“Baby… baby my foot, you’re the ‘baby’…”
Ti Xiao seriously wanted to leap up and rip Xiao Yao’s face off for saying such blush-worthy things all the time. No matter how handsome he was, Ti Xiao could not just let it slide—he was this close to jumping and kicking Xiao Yao in the knees.
“Can’t you just talk normally?” Ti Xiao, trying to hide his embarrassment, quickly buried his head and shoveled food into his mouth so hard he almost choked.
Amid his series of coughing fits, Xiao Yao handed him a glass of water, and after Ti Xiao took the first sip, Xiao Yao teased, “Are you really that excited?”
Ti Xiao choked again.
Seriously, his luck was bad—he even got food stuck while drinking water.
Wiping his mouth, Ti Xiao glared at the mischievous Xiao Yao who looked all innocent but clearly meant something else.
That afternoon, Xiao Yao went to work, and Ti Xiao kept sitting on the ladder painting with Aunt Zhang.
“I just saw Xiao Yao; he was humming and seemed in a good mood,” Aunt Zhang said as she switched to a new piece of chalk. “Looks like you two have made up?”
Ti Xiao pouted as he mixed colors—no way had they fought, let alone made up. Xiao Yao just teased him at lunch and was feeling smug about it.
“You’re young and not married yet; take it slow. That’s just how life is for couples—there’s sweetness and bitterness,” Aunt Zhang continued. “Don’t rush things.”
Ti Xiao’s mind was on March twentieth coming up soon, the day for love’s big applause. Hearing Aunt Zhang say “don’t rush,” he nodded quietly.
Yeah, he really shouldn’t rush this. It was just that Xiao Yao didn’t get that. Maybe one day he’d drag him to meet Aunt Zhang to get a proper lesson.
They finished one blackboard and were about to start the other when Ti Xiao got a message from Gua Pi, still about publishing.
Editor Gua Pi: “Looks like the first edition might come out late April. I’ll send you a sample copy then.”
Smart and Brave Big Achoo: “That soon?”
Ti Xiao remembered the last time for Little Wolfdog, it took at least half a year.
Editor Gua Pi: “Yeah, because there’s an author meet-and-greet in June, and you’re on the list. Try to keep your schedule clear.”
There were lots of authors on the platform, and quite a few that Ti Xiao knew. The meet-up was basically a big offline fan meet.
Most authors were women, so the rare male authors inevitably got teased. When Ti Xiao first joined the author group, he was often playfully teased by the older sisters.
They chatted a bit more about publishing, and Ti Xiao glanced at the Spring Equinox on the board. He suddenly thought of something and after some thought sent a message to Gua Pi.
Smart and Brave Big Achoo: “Hey, Gua Pi, didn’t you say you have a boyfriend?”
Gua Pi probably wasn’t busy and replied instantly: “Yeah.”
Ti Xiao scratched his head and thought for a moment, then typed and sent another message, immediately putting down his phone to keep painting—but his ears were definitely red.
Smart and Brave Big Achoo: “So, are you on top or bottom? …If you’re bottom, can I interview you?”
Though Ti Xiao was a little gay himself and pretty experienced, he had no friends around him to talk about this stuff with. Gua Pi was the closest.
After sending, he felt awkward because the topic was so private and awkward. But it was already past the two-minute “recall” window.
He was just about to send “Never mind,” when Gua Pi replied.
Editor Gua Pi: “…”
Looks like a lot to say but no words.
Editor Gua Pi: “Let me put it this way… the next day I didn’t go to work, couldn’t sit down, lay there all day. I don’t even want to remember that awful day. But it depends on the person; it gets much better later. Just remember…”
Gua Pi’s message stopped there, leaving Ti Xiao scratching his head in frustration.
Remember what?!
After a while, Gua Pi sent a new message.
Editor Gua Pi: “Lubricant. That’s all I can help you with.”
