There were temples in the county town as well, and the two of them went to one to worship the Buddha and draw fortune sticks.
The brothers were perfectly in sync. Out loud they said they didn’t care about lousy men anymore, yet when they drew their fortunes, both asked only for peace and safety. They each got a top-grade lot, which made them so happy they could hardly contain themselves. They stayed at the temple for a vegetarian meal and donated incense money.
Lu Liu was still reluctant to part with money. He always remembered how his father could slaughter a whole pig and earn only the value of one jin of pork. When it came to giving money away, he counted out a few dozen copper coins with extreme care, dropping them into the merit box one by one.
He was clearly generous when it came to food—if he bought a cake for ten copper coins, he’d happily share it.
Lu Yang saw all of this but didn’t rush to comment.
The temple sat in a remote corner of the city. By the time they returned from town, it was already getting late.
They went home to eat and wash up, then sat at the desk that evening to write letters. As Lu Liu wrote, he kept stopping to ask Lu Yang how to write this or that character.
He had brought along the letters he’d written before. The little circles he’d drawn on them had all been filled in with characters now. In the place where he’d once drawn wheat ears, there was a whole string of circles he still hadn’t let Li Feng guess at.
This time, Lu Yang didn’t tease him. Missing someone wasn’t shameful. Going to another place to make a living—if you didn’t miss home, you’d at least be worried, and that was only natural.
Lu Liu wrote quickly. Every time he put his brush down, he saw that his brother was still writing. At first he just watched, but later he asked, “Brother, what are you writing? Why don’t I have that much to say?”
When he finished his letter, Lu Yang finally laughed at him.
“I don’t have much to say either. I’m writing other things.”
He was writing about the relationship between status and ability, about the scale of commerce, about his thoughts on the future.
Lu Yang explained briefly, “Being content with modest means. You set a pot as big as your strength allows; you cook rice for as many mouths as you have. A person can’t take on things beyond their capacity. It’s like the local earth god of Sanshui County—he can’t manage affairs in the prefectural city.”
Lu Liu let out an “ah,” glanced back at the letter paper on the table, and suddenly felt guilty for no reason.
It was rare for them to spend so much time together, and Lu Yang wanted to teach him some things.
“Lately I’ve been studying and writing with Xie Yan, and I often hear him quote, ‘An old book bears rereading a hundred times; read it well and reflect deeply, and its meaning will come to you.’ It’s a simple idea—once you’ve read a book enough, you naturally understand it.
“I’m not sitting for the civil service exams, so I don’t read that many books, but I have a lot of thoughts. When I can’t tell which idea is better or more suitable, I write them down and think them through again and again, examining them from different angles and weighing them against other experiences. When I write, I’m really writing my views on these matters.
“If you ever run into something you don’t understand, or a choice that’s hard to make, you can try writing too. Writing is like writing a letter—don’t overthink it. Just jot down your thoughts one by one. For example, what you want to do, what you’re capable of, what you have now, what you do every day. Start from your daily life and sort these things out. Then think about whether what you want to do conflicts with what you’re doing now—say, if you’re too busy. And think about what abilities you could improve. Like studying and learning characters right now—that definitely helps.”
Lu Liu listened intently. He had thought about it himself—the work in their household was too scattered. All of it could make money, but they still hadn’t made any real money, so it wasn’t easy to just let things go.
The family hadn’t said anything, and for now they could still manage, but he knew that before Li Feng came back, he needed to make a decision.
Their mother had put him in charge of the household. He had to manage it well and couldn’t lead the whole family into a dead end.
He said to Lu Yang, “Brother, you know about the drying yard. We’ve already hired people to do odd jobs at home. Once Da Feng comes back, we can start work. After the drying yard is built, just the mountain mushrooms will be enough to keep the whole family busy. I’m thinking of letting go of the sauce-making—that I can give up. But raising chickens and rabbits, I just can’t bear to let go.
“Rabbits are easier. I’ve raised them for a long time. Some died, but not many overall, and I’ve made over two taels of silver. I’ve been raising chickens for less than a year. In the long run, since it’s mainly selling eggs rather than meat birds, it’s not as profitable as rabbits. But raising chickens is what I know how to do. I don’t really know how to do anything else.
