“How did you stay in there so long? How is my older brother?”
Bai Lian replied quietly, “He’s doing very well.”
Ning Zhengyu glanced once more at the ancestral hall. He had enough sense not to keep pressing the matter.
Bai Lian then made another trip to Bao’an Hall. The old matriarch was already awake and was drinking the medicinal decoction that Bai Lian had instructed to be prepared when he came earlier.
After resting for a while, with her head no longer aching, the old matriarch’s fatigue had eased somewhat. Her complexion already looked much improved.
Bai Lian took her pulse again and said pointedly, “Old Madam must keep her emotions steady. Otherwise, it will be easy to trigger a relapse.”
The old matriarch responded, “It’s been hard on you, having to make a special trip back.”
“This is what I ought to do.”
After finishing the consultation, Bai Lian paced back and forth outside Bao’an Hall, considering whether he should return to the medical clinic or go to Tianmendong.
After hesitating for a while, seeing that there was no one nearby, he quickly slipped into Dimu Garden.
“Young Master, you’re back?”
As soon as he went in, he ran straight into San Leng. Bai Lian scratched his head a little awkwardly. San Leng, on the other hand, seemed to have expected his return and smoothly reached out to take his medical case.
“This servant has just tidied Young Master’s bedroom again. The bedding has also been changed to new.”
Seeing this, Bai Lian said, “I thought you’d been reassigned elsewhere to do other duties.”
“How could that be? Before the eldest young master left, he told this servant to take care of Tianmendong just as before, so that it would be convenient for Young Master to stay when you returned. Tianmendong is cleaned every day.”
Bai Lian pressed his lips together, gave a dry cough, and went inside.
Everything was just as it had been.
“San Leng, send someone to inform my father that I’m staying in the residence tonight to look after Old Madam’s health. I won’t be going back this evening.”
“Yes.”
Bai Lian entered the bedroom. Seeing the soft bedding, he dove straight into it, rubbing against it from side to side. The quilts in the residence were the warmest and softest he had ever slept in. He had not lain in them for many days, and he truly missed them.
Later that evening, Bai Lian went to the kitchen and made some pastries, preparing to secretly deliver them to Ning Muyan. Even though he looked like he was perfectly fine, a person could not go on starving forever.
He placed the freshly steamed pastries into a food carrier and carefully carried it toward the ancestral hall. Just as he reached the entrance, he saw a group of people standing there.
It turned out the old matriarch had come over.
Bai Lian quickly retreated and hid again. The old matriarch really could not sit still—her headache had only just eased, yet she had already come to see Ning Muyan again, not afraid of being angered all over again.
The door of the ancestral hall creaked open. Only the old matriarch went inside.
“Grandmother has come,” Ning Muyan had already heard the sounds outside from within the hall. Hearing the door open and footsteps entering, though the person behind him had not spoken, he still knew who it was. “Is Grandmother’s health all right?”
“Thanks to you, I haven’t yet had my breath cut off and gone to see your parents,” the old matriarch replied.
“Muyan contradicted Grandmother and feels deep remorse.”
The old matriarch said coldly, “From what I see, you don’t feel the slightest bit of remorse. You knew full well what would happen, yet you still did it.”
Having said that, the old matriarch knew that saying such empty words here was of no use at all. Another argument would only make the household even more unsettled.
Ning Muyan had already done something akin to an emperor requesting not to enter the palace examination. From now on, he would naturally have no such opportunity. Since matters had already come to this, saying anything more was meaningless. She had also calmed down by now.
“You have been intelligent since childhood. Your parents, teachers, and clan elders all valued you, and you have never done anything rebellious. So why, now?”
“The situation at court is unstable. If I were to enter officialdom this time, I would inevitably be drawn into court factional struggles. When that happens, what would become of the Ning family? No one understands that better than I do,” Ning Muyan said. “Grandmother, I am Father’s eldest son. I grew up under Father’s personal guidance. After Father passed away, I took upon myself the heavy responsibility of the Ning family. Would I ever harm the Ning family?”
