Qin Sizheng jerked his head up too abruptly. The lips that had been speaking against his ear brushed past in passing.
Lu Xianqing did not seem to expect an answer. It was as though he were simply stating a fact.
“A Jing, do you like me?”
Inside Qin Sizheng’s chest, it felt as though someone had planted a seed that, upon touching water, burst into roots and tore through flesh to sprout. His breath hitched. “I… like you.”
“Why is your heart beating so fast? Not feeling well?” Lu Xianqing lifted his head and pressed a hand to Qin Sizheng’s chest, feeling the frantic pounding beneath his palm.
The moment Qin Sizheng met his gaze, he suddenly cooled down.
They were rehearsing.
He had almost thought Lu Xianqing was confessing to him.
A flicker of annoyance rose in him—he had nearly exposed himself.
“Can you keep going?” Lu Xianqing asked.
Qin Sizheng lowered his hand and nodded softly. “I can.”
“Good. That covers Ding Chenhai’s main emotional thread. Now let us talk about Chu Jing.”
Lu Xianqing gripped his chin again and lifted one of his legs slightly, drawing him closer.
“He was born in darkness, yet he symbolizes light. The screenwriter intended him as a character who lives toward death—no matter what he does, his starting point is kindness.”
“He is never awkward about being with Ding Chenhai. Physical and emotional intimacy are both rooted in love. He loves Ding Chenhai. Even knowing his hands are stained, he still wants to be his beam of light, to teach him what love is. You are all the goodness he has.”
Qin Sizheng listened earnestly.
Suddenly Lu Xianqing closed the last sliver of distance between them.
Was he going to kiss him?
For rehearsal, that would make sense… right?
Qin Sizheng’s mind raced. He remembered the fierce kisses they filmed earlier that day and felt his ears heat. His breathing trembled slightly as he waited for lips to descend.
Would he use his tongue? Should he respond? If he did, would Lu Xianqing think it was dirty?
His thoughts tangled uselessly—
Then a hand covered his mouth.
Lu Xianqing’s eyes were closed. There was an overwhelming sense of aggression in his posture, but he did not actually kiss him. His palm blocked the contact.
Qin Sizheng froze.
His heart beat even faster than before.
His nose and mouth were covered. One leg was lifted awkwardly. His back scraped lightly against the cold door with each small movement. Though separated by a hand, it felt even harder to endure than a direct kiss.
His hands were trembling.
“Mmm—” The sound was muffled. A faint trace of cold perfume lingered near his nose, but the dwindling air began to sting. His blood felt as though it were surging restlessly through his body.
Air cut off.
His lungs trembled.
Instinctively he tried to breathe, but there was no escape.
Just as he thought he might suffocate, Lu Xianqing suddenly lifted him up.
Reflexively, Qin Sizheng wrapped his arms around his neck. A few seconds later, he was placed onto the desk in the study.
He lay back, staring up at Lu Xianqing looming over him.
Those eyes were dark with possession. Slightly reddened. Yet compared to his own ragged breathing, Lu Xianqing’s was steady and slow.
“You like that Xiao Yu?” he asked.
Qin Sizheng froze for a beat, remembering they were still in character. “Let me go.”
“Do you like that Xiao Yu? The first time you met, you knelt for him. You fought in the arena for him. Do you like him?” Lu Xianqing’s hand slid to his throat—not sealing it like before, just loosely encircling it.
“Do not go crazy!” Qin Sizheng struggled, voice sharp. “Did you have someone break Xiao Yu’s leg? Do you know he is crippled now? He is his family’s only son. Do you have any humanity at all?”
Lu Xianqing’s fingers traced slowly along the side of his neck, as if they might snap it at any moment. His tone, however, remained light, almost amused. “If I see him touch you again, I will ruin him completely.”
“He was drunk! I do not like him at all—I only see him as a brother! Why are you being so jealous?” Qin Sizheng’s eyes reddened.
Lu Xianqing noticed the escalation in his emotion. There was life in his gaze now. If Zhou Changjiang saw this, he would probably like him even more.
The boy had instinct.
“So because he was drunk, he can kiss you? Hold you? If I get drunk, can I fuck you? Is that where your kindness lies?” Ding Chenhai’s words turned reckless, possessiveness and obsession twisting together as he sneered. “Guards! Let our A Jing serve properly—”
Smack.
A sharp sound rang out.
Qin Sizheng’s hand struck Lu Xianqing’s face. This time he controlled the force, only grazing him lightly, but his tone was perfect—raw and fierce.
“I fucking like you!”
Lu Xianqing was stunned by the shout. The young man’s pupils trembled violently, his reddened eyes locked onto him. His voice was sharp and fierce, and the tears fell almost at the same moment he cried out that “you,” splashing straight into Lu Xianqing’s gaze.
