Xu Ze sat in the passenger seat, spending the entire ride reflecting on what he had done to give himself away.
“Didn’t you already take a test?” Lu Heyang suddenly asked, keeping his eyes on the road. “What was the result?”
The pregnancy test box had been opened, and one test stick was missing, which meant Xu Ze had already tested once.
Xu Ze lowered his head, looking just like someone being interrogated. He didn’t know how the pregnancy test had been discovered either. Lu Heyang definitely wouldn’t have gone through his backpack. The zipper must not have been closed properly, and the test stick had fallen out by itself.
“Those things aren’t accurate,” Xu Ze said quietly.
He thought he’d answered rather cautiously, but Lu Heyang had already figured it out. Saying those things aren’t accurate was equivalent to admitting that the result showed two lines.
Seeing that Lu Heyang had fallen silent again, Xu Ze intertwined his fingers. After carefully considering his words, he said, “You don’t need to worry. Even if an alpha really… gets pregnant, there’s no way to give birth to the child. It has to be terminated immediately. It won’t cause you any trouble.”
“Mm. As long as it doesn’t cause me any trouble, that’s good,” Lu Heyang replied mildly.
It was clearly a calm and composed answer, but for some reason, it made Xu Ze feel even more uneasy.
Lu Heyang continued, “So you also took a card from an abortion clinic.”
“The pharmacy staff put it in there. I didn’t take it.”
“But if you really are pregnant, you’d consider going there.”
Xu Ze wanted to say no, but he didn’t have much confidence in that answer. His mind was rather muddled at the moment, so he simply nodded. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
The car felt a little stuffy because Lu Heyang hadn’t turned on the air conditioning. Perhaps he’d forgotten. He lowered the window, and the wind blew inside. Lu Heyang glanced out the window before turning his gaze back to the road. His hands gripped the steering wheel, his knuckles taut.
“Xu Ze,” he said, sounding as though he were asking a question and sighing at the same time. “What on earth are you thinking?”
He wasn’t thinking about anything in particular. Xu Ze was used to this. He had always made his own decisions, solved problems whenever they arose, and accepted that he might have to pay a price for it. He simply didn’t want trivial matters to affect Lu Heyang or distract him.
Taking care of your own problems yourself. It was a very simple principle.
However, Xu Ze didn’t say that. He had a feeling that if he called these things trivial matters, Lu Heyang might actually scold him.
Lu Heyang didn’t speak again for the rest of the drive. More than half an hour later, the car stopped outside a secluded private hospital. Lu Heyang made a phone call.
“We’re here.”
“Everything’s arranged,” Gu Yunchi said. “Sign my name when the time comes.”
“Okay.”
The license plate hadn’t been registered in the hospital’s system. The security guard glanced at it, then immediately pressed the remote control to open the gate. A doctor was already waiting outside the lobby.
Xu Ze didn’t really process anything throughout the entire process. Like a piece of wood, he was led from one place to another, had his blood drawn, had his pheromones collected, and underwent an ultrasound. While they waited for the results, Lu Heyang even took the opportunity to have a nurse check Xu Ze’s eyesight.
“These are false pregnancy symptoms,” the doctor concluded.
Xu Ze sat in his chair, staring into space for three seconds before asking, “So there’s nothing to worry about now?”
“There’s no major problem, but if we leave it untreated, your body will continue to believe that it’s pregnant. Your hormone and pheromone levels will drift further and further away from normal. Eventually, your breasts will enlarge, and you’ll even start producing breast milk. Can you accept that?”
Even the moment when the test had shown two lines hadn’t shocked Xu Ze as much as this did. For a moment, he couldn’t tell whether the doctor was seriously asking for his opinion. If so, what was there even to ask?
Xu Ze blinked once, as though his thoughts had momentarily stalled, then turned to look at Lu Heyang. He discovered that Lu Heyang was looking at him too. There wasn’t the slightest smile on his face, yet Xu Ze somehow felt that he was laughing.
“The doctor asked you a question,” Lu Heyang kindly reminded him.
“…” Xu Ze said, “I can’t accept that.”
“Then I’ll prescribe some medication for you. Take it on schedule, and pay attention to your diet for the time being. Also, I recommend using condoms. False pregnancy in alphas is already quite rare, but it may be due to the other alpha’s… uh, various factors. To prevent the false pregnancy from happening again, you need to be careful in this regard. At the very least, don’t ejaculate inside him. Theoretically speaking, an alpha who has experienced false pregnancy symptoms may also have a higher chance of becoming pregnant.”
