Chapter 50

When he woke up the next day, Zhou Ziheng was gone again, and Xia Xiqing was lying in bed wearing pajamas that were a size too big.

The entire bed smelled of Zhou Ziheng, which was very pleasant. He glanced at his phone and saw that it was already 10:30 a.m. and he had two messages.

[Model of Morality: I have to walk the red carpet today, so I’ll probably be back late. There’s a bagel sandwich in the fridge for you.”

Xia Xiqing felt like he must have accumulated some good karma in a past life to have found such a casual partner. Stretching lazily, Xia Xiqing got out of bed and pulled back the curtains. The early May sunlight hit him in the face, lifting his spirits. Upon opening the curtains, he noticed that the bedroom window was a large bay window covered with a gray blanket. Xia Xiqing sat down and found scattered papers on the bay window, densely filled with notes, along with stacks of documents.

These were all Zhou Ziheng’s handwriting. Xia Xiqing flipped through them casually and found that many were related to AIDS, including notes on the initial symptoms of AIDS and other pathological medical observations, as well as psychological analyses and studies of AIDS patients. The notes were extremely detailed, even including the corresponding inner thoughts and behaviors of the characters next to the symptoms and psychological manifestations.

How dedicated. Xia Xiqing couldn’t help but compare him to the young actors of today who casually take on roles and film without much effort. Zhou Ziheng was truly a breath of fresh air—experienced, talented, and so hardworking.

With so much information, it seems he really wants to portray this role well.

Picking up his own clothes and changing his shoes, Xia Xiqing prepared to return home. Just before closing the door, he remembered Zhou Ziheng’s WeChat message and turned back to take the bagel sandwich he had left for himself in the refrigerator. As he closed the refrigerator door, he noticed that it was covered with a bunch of incomprehensible physics formulas.

What a terrifying science nerd.

Xia Xiqing returned home to wash up and tidy himself. Just as he had changed his clothes, he received a call from his former assistant professor. He had thought it was just a routine check-in, but to his surprise, it was actually about persuading him to take a job.

“I think you’d be suited for a university. The environment here is relaxed, you can access plenty of resources, and you can create freely.”

“Is that so?” Xia Xiqing smiled politely, “I haven’t decided on my future plans yet, but I will certainly consider your advice, teacher.”

“Whether you come or not, don’t let your talent go to waste.”

Talent.

These two words weighed heavily on Xia Xiqing. Even when he was studying at the Academy of Fine Arts, others had praised him with vague descriptions like “talented,” while many critics had condemned his work as too dark and suffocating. Some called it “spiritual,” others called it “heretical.” But regardless, he had indeed been able to create works that sparked debate.

But now? Xia Xiqing knew better than anyone that he had entered a creative bottleneck, a period of confusion. When he picked up his brush, he felt no sense of belonging. He locked away his old paintings, unwilling to look at them anymore. The spark of creativity was fading day by day, which made him doubt whether he truly had talent. Or perhaps the so-called “spiritual energy” from back then was nothing more than constantly draining his nightmares.

Enduring the pain, he squeezed out the black pus from his heart, spreading it on the paper, calling it creation.

How pitiful he was.

Xia Xiqing closed his eyes, tilted his head back, and leaned against the hanging chair. The phone rang again, and he assumed Professor Wang had something else to say. Without looking, he answered, “Teacher…”

“You can call me teacher now, can’t you?” The voice on the other end was clear and gentle.

It was Xu Qichen. Xia Xiqing opened his eyes and smiled, “That’s right, Teacher Xu, Editor Xu.”

“Don’t make fun of me. I didn’t sleep all night yesterday, and now I’m just surviving on coffee.”

Xia Xiqing got out of the hammock, walked to the balcony, and lit a cigarette. “So tired? What are you busy with? Aren’t you afraid Xia Zhixu will get upset with you?”

“He got angry with me yesterday. He’s so annoying.”

Hearing the last part of Xu Qichen’s sentence, Xia Xiqing suddenly felt like he was being fed dog food. Xu Qichen quickly changed the subject, “Did Zhou Ziheng tell you about the new play he’s working on? I’m the screenwriter.”

