“Don’t worry, I won’t leave. I’ll always be with you.”
“I really do feel a bit creeped out. Ah, it’s not that I’m scared—I’m scared you’re scared!”
He reached his hand inside: “Come on, I’ll take you to eat something delicious.”
He waited and waited, filled with anticipation, but no weight landed in his palm. Growing impatient, he peered inside. It was pitch black—he couldn’t see a thing.
“Xiao Ci?” He called out, then felt puzzled. How did he know the little brother’s name?
The little boy crawled out on his own. He withdrew his hand, feeling a bit dazed. What should he do next? Oh right—the little boy was hungry, his stomach growling. He should get the mousse cake from his backpack to tide him over.
He hurried to grab his backpack. Just as he turned to go back, he suddenly saw the little brother sprinting toward the park exit. There, parked outside, was a black sedan. Standing in front of it was a young man.
The man was neatly dressed, wearing silver-rimmed glasses. He looked refined and scholarly—obviously a really nice guy.
No!
A thunderclap echoed in his mind as he strode after the little boy. Don’t go! You can’t go! That’s a bad guy!
Little brother—no, Xiao Ci, Su Qingci! Come back! Come back, quick!!
“Jingchen! Pei Jingchen!”
Pei Jingchen jolted awake, the man before him overlapping with the little boy from his dream. He grabbed him tightly: “Don’t go! Come back, come back…”
Su Qingci felt his bones ache from the tight grip, but he didn’t struggle: “Jingchen, you had another nightmare.”
Pei Jingchen’s heart pounded so fiercely it threatened to burst. His scorching breath burned Su Qingci’s insides. His gaze drifted unfocused before he finally loosened his tight embrace after an agonizingly long moment.
“Yes…” Pei Jingchen gave a self-deprecating, bitter smile. “I’m sorry for disturbing you.”
It was four in the morning, the sky still dark.
Su Qingci sat down on the edge of Pei Jingchen’s bed and asked, “Jingchen, do you often have nightmares?”
Pei Jingchen’s heart skipped a beat. He forced a smile. “Occasionally.”
Su Qingci: “Don’t lie to me.”
Pei Jingchen’s pale lips trembled slightly. “Every now and then. It’s fine. Nightmares are normal.”
Su Qingci’s gaze turned serious. “Is having nightmares every single day normal?”
“Not every day,” Pei Jingchen reassured him with a smile. “Don’t worry, I’m fine. It’s just that the dreams feel so real they scare me. Come on, I’m not a kindergarten kid needing someone to stay with me after a nightmare. You should go back to sleep!”
Su Qingci grabbed Pei Jingchen’s hand. His palm was damp and clammy, drenched in cold sweat.
Annalise hadn’t exaggerated.
Su Qingci said sternly, “Pei Jingchen, if you feel unwell, see a doctor. Especially issues related to mental or psychological health—you absolutely cannot ignore them. Understand?”
Pei Jingchen’s heart skipped a beat. For a split second, he felt as if he’d been stripped naked and paraded through the streets. Though Su Qingci was the only spectator, it was enough to make him want to flee in utter humiliation.
He didn’t want Su Qingci to know his weakness. It was too pitiful, too shameful.
“It’s fine. Don’t worry about me, really.” Pei Jingchen gently stroked Su Qingci’s hair.
This wasn’t pure bravado. He was an adult—a weathered, battle-hardened adult—capable of taking care of himself without burdening others with worry. Upon sensing something amiss, he hadn’t avoided seeking help but had immediately gone to the hospital. The treatment had shown some effect, though curing this illness was exceedingly difficult. Recently, it had inevitably worsened.
At eight in the morning, during the doctor’s rounds, Pei Jingchen went to the doctor’s office as usual to inquire about Su Qingci’s condition and whether he could be discharged. The doctor said several test results were not ideal and that he needed to continue inpatient treatment.
At nine o’clock, Pei Jingchen arrived at the company on time for the daily routine meeting and the approval and signing of important documents. In truth, these documents had already undergone multiple rounds of scrutiny by subordinates before submission. After reaching Xu, the assistant, they were reviewed twice more before reaching the top. Pei Jingchen could easily skim through them at a glance and sign, but Xu knew his meticulous nature. He insisted on reading every single word, ensuring absolute accuracy before feeling at ease.
At 1 PM, lunchtime, Assistant Xu fetched a meal from the company cafeteria for Pei Jingchen. He devoured it in a mere five minutes. By the time Assistant Xu drove him back to the hospital, it was not yet 2 PM.
On the way, Pei Jingchen spotted roasted sweet potatoes for sale. Remembering Su Qingci’s fondness for them, he bought a bag. Upon entering the ward, he found Su Qingci absent. After inquiring with the nurse, he learned he had stepped out for a walk in the warm sunshine, drawn by the pleasant weather.
Pei Jingchen felt his heartbeat quicken involuntarily. His pace quickened until he located Su Qingci, only then feeling a wave of relief wash over him.
“Qingci.” Pei Jingchen approached, removed his own trench coat, and draped it over Su Qingci. “Don’t catch a chill.”
Su Qingci had been pushed out in a wheelchair by a nurse. With family members present, the nurse instinctively stepped aside.
The wheelchair was parked nearby. Su Qingci stood in the sunlight, gazing up at the sky. Pei Jingchen followed his gaze and saw a kite soaring majestically against the blue expanse.