At the mention of the other alpha, Lu Heyang nodded. “All right. Understood.”
The doctor placed a signature pad in front of Xu Ze. “Please sign here.”
“Write Gu Yunchi,” Lu Heyang gently reminded Xu Ze.
The stylus slipped in Xu Ze’s hand twice before he managed to grip it properly. Lowering his head, he wrote Gu Yunchi’s name on the electronic signature screen.
Signing Gu Yunchi’s name meant that the report would be sent directly to Gu Yunchi. It would then be permanently and completely deleted from this hospital’s system, ensuring that no one could ever find it afterward. This was the absolute confidentiality procedure the Gu family had established for all of Gu Yunchi’s medical records.
“Also, you’re a little nearsighted. We’ll prepare a pair of corrective glasses for you. They’ll probably be ready in about three days, and we’ll send them to your school,” the doctor added.
“There’s no need. It’s not serious,” Xu Ze said.
“I’ve noticed that you tend to squint habitually. You should get a pair,” Lu Heyang said. “Wear them when you’re looking at the big screen during class.”
Xu Ze didn’t know how Lu Heyang had noticed that he tended to squint. He nodded and didn’t refuse again. “Okay. Thank you.”
On the way back, Xu Ze still had the demeanor of someone being interrogated, sitting properly in the passenger seat. Lu Heyang rolled up the window, turned on the air conditioning, inserted a straw into the nutritional supplement the hospital had provided, and handed it to Xu Ze before starting the car.
It was only tonight that Lu Heyang realized that no matter how obedient and trusting Xu Ze appeared in front of him, the real Xu Ze was actually a rather difficult problem to solve. He had an obstinate streak in everything, always insisting on doing things his own way. He was like a silent lake that never spoke, skilled at wearing himself down, accustomed to setting aside a part of himself as a means of solving problems, and unable to perceive his own suffering.
Lu Heyang had no idea what method Xu Ze was planning to use this time to scrape together the six hundred thousand. He didn’t intend to ask. Whatever the answer was, it certainly wouldn’t be anything pleasant.
“The doctor said you need to watch your diet, so from now on, I’ll have someone deliver all three meals every day. If you insist on continuing to work at the auto repair shop, I have no objections. But for your safety, you aren’t allowed to ride your own bike to school or work anymore. The bodyguards will drive you there and pick you up.” After saying all that, Lu Heyang added, “You can refuse, too.”
What an unusually open-minded and accommodating multiple-choice question. Xu Ze immediately felt relieved. He was just about to politely decline when Lu Heyang continued, “But I won’t agree to it.”
“…Okay,” Xu Ze said. Then he asked quietly, “Are you still angry?”
Two seconds passed before Lu Heyang gave a faint smile. “I’m not angry.”
“It’s not your fault anyway,” he said.
Xu Ze reflected on his actions. “But I didn’t tell you anything.”
“Oh.” Lu Heyang wore a somewhat enlightened expression and turned to glance at him. “So you do know that you should tell me.”
Xu Ze held the nutritional supplement in both hands, not knowing what to say. Lu Heyang turned the steering wheel halfway and continued, “It’s fine. If you don’t want to tell me, then don’t. I can only have people keep a closer eye on you. Otherwise, you’ll go off and do something reckless again. Can you understand why I’m doing this?”
How could he not understand? Xu Ze already felt so guilty that he wouldn’t have minded even if Lu Heyang locked him up. Compared with Lu Heyang’s tolerance, generosity, and magnanimity, Xu Ze knew that he had behaved terribly this time.
“I understand,” Xu Ze said. “I won’t do anything reckless again.”
Lu Heyang glanced out the car window and pressed his lips together. A moment later, he turned his head back. His tone remained as calm as before.
“Mm.”
After returning home, Xu Ze remembered that Lu Heyang had said earlier that he was hungry. He headed toward the kitchen and said with his back to Lu Heyang, “I’ll go cook some noodles.”
“Are you a little disappointed?” Lu Heyang suddenly asked.
Xu Ze stopped walking. After a while, he turned around, his eyes lowered.
“Alphas can’t have children in the first place.”
Because he knew this basic fact, he had never allowed himself to hope. Xu Ze had already tried his best to keep his expectations under control. He couldn’t give birth anyway. Even if he could, now was certainly not the right time. And most importantly, it would bring Lu Heyang a great deal of trouble.
So not being pregnant was the best and most appropriate outcome. Yet Xu Ze still felt a contradictory sense of emptiness.
