That night, I don’t even know how I slept. I woke in the middle of the night, my body icy and leaning against the wall. Lazily, I slid back into the bed, pulled the covers over me, and sank back into unconsciousness.
The next morning, I hadn’t opened my eyes yet. My mind was just waking up when I sensed something was wrong.
Something heavy lay across my waist—a warm, burning chest pressed against my back. The other person’s steady, powerful heartbeat penetrated my body.
I froze instantly.
It was Shen Jianqing.
Almost instinctively, I shut my eyes and pretended to sleep. For a long while, he remained still, breathing evenly and deeply.
When had he come in last night? I hadn’t noticed at all. But now my mind began to stir.
If he was in the room, the door surely wasn’t locked! Even if it were, he must have a key!
I could leave.
The thought sent a surge of joy through me, but then reality struck: even if the door were unlocked, my injured leg would prevent me from going far. Unless…
I carefully lowered his arm, slowly and gently turning myself in his embrace. I moved lightly, careful not to wake him.
I barely breathed.
Turning around, Shen Jianqing’s peaceful, sleeping face filled my vision.
His eyes were closed, all the madness and malice hidden, leaving only a facade of obedience and innocence. Only now did Shen Jianqing look like an ordinary eighteen-year-old boy. If he were outside, he’d probably just be starting college.
If fate had allowed, he could have been my junior, my friend, someone to enjoy the world’s complexities with.
But the world has no “ifs.”
As I thought this, I slowly reached out, my hand moving toward Shen Jianqing’s delicate neck.
A dark, twisted, insane thought surged.
If he were dead, no one would harass me anymore. I could return to my old life, forget everything here. The culprit—Shen Jianqing—would be gone.
The thought made me swallow hard. My hands trembled uncontrollably, frozen midair, unable to move further.
He was asleep now, defenseless, at his most vulnerable. Strike now, Li Yuze!
Don’t you want to get rid of him? Strike! It won’t take long—five minutes, maybe three, even just one—and this problem would be gone forever!
No!
A voice erupted from deep inside me.
What are you thinking? Kill him?!
Nothing in this world can be buried forever, no wall is completely airtight. You still have a bright future ahead—how could you throw it away with your own hands?
And Shen Jianqing…
My mind was a battlefield—confused, struggling. My hands trembled violently. I knew I couldn’t go through with it.
“Ha—”
I let out a heavy sigh, feeling a little dejected, about to pull my hands back. But before I could, they were suddenly enveloped.
Shen Jianqing had grabbed my hands and pressed them against his chest!
I froze, terror running through me, my back stiff as a board. It took me a long moment to dare to look up, meeting Shen Jianqing’s clear, fully awake eyes.
They sparkled with amusement, and the corners of his mouth lifted slightly. I couldn’t tell if he had noticed my earlier intentions.
“I’m so happy, Li Yuze!” he said, unabashedly leaning into me, his fuzzy head nuzzling against my chest, then lifting his eyes to glance at me.
He was taller than me, but still a boy—slight and thin, so this gesture didn’t feel forced.
“What are you happy about?” I asked.
Shen Jianqing looked serious. “You couldn’t bring yourself to kill me! You didn’t… because maybe, just maybe, you finally like me a little?”
He knew.
If I had been cruel enough to act just now, I couldn’t even imagine what would have happened next.
Seeing me remain silent for a long moment, he tilted his head, raised one eyebrow, and let out a teasing, “Hmm?” through his nose.
I averted my eyes, too guilty to speak.
Logically, I should have answered “yes,” soothed him, relaxed his guard, and found my chance to escape. But emotionally… I couldn’t bring myself to say it.
I was naturally reserved, never one to put feelings into words. And Shen Jianqing… how could I ever like him?
I rolled over and sat up, pretending to get dressed, creating distance between us. He frowned but didn’t stop me.
Silence filled the room.
Sunlight leaked through the window, casting a fragmented golden glow on the floor. Neither of us spoke.
After a long while, I whispered, “Shen Jianqing.”
He replied casually.
I hesitated, then finally let out my tension. “My leg… it really hurts.”
Shen Jianqing lay back, half-long hair spread across the pillow. His dark hair contrasted with his fair skin and perfect features. Now, wearing an innocent, handsome expression, he said, “I’ve been waiting for you to speak for so long.”
