Dinner was porridge. Pei Qingjian had carefully looked up some stomach-friendly recipes online, paired with light side dishes, and ate together with Lan Xingchen.
“Tomorrow at noon, I’ll bring you lunch,” he said. “What do you want to eat?”
Lan Xingchen was surprised. “Tomorrow?”
Pei Qingjian nodded. “Mm, didn’t we agree on it at the hospital today?”
Lan Xingchen: …He actually thought it would start next week at the earliest.
“I don’t care. Whatever you make is fine,” Lan Xingchen replied.
Pei Qingjian thought for a moment and asked, “How about pancakes? I can fry a few dishes, and we can roll them together.”
“Fine,” Lan Xingchen said with little opinion.
“Then I’ll come at twelve?”
“Mm.” Lan Xingchen picked up his phone and sent him the company’s location.
“Can you drive?” Pei Qingjian asked. “If you can, I’ll give you the keys to the car I drove today. If not, just take a taxi.”
“Yes, I can,” Pei Qingjian answered.
During college, he had learned a bunch of things haphazardly. His grandmother was gone, he had no attachments, and summer and winter breaks didn’t matter, so he spent half the time working and the other half learning.
Photography, photo editing, driving—Pei Qingjian had learned them all during those four years.
His thinking was simple: college graduates have a tough time finding jobs. With no background and no connections, learning an extra skill was another path, another way to earn money.
He didn’t own a car back then, so after getting his license, he rarely drove. Tomorrow would be a perfect chance to practice.
“Is this the cheapest car you own?” Pei Qingjian asked, concerned.
Lan Xingchen shook his head. “Do you want the cheapest one?”
Pei Qingjian nodded vigorously. “I can drive, but I’m afraid I might scratch your car since I haven’t driven much after getting my license.”
Lan Xingchen didn’t mind. “It’s fine. You won’t scratch it, as long as you don’t scratch yourself.”
Pei Qingjian still felt hesitant. “Then maybe the cheapest one.”
Lan Xingchen looked at him. “You do realize my ‘cheapest’ might still be quite expensive, right?”
Pei Qingjian: …As expected of his wealthy benefactor, so loaded!
Lan Xingchen offered him a slice of cucumber. “Then let’s just use this one.”
Pei Qingjian nodded and made himself a “practice” reminder chart overnight, which Lan Xingchen printed out.
Later, while showering, Pei Qingjian instinctively woke his little spring bird.
Unexpectedly, this time, his little bird actually fluttered his wings!
Pei Qingjian was overjoyed!
Finally! Finally! He’s truly better!
The effects of the medicine were gone!
His benefactor could finally eat meat again!
Pei Qingjian wanted to call Lan Xingchen in to share the good news but hesitated halfway. Even if Lan Xingchen wanted him, they couldn’t do it in the bathroom.
Better to tell him after leaving.
Thinking this, Pei Qingjian hurried through his shower, eager to finish and prepare a meal for his benefactor.
Meanwhile, Lan Xingchen was clearly not as happy.
He sat on the bed, staring at his chat with Xu Ya. There wasn’t much to see anyway—after Xu Ya went abroad, they rarely talked.
A notification popped up—it was from Xu Ya’s mother, Cao Jie:
Cao Jie: “Xingchen, have you been busy lately? Xiaoya is back, let’s have a meal together.”
Lan Xingchen saw the message. She didn’t know about the issues between him and Xu Ya, nor that the closeness they once had had already faded.
He hesitated for a long moment, then replied: “Another day, Auntie. I’ve been busy at the company, and both my partners are on business trips, so I’m handling most of the work. Once I’m free, I’ll treat you and Uncle to a meal.”
Cao Jie didn’t think much of it, assuming he was genuinely busy. She replied kindly: “Take care of yourself, Xingchen. Even if you’re busy, remember to eat on time. If anything happens, you can call me or your uncle anytime.”
Lan Xingchen felt warmth in his heart.
“Got it, thank you, Auntie. You and Uncle take care too,” he replied.
Often, Lan Xingchen felt that if it weren’t for Xu Ya’s parents, his friendship with Xu Ya might have ended long ago—never dragging on like this, tangled and lingering.
But even if dragged out, there had to be closure.
If he had clung to illusions before, today he finally saw clearly—now, they were no longer friends, let alone best friends who shared everything.
Lan Xingchen reopened their chat, tapped Xu Ya’s profile picture, and slowly pressed the three dots in the top right.
When he hit delete, he felt unexpectedly calm.
It felt light, as if something had slipped away from his world.
He looked at the silent, lonely night sky.
