Xiao Wen drove them to the luxury apartment where Pei Tingsong had been renting. Fang Juexia looked out the window. It had been more than two years, and he had never been to Pei Tingsong’s place. Their only interactions were at work and on business trips. Even at work, he was extremely cold toward Pei Tingsong, as if he didn’t exist, as if he didn’t see him.
They had managed to maintain this mutual tolerance for two years.
“We’re here.”
Fang Juexia responded with a nod, opened the car door, and got out first. But for some reason, Pei Tingsong didn’t get out. Seeing this, Fang Juexia leaned over to look inside. “Pei Tingsong, we’re here.”
Pei Tingsong lifted his head, shook it, and slowly climbed out of the car. As he stepped out of the door, he lost his balance and fell onto Fang Juexia like a tree uprooted from its roots.
Perhaps the alcohol had kicked in again; he felt that Pei Tingsong was worse off than before.
“Hey, slow down. You could still talk just now, couldn’t you?” Fang Juexia reached out to steady him and called Xiao Wen for help. The two of them helped him to the entrance of the apartment building, which had facial recognition technology. However, Pei Tingsong seemed exhausted and couldn’t keep his eyes open. Xiao Wen threw him onto Fang Juexia, then pried open Pei Tingsong’s eyelids with both hands and forced him to face the camera for recognition.
“It hurts.” Pei Tingsong’s temper flared, and he slapped Xiao Wen away. Fang Juexia was helpless and could only coax him, “Look, you have to be recognized to go up.”
After hearing this, Pei Tingsong turned his face toward Fang Juexia and blinked his eyes.
“It’s not me.” Fang Juexia held his face and turned it to the right, aiming it at the camera. “Look here.”
After a lot of effort, they finally made it upstairs. What surprised Fang Juexia was that Pei Tingsong’s apartment was much simpler than he had imagined. He had thought that a child from such a wealthy family would live in a luxurious high-rise apartment of several hundred square meters. It turned out he wasn’t that extravagant. The apartment was beautiful, with two bedrooms, two living rooms, and floor-to-ceiling windows, but the furniture was sparse. The living room had almost nothing except a long sofa, and everything else was empty.
It didn’t feel like a home at all.
“Juexia, you can stay here with him today. Here are some clean clothes and toiletries I brought from the dorm for you. I was originally going to use them at the hotel, but they’ll come in handy now,” Xiao Wen hurriedly helped Pei Tingsong sit down on the sofa and checked the time. “I still need to drive Lu Yuan to the airport.”
“Is he going to record a show?”
“Yes. I’m running late. I have to go.”
Fang Juexia walked him to the door. “Drive carefully.”
After closing the door, only the two of them remained in the house. He changed into his slippers, then took another pair and placed them on the floor in front of the sofa. “You should change your shoes too.”
Pei Tingsong hummed in response, kicked off his shoes, and took off his jacket. “It’s so hot.” He removed the black wool sweater he was wearing underneath with one hand, tossing it onto the sofa, leaving his upper body bare. He leaned back on the sofa.
His skin was fair, and after drinking, his entire body had turned red.
“You’ll catch a cold.” Fang Juexia sighed, took the jacket, and covered him with it, but as soon as he did, Pei Tingsong pulled it off. “It’s really hot.”
“The wool sweater is hot, but the jacket isn’t that hot.” Fang Juexia pulled him up, helped him put on the jacket, and zipped it up, but Pei Tingsong’s stubbornness got the better of him, and he unzipped it, revealing his abs.
Fang Juexia looked at his physique and felt curious. When did Pei Tingsong find time to work out? He had abs, chest muscles, and even a V-line. Fang Juexia danced every day and only had abs.
“You’re looking at me,” Pei Tingsong tilted his head and winked at Fang Juexia.
“No.” Fang Juexia stood up. “You rest here for a moment. I’ll go wash up first.”
The bathroom was quite spacious. Fang Juexia wasn’t comfortable leaving a drunk person outside, so he quickly took a shower and finished washing up in the shortest time possible. He considered whether to wash the clothes he had worn today, even though he had worn the costumes provided by the styling team for the show.
Let’s tidy up first. Fang Juexia picked up his jacket, shook it, and a piece of paper fell out, floating lightly onto his slippers.
He bent down to pick it up, glanced at it, and stuffed it into the pocket of his pajamas.
