Chapter 189
On the night of his successful confession, Su Bin stood in front of Allen, holding a blanket, and said, “I’m staying here with you tonight.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement.
However, Allen’s face became serious as he refused, “No, you should go back to your own bed.”
Su Bin, panicked, asked, “You’ve accepted me, so why can’t I stay with you?” He thought he’d finally be able to say goodbye to those cold, lonely nights at home.
Allen shook his head. “Even after I’ve been discharged, you’ll still sleep in a separate bed.”
Su Bin was shocked. “Why?” His expression showed hurt, as if asking, “Don’t you want me? You said yes, but are you lying to me?”
Allen pointed to the side and frowned. “If you want to stay, you can sleep on the floor.” Although the bed in the intensive care unit was larger, he couldn’t share it with Su Bin. He was afraid that, given his current condition, he might not be able to resist hugging him, which could be risky for his health.
Su Bin grinned. “Okay!”
Allen: “……”
The hospital room had a soft, thick carpet, and it was cleaned and disinfected every day, so it was very clean.
At night, Su Bin, feeling content, crawled into the sleeping bag he had just bought, wriggling like a caterpillar until he was as close to Allen as possible.
“Are you asleep?” This was the first time Su Bin had spent the night so close to Allen in months, and he was so excited that he couldn’t fall asleep.
“No,” Allen replied. He hadn’t fallen asleep either. He kept thinking about whether Su Bin was cold sleeping on the floor or if he was uncomfortable, feeling distressed about his “overly considerate” behavior.
“Go to sleep, I’ll stay with you,” Su Bin’s small voice came from beneath the bed.
A warm current surged in Allen’s heart as he sighed gently and closed his eyes.
Half an hour later, Allen heard rustling sounds from below and couldn’t help asking, “Are you still awake?”
Su Bin: “Mm… Sorry, I’m just turning over. Did I wake you?”
Allen: “It’s fine.”
After that, there was no more sound from below. Allen wondered if his words had made that silly boy too shy to move, or if he had finally fallen asleep.
… He actually fell asleep before I did!?
After a while, