Gong Yingxian sat motionless in his car for a while. Just as he was about to leave, he saw another car pull up in front of him. The door opened, and a tall, handsome man stepped out, carrying several gift bags.
Despite the bitterly cold weather, the man wore a denim jacket that looked far too thin. It was as though his muscular physique were a natural defense against the cold.
Gong Yingxian narrowed his eyes, immediately feeling displeased. The newcomer was none other than Yan Jue.
Yan Jue was the man who usually called Ren Yi his brother, fought alongside him at fire scenes, and had been the first to embrace him when Ren Yi came off the front lines injured. Not Gong Yingxian, but Yan Jue.
Gong Yingxian watched Yan Jue enter the fire station. He raised his wrist and stared at his watch as though he had a personal grudge against the hands, glaring at them relentlessly until they had gone around and around for a full five minutes. Then he quickly unfastened his seat belt, grabbed his coat, and prepared to get out. But after a moment’s thought, he tossed the cashmere overcoat back onto the seat.
When he entered the fire station, several firefighters who knew him greeted him.
“Dr. Gong, what brings you here?”
“I have something to take care of. Where’s your captain?”
“In the reception room.”
Gong Yingxian strode toward the reception room and knocked sharply on the door three times.
“Come in.”
Gong Yingxian pushed the door open. Seeing that Ren Yi and Yan Jue weren’t alone—Qu Yangbo was there too—he secretly breathed a sigh of relief.
Ren Yi looked surprised. “Why haven’t you gone back to the sub-bureau?”
“I remembered something on the way and came back.” Gong Yingxian glanced at Yan Jue expressionlessly.
Yan Jue looked awkward. The corners of his mouth twitched into a faintly mocking smile, and he was clearly unhappy about Gong Yingxian’s appearance.
Qu Yangbo greeted Gong Yingxian with a smile.
“What is it?” Ren Yi asked.
“I’ll tell you in private.” Gong Yingxian hadn’t come up with an excuse yet.
“Oh, if it’s not urgent, why don’t you sit with us for a while?” Ren Yi said. “Yan Jue came all the way from the western suburbs especially to see me. That’s quite a distance.”
“About thirty kilometers. Doesn’t sound all that far to me.” Gong Yingxian shot Yan Jue a sidelong glance before sitting down on a nearby sofa.
Yan Jue smiled at Ren Yi. “It’s not far. The Fifth Ring Road wasn’t congested, so the drive was pretty quick.”
“You really didn’t have to make a special trip. I’ve already been discharged. I’m fine now.”
“That’s because you wouldn’t let us visit you while you were in the hospital. And yesterday, at the funeral, we barely had a chance to talk. I’ve been worried about you.” Yan Jue paused. “As it happens, I haven’t taken leave in ages. I’ve been saying for a long time that I wanted to visit your station, but never got around to it. Now I’ve finally made it here. When are you coming to visit mine?”
“After the New Year, definitely. Once things settle down a little, I’ll take some leave too.”
Gong Yingxian gave a slight cough.
What the hell is Ren Yi talking about? He already promised to spend his leave with me.
“Seeing that you’re all doing reasonably well today puts my mind at ease,” Yan Jue said.
Qu Yangbo sighed. “Sun Dingyi’s death has dealt a huge blow to our entire station. We’ll always remember him and honor his memory, but we also know we can’t remain trapped in our grief forever. Especially as officers, our emotions affect those of the other firefighters, which in turn affects their safety.”
Yan Jue nodded respectfully. “Platoon Leader Sun was a genuine hero, a damn fine man.”
Ren Yi gave a bitter smile but said nothing.
Yan Jue continued, “Ren Yi, your command at Wenhui Mall was outstanding. Being able to complete the mission and rescue the trapped civilians under those circumstances is beyond what an ordinary person could do. No commander could guarantee they would pull it off. You need to stop blaming yourself so much for Platoon Leader Sun’s sacrifice.”
“I know. Everyone’s been telling me the same thing.”
“Because that’s genuinely what everyone believes.” Yan Jue gazed deeply at Ren Yi and said softly, “We don’t want you to be so hard on yourself.”
Gong Yingxian cursed inwardly.
You idiot. Stop bringing it up over and over. Ren Yi might actually start feeling a little better if you would just shut up.
“Don’t worry. I’ll get myself together, one way or another,” Ren Yi assured him.