His life was supposed to have been very uneventful. He would stay by his only remaining family member, his grandmother, harbor his feelings for Lu Heyang—feelings he could never confess—and simply go through each day in order. But perhaps Lu Heyang’s appearance had made him greedy. He had actually become disappointed when something that had never been realistic in the first place was confirmed to be impossible.
Lu Heyang said nothing. He simply held out his hand toward Xu Ze. Strangely enough, Xu Ze had still been managing to maintain his composure, but the moment he saw Lu Heyang reaching out to him, all his strength suddenly gave way. He took two steps forward and fell into Lu Heyang’s arms.
“Is it normal to feel disappointed?” Xu Ze asked, his face buried beside Lu Heyang’s neck, his voice muffled.
“It’s normal,” Lu Heyang told him.
Xu Ze said, “Okay,” then admitted, “I’m a little disappointed.”
“But fortunately, it didn’t happen,” he added. “Otherwise, it would have had to be terminated anyway.”
“No, it wouldn’t.” Lu Heyang held Xu Ze by the backs of his thighs, lifted him up to face him, and carried him toward the bedroom. “The baby could stay in your belly for a few months before being transferred to an artificial womb.”
Xu Ze had once heard his biology teacher mention artificial wombs. Only a handful of specialized institutions throughout the Alliance possessed this technology. The cost was exorbitantly high, and generally only high-ranking officials and wealthy families could obtain access to it and afford the expenses.
“But pregnancy is exhausting, and you’re the kind of person who would insist on going to school even while carrying a child.” Lu Heyang placed Xu Ze on the bed but didn’t straighten up. Instead, he supported himself with his hands and leaned over him. “If you agreed to take a year off from school—”
He raised one hand and slipped it beneath the hem of Xu Ze’s T-shirt, his fingertips lightly hooking around the waistband of his pants.
“It’s just that I haven’t had a chance to buy condoms yet.”
At first, these words sounded perfectly ordinary because Lu Heyang delivered them so casually, his expression as calm as ever. It took Xu Ze a long moment of staring at him before he finally understood what he meant.
Xu Ze’s first reaction was that this was absolutely not something Lu Heyang would normally think of. There was no rationality to it whatsoever.
“I…” Xu Ze didn’t know how to explain. He realized that Lu Heyang had said something so extreme and accommodating only because his own negative emotions had been too obvious. He wrapped his arms around Lu Heyang’s neck, drawing him down a little, and kissed his lower lip. In an apologetic tone, he said, “I won’t think about this anymore.”
Xu Ze saw Lu Heyang’s brows crease ever so slightly. Before he had time to consider whether it meant impatience or exhaustion, Lu Heyang pressed down on his hips and turned him over.
Lu Heyang said nothing. He pinned both of Xu Ze’s hands behind his lower back with one hand, then pulled his pants down.
…
The wind had picked up outside, but the room was hot. Xu Ze was barely conscious, panting as he licked his burning lips. His voice was a little hoarse.
“Where did you finish?”
His lower abdomen was sticky and wet. It should all be his own. Lu Heyang hadn’t ejaculated inside him this time. Xu Ze wanted to know where it had gone, but Lu Heyang still had both his hands pinned above his head, so he couldn’t reach down to feel.
Lu Heyang looked at him for a while before saying, “On your face.”
Xu Ze believed him, but he didn’t seem to feel anything on his face. He stuck out the tip of his tongue and futilely licked the corner of his mouth again, but didn’t taste anything.
“Is there any?” Xu Ze asked in confusion.
“Feel for yourself.” Lu Heyang released his hands.
A distinct ring of red marks had been left around Xu Ze’s wrists. Once his hands were free, the first thing he did wasn’t to touch his own face. Instead, with some difficulty, he raised one hand and used the back of it to wipe the sweat from Lu Heyang’s chin.
“I forgot to turn on the fan,” Xu Ze said. Then he touched his own face. “There’s nothing there.”
Lu Heyang caught Xu Ze’s fingers, which were still trembling slightly, and guided them downward, rubbing them against the area near the top of Xu Ze’s thighs.
“Here. Why are you looking for it?”
“I thought you hadn’t…”
“I wouldn’t.” Lu Heyang lowered his head and gave Xu Ze a very brief kiss. “Do you want to go wash up?”
Xu Ze shook his head, still preoccupied with the fact that Lu Heyang had said he was hungry. “I’ll go make you some noodles.”
“It’s too late. Maybe next time.” Lu Heyang stood beside the bed, picked up his clothes, and put them on.
“I’ll be going abroad the day after tomorrow. The second phase of training is about to begin.” Lu Heyang went to the desk to get some tissues. “Call me if anything happens. If I don’t answer, send me a message and leave a note. You can also go directly to the bodyguards. Don’t try to handle everything by yourself.”