“I’m done with the bathroom.” He came out drying his hair, only to find that Pei Tingsong, who had been sitting on the sofa, was now standing up, both hands gripping the floor-to-ceiling window, as if looking out at something.
Fang Juexia walked over, “Are you sober now? Go wash up and go to bed early.”
Pei Tingsong nodded while leaning against the window glass, then turned around and walked toward the bathroom on his own. Fang Juexia was a bit worried and reached out to steady him, but Pei Tingsong refused his help. The nearly 6-foot-tall man walked unsteadily, making Fang Juexia nervous, fearing he might fall to the ground at any moment.
However, it seemed that he was overthinking it. Hearing the bathroom door close, Fang Juexia finally relaxed. He walked around the empty living room and suddenly thought about where he would sleep that night.
Fortunately, there were two rooms.
However, this thought was quickly proven to be just his wishful thinking. There were indeed two rooms, but there was only one bed. The other bedroom had been converted into a study and workspace, with two large bookshelves, a desk that doubled as a workbench, and various musical instruments like guitars and keyboards.
“What should I do…” Fang Juexia was frustrated about where he would sleep that night, but he couldn’t help but walk inside. This study was the most lively part of the apartment.
No, not the warmth of life. Fang Juexia mentally rejected his own conclusion and revised it.
It was filled with the warmth of Pei Tingsong.
He walked in, and the room was filled with the scent of paper books. It was strange—even though it was a cold, late night in the city, he felt the warmth of sunlight on the pages of a book. The desk was a bit messy, with open books, thick stacks of papers, various notes, and a vividly colored sticky note pinned to the lamp, bearing the words—Please don’t tidy up here.
Fang Juexia couldn’t help but curve his lips into a smile. He guessed that this house must also have a cleaning lady who comes regularly to tidy up, otherwise this young master, who couldn’t even make his own bed, probably wouldn’t be able to keep it clean on his own. Just looking at that small note, he could imagine Pei Tingsong fiercely guarding his messy desk, writing his request in a style that seemed like it was translated from English to Chinese, muttering “please” under his breath.
There was a piece of paper on his desk, covered with his scribbles and drawings, with many repeated characters, as if he were practicing calligraphy. Fang Juexia felt a sense of familiarity, as if it were the draft paper of a literature enthusiast.
He sat down to decipher the handwriting on the paper, mostly signatures of Pei Tingsong’s name, along with some hastily written English.
A few sentences caught Fang Juexia’s attention.
[The taste of coffee is brown, and the taste of cream is soft and white.
Add ice cubes, and the taste of ice cubes is transparent and colorless.
After drinking it, the cold air cuts through the esophagus.
Ice is like diamonds flowing down the throat.]
His mind seemed to be filled with endless imagination and wild ideas, making him hard to figure out. Fang Juexia flipped through a book, intending to continue reading, but the book accidentally fell to the ground. He hurried to pick it up and noticed a photo lying on the floor, as if it had fallen out of the book.
At the center of the photo was an elderly man in a wheelchair, wearing reading glasses, with a kind smile. Beside the wheelchair, a child of around thirteen or fourteen was half-kneeling, holding a newborn puppy in his arms, smiling with crinkled eyes, full of youthful vigor.
As a child, Pei Tingsong was like a young cactus, with soft spines that didn’t look like spines at all, but rather like rays of light shining through the clouds.
Fang Juexia put the photo back in the book, stood up, and suddenly realized that quite some time had passed, but there was still no movement from Pei Tingsong’s side.
He couldn’t help but feel a little worried. Pei Tingsong seemed to be conscious, but he had really drunk a lot. Besides, the last time he blacked out, it was Pei Tingsong who took care of him, so he had to repay the favor.
There was indeed no sound coming from the bathroom, not even the sound of a shower. Fang Juexia’s mind was filled with some not-so-good possibilities.
Could he have fainted?
Wait, you shouldn’t take a shower right after drinking!
Thinking of this, Fang Juexia suddenly lunged toward the bathroom door, but the door wasn’t locked at all—it was just ajar. He collided with it so forcefully that he fell to the ground and nearly couldn’t get up.
“…That hurts.”
Fang Juexia frowned, propped himself up on his arms, and peered inside. To his surprise, Pei Tingsong was taking a bath.