My heart skipped a beat.
“Are you going to barter with me again?”
At the mention of “barter,” a chill ran through my brain. Memories of that unbearable day surged uncontrollably—Shen Jianqing’s bloodshot, lust-filled eyes, the upside-down world, the tearing pain.
“I’m a person, not a thing! And…,” I hesitated, then gritted my teeth, “can you stop thinking about that all the time?”
“What thing?” Shen Jianqing asked innocently, sitting up. His eyes were pure and clear, like a being untouched by the mortal world.
Him!
My cheeks burned; I could feel the redness without even looking. I secretly hated him. He spoke as if… what happened before wasn’t his doing.
“Hahaha!” Shen Jianqing laughed, the red mole on his eyelid vivid and striking. “I just wanted to hear you say, ‘I like you.’ Where did your mind wander off to?”
I: “……”
Now he was turning it back on me.
Shen Jianqing lifted the blanket. Startled, I realized he had grabbed my right foot. I tried to pull it back, but he was strong and stubborn.
“Swollen like this… pitiful,” he said. “If you limp like this forever, you’ll be inconvenienced everywhere. You’ll have to rely on me for life.”
His voice deepened, as if considering the feasibility. My heart sank. I had already guessed his intention, but hearing him say it aloud made me feel an inexplicable sense of disappointment.
I didn’t even know what expectations I still had for him.
The next moment, Shen Jianqing lifted his head, raising an eyebrow. “So… do we have a deal?”
He looked at me with wet, pleading eyes, like the stray dog I sometimes fed at school. But I knew he wasn’t a pitiful stray.
Shen Jianqing was like a beautifully patterned snake—perfectly disguised, deadly fangs hidden.
He nudged my foot again, silently asking: “Deal?”
Honestly, it was the most profitable trade I could imagine. I just had to move my lips to get what I wanted.
Nothing to hesitate over—I wasn’t some naive girl. Though I’d never confessed to anyone, I’d heard these words enough times.
I took a deep breath, looked Shen Jianqing in the eyes, and said, “I like you.”
The moment I said it, my heart trembled. A feeling I had never experienced surged through me.
Before I could process it, darkness flickered in front of my eyes. Shen Jianqing lunged, one hand on the back of my neck, the other brushing my face. I froze. A cool, mist-like breath washed over me, and his lips pressed warm and soft against mine.
It was Shen Jianqing’s lips.
I stiffened, teeth clenched. But he was only slightly awkward, pressing gently, then nibbling my lower lip.
It didn’t hurt; it was tingling, electrifying. Our breaths mingled, a hot current rushing into my chest.
I should have pushed him away. But I didn’t. I stared at his face, so close I could see the red mole flicker.
I don’t know how long it lasted—maybe a minute, maybe a whole morning. God knows—but finally, Shen Jianqing released me.
His face was flushed, lips red, eyes frighteningly bright.
I turned my eyes away, feeling a little awkward.
Shen Jianqing pressed close to my ear, murmuring, each word crystal clear: “Li Yuze, I like you too! The moment I saw you, I knew this life was meant for us to be entangled together.”
He said it with such sincerity and passion, as if I had really confessed to him and we were truly a couple in love.
I had no words in reply, so I just nodded absentmindedly.
Shen Jianqing stayed close for a while longer, and I let him hold me. After a bit, he said, “I’ll send someone later. Don’t worry, your leg won’t be crippled.”
A wave of relief and happiness washed over me. Although Shen Jianqing had lied many times, I believed this one. He had no reason to deceive me now, after revealing his true face and all his intentions.
Once my emotions settled, I noticed something else in his words.
Perhaps because of my literary studies, I was unusually sensitive to language. The way he said “send someone” carried a tone of superiority, a kind of authority over others. Ordinary people like us never speak that way.
Who uses the word “dispatch” toward people in the village?
Shen Jianqing’s status in the Shidi Miao Village could not be simple. Yet he was clearly just an eighteen-year-old boy.
I suddenly recalled how, when we first arrived, the villagers brought us bedding. The way they looked at Shen Jianqing… it had seemed strange, tinged with both respect and fear.
At the time, I thought I was overthinking it, but now, recalling it, something felt off.
I realized I truly knew very little about Shen Jianqing.