“Hey, it’s almost dinner time.” Qu Yangbo grinned teasingly. “Captain Yan, you timed your visit to coincide with the meal, didn’t you?”
Yan Jue raised an eyebrow and smiled. “Of course. I came to inspect the food at your station.”
“Come on, then. Our two cooks are one from Sichuan and one from Guangdong. They’re excellent.” Qu Yangbo turned to Gong Yingxian. “Dr. Gong, why don’t you join us for dinner?”
Ren Yi hurriedly interjected, “He can’t—”
“Sure.” Gong Yingxian accepted without the slightest hesitation.
Ren Yi stared at him in astonishment.
“Captain Yan, I’ll show you around our station first,” Qu Yangbo said. “Then we’ll head to the canteen.”
Yan Jue hesitated, glancing at Ren Yi, but Qu Yangbo enthusiastically ushered him away.
Once the reception room was empty except for the two of them, Ren Yi asked, “You’re really going to eat at our station? But we don’t have any spare tableware, and our kitchen is just… an ordinary kitchen.”
“I’ll use your tableware,” Gong Yingxian said calmly.
Ren Yi was secretly pleased, but Gong Yingxian’s unusual behavior also made him uneasy. “What did you come back to see me about, anyway?”
“…I wanted to see Miaomiao.”
Ren Yi stared at him in disbelief. “You came all the way back just to see Miaomiao?”
“Why not?” Gong Yingxian said matter-of-factly. “Isn’t it my cat?”
“Yes, it is.” Ren Yi questioned him again. “Are you really here just to see Miaomiao?”
“Of course. It’s my cat, yet I’ve barely seen it.”
“If you want to see it, I can bring it over to your place for a few days. Ah, but whatever you do, don’t let it play with that blue snake of yours.”
“Sachiel. Maybe they’ll enjoy playing together.”
“I really don’t think that’s likely…”
“Why not?” Gong Yingxian stared straight at Ren Yi. “Do only things that are similar, things that have something in common, get to… play together? Can things that are very different not do that? Who made that rule? It makes no sense.”
Ren Yi was a little bewildered by what he was getting at. Gong Yingxian was acting increasingly strange. After thinking for a moment, he asked, “Did you come back because you were worried about me?”
“…Partly.” Gong Yingxian turned his head away. “Take me to see Miaomiao.”
“At this time of day, who knows where it’s off playing? How about we eat first? I’ll look for it afterward.”
The two headed toward the canteen.
Gong Yingxian couldn’t help asking, “Why did Yan Jue come to see you?”
“To see how I was doing.”
“Is he married?”
Ren Yi shot him a sidelong glance, looking utterly incredulous. “You actually care whether someone else is married? What’s gotten into you today? Do you have a fever?” As he spoke, he pretended to reach out and touch Gong Yingxian’s forehead.
Gong Yingxian pushed his hand down. “Just asking casually.”
“I don’t know. I’ve never asked.”
When they reached the canteen, Ren Yi told Gong Yingxian to sit down first. He went into the kitchen, had a separate meal portioned out for Gong Yingxian, and gave him his own personal tableware.
The firefighters gradually arrived for dinner. Qu Yangbo and Yan Jue had finished touring the station, too, and joined the two men at the same table.
Yan Jue glanced at the separate plate in front of Gong Yingxian and frowned.
Ren Yi explained, “Dr. Gong is a bit of a germaphobe. We’re used to it, so don’t mind him.”
Yan Jue smiled. “It’s not easy for someone with such a serious cleanliness obsession to eat with everyone else.”
Gong Yingxian shot back, “And it must not have been easy for you to travel all the way from the western suburbs just to eat this meal.”
Ren Yi felt a headache coming on. Ever since Gong Yingxian had thrown away Yan Jue’s cigarette, the two of them had never gotten along particularly well.
A glint of amusement flashed through Qu Yangbo’s eyes. He looked thoroughly entertained, as though he were settling in to watch a good show.
Ren Yi said to Gong Yingxian, “Just eat your food.”
Gong Yingxian expressionlessly picked up a bite of vegetables.
Seeing that Gong Yingxian’s tableware was different from everyone else’s, Yan Jue realized it must belong to Ren Yi. For a man with such a severe cleanliness obsession to use someone else’s tableware—and only that particular person’s—was enough to show how close the two of them were.
