From Changning Street all the way back to Prince Dun’s Manor, Shu Changyu kept his lips pressed together and didn’t say another word.
Not until the imperial physician hurried over to the manor to bandage Jing Mu’s wound did Shu Changyu finally sit silently to one side, watching without uttering a single word.
Jing Mu’s eyes kept darting toward Shu Changyu, secretly studying his expression.
His face was cool and composed now, his eyes no longer red. His gaze remained fixed on the imperial physician’s hands. Yet Jing Mu’s heart still echoed with the image of Shu Changyu cursing him through tears, calling him a “brat.” The memory made his chest burn with sweetness, more effective than any anesthetic.
But having a wound bandaged hurt far more than receiving the cut itself.
His arm couldn’t fully extend, and the physician had to apply medicine before carefully wrapping the injury. Every time the wound was pulled, Jing Mu’s hand twitched involuntarily in pain, and he hissed through clenched teeth.
In the middle of it all, he couldn’t help thinking—
Why won’t Shifu scold me a few more times? If he did, maybe it wouldn’t hurt at all.
But Shu Changyu remained silent, so Jing Mu stayed quiet as well.
The third time he sucked in a sharp breath from the pain, Shu Changyu suddenly spoke in his cold voice from behind him.
“Physician Qiu, how many years have you served in the palace?”
Caught off guard, the physician immediately stopped what he was doing.
“Replying to Lord Shu, it has been a little over six years.”
“Then that isn’t a short time.” Shu Changyu said coolly. “So why is it that you still don’t know how to dress a wound with a gentler hand?”
The physician hurriedly apologized.
“I… This humble official will be more careful.”
Shu Changyu merely gave a quiet “Mm,” his face still cold as he fell silent again.
Looking at him, Jing Mu couldn’t help cursing in his heart.
Holy shit… Shifu is… way too adorable.
Then he saw Shu Changyu’s moon-cool eyes turn toward him.
Jing Mu quickly lowered his gaze, hiding the blazing affection in his eyes behind his eyelashes, while deliberately hissing dramatically through his teeth a few more times.
Physician Qiu: Your Highness, I’m already being as gentle as I possibly can! Please don’t ruin my livelihood!
—
By the time Physician Qiu left, it was already deep into the night.
After Shu Changyu escorted him out, he turned to leave as well.
“Shifu!”
Jing Mu hurriedly called out to stop him.
Shu Changyu turned back to look at him.
Jing Mu sat on the edge of the bed, his right hand wrapped in thick layers of bandages, looking utterly pitiful.
Looking up at Shu Changyu, he said, “Shifu, it’s already past curfew.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Shu Changyu replied after a brief pause.
Jing Mu persisted.
“Shifu, my hand really hurts. Stay with me for a while.”
This time, no matter how hard he tried, Shu Changyu simply couldn’t make himself walk away.
After a long moment, he let out a nearly inaudible sigh, turned around, walked back to Jing Mu, and sat in the chair beside the bed.
His heart was filled with conflicting emotions.
He ached over Jing Mu’s injured hand, yet he was also mortified that he had shed tears in front of him earlier.
He didn’t want to stay.
The moment he looked at Jing Mu’s hand, his own heart tightened painfully.
But he couldn’t refuse the hopeful look in Jing Mu’s eyes.
After sitting down, he sighed softly.
“Does it hurt badly?”
Jing Mu nodded and leaned a little closer.
“I’m sorry, Shifu. If I hadn’t dragged you out to watch that street performance, none of this would’ve happened. I frightened you.”
He paused before his uninjured left hand slid gently onto Shu Changyu’s knee.
“Shifu… that sword was only a few inches away from you. For a moment, I thought…”
“…I was going to lose you again.”
The word again trembled pitifully as it left his lips.
Shu Changyu’s heart tightened.
“My life is stubborn enough,” he said softly. “You don’t need to worry.”
Jing Mu smiled.
“As long as you’re safe.”
But Shu Changyu’s gaze remained fixed on the heavily bandaged hand.
After a long while, he murmured,
“Idiot.”
Jing Mu chuckled quietly.
The two of them simply sat there in silence for quite some time.
“Shifu.”
After a while, Jing Mu spoke again in a low voice.
“I’m sorry.”
“Hm?” Shu Changyu frowned. “Why are you apologizing to me again?”
