun said awkwardly,
“I’ll still let you hit me.”
“…”
“If you stop hitting me, I probably won’t be used to it either.”
Su Qiao’s smile froze for a moment.
The light in her eyes trembled more and more violently.
The Lin couple exchanged a glance and made an excuse to leave.
The little embroidery room was left with only the childhood companions who had grown up together.
“Look at what you’re saying.”
Su Qiao forced out two laughs.
“Come, come. Let me teach you. Listen carefully. From now on, only your wife is allowed to hit you. No other girl is allowed to. Got it?”
Lin Yun obediently nodded despite not understanding why.
After a while, he looked at her again.
“Qiao-mei, bring your parents to the imperial capital to have fun sometime. You can come visit us whenever you want. No matter how long you want to stay in the imperial capital, we’ll keep you company.”
His tone was still the same awkward, almost foolishly sincere tone he had possessed as a child.
He clumsily invited her.
Only the “I” in his sentence had become “we.”
And the person included in that “we” was no longer Su Qiao.
It was another girl.
“As long as you’re happy.”
Su Qiao listened and smiled.
She lowered her head.
With her hands behind her back, she rubbed her fingertips together.
Gu Mang noticed that the tips of her fingers were cracked, probably from rushing to finish the bridal robe.
Lin Yun was still earnestly promising her.
“As long as you…”
Su Qiao remained silent.
But then her emotions suddenly surged.
She abruptly interrupted him and raised her face.
An unusual light flickered in her eyes, and even her voice trembled.
“Then… then what if I—”
Then she saw the bridal clothes in his arms.
The strange light in her eyes froze for a moment.
Slowly, it disappeared.
She no longer had the courage to continue.
Lin Yun looked at her blankly.
“What if you… what?”
Su Qiao was silent for a while.
Finally, she shook her head.
“Nothing.”
She tried to change the subject, forcing a smile.
“Oh, right. Speaking of which, if I go to the Bai family’s shops in the imperial capital to buy magical artifacts in the future, can I get a discount?”
“Of course.”
“That’s wonderful. With someone like you coming out of Liansheng Town, I guess our hard days are finally over.”
Su Qiao was genuinely happy.
“From now on, there shouldn’t be people dying because they caught evil energy that couldn’t be driven away anymore…”
“Mm.”
“I’ll take care of your parents. They’re just like my own parents. Don’t worry. You don’t need to come back and visit all the time. Spend more time with Miss Bai.”
“…”
“Girls like having someone around.”
Su Qiao paused before suddenly saying those words.
She seemed somewhat dazed as she said them, but quickly recovered.
She lowered her head and rubbed her fingers together.
“That’s about it. Go get yourself ready and get some rest early. I’ll go get back to work too. I have to help carry the wedding gifts tomorrow. You know, I’ve always been strong since I was little.”
Lin Yun silently watched her.
Then he said,
“Qiao-mei, someday there’ll be someone to keep you company too.”
Su Qiao froze.
“Me? Forget it. Look at my temper. Hahaha. No way. I’m busy.”
“I don’t go to fairs, I don’t know how to tell jokes, I’m fierce all day long, and I’m obsessed with money.”
As she spoke, Su Qiao walked upstairs.
“I…”
Her voice suddenly caught.
She paused on the stairs.
Then she abruptly quickened her pace, almost fleeing as she ran upstairs.
“I’m busy… I’m too busy…”
I only have these two hands, yet I have to embroider the sun and moon, dawn and dusk, rivers and mountains stretching for thousands of miles.
But you see, it’s worth it.
Because people are born into different lives.
I have too little.
I can only fight for it with everything I have.
Only then, when you need something, can I say, “I can give it to you.”
Only then can I take care of myself, take care of Godfather and Godmother, and save up just a little spare money.
Only then can I make a magnificent new bridal dress for the woman this foolish boy is marrying—one beautiful enough to make her smile.