The marriage agreement Qiao Hailou had put in their mailbox was confiscated by Uncle Li.
Li Chen couldn’t really hand something like that over to Shen Yuan, but he also couldn’t just throw it away. Tearing it up would be pointless—Qiao Hailou could always write another one.
In a state of extreme emotional conflict, he stared at the agreement and read it over again and again. Qiao Hailou had written it viciously, mercilessly. He was placing an enormous bet, clearly trying to lure Shen Yuan into taking the bait. Li Chen knew roughly how much Qiao Hailou was worth—it was an astronomical figure. Even compared to himself, Qiao Hailou was wealthier, and unlike Li Chen, who was merely preserving what he had, Qiao Hailou was still on an upward trajectory. Shen Yuan probably had no idea just how much money Qiao Hailou had. If he did… he might not be unmoved.
But was Shen Yuan really worth doing this for?
Li Chen suddenly remembered an old anecdote he’d once heard. About five years ago, during a major economic upheaval, many people went bankrupt due to poor management. Just managing to protect themselves was considered a success. But Qiao Hailou had taken his entire net worth and placed a single bet on a business venture. No one thought it would work. Everyone thought he’d gone insane. In the end, the results came in—Qiao Hailou made a fortune, leaving everyone else envious. But not everyone had the courage to stake everything. The richer you were, the more cautious you became, terrified that one wrong move would lead to irreversible ruin.
No matter how many times Li Chen read the clause in the agreement—if Qiao Hailou committed adultery or otherwise violated marital ethics, he would leave the marriage with nothing—it made his blood run cold.
This man was a lunatic.
And that was probably exactly why Qiao Hailou’s career was the most successful among all his peers.
In the end, Li Chen could only lock the agreement away in a drawer in his study, sealing it inside a plastic sleeve.
Since Shen Yuan had come to live with them, he’d always been so well-behaved. He’d never once caused trouble or given Li Chen any cause for worry. Xiao Lin, on the other hand, got into small and big messes from time to time. Who would’ve thought that when Shen Yuan finally did cause trouble, it would be something this huge?
After Qiao Hailou left, Li Chen kept thinking about what he’d said, reflecting on whether he himself had failed as a father.
By now, Shen Yuan had calmed down. He went to apologize to his uncle first. The hysterical, sharp, cutting demeanor from earlier was completely gone. He was once again the gentle, obedient child.
The corners of Shen Yuan’s eyes were still red as he said to Li Chen, “Uncle, I’m sorry. Don’t listen to what Qiao Hailou said. I’ve never harbored even the slightest resentment toward you. You gave me a second life—without you, there wouldn’t be a me today. I will never forget your kindness, not for as long as I live.”
Li Chen shook his head. “It’s fine. I didn’t misunderstand you. Didn’t he also say you respect me a great deal? I’m just thinking… maybe I really didn’t care enough about you. Otherwise, I should’ve noticed what was going on between you two sooner. If I had… it might not have turned into something this hard to clean up. That’s on me.”
There was also one thing Qiao Hailou had said that bothered him—he’d said Lin Zhihui and Li Lin both knew, and only Li Chen didn’t. That left him feeling pretty frustrated.
Shen Yuan said guiltily, “How could it be your fault? It’s not. It’s mine.”
He lowered his head, dejected. “Some of what Qiao Hailou said wasn’t wrong. I’m actually not a good kid. Uncle, you don’t need to feel so guilty. I didn’t meet him because you introduced us—we already knew each other before that. What happened between us has nothing to do with you. It’s all my fault. I’m rotten on the inside. I chased temporary pleasure and went looking for him.”
Thinking of what Qiao Hailou had said, Li Chen almost wanted to ask: were you really happy with him? You fool.
But there was no need to ask.
Qiao Hailou’s words might have been unpleasant, but some of them didn’t seem wrong. Just watching Shen Yuan argue with him was enough to see that. Li Chen thought that after knowing Shen Yuan for so many years, he believed he understood him—but he had never seen Shen Yuan so unrestrained, so unguarded. In Li Chen’s eyes, Shen Yuan had always been quiet and compliant. He’d never considered that this might all have been an act.
Who was at fault?
Perhaps no one was.
As a stepfather, with Shen Yuan’s biological mother already gone, there were layers of distance between them. Li Chen thought the child was fragile and sensitive, so he never spoke harshly to him. When Shen Yuan was young, he lived with his grandfather. After his grandfather passed away, he lived at school year-round. He never dared to act out.
It was Li Chen who hadn’t done well enough as a father.
He said seriously to Shen Yuan, “From now on, if you have any complaints or opinions, just tell me directly. Don’t bottle it up, okay? Say it out loud, and we’ll talk it through.”