“In my previous life, it was because of me that Father became suspicious of you, had you thrown into prison, and cost you one of your legs.”
His voice grew softer.
“And later… because I failed to protect you. I left you standing alone in the storm, enduring the scorn of thousands before you were ultimately murdered.”
Shu Changyu quietly listened.
“This lifetime… I thought I could protect you.”
Jing Mu lowered his head.
“But now I’m afraid again, Shifu. Not only can I not protect you… I only keep causing you trouble. I…”
“Jing Mu.”
His trembling, subdued voice pierced Shu Changyu’s heart.
For some reason, it felt as though someone had seized his heart in their fist.
He didn’t want to hear another word.
So he interrupted him.
“You’ve already done very well.”
He raised his eyes.
His calm, sincere gaze made Jing Mu unconsciously fall silent.
“In our previous life, I was the one who wronged you. My personal vendetta involved only those evil people. You were innocent, Jing Mu. Whether it was the consequences of that past life or anything else, none of it was your fault.”
He paused.
“You’ve already done very well.”
“From beginning to end… you’ve always done very well.”
Those words were as gentle as a warm breeze brushing across Jing Mu’s heart.
Looking at Shu Changyu’s open, tranquil, endlessly gentle expression, Jing Mu’s eyes suddenly reddened.
His heart began pounding wildly.
He desperately tried to suppress the emotions surging inside him.
But he couldn’t suppress the thought that suddenly overwhelmed every other thought in his mind.
He wanted to kiss him.
“…Shifu.”
When he spoke again, his voice had turned hoarse.
“Hm?”
“Since… since I’ve done well…”
He stared directly into Shu Changyu’s eyes.
“…could I ask Shifu for a reward?”
“Go ahead,” Shu Changyu answered without hesitation.
The next instant, Jing Mu stood.
Using his uninjured hand, he cradled the back of Shu Changyu’s neck, lowered his head with his eyes closed…
…and kissed him.
Unlike the forceful kiss in the prison before, Jing Mu’s movements this time were incomparably gentle.
Shu Changyu could have pushed him away with ease.
Yet he didn’t.
Jing Mu’s touch was tender.
His lips were even gentler.
For a moment, it was like a spring breeze drifting between them—soft, lingering, filled with quiet affection.
Neither of them moved.
Least of all Shu Changyu.
His eyes remained open as he watched Jing Mu’s lowered lashes.
For some reason, simply looking at him made him feel an overwhelming urge to close his own eyes…
…and sink into this gentle warmth.
To say his heart wasn’t stirred would be a lie.
To say he didn’t like Jing Mu would also be a lie.
The realization startled him.
But his very first thought was unmistakable—
I do like Jing Mu.
Being with him brought happiness.
His heart raced.
He felt warm…
…comfortable.
But…
What exactly do I like about him?
And what right do I have to like him?
Did he love Jing Mu because of his unwavering devotion?
Because Jing Mu always obeyed him?
Because Jing Mu had given him honor, status, and everything else?
Whenever they were together, Jing Mu was always the one who took the initiative.
Jing Mu was the one who brought joy and warmth.
Shu Changyu had always been the one receiving.
Jing Mu had given him so much that, for a moment, Shu Changyu couldn’t even distinguish whether what he felt was love…
…or simply the habit of accepting everything Jing Mu offered.
Besides…
Jing Mu had been born into the imperial family.
Shu Changyu was a minister.
One would become emperor.
The other, a pillar of the realm.
An entire empire stood between them.
They shouldn’t even bare their hearts to each other—
let alone fall in love.
Meanwhile, seeing that Shu Changyu hadn’t pulled away, a pleased, low chuckle escaped Jing Mu’s throat.
He slowly opened his eyes.
Meeting Shu Changyu’s gaze, he smiled, gently covering Shu Changyu’s eyes with one hand while coaxing apart his lips, their tongues tangling together.
Shu Changyu looked into Jing Mu’s eyes.
They were so gentle.
So utterly pure.
For some reason, a sharp ache and panic welled up inside Shu Changyu’s chest.
It was as though he felt ashamed of himself…
…or as though he carried too many burdens in his heart, too many things he had weighed and measured for far too long.
He felt…
…that his heart held too much.
He calculated too much.
He considered too many consequences.