Sure enough, it was about that. Xia Xiqing hummed, “That’s why I call you Xu the screenwriter.”

“Sigh, this script is too difficult to work on. I originally wanted to write a romantic storyline, but I can’t find a suitable actress for the role.”

Xia Xiqing interrupted, “Didn’t you have a prototype when you wrote the script?”

Xu Qichen paused on the other end of the phone. Xia Xiqing was too smart; talking to him required another brain to come up with countermeasures. He certainly couldn’t say that his prototype was Xia Xiqing. He had written the script based on his experiences, but he hadn’t expected to be unable to find a young actress who was the right age and had the acting skills to pull it off.

“No, I can’t write everything based on a real person,” Xu Qichen smiled.

That’s true. Xia Xiqing recalled what Zhou Ziheng had said yesterday, “According to Zhou Ziheng, you and the director both want me to act?”

He had been thinking about how to bring it up, but Xia Xiqing said it himself, “Yes, these things are a bit complicated to explain. Where are you now? Let’s talk in person, and I’ll show you the materials.”

“Come to my place.”

By late afternoon, Xu Qichen had finally finished his work, packed his things, and headed to Xia Xiqing’s home.

“It’s really not easy to come to your place; the security is too strict.” Xu Qichen took off the backpack on his back, and Xia Xiqing took it from him. “The people living in this apartment building are a bit special, so the security system is stricter.” He put his arm around Xu Qichen’s shoulder. “You look so young; like a college student.”

Xu Qichen scratched his head awkwardly and looked down at his yellow hoodie. “I didn’t change my clothes before coming out.” He looked at Xia Xiqing’s living room and the open ceiling of the loft and couldn’t help but exclaim, “The house you bought this time is so big!”

“Do you like it? I’ll ask Xia Zhixu to buy the one downstairs, so we can see each other every day.” Xia Xiqing placed his bag on the sofa, then went to the kitchen to get him a bottle of lemon juice, tossing it into Xu Qichen’s arms.

Upon hearing Xia Xiqing’s suggestion, Xu Qichen asked seriously, “Why buy the one downstairs? Isn’t it better to be on the same floor? How many households are on this floor?”

Xia Xiqing was taken aback by his question, “Um… two households.”

“The other one has been sold?”

“Yes.”

“Is it a celebrity?” Xu Qichen’s expression was somewhat excited.

How did he guess that? Xia Xiqing nodded, “Yes.”

“Which celebrity? Do I know them?”

“Oh, you don’t know them,” Xia Xiqing placed his hand on Xu Qichen’s shoulder and guided him to sit on the sofa, “You were going to discuss the script, let’s get straight to the point.”

Xu Qichen took out his laptop from his bag and pulled up the latest revised version. “I don’t know how much Zhou Ziheng has told you, but let’s start from the beginning. I plan to change the female lead’s role to a male character and remove the romantic subplot. There wasn’t much of it in the original script anyway.”

“Remove all the romantic subplots?”

“Yes. If both main characters are male, adding romantic subplots would be excessive. The theme of this play isn’t about romance anyway, so doing that could easily derail it, especially during the later promotional phase.” Xu Qichen pushed the laptop toward Xia Xiqing. “I’ve changed the female lead role to the male second lead, named Jiang Tong. The male lead Gao Kun will still be played by Zhou Ziheng.”

Xia Xiqing looked at Xu Qichen’s character sheet while listening to his explanation.

“Let me give you a brief overview of Jiang Tong’s character. Although he grew up in the city like Gao Kun, he lived in the lowest strata of urban society. He was even an undocumented resident and dropped out of high school before graduating. Initially, we considered portraying him as autistic, but after considering the plot development, we decided to change it to depression.”

“Depression…” Xia Xiqing moved the mouse and saw the plot on the second page, his fingers suddenly stopping.

Xu Qichen knew he had seen it. He hesitated for a moment but decided to speak up, “Jiang Tong has been subjected to domestic violence by his parents since childhood. His family is very complicated. One of his ears was beaten deaf by his father.”