Taking a bath was even more dangerous! Fang Juexia didn’t even bother to tend to his pain; he ran barefoot to the edge of the bathtub at the farthest corner. Pei Tingsong’s head was resting against the edge of the bathtub, his eyes closed, motionless.
“Hey, Pei Tingsong, wake up.” He tapped Pei Tingsong’s face. When the other slowly opened his eyes, his racing heart finally calmed down a bit.
Pei Tingsong’s eyelashes were covered in moist vapor. He blinked slowly twice before finally focusing on Fang Juexia’s face. He curled the corners of his mouth upward, smiled, and raised his hand, covering Fang Juexia’s entire face with his palm.
“What are you doing…” Fang Juexia grabbed his hand, pulling on his arm to help him up. “Get out quickly; you can’t take a bath when you’re drunk.”
“I’m not drunk.” Pei Tingsong spoke much slower than usual, as if to prove that he really wasn’t drunk. He even forced himself to stand up by holding onto the edge of the bathtub.
Fang Juexia was already crouching by the bathtub, and Pei Tingsong’s sudden movement caught him off guard, causing him to turn his head abruptly. He didn’t know what was wrong with him. He had everything the other person had, and seeing it didn’t bother him.
But his heart clearly told him that something was wrong.
“You really are…” Fang Juexia was at a loss for words for a moment, so he got up, grabbed a towel, and wrapped it around him, tilting his head, “Don’t move around.”
“You’re so… mean,” Pei Tingsong spoke slowly, sounding nothing like his usual sharp and aggressive self, but rather a bit aggrieved.
Pei Tingsong spoke slowly, “…I’m not stupid.”
After finally getting him to the bedside, Fang Juexia took a breath, helped him lie down, and replied, “Yes, you’re the smartest.”
But the next moment, he was pulled down by Pei Tingsong and landed on top of him.
The distance between them suddenly closed, and the air seemed to freeze. Fang Juexia held his breath, staring at the person beneath her.
Her mind went blank, unable to issue any effective emergency commands.
Pei Tingsong suddenly smiled, his teeth gleaming white, his eyes filled with her.
“You finally complimented me.”
He spoke slowly, his arm wrapped around Fang Juexia’s waist.
Fang Juexia was stunned. He never expected Pei Tingsong to say that. He was clearly the most arrogant kid in the world, with natural talent and confidence.
“You…” Fang Juexia tried to struggle, but Pei Tingsong held him even tighter. He could only speak the truth, “Do you know who I am? You’re drunk.”
For some reason, Pei Tingsong suddenly exerted force, flipping him over and pinning Fang Juexia beneath his body.
“Get off me, I can’t breathe…”
“I know who you are.” Pei Tingsong’s bangs fell down, partially covering his deep-set eyes. “You’re Fang Juexia…”
It was clear. Fang Juexia frowned and pushed him away with his hands. “Then get up, don’t press down on me.”
“You’re the damn Fang Juexia…”
Pei Tingsong wouldn’t let it go. He looked the same as usual, yet different. He mumbled a few incoherent English words, then lowered his head and leaned against Fang Juexia’s collarbone.
The heat from his breath washed over his skin, and Fang Juexia felt his chest compressed so tightly he could barely feel his heartbeat. “Yes, I’m Fang Juexia, the damn Fang Juexia. Once you’re done yelling, let me out.”
Pei Tingsong muffled his voice against his chest, “You… do you admire others?”
Fang Juexia was confused, “Who?”
“Those people, the screenwriter, Xi Qingge, and many others…” Pei Tingsong’s voice was already low, and it became even deeper when he was drunk.
Fang Juexia didn’t understand why he suddenly said these things, nor did he understand what this had to do with Pei Tingsong. “Yes, they are all very talented and capable…”
“Am I not talented?” Pei Tingsong suddenly raised his head, his neck flushed red. “Am I not amazing today?”
You’re the most talented of all, brave and strategic, luring all the top players into the trap you set.
“But you didn’t praise me at all.” Pei Tingsong drooped his head again.
Fang Juexia was taken aback. He hadn’t expected Pei Tingsong to be so fixated on his evaluation, even upset by it.
He had marveled at Pei Tingsong’s abilities countless times during the game, but he didn’t know how to express it to him. He could easily praise others, but when faced with Pei Tingsong, even a smile seemed to require great courage.
