Chapter 48

Xia Xiqing never thought he would ever feel attracted to someone else.

He always told others that the biggest misunderstanding people have about love is that they often mistake the emotional fluctuations during the ambiguous phase for being attracted to someone, using the irregular heartbeat at that moment as evidence to confirm that they have fallen in love. But more often than not, these fluctuations are merely ripples on the surface of a lake, quickly smoothed out once the moment passes.

He wasn’t sure if his current emotional fluctuations were the moment the ripples spread, but he was certain he was enjoying the moment.

“I can’t even hold the gun steady.” Zhou Ziheng shook the AUG in his hand, a smug smile on his face.

Those last words were just a joke, right? Xia Xiqing tried to find clues on his face to confirm his guess, but it wasn’t easy, after all, he was dealing with an actor.

They were just joking around anyway.

Thinking this, Xia Xiqing felt much lighter. He pursed his lips and gave him a playful look. “It’s okay if this gun is unstable. Next time, I’ll let you try my other guns to see if they’re stable.”

“You’ve really made something of yourself now.” Xia Xiqing kicked him on the shin, but Zhou Ziheng dodged it and pulled him into his arms.

“Just kidding, just kidding.”

“Don’t hug me.” Xia Xiqing pushed him away forcefully. “Don’t hug me like you’re hugging a woman.”

Zhou Ziheng had heard those words from his mouth twice. He wondered if Xia Xiqing was bothered by the fact that he had once liked a girl, but such thoughts were overly conscious. More likely, Xia Xiqing simply wanted to assert dominance.

“Then you hold me.” Zhou Ziheng spread his arms.

Xia Xiqing glanced at him. He was so tall that no matter how he held him, he looked like a girl.

“Get lost. Who wants to hold you?” Xia Xiqing reached out to take the gun from his hand, but Zhou Ziheng grabbed his wrist urgently. “Did you hurt your hand?”

Injured? Xia Xiqing was puzzled, but quickly realized what he meant.

“Ah, that’s red paint. I accidentally got it on there. It’s not blood.”

Zhou Ziheng sighed in relief and tried to rub it off. Sure enough, it was paint. “You scared me. Did you paint before you left?”

“Huh? … Yeah.” Xia Xiqing wasn’t used to being so concerned about, so he quietly pulled his hand back, took the gun from Zhou Ziheng’s hand, put on his ear muffs, and started practicing shooting again.

Zhou Ziheng had wanted to ask him what he had been painting, but seeing his expression, he didn’t ask any further questions. He sat down on one side and took out his phone. Today had been a busy day of auditions, meetings with the screenwriter and director, and dinner with investors in the evening. He was so dizzy that he didn’t even have time to check WeChat.

Sure enough, his WeChat was full of messages. Zhou Ziheng picked out a few important work-related messages to reply to first, then noticed a message from Shang Sirui.

[Sirui: Ziheng! Have you seen the painting Xi Qingxin drew for you?]

[Sirui: Share the picture.]

Zhou Ziheng saw the watercolor painting Shang Sirui had sent him. It was a scene from his sophomore year final presentation, with a deep red background on the PowerPoint slide in the upper right corner.

So that’s what he was drawing.

[Ziheng: Did he send it to you?]

[Sirui: No, I saved it from his Weibo.]

Zhou Ziheng saw the message and immediately opened Weibo, where he found a bunch of mentions from people he didn’t follow. He clicked on it and sure enough, it was the painting posted by Xia Xiqing.

[Who Doesn’t Like Self-Study: @Zhou Ziheng, what’s it like to date an artist?]

[Self-Study CP Universe’s Sweetest: @Zhou Ziheng, I declare that you and this beautiful artist are locked together, and I’ve swallowed the key!]

My wife?

What’s this new term?

Besides the overwhelming CP fan comments, there were also some Zhou Ziheng fans who found Xia Xiqing’s Weibo.

[Ziheng is the best in the universe: Thank you, wife, for sharing.]

[Zhou Ziheng’s wife: Thank you, wife, but some CP fans should also behave themselves. Overthinking is a disease.]

[I’m super A: What are the CP fans shouting about? Zhou Ziheng is as straight as they come, okay? I’m fed up with being dragged into this every day.] …

Zhou Ziheng pursed his lips.

Is he straight? If it were in the past, he would have been pretty straight, but now…

And the extent of the CP fans’ imagination is probably about the same as the extent of their actual progress… right?

However, the comments became more and more heated, and Xia Xiqing’s fans also came out, acting like [Are you bullying our little artist for not having any fans?] to protect him.

Really, if you want to protect him, it shouldn’t be you girls doing it.

Zhou Ziheng clicked to repost and typed a line.

[@Zhou Ziheng: Thank you, Madam.]