Something in his chest jolted. Without thinking, he pulled him into his arms and gently patted his back. “All right, don’t cry. I only said that because I was furious. How could I ever bear to let anyone else touch you?”
Qin Sizheng lay against his chest, aggrieved, grabbed his hand, and bit down hard. “You bastard.”
“Yes, yes, I am a bastard. A scumbag… A-Jing, don’t be angry. You can hit me or scold me. I will not fight back.” Lu Xianqing coaxed him softly. Seeing how indignant he still looked, he could not help but laugh. “Why are you still not satisfied? Do you need jade shattered and silk torn before it counts? Or should I light a beacon fire for you on the spot?”
Qin Sizheng’s emotions always ran high. Whenever he acted, he forcibly immersed himself into Chu Jing’s role. Only when he came back to himself did he realize he was being held, straddling Lu Xianqing’s lap. Embarrassment washed over him at once.
Lu Xianqing had intended to rehearse another sweet study-room scene with him, but he was afraid of going too far and scaring him off from coming next time. Regretfully, he set him down.
“It is late. Go back and rest.”
After seeing Qin Sizheng to the door, Lu Xianqing watched him hurry off. About three minutes later, he saw him running back again, slightly out of breath, holding out a small box.
Lu Xianqing took it and glanced at it. Liquid mosquito repellent.
“Good night, Fourth Brother. Hope filming goes smoothly tomorrow,” Qin Sizheng said.
Lu Xianqing’s heart softened. He lifted his hand, intending to pat his head, but just before touching him, he changed his mind. Instead, he pressed two fingertips lightly against Qin Sizheng’s lips.
“Good-night kiss.”
Qin Sizheng froze. Lu Xianqing cut off his retreat in advance. “A-Jing would not mind giving Ding Chenhai one, would he?”
“I do not mind. You— you should sleep early! Good night.”
Lu Xianqing let out a soft laugh as he watched him flee in a fluster. The moment he shut the door, his brows knitted tightly, and he turned toward the bathroom.
An Ning had not slept. Knowing he was about to vomit, she came out worriedly with a cup of warm water. “Spoiling him should have limits. You clearly cannot eat meat, yet you insist on forcing it down. Even a foolish tyrant is not as reckless as you.”
Lu Xianqing’s face was pale. After rinsing his mouth, he came out, took the warm water she handed him, drank a sip to ease the nausea, then swallowed several pills, his brows tightly furrowed the entire time.
“I am not nagging, but you know your own condition. You will not tell us what is really going on, yet you will not even be more careful yourself.”
Lu Xianqing pushed the cup back into her hands. “I know my limits.”
“You know nothing,” An Ning blurted.
Lu Xianqing turned to look at her.
“Xingxing-jie said it. I am picking up bad habits. I will reflect on it. I will not say it next time.”
“All right. I am really fine this time. Go back and rest. I am heading to my room too.” Lu Xianqing picked up his phone as he walked and dialed Ye Xu. She had probably been waiting, because she answered immediately.
“Oh? I am surprised you still remember this matter.”
“Calling a beauty cannot be delayed for even a moment. I just finished working,” Lu Xianqing said, sitting by the floor-to-ceiling window. He propped his head on one hand and looked at the screen, the backlight helping conceal some of the pallor in his face.
Ye Xu was not interested in his smooth talk and went straight to the point. “Is it about what happened when you were little?”
Lu Xianqing’s hand paused. “What about when I was little?”
Ye Xu ground her teeth. “He Xing called me. I racked my brains trying to figure out what could possibly be wrong with my son. I raised my precious baby so carefully. Then your father took you for a few days and turned you into—”
“Mom, I am fine,” Lu Xianqing cut her off abruptly.
Ye Xu’s heart ached too much to believe him. “Fine? He Xing told me that when you lost control some time ago, it was exactly the same as when you were little! And these seven or eight years of psychological counseling—when you were in pain, you endured it alone. I am not fit to be your mother. I do not deserve to be.”
Ye Xu had always refused to admit defeat. Lu Xianqing had only seen her cry twice—once after the childhood accident, and now.
She was strong-willed. No matter how great the setback, she always carried herself like she was invincible. Yet she did not utter a single word of reproach for him not telling her. Instead, she only reflected on why she had not known sooner.
“I was not a competent mother. I am sorry.”
Lu Xianqing let out a long breath. “Mom.”
Her eyes were red as she stared at him pitifully. “Then call me Mommy. Only then will I believe you are not angry with me, that you do not resent me.”
Lu Xianqing frowned slightly. “You are acting in front of me.”
“I am not acting. It is genuine emotion. Look at my tears.”