He had said goodbye to his parents, to his grandparents, and to his uncle—and now, he had deleted his once best friend.
His life seemed a series of farewells, a constant losing.
So he always tried hard to cherish certain people—like his uncle, like Xu Ya, and like Xu Ya’s parents.
But sometimes, just because he wanted to cherish someone didn’t mean the other would stay.
Everyone is independent; everyone has someone they wish to cherish.
Lan Xingchen recalled his childhood with Xu Ya.
They were truly playmates, knowing each other from infancy.
Their parents were friends, both women pregnant the same year, giving birth one after another, so naturally, the two boys grew up together, playing and going to school side by side.
Especially after his parents passed away, Xu Ya’s parents had taken exceptional care of him.
Lan Xingchen remembered that around fifth grade, his grandmother fell seriously ill, and his grandfather had to stay at the hospital to care for her. At the same time, his uncle had to deal with some urgent company matters.
Xu Ya’s parents had voluntarily taken him in, assuming responsibility for looking after him for more than half a semester.
In Lan Xingchen’s childhood, the places he spent the most time were his grandparents’ house, his uncle’s house, and Xu Ya’s house.
Even after he grew older, Xu Ya’s parents remained very attentive. Sometimes, when they went on trips or bought things, they would always prepare something for him as well.
In his senior year, Lan Xingchen had refused to join Anglai, saying he wanted to start his own business.
Xu Ya’s father even sought him out personally, asking if he wanted to work at their company.
“This company, when it was first founded, your parents were involved. Later, your mom had other ambitions, and your dad wanted to support her, so they gave up the management rights and kept only shares. As the company grew, your parents felt uneasy holding too many shares and returned some. That’s why you have the shares you hold now.”
“You’re grown, smart, and capable now. If you want, I’d be happy to have you work here. Your aunt thinks the same. What do you think?”
Lan Xingchen felt it was unnecessary.
He knew Xu Ya’s parents had treated him as half a son because of their friendship with his own parents, but the more that was the case, the less he could risk doing anything that might harm Xu Ya’s interests.
He didn’t want his joining Anglai to create a conflict with Ning Yuan, which could affect his uncle and aunt’s relationship.
Joining Xu Ya’s father’s company would likewise create potential conflicts with Xu Ya, affecting his relationship with Xu Ya’s parents.
“I’ve already discussed with my roommates; we’re committed to this plan. Giving up now would feel wrong,” Lan Xingchen said with a smile. “So, Uncle, don’t try to persuade me. If you and my parents, Aunt Cao, could start a company back then, why can’t I start one with my roommates?”
Xu Ya’s father smiled as if recalling something. “Back when I started a company with your dad, it was to have a reason to marry your mom and Aunt Cao. As for your mom and Aunt Cao, that was purely to give us the seed capital for the project.”
He sighed. “Well, your parents are strong-willed people, and you are their child. Naturally, you have your own determination. I won’t force you; whatever happens, I’ll have your back.”
Lan Xingchen felt touched and softened his tone. “Thank you, Uncle.”
At that time, he didn’t know how strained his relationship with Xu Ya would become.
Back then, he instinctively thought that because they had grown up together, with parents who were lifelong friends, their friendship would naturally mirror that of their parents.
But he soon realized it wasn’t so.
In the second half of senior year, Xu Jiannian confessed to him.
Lan Xingchen had never imagined Xu Jiannian liked him, much less secretly admired him for four years.
He rejected him with a heavy heart.
Xu Jiannian left, heartbroken.
Because of this, Xu Ya confronted him in the first irreconcilable argument they’d ever had in over twenty years.
He accused Lan Xingchen of coldness, condemned his rejection, and continually described Xu Jiannian’s secret love for him—how much he loved him, how desperately he wanted his affection.
He spoke so passionately, with such intensity, as if wishing that Lan Xingchen were the one being confessed to, so Xu Jiannian could receive love in return.
Lan Xingchen understood everything: Xu Jiannian liked him, and Xu Ya liked Xu Jiannian.
After returning home, he deleted Xu Jiannian’s WeChat—since he couldn’t reciprocate those feelings, there was no point in giving him hope.
The next day, Xu Ya confronted him, demanding to know why he deleted Xu Jiannian.
Lan Xingchen answered calmly, “I don’t like him. I didn’t know he liked me before, fine. Now that I do, I need to make my stance clear.”
Xu Ya was clearly unsatisfied with this answer.
“Jiannian is a great guy! He loves you so much, puts his whole heart into you. You won’t find anyone who loves you more than him. Why can’t you try to accept him?”
“Because I don’t like him.”
“You haven’t even tried. How do you know you wouldn’t like him if you were together?”
Lan Xingchen found this unreasonable. “I don’t like him. Why should I try to accept him or be with him?”
“But didn’t you get along fine?”
“I get along with you better than I would with him.”
“That’s not the same.”
“Of course it’s not the same,” Lan Xingchen said. “You are my best friend. He isn’t even my friend.”
Xu Ya seemed stunned, suddenly at a loss.
Their argument escalated, until Xu Ya angrily said, “If you don’t care about him, don’t take him seriously, then why did you even get involved with him?”
“You took him back to the dorm in the rain, escorted him back to school at night, even saved him. You helped him again and again, letting him fall for you, and then you rejected him. Xingchen, don’t you think that’s cruel to him?”
Lan Xingchen laughed through his anger. “I… got involved with him?”
He felt like he’d heard a joke.
“Do you call this getting involved? Xu Ya, why would I cross paths with him, help him, and end up in situations with him? Isn’t it all because of you?”
“When I took him back to the dorm in the rain, it was because I was looking for you and passed by the library when I heard him call; when I brought him back to school at night, it was because you said he hadn’t returned and you were worried, so I went to bring him back; as for saving him, wasn’t that also because you wanted him to join for dinner, and I happened to run into him near the restaurant?”
Lin Xingchen said angrily, “We’ve been friends since childhood. He’s the roommate you kept talking about when you first entered university. All the help and care I gave him, it was all because of you.
When you brought him in front of me and said, ‘This is my roommate, help look after him,’ you didn’t say I was flirting; when you dragged him to hang out with us, saying it would be fun with more people, you didn’t say I was flirting; when you privately told me not to be too cold to Xu Jiannian because he was young, you didn’t say I was flirting. And now you say I’m flirting?”
Xu Ya sighed helplessly. “Yes, yes, I reminded you! But now he has feelings for you. He loves you so much. Why can’t you give him a chance?”
“Don’t you want someone to always be with you? Especially now that your uncle is married—he can’t be with you forever. He’ll have his own children, whom he’ll love more than he could ever love you. Don’t you want someone who can love you the most, and only you?”
Lin Xingchen’s expression grew serious in an instant.
He said, “Xu Ya, don’t bring my uncle into this. What’s between the two of us doesn’t need him involved.”
Xu Ya opened his mouth to say something but closed it again.
Lin Xingchen looked at him, his gaze cold. Colder still was his voice: “Your feelings for Xu Jiannian are your own, but don’t use them to pressure me. I’ve rejected many people in my life—where were you to defend them?”
“Jiannian is different. He even started liking chocolate because you like it. He never used to eat it.”
Lin Xingchen was speechless. “So? Did I make him eat it? Is it a crime that I like chocolate? Should I stop eating it from now on?”
“That’s not what I mean,” Xu Ya said anxiously.
“You are exactly saying that,” Lin Xingchen said, feeling a stranger in his own words. “Xu Ya, not everyone who likes me deserves my affection. If someone has secretly liked me for four years, should I automatically be with them? Then if someone else comes along who’s liked me for six, eight, or twelve years, should I leave Xu Jiannian for them?”
“Of course not.”
“Then why? If four years of secret admiration from Xu Jiannian makes you ache, and you insist I be with him, then twelve years of secret admiration from someone else—three people each secretly loving me for four years—why can’t I leave Xu Jiannian for them?”
“Because only Xu Jiannian’s four years matter. The other twelve, eighteen years—who cares?”
Xu Ya froze, speechless.
That day, Xu Ya stayed with Lin Xingchen for a long time, and finally whispered, “Xingchen, we’ve been friends since childhood. I’ve never asked anything from you. Just this once… please, give me face. I beg you.”
Lin Xingchen never expected to have this kind of conversation with him.
At that time, he didn’t want to lose Xu Ya as a friend, so he added Xu Jiannian back.
But he still lost him.
Xu Ya chose to go abroad to study with Xu Jiannian.
Before that, they had promised to start a business together, to build a company like their parents had.
And now, he chose to leave.
“I’ll still invest, but I want to study abroad for a few years first. Anyway, the company’s technical support doesn’t rely on me, so it doesn’t matter whether I’m here or not,” Xu Ya said, offering a seemingly objective explanation.
Lin Xingchen listened and slowly nodded. “Fine.”
He didn’t take Xu Ya’s money. He said, “Go ahead. The three of us will manage the company. Whatever happens in the future, it’s no longer your concern.”