The old matriarch also understood his character, which was why she could not think of a reason.
But was it not too early to plan so far ahead?
Ning Muyan continued, “I went to sit for the examinations so as not to fail Father’s and my teachers’ years of careful instruction, and to let everyone know that the Ning family is not without strength. As for withdrawing from the center of political power, that is for the future. The Ning family may not be illustrious, but it can endure.”
The old matriarch shook her head. In truth, she had thought it through carefully. Even if the Ning family were to reach great heights, how many more years could she live to see it? In the end, the future of the Ning family would still rest on Ning Muyan.
What she could not let go of was the pity she felt for Ning Muyan’s talent. First place in all three examinations—such an achievement ought to have led him into the Hanlin Academy.
Scholars cherish talent; how could she be any different?
Yet seeing how resolute Ning Muyan was, he clearly was not acting out of rash emotion. He must truly have learned something.
Now the Emperor was advanced in years. The Bian family maneuvered on the sidelines, and several princes eyed one another like tigers at court. It truly was a turbulent time. A single misstep could bring disaster upon nine generations. Not long ago, she herself had warned Tan Yun not to associate too closely with the Bian family, but that woman had treated her words as mere wind past the ears.
Now that Muyan had abandoned the examinations and returned to the capital, the Bian family—who had previously been coming and going with great frequency—suddenly cooled off. Inevitably, suspicion arose in her heart.
“Grandmother is old. Perhaps I can no longer see the situation at court clearly, nor perceive things as thoroughly as you do. Since you have already sought another path for the Ning family from His Majesty, there is no point in saying more now. Whatever choice you make, do not fail the Ning family that your father worked so hard to uphold.”
Ning Muyan kowtowed to the old matriarch. “Thank you, Grandmother, for your understanding.”
“You may rise.”
Bai Lian was lying prone outside the ancestral hall, trying to hear what Ning Muyan and the old matriarch were saying, afraid that he might anger the old woman again. That way, he could rush in at once to save her. Otherwise, as Ning Zhengyu had said, if Ning Muyan ended up bearing the charge of unfilial conduct as well, what then?
The ancestral hall was spacious. Bai Lian could not make out a single sentence of what was said inside. But not being able to hear anything had its advantages—it meant there had been no quarrel.
Before long, Bai Lian heard the sound of the door opening. Then Nanny Kang supported the old matriarch as she came out and left.
Bai Lian secretly glanced at the old matriarch’s expression as she departed. It was quite calm—so it seemed the matter had been talked through.
He was just about to go in and check on Ning Muyan when, before he could even lift his foot, he saw Ning Muyan walk out of the ancestral hall. For a moment, Bai Lian felt too embarrassed to approach and was about to slip away when—
“Bai Lian.”
“You’re not coming over to help me up?”
Bai Lian stopped short and turned back. He saw Ning Muyan bracing himself against the door of the ancestral hall, looking as though he could not straighten his back.
“Weren’t you walking just fine a moment ago?”
“I’ve already run out of strength by the time I got here.”
Bai Lian set the food carrier down on the ground and still reached out to support Ning Muyan. “Didn’t Old Madam tell you to kneel for three days?”
“Is your heart made of stone? You really want me to kneel for three days?”
“I just mean that Old Madam still dotes on you in the end.”
“Mm.” Ning Muyan answered, then looked at Bai Lian. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Don’t you feel sorry for me?”
Bai Lian pursed his lips and quickened his pace, wanting to hurry and dump him back in a room.
“Not back to the room. To Tianmendong.”
Bai Lian halted. “Why go to Tianmendong?”
“I’ve been kneeling for so long—aren’t you going to put some medicine on me?”
Bai Lian did not say anything more.
The two of them went to Tianmendong. Bai Lian helped him sit down by the medicine table, opened his medical case, and took out the ointment for injuries. In no time, Ning Muyan had already taken off his shoes himself.
Bai Lian rolled up his pant leg. His knee was a mottled red and purple, already swollen, like a thick flatbread, with fabric marks pressed into the injured area.
If he really had knelt for three days, these legs would have been practically ruined.
Bai Lian warmed the ointment in his palm, then slowly applied it from the edges inward, bit by bit, until it covered the injured spot.
“Hiss—easy.”
Bai Lian paused and looked up at Ning Muyan. “I’m already being very gentle. If Young Master thinks my hands are too rough and clumsy, then you might as well call Qingmo over.”
Ning Muyan shut his mouth.
Only then did Bai Lian continue. “Rest well these next few days. Don’t walk around too much. It’s just a surface injury—it’ll heal quickly.”
“Mm.”
After applying the ointment, Bai Lian took a small fan and fanned the treated area so it would dry faster. That way, when the pant leg was lowered, it would not stick to the medicine.
“By the way, when you went to seek an audience with His Majesty, how did he agree to it?”
“I said that Father and I were both wholeheartedly loyal to His Majesty, that Father’s wish in life had been to teach and educate others, and that I wanted to fulfill my late father’s wish. His Majesty remembered all that Father had done for the court in the past, exhausting himself for the state, and so he agreed to my request.”
Bai Lian’s brow twitched. “So you mean… you’ll be teaching from now on?”
Ning Muyan nodded.
Bai Lian pressed his lips together. “…Do you even know how to teach students?”
“Why wouldn’t I? In my previous life, after returning from Lingnan, I started setting up an academy. Doing it again now is just moving the timing up a bit—returning to an old trade, that’s all.”
“What, is something wrong? Didn’t I teach you quite well?”
Bai Lian put away the fan. “Give me a break. I already knew all that in my previous life. Don’t go taking credit for yourself.”
At that, Ning Muyan fell silent. After a long while, he frowned and said, “I’m sorry. I thought what I could give you would make up for things, but in the end, it turned out to be something you don’t even need.”
Bai Lian opened his mouth, but no words came out.
“In the past, I was busy with court affairs and rarely managed household matters. By the time I learned that Bian Daiyun had been bullying you, you had already suffered so many grievances.”
Bai Lian knew this was not Ning Muyan’s fault. As a concubine, he was half a master at best; at worst, just a servant. Serving the principal wife was simply part of his duty.
Back then, Ning Muyan barely even saw Bian Daiyun. A concubine being reprimanded by the principal wife was the most ordinary thing in any household. How could such a trivial matter ever reach Ning Muyan’s ears?
Besides, he had originally been bound to Ning Muyan by an accident of fate. Someone like Ning Muyan—would he really develop special feelings for him because of that? It was already rare enough that he had shown him some pity in the beginning.
Bai Lian smiled faintly. “Actually, you’ve already done what I once hoped for. Even if times have changed, and everything came a bit too late.”
Hearing this, Ning Muyan grabbed Bai Lian’s hand. “Then can we start over?”
Bai Lian was startled. He lowered his eyes. “We never even started.”
Ning Muyan tested the waters. “Then start from now.”
“There’s a difference in status between Young Master and me—”
“I know what you’re worried about.” Before Bai Lian could finish, Ning Muyan said urgently, “Leave everything to me. Other than you, I will never marry anyone else.”
Bai Lian took a deep breath.
“Once the academy is properly settled, I’ll go to the Jiang family to propose marriage. Then we’ll marry, all right?”
Bai Lian was a little overwhelmed, at a loss for what to do. Ning Muyan reached out and held his shoulders, drawing him into his embrace.
“If you haven’t thought it through yet, I won’t force you. But don’t avoid me.”
Bai Lian clenched his hands. He was silent for a long time, struggling inside—hesitation, fear, uncertainty… so many emotions flashed through his heart.
“…Okay.”
In the end, what he said aloud was still the deepest voice hidden beneath all that hesitation.
They had once missed each other because they did not understand each other’s feelings. Now that there was a new chance, why torment each other again?
He could no longer deceive his own heart.
“I said that once your academy is settled, you can come and propose. I agree.”
Bai Lian murmured the explanation again, afraid that Ning Muyan might not have understood him.