Chapter 14
The two followed the waiter to their table and faced Cheng Ang at the adjacent table.
As soon as Cheng Ang saw Sun Yujie and Su Bin, his face instantly changed… He continued staring at them intently, his face filled with dark clouds, until the two sat down and the waiter handed them the menu.
Su Bin glanced at Sun Yujie, who also had an unpleasant expression. Su Bin wondered, what’s going on? Do they really have a conflict? But why does Sun Yujie speak so highly of Cheng Ang and yet act as if he wants to disappear when they meet? Or could it be that the conflict is one-sided—Cheng Ang has an issue with Sun Yujie?
Forget it, I won’t dwell on it! Su Bin ignored the awkward atmosphere and pretended to be calm. “Xiao Jie, what would you like to drink?”
Unconsciously using Sun Yujie’s nickname, Su Bin felt that by calling him that, he might be able to console the pale-faced guy… This nickname did shift Sun Yujie’s attention, and he was touched, but also slightly uncomfortable.
“I’ll drink anything,” Sun Yujie replied dryly.
Su Bin remembered the rose wine that Allen had recommended to him. A bright idea struck him, and he asked the waiter for a glass to recommend to Sun Yujie.
After the wine arrived, Su Bin sincerely said, “Try it, it has a really good taste.”
Sun Yujie: “…”
Adjacent table: “…”
Sun Yujie looked at him somewhat awkwardly and asked, “Isn’t this wine mostly ordered by girls?”
Su Bin remembered Allen’s words and said earnestly, “That’s a prejudice. My roommate said that men can drink it too.”
Sun Yujie: “…” While what Su Bin said was true, didn’t Su Bin notice that all the women at the surrounding tables had a glass, while none of the men did?
Su Bin hadn’t actually noticed, as he was engrossed in flipping through the menu… Because he couldn’t forget the filet mignon he had last time, he decided to order the same thing and asked for a medium-rare steak.
Just as he finished ordering, a figure suddenly appeared next to him, and immediately after, a hand wearing a silver Omega watch tapped on Sun Yujie’s side of the table. “Come out with me.”
Su Bin: “…” This guy is so rude! He didn’t even say hello to me…
Sun Yujie gave Su Bin an apologetic look and followed the owner of the watch outside. They didn’t return until the waiter brought their steaks. They came back one after the other.
Cheng Ang’s face was dark, and he grabbed his coat hanging on the back of the chair and walked out as if he didn’t want to stay for even a moment longer. Before leaving, he gave Su Bin a sinister glance…
If looks could kill, Su Bin would have been lying dead in the steakhouse!
“…” What’s wrong with that guy? Did I offend him in any way? Su Bin felt a bit frustrated.
The long-haired girl who was originally having dinner with Cheng Ang was also surprised. She called out his English name and followed him out… There were still two unfinished steaks on their table.
Sun Yujie returned to his seat with a pale face, and Su Bin didn’t know what to say. He was the one who was completely bewildered, unaware of what had happened.
Su Bin wanted to wait for Sun Yujie to speak first, but he just sat there dumbly, clutching and releasing his hands without uttering a word.
“I’m going to start eating…” Su Bin couldn’t wait any longer. He was starving!
Whether it was due to the awkward atmosphere or not, Su Bin felt that the steak today didn’t taste as good as the last time. The meat that was tender and juicy last time now felt tough…
After a few more bites, Su Bin finally put down his knife and fork and sighed, “Tell me, what’s going on between you and Cheng Ang?”
Sun Yujie moved his lips, but no words came out.
Su Bin couldn’t help but get a little angry, “Do you consider me a friend or not?” Although he wasn’t someone who loved gossip, it felt terrible to be left out like this!
Sun Yujie’s eyes were turning red, and he trembled his lips, “Michael, I’m sorry…” Following that, tears quickly welled up in his eyes and streamed down.
“…” Su Bin was utterly shocked. Sun Yujie was crying? This…this can’t be real!
“What’s wrong with you?” Did I speak too loudly just now? But I didn’t lose my temper!
While pretending to be strong, Sun Yujie widened his eyes and tears continued to flow fiercely. He choked, “I’m sorry…”
“Why are you apologizing to me…” Su Bin tried to lower his voice, “Everyone is watching us, don’t do this…”
Su Bin was at a loss, he felt like crying too…
One hour later, the two of them sat side by side on a park bench.
Su Bin gazed at the dark night sky, overwhelmed with mixed emotions. Sun Yujie had just confessed to him in fragments the whole story behind their situation.