Xu Ya looked at him, a little lost. “Xingchen, you know that’s not what I mean. I don’t want to quit. I just… I can’t let go of Jiannian. He’s never been abroad, and now he’s heartbroken. You don’t know how bad his state has been lately. I just want to be with him.”
Lin Xingchen nodded. “I know. That’s why I agree. I let you go.”
“Since you’re leaving, there’s no need to leave money here.”
He didn’t need money. Not in the least. Over twenty years, he’d never lacked for money. His parents and grandparents had left him more than enough, and his uncle provided ample financial support.
Xu Ya’s money? He didn’t need it.
What he needed was Xu Ya himself, the meaning of walking this path together.
But he chose Xu Ya, and Xu Ya chose Xu Jiannian.
So they were destined not to be like their parents.
They couldn’t be lifelong friends. Lin Xingchen realized that very clearly that day.
As long as Xu Jiannian remained between them, they would inevitably drift apart.
Yet he could not give up the friendship of over twenty years, nor the bond he and Xu Ya’s parents shared for over two decades.
He never told Xu Ya’s parents about their argument. Originally, he planned to wait until everything settled to tell them Xu Ya was still part of the entrepreneurial team, to give them a surprise.
But Xu Ya left, so there was no need to say anything.
Time is always the sharpest blade, slicing away human emotions.
Some wounds bleed profusely; others feel nothing.
Three years were enough for him to move from initial reluctance to let go, to calm acceptance.
That day, Xu Ya’s parents returned from a trip, bringing many gifts. They came to Lin Xingchen’s home, presenting the gifts.
It happened to be mealtime. Lin Xingchen hadn’t eaten yet, so Cao Jie cooked several dishes. The three of them ate and chatted together.
It was the long-lost warmth Lin Xingchen hadn’t felt in years, as if returning to the days of his childhood living in Xu Ya’s home.
He looked at Xu Ya’s parents in front of him, who had loved him for so many years and whose hair had already started turning white without him noticing.
He thought, if they knew the gap between him and Xu Ya had grown so wide, how heartbroken would they be?
They were Xu Ya’s biological parents, but they had also truly cared for him for all these years.
Xu Ya would be back soon, and the truth would be impossible to hide.
No—perhaps he could still hide it.
Lin Xingchen thought, as long as Xu Ya no longer insisted he be with Xu Jiannian, he could yield on everything else.
He made that decision that day.
After sending off Xu Ya’s parents, he went to a bar and found the person who had been trying to get close to him these past few days—“Pei Qingjian.”
“Five million. Buy a year with me,” Lin Xingchen said plainly.
“Really?” Pei Qingjian blinked in shock for a moment before confirming.
“Mm,” Lin Xingchen replied, his tone indifferent.
He looked at Pei Qingjian, his face expressionless. His gaze seemed to be on him, yet somehow it was as if he wasn’t really looking at him at all.
Of course, Pei Qingjian wasn’t worth five million for a year, but that wasn’t what he was buying.
What he was buying was the twenty-plus years of friendship with Xu Ya, the twenty-plus years of bond with Xu Ya’s parents.
He thought, as long as he had someone by his side, Xu Ya might not insist so much on being with Xu Jiannian.
And if he took that one step back—just this one step—their friendship might still be salvaged.
Lin Xingchen didn’t lack money. If five million could recover the most sincere friendship of his life, it would be worth it.
But now he understood: when a friendship requires money to be rescued, it’s already at its end, at the brink of its life.
He sighed, setting his phone aside.
He had grown used to farewells. In childhood, he would cry endlessly at the death of his parents. Now, he could calmly let go of a friendship and keep moving forward.
There is no obstacle in this world that cannot be overcome. Survive it, and you gradually grow accustomed to loneliness.
He was lost in thought when he suddenly heard footsteps.
Turning around, Lin Xingchen saw Pei Qingjian happily running toward him.
“So happy?” Lin Xingchen asked.
Pei Qingjian nodded, sat up on the bed, and pulled the blanket around him.
He seemed a bit shy, his face gradually reddening.
Lin Xingchen: ???
“What’s going on?”
“Just…” Pei Qingjian tightened the blanket, his long lashes blinking rapidly, “I… feel better.”
“Better?” Lin Xingchen was momentarily confused. “Better how?”
Pei Qingjian lifted a finger and pointed downward. “The engine.”
Lin Xingchen: !!!
Shocked, he exclaimed, “Are you serious? You haven’t even checked yet! How can it be better?”
Pei Qingjian nodded, his face completely flushed, his voice barely audible.
“So… you still want me?”