He didn’t think there was anything wrong with it. It seemed like everyone in this circle referred to artists as “Madam” or “Big Sister.” But the CP fans below went crazy.

[Maybe you study on your own too: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[Self-study girls are so cute: Ah, self-study girls’ tears are worthless, Zhou Ziheng, how can you be so spoiled! (How does it feel to be slapped in the face by certain toxic fans? Running to Xi Qing’s Weibo to KY is enough.)]

[Self-study girls, go for it: Self-study is really exciting, every day is like New Year’s.]

“What are you doing?”

Zhou Ziheng looked up and saw Xia Xiqing take off his glasses and ear muffs, shake his beautiful black hair, and walk towards him.

“Huh? Scrolling through Weibo…”

Xia Xiqing stretched lazily, “I was trying to hit a ten-ring shot, but it’s so hard.” He sat down next to Zhou Ziheng.

“Stop shooting. If you keep going, your arms will hurt tomorrow.” Zhou Ziheng stood up. “Let’s go home.” His eyes were quite large for a boy, with deep double eyelids and long, thick lashes. Even without makeup, they gave the illusion of having eyeliner. His dark black pupils always shone brightly, radiating a lustrous glow. He usually smiled lightly and gently, but when he didn’t make any expression, he exuded an innocent and pitiful aura.

Zhou Ziheng pulled him up. “My mom sent over some cordyceps chicken soup yesterday. Let’s go back and I’ll make some noodles for you.”

He gets affection, physical contact, and even meals prepared for him. Even if he doesn’t get anything else, it’s still worth it so far. Xia Xiqing was in a great mood as he followed Zhou Ziheng away from the shooting range.

The last time he had been to Zhou Ziheng’s house was when Xia Xiqing had kissed him forcefully. Thinking about it made him feel a little embarrassed, but he was also puzzled. Last time, Zhou Ziheng had been so angry, so why was he now agreeing to hang out with him?

“Wear my slippers.” Zhou Ziheng took out a pair of navy blue slippers and placed them in front of him.

Xia Xiqing hummed in response, then seemed to remember something. “I could just go home and wear my own.” It was only a short distance anyway. Zhou Ziheng took out another pair of white slippers from the shoe cabinet, which looked like they were for guests. He didn’t look up. “If you don’t like my slippers, then go back and get your own.”

That tone of resentment. Xia Xiqing laughed, “I don’t. I’m just worried about offending you.” After saying that, he put on Zhou Ziheng’s slippers. They were very soft, but quite large.

“Your feet are really big.”

“I’m 1.92 meters tall.”

“Oh, that’s impressive.”

“It is impressive.”

The two looked at each other and laughed at the same time. Xia Xiqing complained that he was hungry and walked into the living room without hesitation, wearing the ill-fitting slippers. Last time he came, he was too busy chatting with Zhou Ziheng at the entrance to look around, so he didn’t notice that Zhou Ziheng had a fairly large swimming pool in his living room.

“Your renovation is impressive. You can tell you’re rich.” Xia Xiqing squatted by the pool, dipped his finger into the water, and stirred it. “I’ll dig one tomorrow too.” “If you want to swim, just come over here.”

After saying that, he regretted it a little. Was he being too pushy? Xia Xiqing could swim anywhere he wanted.

Xia Xiqing didn’t say anything. He had wanted to ask what would happen if their relationship ended, just like his previous flings, which he no longer had any contact with. But he felt that saying that would be too awkward, making it seem less like a physical relationship and more like a real romance.

“Alright, I was waiting for you to say that.” Xia Xiqing stood up and jumped twice, pretending to be relaxed. Zhou Ziheng thought he was about to jump in, so he hurriedly said, “I didn’t turn on the temperature control.”

“I’m not swimming now. I’m starving.” Xia Xiqing dragged his feet over to Zhou Ziheng’s sofa, lay down, and let out a comfortable sigh. Zhou Ziheng was afraid he’d get bored, so he turned on the TV and handed him the remote. The TV was airing a boring idol drama from the 8 o’clock slot, with bizarre dubbing and melodramatic plot twists. In the distance, one could hear Zhou Ziheng cooking in the kitchen—the clinking of metal utensils, the bubbling sound of soup simmering—all blending together to create a lively, homey atmosphere.

Xia Xiqing lay quietly on the sofa, feeling somewhat uncomfortable. He hadn’t felt this way in a long time.

It was as if… he had a home of his own.

As soon as this thought popped into his head, he tried desperately to suppress it. He wanted to divert his attention and make himself look less pitiful. The only thing he could do was to criticize the TV drama as much as possible.

“Who set the filter for this show? The saturation is so high it’s trying to blind the viewers.”