He looked at Xia Xiqing’s profile, his chest rising and falling slowly, as if suppressing something.

“You must think I’m cruel.” Xu Qichen placed his hand on Xia Xiqing’s knee. “Xiqing, you can’t keep avoiding this.”

Xia Xiqing took a deep breath. If anyone else were sitting beside him at that moment, he would have flipped the computer and cursed whoever it was, but it was Xu Qichen. He knew Xu Qichen wasn’t the kind of person who would rip open his wounds and mock him. He couldn’t vent his emotions toward Xu Qichen; he could only suppress them.

“If you’re feeling really bad, you can tell me. You can even take it out on me.” Xu Qichen leaned in closer. “You can’t keep running away from the past, just like I did back then. Avoiding it won’t solve anything.”

Xia Xiqing clenched his teeth tightly but still didn’t speak.

“I’ve been working on this script for a long time. When I decided to include those plot points, I was thinking about your experiences. This method of scraping the bone to heal the wound might be painful, but I want you to fully emerge from the shadows. You’re too stubborn. You’ve never vented to anyone. If you keep this up, it will only accumulate in your heart and never disappear. Just think of this as a creative process. Use this opportunity to vent all the emotions in your heart. Just this once. Maybe things will get better afterward.”

“You said ‘maybe’ too.” Xia Xiqing finally spoke, but his tone was as still as a stagnant pool, without a ripple.

Xu Qichen knew this would be the outcome. “Actually, I want to help you. Though I know you’ve never needed anyone’s help, and it sounds sentimental to say it, I still have to say it,” he lowered his eyes. “In this world, the person I most hope can find happiness is you.”

Xia Xiqing felt a pang of sadness. He had known Xu Qichen for nearly ten years, and they both knew these things deep down, yet neither had ever opened up to the other—after all, they were both men. Thinking about it this way, Xia Xiqing felt like he was being overly sentimental, almost like a woman. He had always been prone to softening toward Xu Qichen, and now that Xu Qichen had spoken so candidly, he couldn’t bring himself to say a word.

But no matter what, just thinking about these scenes made him feel uneasy. These were things he had actually experienced, and just glancing at them made him feel suffocated. He dared not imagine what he would become if he were to actually act them out.

The silence was misinterpreted by Xu Qichen as a failure to persuade him. He sighed, “If you really don’t want to, I’ll go talk to the director again. We’ll audition a few young male actors and see if we can find someone with some flair.” He closed the laptop as he spoke. “I think Zhou Ziheng really likes this script. His team has been holding off on other projects for this film, and apparently they even turned down a big-name director. Whether you act in it or not, he’ll have to work hard for half a year on this project.”

Mentioning this made Xia Xiqing feel annoyed. For some reason, just thinking about not being able to meet Zhou Ziheng in Beijing for several months made him feel uneasy, with a tight chest and shortness of breath.

“Where are you planning to find male actors?”

“The more popular actors in the industry aren’t particularly suitable for this role. The director wants someone who looks like he needs protection, someone who can evoke empathy from the audience. But you know, this type of actor isn’t common, so we’ll probably have to look at new graduates from the film academy.”

Newcomers? Aren’t they all young, good-looking, and evoke a desire to protect them? If they spend half a year with that righteous, moral exemplar who naturally wants to protect others, well, all the effort I put into seducing him would just be helping someone else.

The more he thought about it, the angrier he got. Xia Xiqing decided not to think about it anymore. “Chen Chen, do you want pizza?”

“Huh?” Xu Qichen was still immersed in the sadness of his failed persuasion when Xia Xiqing suddenly asked him that question. He was a bit taken aback. “Do I want pizza?”

“I’ll order it.” Xia Xiqing took out his phone and opened WeChat, placed the order, and then glanced at his Moments feed, scrolling down until he happened to come across a post from Xiao Luo.

[Xiao Luo: As soon as I heard that Zhou Ziheng was going to the XX Fashion Charity Gala, my WeChat blew up. Here, I took some sneaky photos for you.]

