He didn’t know what he was supposed to do. From the moment he saw Li Feng, he could no longer be as strong as he’d imagined he should be. He couldn’t be independent and tough the way he’d planned. Instead, he just wanted to stay close to Li Feng, lean against him, cling to him—liking to grab his hand, to hold him.
He didn’t know if that made him too clingy. Even his words weren’t as straightforward as before. He rambled about everyday things, never daring to say a single word about how much he missed him.
Li Feng called his name again.
“I keep it in my heart. If you don’t say it out loud, I can’t even fall asleep.”
Lu Liu didn’t speak right away. He adjusted his breathing in small, careful breaths. After a while, once he figured the sob in his voice was gone, he finally spoke.
“Da Feng, go to sleep. Of course I miss you—how could I not miss you? I just haven’t seen you for so long, I don’t know how to say it properly. Go to sleep. Tomorrow I’ll tell you lots and lots of things you want to hear.”
Li Feng didn’t expose him. He pretended not to know he’d cried.
He asked, “Things I want to hear?”
Lu Liu smiled.
“The things I want to say—I think you’ll definitely like hearing them.”
Li Feng shifted his foot, rubbing it lightly against Lu Liu’s calf.
“All right, Xiao Liu. I’m going to sleep.”
Lu Liu went to sleep too.
He closed his eyes and lay there for a long time before he finally drifted off.
He couldn’t even hide his thoughts. He was actually kind of stupid.
Realizing that he was stupid, he smiled again.
Da Feng liked stupid ones anyway. Heh.
Li Feng slept all the way until late morning. It was only because there were so many people in the house making noise that he woke up—otherwise he could’ve kept sleeping.
In the early morning hours, it was hard to stay on the kang. Lu Liu felt hot, but seeing that Li Feng hadn’t woken up, he obediently stayed curled up, not moving at all.
As the sun rose, the chickens woke too. Lu Liu lay there with his eyes open, thinking about whether he should feed them, and how he ought to do it.
Once Li Feng woke up, he wouldn’t have to think about it anymore.
Li Feng shifted away from him and called his name.
Half of Lu Liu’s body had gone numb. He had to let Li Feng help him before he could lie flat and slowly recover.
Li Feng pinched his nose. “Silly thing. Why didn’t you wake me?”
The night before, Lu Liu had promised he’d say lots of things Li Feng wanted to hear. Now that they’d just started talking, he was already showering him with sweetness.
“I like being held by you. We haven’t slept together in so long—I couldn’t bear to wake you.”
Li Feng knew that Lu Liu had seen how deeply he was sleeping. The first two sentences could’ve been swapped for something else entirely.
He was pleased to hear it. He rubbed Lu Liu’s arms and legs, then asked what he was planning to do today.
Lu Liu usually didn’t have much going on. The family was busy collecting mushrooms, so he generally stayed at home.
The road in front of the house had been fixed up. When he got restless, he’d go out for a walk—usually to the vegetable garden to pick vegetables, or to find Yao’s husband to chat.
He didn’t go to Jiu-ge’er’s place much; Chen Jiu usually worked at their house anyway.
Lu Liu wanted to spend more time with Li Feng, so he asked, “Are you busy today?”
Li Feng answered, “Yeah. Since I’m back, I definitely have to do some work—haul water, chop firewood, haul manure too. Our livestock eats a lot and produces a lot; we’ve saved up quite a bit of fertilizer. I should ask Er Tian if he wants some.”
They were brothers by blood, after all. Er Tian had settled down, and Li Feng wasn’t going to ignore him.
Lu Liu told him about the changes with Er Tian and Wang Dongmei. “Their house feels lifeless.”
Li Feng didn’t concern himself with how they lived their lives. Couples fought—there was a baby coming soon. Before long, they’d make up again.
People didn’t really change. He only cared about the present. As long as Er Tian wasn’t causing trouble now, Li Feng treated him like a brother. If Er Tian caused trouble again someday, Li Feng would beat him.
He told Lu Liu to look over the jewelry designs again and pick a style so he could start saving silver.
Lu Liu wanted earrings. Earrings were small—hollow ones would be fine too. He could take them off before sleeping, and they wouldn’t press uncomfortably. But since Li Feng insisted on asking, he said a ring.
Even though he’d already said ring, Li Feng called him stingy and said he’d buy him a bracelet.
Lu Liu used his mother as an excuse. “Mom doesn’t even have a gold bracelet. What would it look like if I wore one?”
Li Feng wasn’t swayed. “It’d look like my husband.”
Lu Liu immediately smiled, then tried to put on a serious face and argue some more. But the noise outside was getting louder, so he dropped it and got up with Li Feng.
