Li Chen looked at Shen Yuan and quietly waited for him to continue.
Under Li Chen’s sincere, concerned gaze, Shen Yuan suddenly felt as if his mouth were stuffed with stones. He still couldn’t bring himself to say it. He had deliberately chosen today to come over—Xiao Lin had gone to his maternal grandmother’s place to pay New Year visits and wasn’t home.
He just couldn’t get past that hurdle in his heart. Uncle was different from Qiao Hailou. Qiao Hailou knew everything about him, so in front of him Shen Yuan dared to be reckless, dared to say anything at all.
But in front of Uncle, he carried the burden of being a “good son” in his eyes. Even though part of that image had already collapsed because he stubbornly insisted on marrying Qiao Hailou… deep down, he was still extremely resistant to letting anyone know about his body. Back then, neither he nor Qiao Hailou had confessed; it was Qiao Hailou who had forcibly pried open his secret.
Shen Yuan stammered, hesitating: “I—I…”
It was clearly something that should have taken only a few words, a couple of sentences at most, yet no matter what, Shen Yuan just couldn’t say it.
Qiao Hailou had been watching him the whole time. Seeing this, he tugged lightly on Shen Yuan’s hand and said, “Forget it. I’ll think of another way for you, Uncle.”
Hearing Qiao Hailou say that, Shen Yuan actually felt a sense of relief. He had originally planned to steel himself and say it in one go! He was afraid that if he hesitated, he’d lose the nerve—and sure enough, when it came down to it, he still backed out.
Li Chen was utterly baffled by their exchange. “What are you two doing? This makes no sense at all.”
Shen Yuan drooped, only mumbling vaguely, “Sorry, Uncle…”
Li Chen walked over and patted his shoulder. “If something’s going on, just say it. Look at how conflicted you are—did you get yourself into trouble again? Could you possibly cause more trouble than last time?” As he spoke, he shot an irritated sideways glance at Qiao Hailou.
Qiao Hailou’s skin was thick enough that he didn’t even blush. He was magnanimous—out of consideration for Shen Yuan, he gave Li Chen some face. Heh.
Shen Yuan subconsciously touched his stomach. He really had gotten himself into even bigger trouble this time—this time, it was a matter of a life.
In the end, Shen Yuan still didn’t have the nerve to say it. He only said he’d come to see his uncle, had a meal, chatted a bit about studying abroad, then left dejectedly with Qiao Hailou.
Feeling utterly down, Shen Yuan said to Qiao Hailou, “Why am I so useless? I still didn’t dare say it. I came all this way for nothing. Even with you by my side, I couldn’t say it. I’ll never find a better opportunity than this. Next time, if I’m alone, I’ll be even less likely to dare.”
“If I don’t come clean now, it’ll be even more troublesome later. My stomach won’t stay hidden forever. When there’s no way to hide it and it gets discovered, that would be terrifying.”
“But I’m still so scared… Doctors and you are fine, but I don’t want anyone else to know about this.”
Qiao Hailou said, “Li Chen is a good person. You know him well enough. Even I think that if he knew, he absolutely wouldn’t discriminate against you. But you’re still scared?”
Shen Yuan shook his head. “I know that too. Uncle is so good—he wouldn’t despise me like my uncle on my mom’s side did. But once he knows, the way he looks at me will definitely change. I think he’d probably feel sorry for me, pity me. I don’t want that either.”
Qiao Hailou didn’t force him. “If you don’t want to come clean, then don’t. It’s okay. I have a way.”
Shen Yuan asked, “What way?”
Qiao Hailou said unhurriedly, “I’ll spend some money overseas to set up a six-month to one-year jewelry designer training program and competition, get your name on the list, and use advanced study as an excuse. That way, your uncle and your brother won’t suspect anything.”
Shen Yuan said, “Then what about the baby? How do we explain the baby?”
Qiao Hailou replied, “We’ll say the baby was through surrogacy, that it’s your biological child.”
Shen Yuan thought about it. That explanation did seem workable, but he still felt a bit uncomfortable. “Then the baby would be so pitiful. He’s clearly our biological child, but from the moment he’s born, he has to live with a fabricated lie.”
Qiao Hailou was helpless. “This won’t do, that won’t do either. Then what do you want? Dummy, there are gains and losses. Even I can’t make everything perfect, without a single flaw. Since you don’t want others to know, this is the only way.”
Shen Yuan nodded. “All right, then.”
Qiao Hailou roughly understood where Shen Yuan’s knot lay. If this knot wasn’t untied, he worried that Shen Yuan would stay this depressed throughout the entire pregnancy. Shen Yuan already loathed his own body, yet kept the baby only because he wanted a child of his own—this contradiction alone was already tormenting him.
After returning to the country, Shen Yuan temporarily went back to live with the Li family.
Li Lin had gone to his grandmother’s place to play for two days and then came back as well.
Shen Yuan didn’t dare let them know about the baby in his belly. Before, when he himself didn’t know, it was one thing—but now that he knew, and the doctor had told him to be careful and nurture the pregnancy, he’d been walking on thin ice these past few days. Maybe because of the baby, Shen Yuan missed Qiao Hailou especially badly. At night, sleeping alone in his room, counting the days until Xiao Lin went back to school, thinking about how he still had to keep acting for several more days, unable to see Qiao Hailou or sleep with him, he felt unbearably wronged and couldn’t stand it.
Even when he couldn’t see Qiao Hailou, Qiao Hailou messaged and called him secretly every day, constantly coaxing him—but being there in person and not being there were still very different things.
So Shen Yuan urged him, “Then hurry up and get that training-and-competition thing sorted out so I can go find you. I haven’t been sleeping well at all these nights.”
Qiao Hailou was very worried. “That won’t do. I’ll speed it up.”