“The female lead’s dress… I just don’t get modern fashion design. Zhou Ziheng, please don’t ever star in a romantic drama—I’d unfollow you immediately.”

“This plot… Newton’s grave must be turning.”

“Actually, the male lead isn’t bad-looking. If his nose were a bit higher, he’d be even more handsome. His eyebrows and eyes are quite well-defined.”

But he’s nowhere near as good-looking as Zhou Ziheng.

Just as they were talking, Zhou Ziheng walked over with a bowl of chicken noodle soup, placing it on the coffee table with a clang, his face dark.

“So fast?” Xia Xiqing sat up from the sofa. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Are you satisfied just by looking at handsome men?” Zhou Ziheng turned around and walked over to get his own portion. Xia Xiqing knelt on the sofa with his hands resting on the backrest, smiling at Zhou Ziheng’s back, “Looking at you, I’m seven parts satisfied. If you give it to me, I’ll be ten parts satisfied.”

Zhou Ziheng couldn’t help but mention it again as he walked over with another bowl. “Then look at the guy on TV.”

“Barely?” Zhou Ziheng raised an eyebrow at him.

“Not barely, not barely.” Xia Xiqing got up from the sofa and sat on the carpet, quickly picking up his own bowl of noodles to prevent Zhou Ziheng from using it as leverage. “Just a little worse than me.” The soup in the bowl was golden, and Xia Xiqing blew away the green scallions and took a sip. “Delicious. Your aunt is a great cook.”

Zhou Ziheng had wanted to say, “It’s my mom who’s a great cook,” but he didn’t want to say that in front of Xia Xiqing.

After finishing a bowl of hot chicken soup noodles, Xia Xiqing felt warm all over, breaking out in a light sweat. He undid the top two buttons of his shirt, rested his arms on his bent legs, and let his chin rest lazily on his knees. His voice became sluggish, like a cat basking in the sun.

Zhou Ziheng suddenly felt like buying a cat.

After eating his fill, Xia Xiqing opened Weibo and glanced at it, only to find that Zhou Ziheng had reposted his Weibo and even wrote, “Thank you, Mrs.” He immediately flew into a rage, “Damn it, Zhou Ziheng, are you out of your mind? Just because someone else calls him ‘Mrs.,’ you have to follow suit?”

“What’s wrong with that? Everyone calls them that.” Zhou Ziheng acted dumb.

“You…” Xia Xiqing held his breath, “Delete that Weibo post.”

“I can’t delete it. If I delete it, it’ll go viral.” Zhou Ziheng took a sip of water. “Only my fan circle knew about it. If I delete the Weibo post, everyone online will know.”

“You! Fine, you’re so cool.” Xia Xiqing was angry, but Zhou Ziheng was telling the truth. He didn’t want everyone to know, or he would definitely be mocked by Xia Zhixu and his group. Thinking of this, he just wanted to move on quickly and picked up a random topic to talk about, “This male actor has been getting a lot of opportunities lately.”

“Hmm.” Zhou Ziheng, sitting on the sofa, glanced at Xia Xiqing, who was watching TV. Though he didn’t really want to listen to Xia Xiqing talking about other men in his own home, he saw that Xia Xiqing didn’t seem angry anymore, so he compromised a bit, even willing to betray his colleague’s information to please him. Zhou Ziheng tapped Xia Xiqing’s shoulder with his knee, “Want to hear some gossip?”

Xia Xiqing looked up at him, “Any gossip?”

His hand rested on Zhou Ziheng’s knee, swaying it slightly, which made Zhou Ziheng’s heart race. Moreover, from this angle, Xia Xiqing’s chest was fully exposed. Zhou Ziheng looked up, facing the TV directly, “Actually, I don’t usually have any gossip. I only find out about many things in the industry from paparazzi exposés.”

Hmm, Xia Xiqing believed that.

“But during the evening social gathering, the investor who came was pretty unreliable. The things he said at the dinner made all of us pretty awkward. After a few drinks, he started telling Director Kun he wanted to cast someone in a role.”

Xia Xiqing pointed at the male lead on the TV, “Him?”

Zhou Ziheng nodded, “He was drunk and kept saying this actor was good-looking and energetic. The more he talked, the more off-track it got. We couldn’t stop him.”

So he’s a big spender. Xia Xiqing chuckled, “Then what happened?”

“Kun said we’d talk about it later since the script wasn’t finalized yet.” Speaking of the script, Zhou Ziheng added, “That guy kept trying to get Xu to drink, but Kun and I stopped him.”

“What? He wants to mess with Xu Qichen?” Xia Xiqing looked up at him, his face turning pale. Zhou Ziheng saw his expression and felt a little uneasy.

“No, he didn’t drink. He barely said a word the whole time.”

Of course not. Xu Qichen may seem mild-mannered, but he’s actually more stubborn than anyone else. Xia Xiqing couldn’t help but snort coldly, “He dares to mess with our Chenchen? This can’t be let that person know, or else he’ll blow a fuse.”

Zhou Ziheng felt even more uneasy when he heard Xia Xiqing call Xu Qichen “Chenchen.” He struggled for words, unable to find the right way to ask. But Xia Xiqing spoke first, “Xu Qichen and I were high school classmates. I dare you to bet that you’ll never meet such a pitiful child in your lifetime.”

The term “child” also made Zhou Ziheng feel uneasy.

“His family was once so happy. After the high school entrance exam, the three of them went on a road trip, but they were involved in a car accident. Both his parents died, and he woke up alone the next morning.” Xia Xiqing sighed, “When he was in high school, he was very withdrawn. If it weren’t for that idiot who kept pestering him, he probably would have committed suicide long ago.”

Zhou Ziheng never imagined that the gentle and polite screenwriter had gone through such experiences. “Then what happened?”

“Things were finally looking up, and he had become much more outgoing. But then rumors started spreading that he was gay, and people even fabricated lies about him having an inappropriate relationship with his homeroom teacher, forcing him to transfer schools.” Xia Xiqing looked up at Zhou Ziheng, “Are you wondering if he’s really gay?”

“He fell for that idiot who was always pestering him, but it was always a one-sided crush. Actually, that person liked him too, but the two of them were clueless for ten years, and because of that rumor, they cut off contact and didn’t hear from each other for years.”

His voice was hoarse. “Someone like Xu Qichen could become as bad as he wanted, but he’s always been kind. He only dares to hurt himself because he has someone he’s always loved, and he doesn’t want that person to see his bad side.”

Zhou Ziheng didn’t speak, but he sensed Xia Xiqing’s emotional turmoil.

Xia Xiqing tilted his chin upward, his eyes still fixed on the front, his voice filled with contempt, “I’m different. If I’m hurt, I’ll do everything in my power to get revenge. If I’m suffering, no one else will be spared. Everyone will have to suffer with me. Anyway, there’s no one in this world I care about enough to stop me from becoming bad. I don’t care if I become completely corrupted.”

It really didn’t matter.

When he was very young, he studied hard to be the top student in the school, collecting certificates like stamps, and ran home to show them to his parents. But they would only glance at them and, if they were in a good mood, say a few words of praise. All they cared about was their business and their endless arguments. Later, he realized that when he fought and acted tough outside, he could hear his parents say a few more words to him when he returned home. Even if they scolded him, it was better than them ignoring him as if he didn’t exist. So he became increasingly bad, skipping school, drinking, and intentionally scoring the lowest in the class. At such times, he received even more “attention.”

How ironic.

His heart felt cold and sour. Suddenly, his hair was ruffled.

Zhou Ziheng sat down on the carpet, stretched out his arms, and hugged Xia Xiqing in his embrace. He kissed his hair several times without him noticing, “I think what you just said is wrong.”

Xia Xiqing was held tightly, struggling to speak, and couldn’t understand Zhou Ziheng’s meaning, “What did you say?”

Zhou Ziheng gently patted his back, his voice soft and gentle. “I said you were wrong. He’s not the most pitiful child I’ve ever met in my life.”

Before he could finish his sentence, Xia Xiqing had already lost his temper and was about to push him away, but Zhou Ziheng held him even tighter.

“Whoever pushes me is the most pitiful child.” His voice carried a warm smile, sounding like a joke, but for some reason, it instantly soothed Xia Xiqing’s restlessness. He felt so humiliated, being looked down upon by someone five years younger than him, it was truly embarrassing. He couldn’t help but snort, “Anyway, I’m not.”

“That’s right. You’re not.” Zhou Ziheng held him like a child, swaying back and forth, then took Xia Xiqing’s hand and placed it on his own back. He bent his long legs, pinning Xia Xiqing between them, creating a position where the two were embraced, unable to escape.

“Who is it?” Xia Xiqing asked in a hostile tone, but he didn’t lower his hand, which was forced against Zhou Ziheng’s back.

Zhou Ziheng ruffled his soft hair, lowered his head, and held him tightly in his arms. His voice was soft and warm, like a feather-shaped marshmallow, gently drifting down, swaying for a long time, and finally landing on Xia Xiqing’s hand, “Yeah, who is it?”

After the rising inflection at the end, Zhou Ziheng chuckled in his ear.

Xia Xiqing suddenly forgot how to be angry.

Author’s Note:

Zhou Ziheng switched to his small account and posted a comment on Xia Xiqing’s Weibo where he shared his watercolor painting, blending in among the comments from self-study girls—[Hello, Mrs. Zhou.]