Now that his belly was bigger, it wasn’t easy for him to put on socks. In summer he didn’t really need them, but he was afraid of cold seeping in through his feet and causing stomach pain, so he always wore them anyway.
With Li Feng home, Li Feng helped him put them on. He held Lu Liu’s foot in both hands and noticed his toenails were pretty long. Two of the toes were even red along the edges, the nails pressing into the flesh. He said he’d trim them.
Lu Liu curled his toes, wanting to do it himself.
Li Feng didn’t listen at all and told him to sit still.
Lu Liu was just talking—he didn’t insist even once. He grinned, sat on the kang, and swung his feet back and forth.
“Da Feng, are your toenails long? I can trim yours too.”
Li Feng had already trimmed them. His feet wore through shoes easily. When he went to the prefectural city, he wore new shoes and socks, afraid they’d get ruined. He didn’t just clip them flat—he’d even filed them smooth.
Lu Liu was happy hearing that and asked, “Then don’t Wang Meng and the others laugh at you?”
Of course they did.
Li Feng said, “They’re just jealous.”
Lu Liu burst out laughing.
Li Feng even filed his toenails with a piece of sandstone. Lu Liu had never had that done before—it tickled.
Tickling was impossible to endure. He tensed his legs too hard, and Li Feng worried he’d get a cramp, so he had to stop. Lu Liu felt it was a pity—they hadn’t even finished.
They got dressed and went out together, washing up side by side.
That morning, Shun-ge’er had already taken care of the animals in the back yard. What remained was the business up front.
Li Feng followed his plan: first fill the water jars, then chop firewood, check on the vegetable garden. Hauling manure could wait until later.
He’d gotten up late, and by now working was hot.
Breakfast was a bowl of noodles with greens and shredded meat. By the time the water jars were full, it was noon.
Lunch was made by Lu Liu. When Li Feng was home, Lu Liu loved making soup.
If he couldn’t make fish soup, he’d rotate through different vegetable soups instead.
Last night it had been mushroom soup; today at noon it was loofah and egg soup.
One meal didn’t hydrate much—you still had to drink water regularly.
Lu Liu was thinking about buying some good tea for him to try.
Seeing that Li Feng liked alcohol, he even took out his water flask and quietly poured half a jin of liquor into it, letting Li Feng carry it around to drink.
Li Feng had hauled water in the morning and was chopping wood nearby, which made it easy for Lu Liu to circle around him.
Li Feng glanced at the flask, opened it to smell, and asked, “This is at least five wen worth of liquor, right?”
Lu Liu urged him to drink. “There’ll be more once it’s gone.”
He’d really gone to a lot of trouble.
Li Feng only drank that half jin. After finishing it, he drank more water on his own. Seeing that made Lu Liu beam, chasing after him with endless praise.
Praising someone just for drinking water was something children did. Lu Liu’s talent for praise had grown—he kept saying how Li Feng loved him and cherished him, how even though he didn’t like drinking water, he still did it for Lu Liu, what a good man he was, how much he liked Li Feng too.
Shun-ge’er passed by them and occasionally overheard a sentence or two. It made him so sour his brows knitted together and his eyes blinked wildly. Then he looked at his older brother—who actually liked hearing this kind of mushy talk, smiling like an idiot.
Shun-ge’er shook his head. Looks like the family would have to rely on him.
Lu Liu had started liking afternoon naps again. Back in winter, he’d always liked sleeping. After getting married, with full meals, warm clothes, and work to do at home, he’d gotten past that phase and wasn’t sleepy much anymore.
After getting pregnant, though, afternoon naps came back. Today, after fussing around Li Feng all morning, he was past nap time and couldn’t hold out anymore.
Li Feng went to haul manure without him and told him to go rest. Only then did Lu Liu sniff lightly, confirming Li Feng really didn’t like bad smells, and head back to the room.
The manure was temporarily piled in pits dug at the foot of the mountain. After the wheat harvest, when the next crop was planted, it would be used as top dressing.
Li Feng made trip after trip outside and ran into Wang Meng carrying stones. He raised an eyebrow. “Fixing the road?”
Wang Meng nodded. First he grinned stupidly, then he sighed.
“Jiu-ge’er fixed up a stretch of road himself. Isn’t that just stabbing me in the heart?”
Li Feng nodded, not knowing what to say.
He thought Wang Meng and Jiu-ge’er seemed to get along well enough, so he didn’t interfere.
Wang Meng stopped on the road to chat with him.
“You came back yesterday and still haven’t gone out for a walk yet?”
Li Feng asked, “Go where?”
Wang Meng shook his head in admiration. “You really can sit still. I can’t. I want to go up the mountain and take a look. Since I’m fixing the road anyway, keeping busy like this makes me feel better.”