The post included a side view of Zhou Ziheng. Unlike his usual casual attire, his hair was neatly combed back, revealing his striking features. He was wearing a rare white suit with a navy blue tie around his collar, lacking the usual aggressive edge of his usual style and instead exuding a refined elegance.

In the photo, he was bent over, adjusting his cuffs with a focused expression. with his nose and lips forming an impossibly sharp line. He recalled how the fan community had praised Zhou Ziheng’s appearance, often comparing him to Apollo. Xia Xiqing had never liked the character of Apollo, who was arrogant and stubborn, but if the sun god really looked like this, perhaps he wouldn’t have so many prejudices.

He also left a comment on Xiao Luo’s WeChat Moments.

[Today’s outfit is stunning, Prince Charming.]

But shortly after posting, a message popped up on WeChat.

[Moral Exemplar: Thank you.]

Xia Xiqing couldn’t help but laugh. How thick-skinned could this person be? He was writing a comment for Xiao Luo, after all.

[Terrorist: Go walk your red carpet.]

Soon, he received an immediate reply.

[Moral Exemplar: I’ve already left. After watching the performance, there’s nothing else to do. I can’t stay for the banquet either.]

Thinking about how Zhou Ziheng had said yesterday that he needed to lose weight for his role, Xia Xiqing felt a bit sorry for him, but still teased him with a mischievous grin.

Just as he said that, the delivery call came. Xia Xiqing went downstairs to pick up the pizza and brought it back up. He and Xu Qichen sat on the floor eating pizza and drinking Coke.

Xu Qichen used a fork to roll up a strand of pasta and stuffed it into his mouth, shaking his head and mumbling, “Zhi Xu has been so busy lately…” He struggled to swallow the pasta, took a sip of Coke to wash it down, and added, “Chen Fang is dating someone now; maybe he’s having dinner with his girlfriend right now.”

“Chen Fang is in a relationship?” Xia Xiqing raised an eyebrow in disdain. “Which young girl is so blind at such a young age?”

Xu Qichen laughed, leaning to one side, still holding a slice of pizza. “They say she’s an intern at their company. I saw her the other day. She’s pretty cute. I think her name is Xiaoliang.”

Xia Xiqing sighed deeply. Xu Qichen stretched out his leg and kicked Xia Xiqing’s leg. “Hey, you’re the only one still single.”

“Me?” Xia Xiqing gave Xu Qichen a flirtatious look. “Finding a partner is just a matter of saying the word.”

“I’m not talking about that kind of companion. I’m talking about a proper relationship.” Xu Qichen shifted his buttocks closer, “I think Zhou Ziheng is pretty good. He’s good-looking, tall, and a decent person. Besides, aren’t you still his fan?”

Xia Xiqing pinched Xu Qichen’s face with his clean hand, “Why are you so concerned about me?”

“Of course I am.” Xu Qichen chuckled twice and scooped a piece of matcha cake into his mouth with a spoon.

The two of them ate and drank for an hour or two, during which Xu Qichen made various subtle hints, but Xia Xiqing, who pretended not to understand, brushed them off. He sent Zhou Ziheng photos of himself before eating and after eating, with the table in disarray.

[Moral Exemplar]: Are you a devil?

Seeing his reply, Xia Xiqing’s mouth turned up at the corners. He held the half-finished bowl of Russian soup in one hand and typed with the other.

“I’m so full.” Xu Qichen was uncomfortable from being so full, so he leaned against Xia Xiqing. Xia Xiqing couldn’t hold him, and the remaining half bowl of cold soup spilled all over Xu Qichen.

“Damn it,” Xia Xiqing suppressed his laughter and picked up the soup bowl from Xu Qichen’s neck. “I won’t look at you, but how are you going to go home like this?”

Xu Qichen puckered his lips, “I feel like I’m a walking bowl of Russian soup.”

“Why don’t you just take a shower? Take your clothes to the dry cleaner’s and wear my clothes home first.” Xia Xiqing couldn’t hold back his laughter anymore and laughed louder and louder. Xu Qichen followed his advice and went straight to the guest bathroom on the first floor, took off his dirty clothes, and took a shower. Xia Xiqing tidied up the takeout on the floor. He had originally planned to find him some clothes, but after cleaning up the trash, he completely forgot about it. Exhausted, he sat cross-legged on the sofa and drank a Coke.

