The sound of the water clock rang out again.
Kneeling before the Buddha, Xue Yan was bored out of his mind, so he simply began reciting the military treatises he had read. Those military books were filled with the ways of warfare and killing, heavy with bloodshed. Facing the compassionate Buddha who pitied all living beings, Xue Yan did not care in the slightest, lazily muttering the words in his mind.
Just then, he heard a young novice monk behind him quietly chant a Buddhist invocation.
“Amitabha. Benefactor, you have come so late at night. May I ask what brings you here?” the young novice monk asked.
Xue Yan knew this certainly could not be someone from the Eastern Depot. The Eastern Depot’s agents came and went without a trace, paying particular attention to concealing their movements. They would never allow themselves to be so easily spotted by a young monk.
Then he heard a clear, cool voice, gentle and warm like snowmelt flowing through a mountain stream.
“I could not sleep, so I came to pay my respects to the Buddha,” he said. “Little Master, you need not attend to me. Go and rest.”
Jun Huailang?
Xue Yan’s back stiffened. For a moment, it was almost as if he were hallucinating. His mind went completely blank, unable to hold a single thought.
…What had he come here for?
On the other side, the young novice monk answered affirmatively, performed a Buddhist salute toward Jun Huailang, and turned to leave. Jun Huailang watched him walk away and let out a long breath. He lowered his head and glanced at the cloak he was awkwardly clutching in his arms.
Under the cloak, a food box was clumsily concealed.
Only after the young novice monk had gone far away did Jun Huailang turn back and look into the Buddhist hall.
Lamps were lit inside, making the hall very bright. In front of the Buddha altar stood a row of tall candles, their flames flickering against the Buddha statue and reflecting brilliant golden light. In the lofty, spacious Buddhist hall, Xue Yan knelt in the center, his back straight, surrounded by enormous Buddha statues, making him look somewhat small.
Jun Huailang stepped over the threshold and entered.
He stopped beside Xue Yan and lowered his head to look at him. At that very moment, Xue Yan raised his head, the warm yellow candlelight reflected in his eyes.
Perhaps the candlelight was too warm in color. From those cold, pale eyes of Xue Yan’s, Jun Huailang actually saw a trace of burning emotion.
“I came to bring you some things,” Jun Huailang said, handing the cloak in his hands toward Xue Yan.
Xue Yan did not take it. Instead, his gaze shifted to the food box in Jun Huailang’s hands.
Jun Huailang awkwardly cleared his throat and said, “These… were all sent by my aunt. She asked me to tell you that she wronged you today, and she feels very sorry about it.”
“All of them?” Xue Yan asked.
Jun Huailang had never been very good at lying. He looked away and answered vaguely, “Some of them.”
To tell him to his face that he had specially packed up the midnight snack meant for himself and brought it to him in the middle of the night was something Jun Huailang absolutely could not bring himself to say.
Yet he heard Xue Yan let out a low laugh.
“Are you stupid?” he said.
“What?” Jun Huailang was startled.
Then he saw Xue Yan calmly raise his head and look toward the great Buddha before him, speaking evenly.
“At the time, it was clearly I who lost your younger sister. Why did you not blame me, but instead help me?”
Jun Huailang was rendered speechless. For a moment, he did not know how to answer.
Because even he could not explain it clearly.
He loved his younger sister and did not want her to suffer even the slightest grievance, much less become entangled with Xue Yan again in any way. Yet deep down, he also knew very clearly that the Xue Yan of this life was still innocent and had suffered a false accusation.
Thus, he had done what he did, and because of it, he had seen the truth he had missed in his previous life.
There should never have been any conflict between his sister and Xue Yan. The entire cause had merely been the pranks and jokes of the Second Prince and his group.
He lowered his head and looked at Xue Yan. After thinking everything through, his heart had instead become calm. Even the hatred brought to him by that book from his previous life had faded considerably.
In this life, the misunderstanding had been resolved, and Xue Yan and Jun Linghuan could stop at the affection between siblings. Thus, there was no longer any need to pursue what had happened in his previous life.
Jun Huailang had also abandoned that thought.
Thinking this, as if he were making one final confirmation with Xue Yan, Jun Huailang said, “Because you said that from now on, you would be Linghuan’s older brother. Since you have already made that promise, I do not believe you will break it.”
As he spoke, he bent down and placed the food box on the ground, shook out the cloak, and draped it over Xue Yan.
He moved closer to Xue Yan. The clean, cool scent of wood was so faint that it was almost imperceptible, yet it wrapped around Xue Yan from near and far, causing his entire body to stiffen, as though he had been shackled with a thousand-jin weight.
After a moment, Xue Yan’s numb senses slowly returned.
He gave a low but clear hum.
“I will not be this careless again in the future,” he said word by word.
His voice was not loud, but Jun Huailang could hear the certainty and promise within it. A smile unconsciously spread across his face. With one hand, he lifted the hem of his robe and knelt down on the prayer cushion beside Xue Yan.
“I heard Linghuan say that you were going to get her a lantern?” Jun Huailang asked, naturally opening the food box in front of him. “What kind of lantern?”
In truth, Jun Linghuan had not told him this. He had dreamed of it. In the dream, he vaguely remembered that the lantern was very beautiful, so beautiful that he had been unable to resist stepping forward and taking it down, wanting to place it in his younger sister’s hands.
He wanted to know what kind of lantern it was.
Xue Yan, however, paused.
What was beautiful or not, he had never been able to remember, nor had he ever paid attention to such things. He only remembered that when Jun Linghuan had looked at that lantern, her eyes had looked especially similar to Jun Huailang’s.
He glanced at Jun Huailang but said nothing.
“Hmm?” Jun Huailang met his pale-colored eyes, puzzled.
Then he saw Xue Yan casually turn his gaze away and say, “Forgot.”
…It had only been this long, and he had already forgotten?
Jun Huailang was somewhat astonished. Then he saw Xue Yan kneeling before the Buddha, quite naturally reaching out and taking a pastry from the food box. He bit into it.
“Thank you.”
When Jun Huailang looked up, he saw Xue Yan looking at him. In those eyes filled with emotions that were impossible to read, there was actually a faint trace of a smile.
Across two lifetimes, Jun Huailang had never seen Xue Yan smile.
Though that man had stunning features, he was cold and sharp by nature. He had never expected that, even though his expression remained cold at this moment, the ice in his eyes would melt away, suddenly becoming bright enough to make one’s heart skip a beat.
Jun Huailang instinctively hurriedly looked away. The moment he raised his eyes, he met the compassionate gaze of the Buddha beneath the candlelight.
As though suddenly coming to his senses, Jun Huailang rarely showed a panicked expression. He hurriedly reached out and snatched the pastry from Xue Yan’s hand, placing it back into the food box.
This was a sacred Buddhist place. Meat and fish were the greatest taboo here!
When Fuyi had prepared the food, he had not noticed. There were several dishes containing meat in the food box, and the pastry Xue Yan was holding was even filled with beef and chicken fir mushroom.
His mind had been occupied by too many things today. How could he have forgotten this?
Jun Huailang hurriedly opened the food box and gathered the dishes that had come into contact with meat onto one layer, hiding them at the very bottom of the food box.
Xue Yan watched from the side, finding it amusing.
This cool, little-immortal-like young man rarely became so flustered. It was obvious that he was accustomed to being waited upon in his daily life and never concerned himself with mundane chores. Now, as he hurriedly tidied things up, he was uncharacteristically at a loss, looking rather adorable.
He had never expected that in the end, he would even look like a little mouse hiding food, putting all the meat-containing dishes at the very bottom, as though the Buddha could truly see them.
The corners of Xue Yan’s lips unconsciously curved upward.
After finishing his tidying, Jun Huailang did not forget to bend down and bow to the Buddha.
He had no particular religious faith, but he had always held such things in reverence. He also knew that in Buddhist territory, he ought to follow their rules and not needlessly defile a sacred place.
“Disciple was careless and committed an offense. I ask the Buddha to forgive me,” Jun Huailang said, remembering to apologize.
Xue Yan, however, let out a soft laugh beside him.
“You believe in him too?”
Jun Huailang stood up and saw Xue Yan leisurely watching him from the side. Although he was also kneeling, he showed not the slightest trace of reverence. Instead, he looked relaxed and unrestrained.
“What is there to hide?” Xue Yan curled his lips and casually glanced at the Buddha. “I am the one eating meat in front of him. One bite is still eating it. If he wants to punish someone, let him punish me.”
He spoke so casually that there was even a trace of teasing toward the Buddha before him.
Jun Huailang lowered his voice. “Watch what you say.”
Xue Yan merely smiled.
“That is simply how things are. There is no need to fear him,” he said. “If he truly opened his eyes, he should have taken me away long ago. I have killed so many people and incurred so many karmic debts. That is a much greater sin than eating a bite of meat in front of him.”
Jun Huailang felt somewhat stifled upon hearing this.
He had always thought that those whose lives were difficult would place their hopes in gods and Buddhas. He had never considered that if suffering reached a certain point, one might stop believing even in the gods and Buddhas.
It was a numbness born from having already abandoned hope.
Jun Huailang could not help but say solemnly, “How can the people you kill on the battlefield be mentioned in the same breath as this? Besides, what karmic debts have you incurred? Do not let people casually call you a Calamity Star and then put such a label on yourself.”
Xue Yan’s gaze deepened, while amusement also arose in his heart.
He truly did not know what this man’s heart was made of.
Everyone under Heaven said he was a Calamity Star. Even he himself firmly believed it, yet this particular person simply refused to believe it.
Was he not afraid at all?
Then he heard Jun Huailang continue, “As long as you do not recklessly kill innocent people in the future, the gods and Buddhas will not condemn you.”
Xue Yan could not help looking at Jun Huailang.
What? A man this bold actually wanted to teach him to fear those clay statues of gods and Buddhas?
Although Jun Huailang had said this only because he wanted Xue Yan to have some reverence and not speak recklessly in Buddhist territory, when faced with Xue Yan’s straightforward gaze, he still felt embarrassed and subtly looked away.
Then he heard Xue Yan ask, “Are you saying this because you intend to keep watch over me for someone?”
Jun Huailang thought somewhat helplessly to himself: Of course I am. After all, among the innocent people you will recklessly kill in the future, my entire family will be included.
“Consider it that way,” Jun Huailang said.
The corners of Xue Yan’s lips curled up almost imperceptibly.
He had never expected that a wild wolf accustomed to freedom, upon hearing that someone wanted to put a halter around his neck, would find the emotion in his heart impossible to suppress—longing and delight, even to the point of wanting to wag his tail.
Yet his expression showed none of it. He merely said indifferently, “Since that is the case, then you had better keep an eye on me.”
He raised his eyes and glanced at the Buddha statue once more.
Since he wants me to believe in you, I suppose I can give you this much face. It is not as though it is impossible.