Shen Yuan went back and gave his uncle a heads-up, saying he’d seen some newly launched jewelry design competition, with professional judges like Professor Fang, that it looked quite legit, and he wanted to participate. His uncle and the others had no objections and supported him.
Lin Zhihui, however, noticed that something seemed off with Shen Yuan’s mood. Before, Shen Yuan had told her everything, but this time, no matter how she asked, she couldn’t get anything out of him.
Before Li Lin started school, on the fifth day of the New Year the company resumed work. Qiao Hailou moved swiftly, had people write up the proposal, allocated funds directly, green lights all the way, and very quickly got this so-called international jewelry designer training program set up, even posting about it online with great fanfare.
Although the purpose of this competition was to cover for Shen Yuan going abroad to nurture his pregnancy, Qiao Hailou wasn’t just throwing money away. He also planned to scout and train a few designers on the side—killing two birds with one stone. So it wasn’t just a gimmick; he really did spend money to create a genuine training competition.
Since it was real, Shen Yuan had to submit a real piece of work. Even if it was just going through the motions, the motions still had to be gone through.
If he was going to do it, he’d do it properly. These past few days, Shen Yuan had been thinking about ideas, but for the moment he still hadn’t come up with a good theme.
In the blink of an eye, it was the Lantern Festival, the last day of winter break for high school students. After the Lantern Festival, Li Lin would have to go back to school. His classmates invited him out to play.
Li Lin ran over to ask Shen Yuan, “Bro, let’s go out today! There’s stuff going on, and we can watch lion dances.”
Shen Yuan naturally refused. “You’re going out with a bunch of classmates. I’d feel really awkward mixed in with you. I’m not going. You guys go have fun. I want to stay home and work on drafts.”
Li Lin was disappointed, but went out with his classmates to enjoy the festivities.
As soon as Li Lin left, Shen Yuan didn’t hesitate—he snuck out to find Qiao Hailou.
A festival like the Lantern Festival, a day for family reunions, of course had to be spent with Uncle Qiao!
Having not seen Qiao Hailou for several days, Shen Yuan missed him terribly. He was unusually obedient, pouring out his recent troubles, saying he couldn’t even figure out what theme to use for the competition piece, wondering if hormonal changes had made him stupid.
Seeing him like this, Qiao Hailou found it both funny and worrying. “Come with me. Uncle has something to give you.”
Shen Yuan asked, “What is it?”
Qiao Hailou brought over a black lacquer box inlaid with mother-of-pearl, about the size of two palms. “Take a look.”
Shen Yuan didn’t understand, but opened the box. Inside were three or four Baroque pearls—not small, all with excellent luster.
Baroque pearls, a transliteration from Portuguese, refer to irregularly shaped pearls. Each one has a unique form. The pearls Qiao Hailou gave him were all high quality—maybe not top-tier priceless, but definitely good pieces.
Qiao Hailou said, “Use these for your design. Once it’s finished, it’s yours.”
Shen Yuan seemed to understand something and looked up at him. “Did you do this on purpose?”
Qiao Hailou smiled, nodded, and said, “I did it on purpose.”
The box was set on the coffee table as they sat down on the sofa.
Qiao Hailou picked up one of the Baroque pearls. This one was as big as a pigeon’s egg. “What do you think this could be made into?”
Shen Yuan examined it, thought for a moment, and a sketch quickly formed in his mind. “It could be made into a little bird.”
Qiao Hailou placed the pearl into Shen Yuan’s palm.
“Dummy, I’ve said this many, many times before. I don’t mind your body at all. Even if you never have surgery and stay the way you are, I accept it.”
“But I was careless. I’ve realized that your issue isn’t something surgery alone can fix.”
“You’re too insecure about this, too hung up on it.”
“Yes, I’m not you. I can’t truly understand the pain you’ve endured since childhood.”
“I just think that if you can’t let go of this fixation, then even if you do have surgery, you’ll still be trapped by the past and remain miserable. I want you to be happy.”
“People think round pearls are beautiful, but that’s a standard humans set—it’s not nature’s rule. Pearls are born in all kinds of shapes; that’s their natural state. Look—even like this, they can be beautiful. Let go of those so-called conventional rules. You are you, the one and only Shen Yuan.”
As Qiao Hailou spoke, Shen Yuan found himself unable to look away. In Qiao Hailou’s eyes, he saw his own reflection—tolerant and gentle.
Shen Yuan’s nose stung a little. “Mm.”
There probably wasn’t anyone in the world who understood him and tolerated him more than Qiao Hailou. This old fox was far too good at scheming—one poke and he hit Shen Yuan right in his softest spot.
Shen Yuan designed custom pieces for the Baroque pearls Qiao Hailou had given him, then showed the drafts to Qiao Hailou. Qiao Hailou smiled as soon as he saw them—a set of small animals: a little rabbit, a sparrow, a kitten, and a little fox, full of childlike charm.
Qiao Hailou asked, “Once they’re made, will they be for our baby?”
Shen Yuan nodded, blushing slightly. “This is the first gift I’m giving him.”
While drawing this series, Shen Yuan thought about many things. Qiao Hailou’s words really had hit the mark.
He had been born with this body—something heaven had given him. Perhaps all along, his pain hadn’t come from any so-called deformity, but from believing that he himself was deformed.
When he finished the designs, it felt natural, like water flowing into a channel. He thought that maybe it was time for him to try to make peace with heaven.
The first day Li Lin went back to school.
Without Qiao Hailou by his side, Shen Yuan went to see his uncle alone.
At the time, Li Chen was in his study, wearing glasses and reading. When Shen Yuan knocked and came in, he asked, “What is it?”
Shen Yuan took a deep breath and said seriously, “Uncle, I’m carrying Qiao Hailou’s child.”