“Okay,” Xu Ze said.
There wasn’t the slightest credibility to that answer. Lu Heyang simply smiled and let it pass. Xu Ze looked up at him for a while before finally asking, “About how long will you be gone?”
“More than twenty days. By then, you should be starting to prepare for your entrance exams.”
He hadn’t asked Xu Ze which schools he intended to apply to, but Xu Ze had already looked them up. The Alliance’s top military academies were all located in distant foreign countries, across straits or oceans.
It meant that the end wasn’t far away.
Thinking about this while everything was still relatively peaceful, Xu Ze wondered whether he was being too pessimistic. But then again, he had never really held an optimistic view of the situation.
There were already several tally marks in his notebook. Every day, after adding a new stroke, Xu Ze would count them all over again, like a greedy miser repeatedly checking and recounting the gold and silver treasures in his possession.
“Why doesn’t the bed creak anymore?” Lu Heyang suddenly asked.
“I fixed it,” Xu Ze said. Ever since that afternoon during summer vacation, when Lu Heyang had come here before leaving for summer camp and the bed had creaked for the entire afternoon because of them, Xu Ze had spent several hours the next day reinforcing it with nails and wooden boards. At the time, he still hadn’t been sure whether Lu Heyang would ever come back, but he had even put protective caps on all four bed legs.
Lu Heyang reached out and ruffled Xu Ze’s already messy hair until it was even more disheveled. “Is there anything you can’t fix?”
Thinking that Lu Heyang was trying to straighten his hair, Xu Ze sat perfectly still and replied, “Lots of things.”
Lu Heyang smiled and brushed Xu Ze’s cheek with the back of his hand. It was very hot.
“I’m leaving.”
“Mm.”
The car drove out of the residential complex and stopped by the roadside. Lu Heyang unlocked the passenger door, and Jiang Wen opened it and got in.
“There’s been a change in the project in the west of the city. It’s not impossible that it could end up in the hands of the Wei family,” Jiang Wen said. “Should we bring the matter with the club to light ahead of schedule?”
“It’s fine. Keep investigating. Find out everything you can about everyone connected to it.” Lu Heyang started the car. “Any leads on Xu Ming’s case?”
“It was a drug trafficking case, but all the information we can find is rather vague. If we dig deeper, we might alert the police department.”
“Who were the colleagues who carried out the mission with him?”
“We’ve only identified three so far. Two are currently working in the Alliance government, and one is in the Intelligence Bureau.”
They had all risen to positions of considerable authority. It would be even less likely to get anything out of them or uncover anything through an investigation. Lu Heyang said, “Organize the information we have so far and send me a copy.”
“Understood.”
“Uncle Wen, I’ll need you to make a trip abroad yourself in a few days. Go and meet with the He family.”
Jiang Wen nodded. “I’ll arrange for someone to take over my current responsibilities. I should be able to leave in two days.”
Originally, Lu Heyang hadn’t been particularly curious about what had happened to him before he turned ten. If he couldn’t remember, then he couldn’t remember. If it couldn’t be investigated, then so be it. But that day, beneath the tree beside the wall of the nursing home’s inpatient building, when he heard Xu Ze talk about his childhood, something had suddenly happened. In an instant, for no particular reason at all, Lu Heyang simply decided that he wanted to find out the truth.
Rather than continuing to fixate solely on the question of what exactly had happened to him, Lu Heyang had changed his perspective. Over the past ten years, Lu Chengyu had participated in two elections: one ten years ago for the Alliance Council’s Minister of Foreign Affairs, and another four years ago for the position of Chairman of the Alliance Council.
In the election ten years ago, Lu Chengyu’s opponent had been He Yi, the incumbent Minister of the Special Council. Within two years after Lu Chengyu won the election, members of the He family began disappearing from the Alliance and national governments one after another.
Imprisonment, dismissal from office, disciplinary action—resigning voluntarily was considered the most respectable outcome.
That was why Lu Heyang had decided to start with the He family this time. He learned that He Yi’s younger brother had settled in a small country. Although he was sorry to disturb him, he still wanted Jiang Wen to make the trip.
“Assign a few more people to keep an eye on Xu Ze. If he wants to do something, don’t try too hard to stop him. You might not be able to stop him anyway, though I doubt he’d actually fight you.” Lu Heyang smiled faintly. “Stay close. Don’t let him get hurt.”
“Understood.”
Gu Yunchi, upon receiving the examination report: Tsk, tsk.