There was another thing that left him even more frustrated. Li Chen went to ask Lin Zhihui, “So… you knew about Shen Yuan and Qiao Hailou all along?”
After a moment, Lin Zhihui replied, “Yes. I knew before.”
Holding back his irritation, Li Chen asked, “When did you know? And why didn’t you tell me?”
Lin Zhihui hesitated. “When we went to the Qiao family’s engagement banquet, I had some suspicions, but I wasn’t sure. How could I say anything without proof? About a month ago, when the two of them broke up, I finally confirmed it. Remember when Shen Yuan was especially depressed for a while? I asked him, and he told me. He didn’t dare tell anyone else—only me.”
Li Chen froze. Had Shen Yuan been depressed recently? How had he not noticed at all? The more he thought about it, the more upset he became. Was he really such an unqualified father? He asked, “Then why didn’t you tell me even then?”
With a headache, Lin Zhihui said, “Shen Yuan didn’t want you to know. How could I overstep and tell you anyway? I had to consider the kid’s self-esteem, didn’t I?”
The two of them had a small argument and parted on bad terms.
But there was one thing they did agree on: they needed to find Shen Yuan a good new partner—and push Qiao Hailou out of the picture first.
After the huge fight with Qiao Hailou, Shen Yuan spent most of the day in a daze. He couldn’t eat and couldn’t sleep.
He dreamed of Qiao Hailou—but it wasn’t a nightmare. It was memories of the good times they’d had together. There had been many of them. Normally, Qiao Hailou was gentle and witty.
Then he dreamed of his mother. She asked him, “When do you want to have the surgery? Have you decided?”
Shen Yuan asked, “I feel like I should be a man. But I also like men. Aren’t women supposed to like men? Then what am I?”
His mother stroked his head. “There’s no rule saying men can’t like men. You can become a complete man and still like men. There’s no contradiction there.”
She smiled at him. “This summer vacation, then. If you’re still hesitant, we’ll wait until the summer after your senior year. Think it through carefully. When the time comes, Mom will take you to have the surgery.”
Shen Yuan opened his eyes. It was still dark outside; the room was shrouded in gloom.
But he never made it to summer. His mother passed away first. There was now one fewer person in the world who cared about him and knew his secret. Shen Yuan did have the inheritance his mother left behind—enough to pay for the surgery. He’d even researched doctors and hospitals for years. But he didn’t dare go through with it. The risks weren’t small. One misstep, and he could die on the operating table. He kept putting it off, year after year, until he was nineteen.
He was afraid.
If only there were someone who could stay with him.
He’d once thought about asking Qiao Hailou to accompany him when the time came. But they hadn’t reconciled, and now they were completely broken. Worse still, Qiao Hailou had used this matter to threaten him, and had done those things to him. Even now, when Shen Yuan thought back to that night, he could still recall the sensation—like being consumed by blazing fire, on the verge of destruction, yet also like ascending into bliss. It terrified him, yet he couldn’t stop himself from savoring and longing for it.
He couldn’t sort out his feelings toward Qiao Hailou. Love and hate tangled together. He hated him—but when he really saw him, he couldn’t resist.
Shen Yuan tossed and turned, then got up early the next morning, only to remember that it was Saturday. No school.
So what could he do? Study? Prepare for next week’s finals?
Li Chen came to call him. “Put something cool on your eyes. Change your clothes. We’re going out.”
Shen Yuan froze and instinctively asked, “Where to? To see Qiao Hailou?”
This time it was Li Chen’s turn to be stunned. Was Qiao Hailou really all Shen Yuan could think about? Li Chen said, “No. The other party happens to be free today. I’m taking you on a blind date. Stop thinking about Qiao Hailou. I’m not going to ‘sell’ you to him for money. Don’t worry about that ridiculous agreement.”
Shen Yuan hadn’t expected a blind date at all. He shook his head, troubled but firm. “But, Uncle, I like men. I can’t ruin a girl’s life. Even if I never get married or find a partner, I can’t deceive a girl.”
This really was their good child. Li Chen, who’d been tense the whole time, suddenly felt much more at ease. He smiled. “No deception. I found you a boy, not a girl. He’s around your age, already out to his family, just like you.”
Li Chen apologized to Shen Yuan. “I’m sorry. My own fixed way of thinking affected my judgment. I’m not prejudiced against homosexuality—it’s just that my usual behavior made you afraid to tell me. If I’d known earlier… maybe things wouldn’t have turned out like this.”
Then Shen Yuan wouldn’t have had to suppress himself for so long and end up being taken in by Qiao Hailou. He could’ve found a well-matched boy close to home. He definitely could have.