The doorbell suddenly rang.

Who could it be at this hour? Xia Xiqing finished the last sip of Coke, placed the empty cup on the floor, and walked to the entrance to glance at the electronic screen.

Zhou Ziheng?

Xia Xiqing pressed a button on the electronic screen and said to him, “Why are you at my house?”

“I… I forgot my key card.”

“Then call the property management. Why come here?”

“I’m tired. I just want to sit for a while.”

“How long?”

“What do you mean, how long?”

Xia Xiqing deliberately adopted a cold tone, “How long?”

Zhou Ziheng’s expression fell a little, “Five minutes…”

“Alright.” Xia Xiqing forced a smile and opened the door, but when he opened it, there was no one outside. He glanced outside and was dragged into the entranceway by someone, who then pressed him against the wall of the entranceway and started kissing him without saying a word.

“Um… Hey, Zhou Ziheng…” Xia Xiqing couldn’t push him away. The kiss was so sudden that he wasn’t prepared at all, his scalp tingling as if he’d been electrocuted.

“Damn it… What are you doing… Get off…”

Zhou Ziheng’s hand rested on the back of his neck, his voice low and breathless, “I’m hungry.”

“What does that have to do with me… um…”

In just a couple of months, Zhou Ziheng’s kissing skills had improved dramatically. At first, he could only be kissed forcefully by Xia Xiqing, but now he could completely take control, his tongue smoothly prying open Xia Xiqing’s teeth, licking and wrapping around his tongue, swirling around in that wet, hot mouth.

“So sweet.” Zhou Ziheng cradled Xia Xiqing’s face, kissing him passionately. Xia Xiqing’s heart raced abnormally upon hearing those words. He gripped his tie with one hand and Zhou Ziheng’s shoulder with the other, stammering out a response, “I just… drank some Coke…”

Zhou Ziheng kissed his way from his lips to his ear, leaving a trail of light, hot kisses, before biting his earlobe. “No.” His laughter was low, his breath tickling Xia Xiqing’s soft ear. “You’re already sweet enough.”

Xia Xiqing was so aroused by him that he couldn’t think straight, reaching out to wrap his arms around his neck and kiss him again, his fingers tangling in his hair, his breathing growing increasingly chaotic, sweat beading on his temples, on the verge of losing control.

“Xiqing? Could you get me my clothes?” He faintly heard a voice…

“Where is everyone? Xiqing?”

Clothes?

Shit.

Xia Xiqing opened his eyes and pushed Zhou Ziheng away. “Wait, wait, let me explain. That was…”

“Xi—Qing—”

“Brother, please don’t shout.” Xia Xiqing covered his forehead with his hand, unable to look at Zhou Ziheng’s face. He hadn’t done anything wrong, but his words started to stumble. “That’s Xu Qichen, you know him, Xu the editor? The tall, slim one, remember?”

Zhou Ziheng’s expression didn’t improve much. He crossed his arms, wiped his lips with his fingers, and looked at him deeply, “Then what?”

“Then we ate together. He got his clothes dirty, so he went to take a shower, and then…” Before he could finish explaining, Zhou Ziheng once again silenced him with a kiss, this time even more intense than before, holding Xia Xiqing so tightly it felt like he was about to crush him in his arms.

But the more he pressed, the more Zhou Ziheng intensified, like a beast driven by hunger.

Just as Xia Xiqing was about to suffocate from Zhou Ziheng’s kisses, Xu Qichen, wrapped only in a towel with wet hair, emerged from the bathroom to the noisy entrance, wondering if it was a burglar or something.

Half a minute later, Xia Xiqing, who was being held tightly in Zhou Ziheng’s arms and kissed senselessly, heard Xu Qichen’s curse for the first time in his life.

“Holy shit…”

Author’s Note:

Xu Qichen: ???

Xia Qingqing: …

Zhou Ziheng: ( ˙-˙ )