Smart and Brave Big Achoo: “…”
Ti Xiao was silent. Driving the ship himself was going well, but…
Ahhh, is it too late to take it back now? Thinking of Xiao Yao’s meaningful smile, Ti Xiao wanted to cry.
Aunt Zhang noticed Ti Xiao’s mood swinging from excited to gloomy, face going red and white, and looking ready to bang his head against a wall. She asked, “Xiao Xiao, what’s wrong? Why aren’t you painting?”
“Ah? Sorry, I just got distracted,” Ti Xiao quickly lifted his brush to keep painting, though his mind had already flown far away.
Does it really hurt that much?
——————
Since the last time his livestream got banned and still hasn’t been unblocked, Ti Xiao was bored after finishing his manuscript. He started chatting with Gua Pi, who was about to get off work.
Smart and Brave Big Achoo: “If you keep laughing at me for my livestream getting banned, next time I’ll delay my submissions.”
Editor Gua Pi: “Bro, come on, I was just joking, please don’t delay your submissions, I beg you.”
Ti Xiao scratched his chin, listening to her comfortable hum.
Editor Gua Pi: “Actually, I found something good a few days ago but didn’t dare to tell you.”
Ti Xiao raised an eyebrow and sent back, “What is it?”
“Your livestream recording from that day.”
The hand scratching his chin suddenly pressed harder—he almost got a claw swipe from his little cat.
Smart and Brave Big Achoo: “……”
Editor Gua Pi: “Wow, I didn’t expect someone actually recorded it. But you and your guy are… well, hmm…”
“Hahaha, I only listened to a bit, but the voice sounded so familiar. Maybe people with nice voices all talk like that. My girl doesn’t sound like that at all.”
Smart and Brave Big Achoo: “Familiar my foot! Delete it quick, or I really will delay my manuscript.”
Ti Xiao bantered with Gua Pi, tapping the table with his fingertips in a steady rhythm—click click click.
The calendar already showed March 19, but Ti Xiao wasn’t as nervous as he was a few days ago. He felt a bit like, “A dead pig isn’t afraid of boiling water— the closer it gets, the more carefree I become.”
It was Friday today. Tomorrow was March 20, Saturday.
When Xiao Yao got off work and came back, Ti Xiao finally couldn’t hold back and asked, “Why the twentieth?”
By logic, shouldn’t Xiao Yao have suggested an earlier date?
Xiao Yao was putting groceries into the fridge and said calmly, “Because tomorrow’s Saturday. Sunday’s a day off—I don’t want to finish and then have to wake up and go straight to work again.”
Ti Xiao: “……”
So the whole plan is just so clever???
I bet Sunday isn’t just a simple day off!
Watching Xiao Yao head into the kitchen, Ti Xiao suddenly started worrying about his own “chrysanthemum”…
He wanted to run away from home.
The next day, March 20, this dead pig finally felt the boiling water — even cold water felt hot.
Xiao Yao came back from his morning run, drenched in sweat. As soon as he walked in, he took off his shirt, and sweat traced the contours of his upper body muscles, soaking a ring around the edges of his sweatpants.
Ti Xiao, unusually awake early, sat drowsily in the living room waiting for breakfast.
What Ti Xiao didn’t notice was that Xiao Yao had brought back a plastic bag with two small boxes inside.
“Why are you up so early?” Xiao Yao asked during lunch.
“Just couldn’t sleep, so I got up,” Ti Xiao mumbled with his mouth full of rice.
“What do you want for dinner?” Xiao Yao asked.
Normally, this was such a routine question — they had said it at least a thousand times before. But on a day like today, Ti Xiao heard it as if it were a “last supper.”
“W-whatever,” Ti Xiao nervously almost hiccupped. “Let’s just eat what we normally eat today…” He was trying hard to convince himself that today was just an ordinary day.