A year ago, Sun Yujie had fallen in love at first sight with Cheng Ang when they first met at a Chinese student exchange party at M University.
A man falling in love with another man… Su Bin felt like his worldview was being refreshed.
“But I only had a secret crush on him. Cheng Ang is heterosexual, and I won’t make things difficult for him,” Sun Yujie said.
Cheng Ang was a year ahead of Sun Yujie, and he was unaware of Sun Yujie’s sexual orientation. He treated him like a younger brother, showing great care and concern… Su Bin understood that what Cheng Ang did was subconscious, as Sun Yujie had a soft and gentle personality that naturally evoked a protective instinct.
But tragically, six months ago, Sun Yujie accidentally stumbled upon a gay social networking website from Country B while browsing the internet. He foolishly registered an account and even posted some personal information on it.
In a city like M, where there were not many Chinese people, let alone Chinese homosexuals, as soon as he made his announcement online, someone exposed his sexual orientation.
“Just because of that, they discriminate against you?” Su Bin recalled the encounters they had with those “alternative” looking individuals at Tiffany’s when they were looking at rings.
Sun Yujie shook his head wryly. “The main reason they target me is because I am close to Cheng Ang. If I were just an ordinary person, they wouldn’t even bother with me…” When Cheng Ang found out about Sun Yujie’s sexual orientation, instead of distancing himself, he often went to console him, hoping that he could change.
Upon hearing this, Su Bin couldn’t help but ask urgently, “Can he change?”
Sun Yujie glanced at Su Bin, seemingly having a thousand words to say, but in the end, he simply said, “You and him are the same, you both don’t understand. Being born gay is something that cannot be changed.”
“…” Su Bin’s worldview was refreshed once again!
Sun Yujie continued, “Being with Cheng Ang, there are people who can’t stand it, they feel like I’m tarnishing his image because many people don’t understand us and think we are naturally deviant.”
This thought was a bit extreme, as Sun Yujie didn’t seem any different to Su Bin if he didn’t mention it… except for his way of thinking.
For example, Sun Yujie cared about whether Su Bin had a girlfriend, just like those girls (Wait, does he have feelings for me too? -_-#). He also envied Su Bin buying a ring for Chen Xiaotian and eagerly expressed his desire to receive a ring as a gift… After learning the truth, Su Bin quickly realized that those assumptions he made earlier were unfounded.
Sun Yujie sighed, looked up at the sky with a sorrowful expression, and said, “Many times, I wonder why my mom didn’t make me a girl. If that were the case, I could openly pursue the person I like… but I can only fantasize about it. Reality is reality, and Cheng Ang and I are on different paths, destined to have no future. The closer I am to him, the more painful it becomes, whether it’s unrequited love or the judgment of others… So, I try my best to draw a clear line and keep my distance from him.”
Sun Yujie’s tone was full of despair, and Su Bin couldn’t help but be affected by it, feeling a pang of heartache. He now understood why Sun Yujie both admired Cheng Ang and avoided him with strange behavior. It turned out that such pitiful people existed in the world…
But Su Bin didn’t understand why Cheng Ang always had a bad expression when he saw him. Could it be that because he was getting close to Sun Yujie, Cheng Ang thought he was also gay? (-_-#)
“What did he say to you when he called you out? Why did he leave directly afterwards?” Su Bin asked.
Sun Yujie remembered what happened earlier, and his face turned pale again. “Don’t get angry when you hear this…”
Su Bin replied, “I won’t get angry, just tell me.” A sense of unease washed over him once again…
“He told me that I didn’t try to change properly and that I was flirting with people everywhere. He asked me if I fall for someone as soon as I meet them…” Sun Yujie couldn’t continue, his face on the verge of tears.
“…” Damn it, Cheng Ang misunderstood! But that guy’s words were too damn harsh, right? What does he mean by “flirting with people everywhere”? With which eye did he see Sun Yujie flirting with him (Was he really being flirted with-_-#)? Su Bin couldn’t help but feel like exploding with anger!
Sun Yujie calmed his emotions and said, “I was angry at the time and impulsively said some hurtful things to him… I told him that it’s none of his business who I like, and he doesn’t need to bother with me in the future.”
“…” Su Bin was frustrated. Brother, are you trying to bring me down with you? By saying that, won’t Cheng Ang think I’m also gay?
“So, I apologize to you,” Sun Yujie looked at Su Bin, feeling guilty. “I’m sorry.”