Fang Juexia couldn’t find a reason for this difference in treatment.
“Do you still think… that I have a bias against you?” Pei Tingsong leaned against his chest, “I’ve said it before, I misunderstood you. I don’t think that way anymore…”
He never imagined that Pei Tingsong would be so honest after getting drunk, so honest that it made him feel guilty.
Fang Juexia took a deep breath. “I didn’t say that. I know you’ve changed. You said so yourself.”
“But you don’t trust me. You… you always avoid me…”
He was indeed like that. Two years of mutual rejection couldn’t be completely erased in a short time, allowing Pei Tingsong to enter his safe zone. Even though he had already let go, the habit of keeping his distance had become his instinctive defense when dealing with Pei Tingsong.
Why was it so difficult to give up his heart?
Fang Juexia also wanted to know the answer.
“I used to bully you, and I know you hated me,” Pei Tingsong stammered, then continued to defend himself, “But now… now I really want to be friends with you. Can’t you tell? I’m being very obvious. You’re a good person, Fang Juexia, you’re a good person…”
He spoke haltingly, struggling to get the words out, but each word carried such weight, each one striking deep into Fang Juexia’s heart, leaving behind shallow and deep indentations, oozing out a bitter, sour liquid.
“Friendship, we can be friends. “ Fang Juexia hesitantly reached out and placed his hand on Pei Tingsong’s head, as a form of comfort, ”But I’m not as good as you think I am.”
“No,” Pei Tingsong suddenly looked up, as if he was trying very hard to think, “You’re good, you’re good-looking… you’re smart… good-looking…”
Is it just about being good-looking? Fang Juexia couldn’t help but laugh and cry at the same time.
“Also, you’re kind, you’re cool, yes, your attitude toward life is cool, and the way you pursue your dreams is also cool.”
Fang Juexia couldn’t help but laugh, “You’re cooler than me.”
Pei Tingsong didn’t know if he was imitating him or responding, but he repeated, “Not as cool as you…” I forgive you, and I apologize to you too. I neglected you in the past, treating you as if you didn’t exist. I’m sorry.”
Pei Tingsong nodded while lying down, “Then… then I forgive you too.”
“Alright, we’ve forgiven each other. Can you get up now?”
Heaven… Fang Juexia was at a loss.
After getting drunk, Pei Tingsong was just like his dog—clingy, impossible to shoo away, and even his feverish body temperature was similar.
“I used to really want an older brother…” This time, Pei Tingsong lay on his side, his hot breath drifting over, causing every pore on Fang Juexia’s body to resonate with his voice.
The word “older brother” was originally simple, but in Pei Tingsong’s wordplay, it had been imbued with too many elusive meanings. As a result, every time Fang Juexia heard it, his feelings were complicated.
Was Pei Tingsong trying to make him his older brother?
But he couldn’t bring himself to say, “You can think of me as your older brother.”
The person lying on top of him suddenly realized something belatedly, struggled to get up, and reached out to touch Fang Juexia’s waist. Fang Juexia was a bit ticklish and dodged, grabbing his hand. “What are you doing? It’s ticklish.”
Pei Tingsong, whose hand was caught, blinked in confusion and looked at Fang Juexia. “Does your waist hurt?”
“How could my waist hurt if I didn’t do anything?”
But he didn’t expect that after hearing this, Pei Tingsong looked relieved. “You… you told your senior brother that your waist hurt, that you were practicing dance… I heard it, and I thought it was true. You don’t usually lie.”
He suddenly understood why Pei Tingsong had rushed over and started touching him, provoking him to fight, almost coming to blows.
It turned out that what he had said at the time was true, not some hidden message or code. He had really come to check if he had injured his waist.
“I’m fine, I’m not injured.”
Pei Tingsong nodded heavily, his hair flying around. Then he thought of something else and said seriously, “But I’m injured.” He pointed to his forehead.
Fang Juexia wanted to laugh. He held Pei Tingsong’s hand and said, “It’s this side. You pointed the wrong way.”
“Oh.” He touched it and then said loudly, “You’re right,” like a fool.
But he decided against it. Recording videos was never safe, even though they hadn’t done anything.
“Did?” The word “did” seemed to have multiple meanings, and it had clearly led him astray.
“And this,” Pei Tingsong suddenly held his hand up to Fang Juexia’s face, “this is injured too.”