Yan Jue’s expression darkened. He lowered his head and began eating.
Trying to ease the tension, Ren Yi asked Yan Jue, “Hey, how many days off do you have? Got any plans?”
“Just two days. I came here specifically to see you, so I was thinking of staying at your station for both nights. What do you say?” Yan Jue smiled, the corner of his mouth curling up.
Gong Yingxian slowly raised his head and glared at Yan Jue.
“Of course, you’re welcome,” Ren Yi said with a smile. “As a matter of fact, aren’t you always bragging about how good your station’s training methods are? You can lead our morning training tomorrow and show us what you’ve got.”
Yan Jue raised an eyebrow. “So, should I train you hard or take it easy?”
“Just do it the way you do it at your own station. If your training is more intense than ours, that’ll give our guys a chance to see how good I’ve been to them all this time. If it’s less intense than ours…” Ren Yi chuckled. “Well, you’ll never be able to brag about it again.”
“No problem. I’ll make sure you get a good taste of it.” Yan Jue could feel Gong Yingxian’s hostile gaze, but it didn’t bother him in the slightest. “If you get called out on a response, I can go with you too. There aren’t many residential areas or commercial districts in my jurisdiction, so I haven’t had much experience at those kinds of fire scenes. I can treat it as training.”
Gong Yingxian put his chopsticks down with a sharp clack and looked at Ren Yi. “I’m done. Take me to see Miaomiao.”
“You’ve barely eaten anything.”
Yan Jue frowned. “You’ve finished eating, but Ren Yi hasn’t.”
Gong Yingxian looked at him coldly. “What business is that of yours?”
“You—”
“It’s fine. I’m not hungry,” Ren Yi hurriedly said. “You two keep eating.”
He shot Qu Yangbo a look, silently asking him to keep Yan Jue company.
Qu Yangbo gave a slight shrug.
The two men left the canteen. Once they reached an empty area, Ren Yi lowered his voice.
“Yingxian, what’s gotten into you? Even if you don’t like Yan Jue, there’s no need to be rude to his face. We’re all adults here.”
“He was rude first!” Gong Yingxian snapped. “At Wenhui Mall, he tried to drive me away. Today, he was the one who made the first sarcastic remark, too. And now you’re blaming me?”
“I’m not blaming you. I’m just saying… there’s no need for this.”
“What do you mean, there’s no need? Was it necessary for him to come see you? Was it necessary for him to insist on staying here for two days? Is it necessary for you to be friends with him?!”
Ren Yi looked at Gong Yingxian’s furious expression and felt a little weary. He loved Gong Yingxian, including his occasional unreasonable behavior and stubbornness, but this was not the time for it. Right now, Ren Yi was struggling to manage his own emotions. He said helplessly, “Yingxian, have you misunderstood something?”
Gong Yingxian pressed his lips together and said nothing.
“I’m gay, and he’s a handsome guy. Does that automatically mean there’s something going on between us just because we’re friends?” Ren Yi forced a smile. “Yangbo is pretty handsome, too. There are plenty of guys at our station with broad chests and long legs. Just because of my sexual orientation, are you going to look at every interaction I have with them through that kind of lens?”
“That’s not what I mean. But Yan Jue is different.” Gong Yingxian had always trusted his instincts, and his instincts told him that Yan Jue was different.
“Then I’m telling you now that we’re just friends. There’s nothing else going on. Okay?”
Gong Yingxian gazed deeply at Ren Yi, his brows still tightly knitted.
“Come on. Let’s go see Miaomiao.”
“I don’t want to anymore. I’m going back to the sub-bureau,” Gong Yingxian muttered.
“…Are you upset?”
“No.”
Ren Yi sighed. “Yingxian, could you please not sulk at me right now? I might not have the energy to coax you.”
“I told you I’m not sulking.” Gong Yingxian looked at Ren Yi’s slightly thinner face, his heart aching for him. Ren Yi was going through the most difficult period of his life. Was Gong Yingxian really behaving like an unreasonable child? He softened his tone and said quietly, “I’m not sulking.”
“All right, then… you’re really going back?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll walk you out,” Ren Yi said. “Where’s your overcoat? Did you leave it in the reception room?”
“No. I didn’t put it on.”
“Why aren’t you wearing your overcoat in this freezing weather?”
“I’m not cold.”