Su Bin felt helpless. He couldn’t blame Sun Yujie because those were just angry words spoken in the heat of the moment. Anyone would have lost their temper in that situation.
Thinking that Su Bin was angry, Sun Yujie immediately said, “Michael, if you can’t accept my sexual orientation, you can tell me directly. It’s okay… I know you and Cheng Ang are both pure heterosexual men, but I swear, I really don’t have those kinds of thoughts about you…”
“…” No, that’s good!
Su Bin forced himself to calm down and said, “It’s not that I can’t accept it, but I need some time to process it.”
Although Su Bin had heard of homosexuality before, he never thought he would one day encounter a living, breathing gay person himself.
“I know it’s difficult for most people to digest,” Sun Yujie forced a stiff smile. “So if you feel uncomfortable being around me, I’ll automatically keep my distance.”
“…” Why did Su Bin suddenly feel pity for Sun Yujie?
“Do I really seem that narrow-minded to you?” Su Bin took a deep breath and said, “It’s just that I’ve always seen you as a straight guy, and now you’re telling me you’re gay, and also… um, you said you wish you were a girl? I’m thinking maybe I should look at you from a different perspective. Like treating you as a girl. Please don’t misunderstand, I don’t mean to insult you…”
Su Bin’s thoughts became somewhat incoherent. In his understanding, gay men who identify as women are often those with feminine traits, but he didn’t expect someone like Sun Yujie to be one.
Sun Yujie smiled and enlightened Su Bin, “In the gay community, I’m what they call a ‘zero’.”
“000? Zero? What does that mean?” Su Bin asked.
“In the LGBT community, those who take on the masculine role are called ‘ones’,” Sun Yujie made a circular gesture with his hand and shyly explained, “On the other hand, those who take on the feminine role are called ‘zeros’. But in the community, there are fewer ‘ones’ and more zeros or zero-point-fives.”
“…” Two men making circular gestures with their hands, where does the entrance go? Could it be… the backside? (⊙A⊙)…
What does zero-point-five mean? Half-penetrated backside? Su Bin felt like his worldview was not enough to handle this situation… Orz!
Seeing Su Bin’s conflicted expression, Sun Yujie also felt a bit awkward. Typically, straight guys would be disgusted by this kind of topic, so he quickly changed the subject, “Apart from romantic aspects, we’re not much different from regular guys… So please don’t treat me as a girl.”
Su Bin nodded slightly, speechless, and questioned the heavens…
After parting ways with Sun Yujie, Su Bin returned home feeling lost.
“What’s wrong?” Yang Chengzhe, who was adept at reading people, noticed that something was off with Su Bin.
“Brother Cheng…” Su Bin slumped on the sofa, with a vacant look in his eyes. He couldn’t help but feel sympathy for Sun Yujie, who stood alone on the opposite side of the road, looking incredibly lonely.
Su Bin was actually a very softhearted person. Once he considered someone a friend, he couldn’t bear to see them in a bad state.
“How do you view homosexuality?” Su Bin looked at Yang Chengzhe and asked, puzzled. “Today, I went out for a meal with a classmate I recently met, and I found out that he is gay.”
Yang Chengzhe paused for a moment and smiled, “Isn’t homosexuality normal? I have quite a few gay friends around me.”
Su Bin sat up straight, “What are they like?”
“They simply fall in love with people of the same gender, what else can you expect?” Yang Chengzhe replied casually.
Su Bin’s mouth twitched, feeling uneasy. “Are they… easily attracted to the same sex?”
Yang Chengzhe sighed, “Are you easily attracted to the opposite sex?”
Su Bin shook his head repeatedly, “It depends on the person.”
Yang Chengzhe said without words, “So it depends on the person for them too.”
“Oh…” Su Bin let out a long sigh of relief…
After a while, he asked again, “Are gay people often in pain?”
“It also depends on the individual or their mindset. If they can find a like-minded partner, they won’t feel any pain…” Yang Chengzhe rubbed his chin. “Speaking of which, because I’ve never been in a romantic relationship or had feelings for anyone, there was a time when I doubted whether I had any inclination towards homosexuality…”
“…” Su Bin remained silent.
Yang Chengzhe smiled and said to Su Bin, “But don’t mention homosexuality in front of Allen.”
“Why? Is he homophobic?” Su Bin asked.
Yang Chengzhe shook his head. “I’ve heard that he has been harassed by many gay people, so he might have some prejudice.”