Pei Jingchen chuckled. “Feeling like flying a kite?”
Su Qingci replied, “I was thinking about the kite you flew before. It went higher and farther.”
Worried Su Qingci might catch a chill, Pei Jingchen pulled up the collar of his trench coat. “The doctor said this morning you need to stay hospitalized a few more days. If you’re uncomfortable here, we can go home to sleep tonight.”
Su Qingci shook his head. “It’d be such a hassle going back and forth.”
Pei Jingchen smiled. “It’s not a hassle. I just don’t want you to get tired.”
Su Qingci let Pei Jingchen help him back into the wheelchair. He asked, “Are your legs cold? It snowed last night. I can go get a blanket.”
Su Qingci held his hand. “I’m not cold.”
Last night had brought the first snowfall of winter—fine and soft, melting upon the ground.
This year was a mild winter.
“Bought it on the way,” Pei Jingchen said, peeling the baked sweet potato and handing it to Su Qingci.
Su Qingci ate while listening to Pei Jingchen recount amusing anecdotes to pass the time.
Pei Jingchen wasn’t the gossiping type, but to keep Su Qingci from getting bored during his hospital stay, he’d somehow picked up the habit. He’d chat about celebrity divorces, new illegitimate children in wealthy families, and socialites who’d been cheated on.
As the sun dipped below the horizon and the air turned crisp, Pei Jingchen asked Su Qingci if he wanted to return to his hospital room. He shook his head. “Let’s watch the sunset a little longer.”
It was a clear day, and the fiery glow of the setting sun was a rare sight.
With Pei Jingchen by his side, Su Qingci stole glances at him out of the corner of his eye.
Annalise had urged him to seize an opportune moment to interrogate Pei Jingchen, but Su Qingci wouldn’t do that. At most, he’d only touch upon the surface. Even if the scars were right before his eyes, he wouldn’t tear them open. Precisely because he’d experienced that pain himself, he understood the careful guarding, the awkward concealment.
Su Qingci, too, harbored many unspoken burdens he’d never shared with Pei Jingchen. The closer the person, the less one wished to reveal their vulnerability.
Su Qingci asked, “Don’t you like sunsets?”
Pei Jingchen hesitated, then Su Qingci continued, “Sunset always carries a sense of melancholy—the emptiness after the clamor.”
Pei Jingchen suppressed the bitterness at his lips. “The sun always sets. Darkness always falls.”
Su Qingci smiled faintly. “But the sun also rises. Daylight always returns.”
The magnificent sunset cast its glow upon his pure, white face, his complexion so fair it seemed almost translucent. His eyes shone with a brilliant radiance, radiant and dazzling.
Pei Jingchen felt his heart flutter. Unable to resist, he crouched down, reaching out to gently brush the strands of hair that fell across Su Qingci’s forehead, strands now tinged gold by the setting sun.
“Xiao Ci.”
Pei Jingchen called again, “Xiao Ci.”
Pei Jingchen offered a broken smile, filled with self-mocking helplessness. “I don’t know what to do.”
Su Qingci suddenly felt his heart twist in agony.
He recalled so many things—Pei Jingchen’s care, the ICU stay, the burned painting, the breakup, the drugged incident, the blood transfusion, and their distant first meeting. Each memory stood vividly before him. He also remembered many people: Mu Yao, Chen Cancan, Wu Lü, Zhang Haonan, Annelise, Vivian, Pei Haiyang, Su Baidong, Jiang Seru, and Su Ge. Each face was etched into his soul.
In just twenty-four short years, it felt like he had lived an entire lifetime.
He was exhausted.
Precisely because he was tired, he no longer wished to ponder so deeply.
That day, before leaving, Vivian had spoken to Su Qingci in Russian. She wished him peace and joy, a long life, and urged him to cherish the present moment and follow his heart.
He thought to himself, the little girl had only been in China for a few days, yet she’d picked up quite a bit.
When Annelise came to see him, she too left a parting remark. He had asked her what she meant by “broken.”
Annelise replied, “Exactly what it says. I wasn’t exaggerating.”
Annalise paused, her gaze fixed deeply on him. “Qingci, he is your salvation, isn’t he? But have you ever considered that you are also his salvation?”
Su Qingci suddenly recalled that night at the campsite, when he had seen the agonizing struggle in Pei Jingchen’s eyes.
Pei Jingchen reached out from the world of the living, pleading and shouting to him in the depths of hell: Hold tight to me! Cling to me!
Pei Jingchen extended his hand toward Su Qingci: “Xiao Ci.”
Su Qingci looked at that hand.
The sunset faded, and dusk deepened.
As if traversing eighteen years of time, they found themselves back at the park slide—one beneath it, the other outside.
He said: You needn’t be afraid. I’ll always be with you.
He said: Come on, I’ll take you to eat something delicious.
“Is that okay?” Pei Jingchen’s eyes reddened. He had already sentenced himself to death, offering a bitter, wry smile.
It turned out that the moment he extended his hand to him, Su Qingci had taken root in his heart. He had never stopped growing, unnoticed, gradually flourishing. Not a scrawny sapling, but a boundless, lush primeval forest!
Su Qingci raised his hand. It traversed eighteen long years, once more reaching from the dark cavern into Pei Jingchen’s warm, fiery palm.
He had snatched “his earthly realm” from hell.
He had retrieved “his heavenly paradise” in this world.