“This year has been especially hard. I got pregnant too fast. I didn’t get to learn anything—aside from recognizing mushrooms, I haven’t learned other things well. Other families’ husbands are busy and thriving, but I can’t bend over much anymore. I just watch the little shop and take care of the rabbits and chickens for three meals a day. I really can’t let it go.”
Lu Yang held his hand and softly called his name.
“Liu-ge’er, don’t rush. Like I said, write when you have time. Listening to you, I can tell you have ideas. You know you need to let go, you just haven’t been able to yet. Write your thoughts down more, and slowly you’ll figure it out. You’re a good kid—hardworking and serious. You’re willing to learn what you don’t know, not afraid of hardship or of enduring a long grind. For you, what is this, really?
“You’re clear about money. I won’t calculate money with you. I won’t put two piles of silver in front of you and tell you to pick the bigger one. When you make a decision, I want you to do it willingly, knowing that this choice will be better for you—that you’ll be happy, not just because it makes or doesn’t make money. There are many ways to make money, but it’s not easy to make yourself happy.”
Lu Liu lowered his head and said nothing. After a while, the brothers put away their brushes and ink and went to bed on the heated kang. Even lying down, he was still thinking. He called out, “Brother,” and said, “Actually, I thought about this some time ago. I didn’t write it down, but I did think a lot back then.”
He had wanted to become a strong, independent person—and hadn’t lasted even a moment.
The lamp had been put out. Lu Liu raised his hand to wipe his eyes, holding back tears as he said, “I can’t do anything. You’re so capable—you do everything well. Brother-in-law can study, and Da Feng is capable too. I’m the only one who can’t do anything. All I know is how to raise chickens, and now we don’t even need to make money that way. I feel so anxious.”
Lu Yang turned and hugged him. “Silly Liu-ge’er, what are you thinking? Is knowing how to raise chickens something shameful? That’s impressive in itself—you used to support the family that way. If you went out now, who would say that skill isn’t worth anything? It’s just that we chose not to use that ability to make money. That’s not your fault.”
He went on seriously, “Raising chickens isn’t like raising pigs, with regular yearly sales. Chickens are cheap—if you raise too few, you can’t get a good price. There’s a whole mountain there, producing something every year. It doesn’t require long-term raising, and you can see returns quickly. That’s why we chose this path—you can understand that, right? Can raising chickens work? I’m certain it can. When something succeeds, it either benefits yourself, benefits others, or benefits both. You might not understand what it means to benefit others, so let me put it simply: treat it as building goodwill. You help others, and others will help you.”
Lu Liu had never spoken of these worries at home. Once he let them out, he cried for a while. His brother didn’t scold him—instead, he affirmed him and encouraged him. For some reason, that only made his tears come harder.
He didn’t fully understand yet. He would think it through again.
Lu Yang got up to fetch a cloth and wiped his face for him.
“Listen to me. I won’t harm you. Don’t rush. Handle things one by one. Eat your meals one bite at a time. Once one thing is settled properly, then move on to the next.”
Lu Liu asked, “Brother, when you told us to make sauce back then, did you want me to find people in the stronghold to do it? I ended up doing it myself.”
Lu Yang denied it. “How could that be? I definitely wanted you to make money.”
Lu Liu wiped his eyes. He knew that once he started making sauce, he’d been stuck in the kitchen nonstop. Now that it had been split up among four households, with each making two or three batches a day, it was finally manageable. Back then, he’d just been too greedy.
Lu Liu asked again, “When we talked earlier about building the drying yard and did the household accounting, Mother taught us that you have to let money leak through your fingers. She said the more we earn, the more people in the stronghold should be able to eat their fill, and at least have some soup thanks to us. Is that the same idea you were talking about?”
Lu Yang smiled. “Yes. That’s exactly it.”
He even said Xie Yan was dull, and it seemed he was the same. He’d been reading too much lately and doing too little, becoming overly bookish. That wasn’t good—he needed to change too.
Put that way, Lu Liu understood.
He said, “I’ll think about it carefully. If I can’t figure it out, I’ll write it down and look it over from time to time.”
There was no need to rush in the second half of the year. The chickens had started laying eggs. Getting new chicks would be next year’s matter. As for the rabbits… ah, it was really hard to give them up.
Lu Liu patted his chest. Last time Li Feng came back and asked if he wanted to count the money, he should have said yes.
If he’d seen more silver, held big money in his hands, he wouldn’t have become so miserly down to the bone.