Thinking of Qiao Hailou, Shen Yuan felt resistant to meeting other boys. In the past, he would’ve just endured it, but after what Qiao Hailou said yesterday—and after his uncle told him to speak his mind—he wanted to try changing. He tested the waters. “Uncle, I don’t really want to go…”
Li Chen said gently, “Meeting him doesn’t mean you have to date him. Just go and see. Even if it doesn’t work out, wouldn’t it be nice to make a friend your age who has the same worries?”
Shen Yuan thought it over and nodded.
They arrived at the café at the appointed time.
Shen Yuan was a bit late. The other person was already there, looking younger than him, quiet and reserved. Thin, small-framed, wearing round, gold-rimmed glasses. According to his uncle, the boy was also nineteen.
Once the two boys were seated, the parents left the café, letting them talk on their own.
The two of them looked at each other. The opening was awkward. Shen Yuan glanced at him; before he could even say anything, the boy’s face turned bright red, like a shy mimosa.
With no choice, Shen Yuan spoke first. “Hi. My name is Shen Yuan. The yuan from ‘earthen wall,’ with the ‘heng’ from ‘eternal.’”
The boy said shyly, “H-hi… I-I’m Yan Yu. Yan as in swallow, Yu as in feather.”
And then there was nothing to say again. After half a minute of silence, it was obvious this boy had been very well protected growing up—this was true innocence. Shen Yuan decided to be direct. “It was my uncle who insisted I come. I already have someone I like. I’m sorry.”
Yan Yu nodded. “I-it’s okay. My parents arranged this for me too. But since you already like someone, why aren’t you with him? Didn’t you tell your dad?”
Holding his teacup, Shen Yuan said gloomily, “My family thinks we’re not a good match. They don’t want me to be with him.”
Yan Yu said, “But if you like him, wouldn’t it be such a shame to miss out? I’ve been on blind dates for three months now, and I haven’t met anyone I like.”
Shen Yuan lowered his head, lashes drooping, and let out a long sigh.
…What should he do?
“Shen Yuan, what are you doing here?”
At first, Shen Yuan thought he was hallucinating—thinking about someone day and night until he imagined their voice. What was he doing here? Even if he wanted to find someone else, he should’ve cleared things up with Qiao Hailou first. Nothing between them had been resolved yet.
“Are you pretending you didn’t hear me, Shen Yuan?”
Shen Yuan caught a faint scent of cologne. He looked up. Qiao Hailou was already standing at the table, face dark, glancing at the boy sitting with Shen Yuan, then back at Shen Yuan. “What are you doing?”
Shen Yuan said blankly, “…On a blind date.”
“And what are you doing here, Qiao Hailou? How did you know I was here? Are you stalking me?”
Qiao Hailou answered shamelessly and righteously, “Yes. I’m stalking you.”
“I knew your uncle had another trick up his sleeve. Turns out he wanted to cut me off at the root. If I hadn’t been extra careful, wouldn’t you have just run off with someone else?”
Shen Yuan didn’t realize that he looked like a withered plant suddenly watered back to life. His eyes were shining as he stared at Qiao Hailou. “What’s it to you? What’s my relationship with you? What right do you have to question me?”
Yan Yu chimed in, puzzled, “Huh? Isn’t he the person you like? Didn’t you say you already liked someone, so you rejected me? I thought he was the one. Was I mistaken?”
Caught red-handed, Shen Yuan’s face flushed bright red.
Qiao Hailou burst out laughing and grabbed him. “Come with me.”
Blushing furiously, Shen Yuan was dragged away in full view of everyone. “Don’t pull me! This is kidnapping a law-abiding man! Have you no shame?!”
Qiao Hailou said even more shamelessly, “No shame. Come with me. If you don’t, I’ll hoist you up and carry you off.”
Shen Yuan glared at him, helpless as he was dragged into a run. “Where are you taking me? Your place?”
Qiao Hailou actually said, “I don’t know.”
Shen Yuan stared at him, speechless with anger.
Qiao Hailou looked at him, gaze burning like fire, as if he wanted to set him ablaze too. “I don’t know. I just know I want to take you with me—just us—to somewhere that can tolerate us loving each other.”
Shen Yuan’s eyes welled up, his nose stinging. He tightened his grip on Qiao Hailou’s hand.
He looked back and saw his uncle standing by his original seat, behind the glass, clearly having noticed that he’d been taken away.
Shen Yuan said, “My uncle saw us leave.”
Qiao Hailou smiled. “Then are you going to run away with me?”
With a pained, helpless expression, Shen Yuan said, “Do I even have a choice right now?”
Qiao Hailou tightened his grip and said petulantly, “Of course not.”
Shen Yuan ran with him, his steps growing faster and faster, as if he were about to take flight. He shouted, “I must be crazy! …You’re running too fast—I can’t keep up!”
Qiao Hailou scooped him up and took off at a sprint, leaving everyone else far behind.
They dashed across the plaza, startling a flock of white doves into the air.