Li Feng frowned. “What kind of talk is that? If they had a son at home, I wouldn’t say a word. But it’s just the two of them left at home—what are they thinking?”
Lu Liu had been holding this worry inside, never daring to bring it up in front of others. He feared Li Feng would say the wrong thing, make Mother unhappy, or give people something to laugh at.
Today, hearing Li Feng mention it, he finally spoke out. Finding that Li Feng shared the same concern made him feel understood and opened the floodgates of his thoughts.
He repeated what the two fathers had said, sighing, “It’s so hard. Da-Feng, I haven’t been sleeping well lately. I know worrying too much isn’t good, and the baby will be here soon. We don’t need to move immediately. I thought I’d ask Brother first, hear his thoughts, and then discuss it with you. But the more I try not to think about it, the more it presses into my mind.
“I kept getting stuck in my own head, wondering what Father and the others could do. I thought maybe moving to another place, buying a patch of land, letting them settle in a new village… but that didn’t feel right. In the county, there’s no land to farm, barely room for a few chickens or a small garden. How could they adapt?
“While in the county, Brother taught me a lot. Recently, Shun-Ge keeps saying to learn skills, learn skills. I thought—could Father and the others learn something too? I learned to read; they could learn something else. We’re planning to open a small shop in the city—couldn’t we bring them there to help? I think it’s possible. They have soft hearts; if I cry and say life’s hard, they’d come.”
Li Feng handed him a handkerchief to wipe his tears. Lu Liu clutched his wrist, pressing his cheek against his palm.
“You see? Isn’t that a good idea? But no, they won’t move with me. They’d feel it’s unfair to Brother.”
Li Feng’s thinking was straightforward, without any twists.
“If that’s the case, then they need to go to the city even more.”
Lu Liu looked at him, and when Li Feng explained, “If they feel indebted, they want to make amends. Hiding won’t solve anything. If they hide now and disappear later, Lu Yang will have come back for nothing,” his mind clicked into place.
“Yes, why hide from Brother?”
Lu Liu immediately felt a lightness in his chest.
Li Feng wiped his tears again. “You don’t need to worry about this. Xie Yan isn’t home, so your brother can’t decide anything yet. At the end of the year, we’ll sit down and talk it through.”
Lu Liu was puzzled. “My brother can’t decide?”
Li Feng nodded. “I’m not lying. Don’t be fooled by how domineering he seems when he handles things. At home, he listens to Xie Yan, even if Xie Yan usually has no opinion.”
Lu Liu lowered his gaze, recalling how his brother often checked with Aunt Zhao about whether something was alright, and he smiled.
“Right, we have to wait for Brother Fu to come home.”
After saying this, Lu Liu felt relieved.
His brother had softened. Love had softened him; he no longer needed to keep up his defenses, wary of everything.
Li Feng saw his smile, pinched his cheek, tucked the bedding around him, and let him rest for a nap.
Lu Liu couldn’t fall asleep immediately. Lying on his side in a comfortable position, he continued talking to Li Feng.
“Da-Feng, I know how hard you work to support us. I’ve been worrying about this matter, wanting a solution. Once we have a plan, we can take it slowly. Don’t rush, and I won’t rush. When you’re out there, you only tell me good news. I don’t know if you face difficulties or meet obstacles. I just want you safe, every step steady.”
Lu Liu remembered what they had said about life: there’s no absolute right or wrong, only what fits the moment.
He also remembered the consequences of his earlier greed, trying to grasp all kinds of business opportunities at once.
Now he could prioritize, understanding that not everything needs to be resolved at once.
Li Feng hadn’t slept either. He dragged a stool over, sat at the edge of the kang, leaned forward, face to face with Lu Liu.
As an excellent hunter, he had patience. For his beloved family, this patience was even more attentive.
He spoke from experience, not grand philosophies.
“Look at the western mountains. They’re big. When you think about going into them, do you feel afraid?”
Lu Liu admitted he would.
Li Feng asked what exactly scared him.
Lu Liu listed many fears: getting lost, snakes, wild animals like boars and wolves. He had heard that even goats could butt people—it was terrifying.
There were also swamps and wild beehives. Recently, he had heard how Da-Qiang had taken a beehive to the river and burned it, but some wild bees are carnivorous and could kill honey-gathering bees. Scary too.
Li Feng told him, “There are poisonous fruits and mushrooms, traps left by hunters, and even poisonous snakes hiding in safe houses. If you just imagine it, the mountain is like hell. Standing there, doing nothing, you could scare yourself to death.”
Lu Liu blinked, not understanding why he said that.
Li Feng continued, “When I decided to venture into the deep hunting grounds, I was scared too. What if something happened to me—how would Mother manage? What if I returned crippled—how would she cope? What if I couldn’t sell the game? What if someone tried to cheat me with fake silver? Funny, right? But that’s what I feared.”
Lu Liu shook his head and reached from under the blanket to take Li Feng’s hand.
“You’re not afraid of dying. You’re afraid Mother will suffer, afraid our family will struggle. That’s admirable, not funny.”
Li Feng said, “Once I got into the mountains, all those fears vanished. I focused on the immediate task. That’s life: the more you imagine, the scarier it seems. Thinking about it here may create problems that won’t even happen. A challenge is like the big mountain behind our home: you climb it, and some problems never appear, some aren’t as bad as imagined, some are unexpected. We can’t prepare for everything, just respond seriously.”
He tapped the gold bracelet on Lu Liu’s wrist. “Xiao Liu, when the baby is born, I’ll take you to the county to visit and to the pawnshop. You don’t realize how capable your husband is, how much silver I earn. You’ve never spent it yourself, so you don’t know what it can get you. Two more mouths to feed is nothing. I still say: just eat, leave supporting the family to me.”
Lu Liu understood the meaning behind Li Feng’s earlier words, and tears flowed uncontrollably.
Li Feng said, “Your fathers are my fathers. With me providing, they will never go hungry. This isn’t urgent. Just know my thoughts. We’ll talk properly at New Year.”
Lu Liu tried to stop crying, but fresh tears kept coming.
He panicked. “Da-Feng, what do I do? The water in my eyes keeps rising!”
Li Feng laughed. “Then let it flow a little. I’ll catch it for you.”
Lu Liu let his tears run freely. Soon, he stopped crying.
He hadn’t rested well for a while. Crying cleared his mind, his eyes swollen, heavy, and ready to sleep.
He kissed Li Feng’s hand, cuddled up, and said, “When you came back, I heard Yao Fu’er had the baby. He ran to ask if I was scared. I said no. You didn’t believe me, thinking I lied to reassure you. Da-Feng, I’m really not scared. When I first learned I was carrying twins, I was a little afraid—I even wrote it in my letter. But then, I wasn’t. You go out often, and I never felt wronged or wanted to complain. Mother told me, having a child is also a kind of undertaking. This is the result of my year. You treat me well, keep me in your heart, I’m willing to give you children.”
Li Feng slipped his hand under the covers, letting him close his eyes.
“I know you. I know everything you think.”
Lu Liu’s heart and eyes were full of him. How could he not see?
After Lu Liu fell asleep, Li Feng stayed by the kang for a long while, reflecting on the day’s tender confessions.