The tooth marks on his wrist had already formed small scabs, but after the bath, they were slightly reddened, and even the hard scabs had softened.
Speaking of which, the injuries on his forehead and hands were all related to him.
Fang Juexia felt a pang of guilt. “Yes, I bit you. I’m sorry.” To show his sincerity, he reached out and touched Pei Tingsong’s wrist.
“Yes, you bit me.” Pei Tingsong nodded, thinking that the topic was over, but suddenly he grabbed Fang Juexia’s chin with his hand, forcing him to look up, then leaned down, catching Fang Juexia off guard.
“Hey!”
Just moments ago, he had been so docile, but now he had turned back into that wild cub.
What was going on?
“What are you doing?”
His senses were under attack.
Everything had gone haywire—he couldn’t see or hear, only feeling the soft lips pressing against his Adam’s apple.
The lips parted.
“I’m going to bite back.”
Not a playful bite, not on his hand. But like a hungry predator biting into its prey’s throat, releasing fresh, warm blood, waiting for his life to slowly fade away, completely belonging to him.
Fang Juexia snapped back to reality, pushing him away forcefully and struggling, but his actions seemed to enrage Pei Tingsong even more. He grabbed his forearm with one hand, pinned both his wrists above his head, and held them tightly with his wide, bitten-through hands.
He looked down at Fang Juexia, his gaze extending from his eyes to the reddened corners of his eyes, to his unique birthmark. This seemed to be a process of identifying his prey.
“Pei Tingsong, don’t act like a drunkard.” Fang Juexia’s gaze returned to its stubborn and fearless state, making the disoriented Pei Tingsong feel increasingly familiar.
“I’m not drunk,” Pei Tingsong was equally stubborn. “Do you know what you look like when you’re drunk? This is… not even close to being drunk.”
Yes, but it’s not much better.
Pei Tingsong refused to let go, his strength terrifying, and he furrowed his brows, “Fang Juexia, you’ve messed up my bed.”
“Let go of me, this is uncomfortable.”
“I won’t.”
Pei Tingsong was a little upset. He didn’t want to look at Fang Juexia’s face, so he lowered his head and panted. Suddenly, he seemed to have discovered something. He reached out with his free hand and grabbed at the bedsheet. His eyes were blurry and his head was dizzy, and it took him several attempts before he managed to pick up a small piece of paper.
He squinted and tried to make out the words on the paper.
But Fang Juexia saw the ukulele written on the side facing him even faster. He snapped back to reality, and a sense of shame came over him for no reason. He wanted to reach out and grab it back, but he couldn’t break free.
“Don’t move, I can’t see the words clearly…” Pei Tingsong was unhappy. He looked at the line of words for a long time. “Who is this? Who learned to write like me?”
This is your handwriting, you fool.
Pei Tingsong suddenly burst into laughter, as if he were particularly happy. “I thought you had thrown it away.”
He should have thrown it away. It was just a prop from a game. He didn’t understand why he had kept it.
Fang Juexia wanted to change the subject. He didn’t want to talk about that piece of paper anymore, nor did he want to recall the shock he felt when he first saw those words.
“Why are you acting like this when you’re drunk?”
One moment he was being direct, making his eyes spin, and the next he was like an unyielding madman.
He couldn’t be consoled.
“What’s wrong with me?” Pei Tingsong clutched the paper, his brows furrowed. “I’m better than you. Do you know how terrifying you are when you’re drunk? You insisted on hugging me, on making me sleep with you…”
These complaints, which he had already heard once, still made Fang Juexia feel ashamed. “Don’t say it. I know. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t know,” Pei Tingsong interrupted him, using the small piece of paper in his hand to seal his mouth, like a seal.
Fang Juexia’s eyes widened.
“You don’t know what you did back then.”
He leaned down, like a beautiful palace collapsing, suddenly crashing down before Fang Juexia, causing the earth to shake and the mountains to tremble in an instant.
“You kissed me that night, Fang Juexia.” Pei Tingsong’s voice was slow and deep.
Then, he kissed him through the paper.
Fang Juexia’s breath caught in his throat. The ruins engulfed him, his body unable to move, his mind blank.
But Pei Tingsong, who had left, frowned, dissatisfied with this level of restoration, and reached out to break the seal that had only lasted for a moment.
“No, it’s like this.”
He truly kissed him.
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