Someone like him…
…didn’t deserve such wholehearted, unreserved love.
His hands began trembling uncontrollably.
In a panic, he shoved Jing Mu away and abruptly stood.
“Take good care of your injury.”
“I should go.”
“When your right hand has healed…”
“…I’ll come back to continue your lessons.”
With that, he turned and hurried away.
Something that was wrong from the very beginning…
…should be stopped before it continued down the wrong path.
That was what Shu Changyu had been taught since childhood.
“Shifu…?”
Still dazed from the lingering tenderness of the kiss, Jing Mu called after him.
The next moment, he rushed forward, caught Shu Changyu, and pulled him back into his embrace.
“Shifu, you didn’t push me away just now.”
He held him tightly.
“You like me too, don’t you?”
He quickly added,
“Even if it’s only a little… it still counts.”
Shu Changyu tried to push him away.
He couldn’t.
“Jing Mu.”
Suppressing his emotions and forcing himself back toward the reason he had always relied upon, Shu Changyu spoke quietly.
“A foolish mistake should only be made once.”
“It must never be repeated.”
“What do you mean, a foolish mistake?”
Jing Mu pressed his chin firmly against Shu Changyu’s temple, his voice fierce.
“Shifu, the greatest mistake I ever made…”
“…was not treating you like this much earlier in our last life.”
Shu Changyu’s heart trembled.
“None of your brothers are capable of carrying the nation.”
“You bear a heavy responsibility.”
“You cannot indulge in romantic feelings.”
“One day…”
“…you will become emperor.”
Shu Changyu could already feel it.
His rationality was being worn away bit by bit.
If this continued…
…he would no longer be able to control himself.
No.
He repeated silently to himself.
This is wrong.
“The only thing I’ve ever wanted in this life is you, Shifu.”
Jing Mu looked at him.
“What do I need the throne for?”
The last remnants of Shu Changyu’s reason completely crumbled.
“You hopeless fool!”
he cursed fiercely under his breath.
With one hard shove, he pushed Jing Mu away.
Then he turned…
…and fled as though escaping.
He was already…
…on the verge of losing control of his own heart.
—
After that day, Shu Changyu deliberately forced himself not to think about Jing Mu.
It helped that he no longer needed to teach him while his hand recovered, sparing them from meeting.
As for the attack on Changning Street, the authorities found nothing.
All the culprits had died.
With no one left alive to question, the case reached a dead end.
As a result, Shu Changyu never discovered who had truly wanted him dead.
Afterward, Dai Wenliang came to visit him once.
Fang Yuqian also sent him invitations twice, asking him to attend gatherings with the other scholars.
The two of them got along remarkably well and quickly became close friends.
Later, Fang Yuqian passed the provincial examination smoothly, once again earning the title of Jieyuan, and Emperor Qianning praised him highly.
Once the examinations ended, Fang Yuqian prepared to return to Huzhou.
That day, Shu Changyu deliberately took leave from work to see him off at the docks.
With a smile, he joked,
“In another two years, Lord Fang and I will be serving in court together.”
Fang Yuqian burst into laughter.
“Then I’d better study even harder. If I fail the metropolitan examination two years from now, wouldn’t I be making Jingchen wait another three years?”
Both men laughed, appreciating each other’s talent and character.
“Don’t say such unlucky things, great scholar,” Shu Changyu replied.
“If even Huzhou’s top scholar speaks like that, what hope is left for the rest?”
Fang Yuqian quickly answered,
“I’ll gladly accept the future Zhuangyuan’s blessing.”
Before he even finished speaking, he laughed again.
“If we’re speaking of true confidants…”
“…Jingchen is the first and foremost in my life.”
Before boarding, Fang Yuqian solemnly cupped his hands.
“I hope that one day we may serve together—for our country, for our people, and for the prosperity of the realm.”
Shu Changyu returned the salute with equal solemnity, watching the ship gradually disappear into the distance.
As he turned to leave, his eyes swept across the willow trees lining both banks of the river.
It was midsummer.
The willows were at their fullest.
Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw a figure dressed in black standing among them.
It looked…
…very much like Jing Mu.
But when Shu Changyu looked carefully—
the figure was gone.
Only the wind stirred the willow leaves with a soft rustling sound.
Shu Changyu stood there for a long moment.
His heart suddenly felt strangely…
…empty.