“Alright, I’m going to rest a bit,” Xiao Yao said, pinching his cheek. “After you finish eating, just leave your bowl there. I’ll wash it when I wake up.”
Hiccup. Ti Xiao nodded.
So early and already conserving energy, huh?
While Xiao Yao was sleeping, Ti Xiao sneaked back to his own place and looked up some technical tips on his computer. His face kept flushing red and then pale, and in the end, he shut the laptop and quietly slipped back.
Biting his lip, he thought: whether the head gets one stab or a lock gets one, left or right, he’s going to get it anyway — might as well just accept it.
Since he was going to get “eaten,” he might as well go all out and cause some trouble before then.
“Change your profile picture,” Ti Xiao said suddenly at dinner. “Your WeChat picture looks bad.”
Xiao Yao’s WeChat profile picture hadn’t changed for a long time, so Ti Xiao sent him a picture of Patrick Star. “Use this one. Change it quickly.”
Just as Xiao Yao swapped in the Patrick Star image, the group chat with Li Yi and the others exploded with messages asking if his account was hacked. They wanted the calm and collected Xiao Yao back. Even his grandfather, Sheng Xiao, couldn’t help but ask about it.
To this, Xiao Yao could only say: you all don’t understand the essence of couple profile pics.
After one round of mischief came another. The water of the “boiling frog” was already scorching hot. Ti Xiao wasn’t sure if he was afraid of the heat or just stalling for time, but after dinner he insisted on going for a walk.
Keep in mind, before this, Ti Xiao would always lie down on the carpet after eating, unwilling to move, no matter how much Xiao Yao pulled him.
Xiao Yao smiled, took his little hand, and they walked around the neighborhood several times.
“Looks like Xiao Hulu needs a bath,” Ti Xiao said when they got home, using the cat as an excuse again.
Xiao Hulu: Meow? I just had a bath a few days ago, okay?
Xiao Yao humored him and took Xiao Hulu to the bathroom for a proper wash, poor little cat suffering an innocent fate.
After giving Xiao Hulu a bath, it was already nine at night, completely dark outside. The emotions Ti Xiao had gotten under control during the day gradually collapsed with the passage of time. His eyes darted around, looking for something to distract Xiao Yao.
Before he could find anything, Xiao Yao yawned. “A bit sleepy. How about you?”
Ti Xiao pursed his lips without answering — no matter how he heard that sentence, it sounded like an invitation to bed.
“I’ll go shower first. Wait until the bathroom gets warmer before you come in,” Xiao Yao said, patting Ti Xiao’s shoulder and walking to the bathroom.
Ti Xiao was left sitting alone in the living room, unsure what to do.
Maybe… he should sneak back to his own place, lock the door, and ignore any calls.
When Ti Xiao reached his door, he found it locked from the inside.
Great. Just great. Absolutely great.
Ti Xiao put on a faint smile in his heart and started rummaging through drawers for the key, trying not to make too much noise.
But even after Xiao Yao finished his shower and came out, Ti Xiao still hadn’t found the key. He turned to him with a mournful look and said, “Why did you lock the door from the inside?”
Xiao Yao’s hair was still wet, droplets dripping down. He was shirtless, only loosely wrapped in a towel around his waist. His fit, muscular body was fully exposed, radiating pure hormones just standing there.
Eight-pack abs???
Ti Xiao counted them and thought Xiao Yao must have grown up on protein powder. How had he never noticed before?
That “stud dog” waist that had enchanted him the first time they met was now fully on display—powerful and explosive, with a carved-in mermaid line slanting down into forbidden territory.
Xiao Yao poured himself a glass of water and downed it before speaking: “Why’d you lock the door? Don’t you have any clue what’s going on in your own head?”
Ti Xiao: “…”
Xiao Yao: “Alright, stop messing around. Go shower.”
Ti Xiao swallowed hard, his cheeks flushing. Before Xiao Yao looked back at him, he slipped into the bathroom like a fugitive.