He studied the woman on the screen in silence for a moment. He knew her heartache and guilt were real. So he softly called, “Mommy.”
Ye Xu’s tears fell at once. She turned her head to wipe them away before facing him again, forcing a smile. “Mm. My baby is so good.”
Lu Xianqing’s brow twitched. “…”
He guessed that He Xing had not told Ye Xu about his tendency toward world-weariness, so he chose his words carefully to reassure her. “I am really not as serious as you think. People naturally react to painful things. That is normal. The fact that I am willing to see a doctor on my own shows that I understand the seriousness of it, right?”
For a moment, Ye Xu could not find a flaw in his reasoning.
“Shen Qing is an excellent doctor. I do not go to him for treatment, exactly. He is a good friend and someone I can confide in. When you are unhappy, you call and scold my father too, do you not?”
Ye Xu paused. “…Do not listen to others talking nonsense. Am I that kind of person?”
Lu Xianqing suppressed a laugh. “See? You get reflexively angry just hearing about my father. It is the same. Our industry itself carries a lot of pressure. We endure praise and insults every day. It is easy to develop psychological issues. It is not just me. Ask around—many people have them.”
Ye Xu fell silent for a moment before saying, “After you finish filming this drama, you are coming with me to meet someone.”
Lu Xianqing knew she meant a psychological evaluation. To ease her guilt and doubts, he could only agree. “All right. I will go with you.”
Ye Xu propped her chin on her hand and let out a long breath. “You little brat, you scared me to death. When He Xing called me, I almost jumped off the building!”
Having successfully led her off track, Lu Xianqing added fuel to the fire and steered the topic even further astray. “Mom, there is something I want to tell you. Is there a window near you?”
Ye Xu said, “No. Why?”
“Do you remember the child who called you Mommy at noon?”
Of course she remembered.
“If nothing unexpected happens, he will be your daughter-in-law in the future. You should start getting used to it now. Think about what kind of first-meeting gift you will prepare so it does not seem improper.”
Early the next morning, Qin Sizheng had just woken up when he received a message on WeChat. Still half-asleep, he opened it—and instantly sobered.
Lu Xianqing was wearing a black suit, which accentuated his restrained, ascetic coolness. Something seemed slightly off; he stood to the side with his hands in his pockets, looking faintly impatient while the makeup artist stood on tiptoe to adjust his tie.
He had his head lowered, seemingly lost in thought. Perhaps he sensed he was being filmed, because he suddenly turned his head and looked toward the camera, his gaze sharp and piercing.
The clip was only eight seconds long, yet Qin Sizheng felt as tense as if he had filmed several scenes with him. Especially when Lu Xianqing turned to look over—he felt as though he had been caught peeking.
Fourth Brother is so handsome. His figure is incredible too. That suit looks amazing on him.
The suit was clearly restrained and austere, yet it carried an inexplicable sense of desire. A flush slowly rose to Qin Sizheng’s cheeks. He swallowed unconsciously and still had not calmed down by the time he arrived at the set.
An Ning held her phone and asked Lu Xianqing, “Why did you make me send it? Would it not be better if you sent it yourself? You could flirt a little while you are at it. If I send it, how are you going to flirt?”
Lu Xianqing said, “What do you know?”
Being openly delivered into someone’s hands feels different from secretly peeking. Besides, if he sent this kind of thing himself right now, he would scare him off. Then there would be no next time.
An Ning still did not understand.
Lu Xianqing said, “Even if he does not like seeing me and finds it annoying, he will only find you annoying, not me. He will just think the me who was secretly filmed looks pitiful and deserves a kiss and a hug for comfort.”
An Ning was full of question marks.
“And if he likes it, then in his heart I will become a little more charming. Mm. Not bad.”
An Ning ground her teeth. “Why can it not be withdrawn after two minutes!”
When Qin Sizheng arrived on set, Lu Xianqing’s gaze was still on his mind. While getting his makeup done, he replied to An Ning’s message. “Sister An Ning, how far along are you in filming?”
An Ning was probably not busy, because she replied quickly.
[There is a problem with the equipment. They are adjusting it. Is Fourth Brother handsome?]
With his heart pounding, Qin Sizheng answered honestly: [Handsome.]
An Ning replied: [Has baby not started filming yet? Are you in makeup? Do you mind taking a selfie?]
Qin Sizheng was not good at taking selfies, but he secretly wondered if she would show it to Lu Xianqing. So he asked Shen Changfeng to take a photo of him while he was getting his makeup done and sent it over.
After receiving the photo, An Ning saved it first, then backed it up, and replied: [Wah, my baby looks so good. Do your best in filming! I promise I will not secretly send your photo to Fourth Brother. Do not worry.]
Qin Sizheng: ?
All right. Miscalculated.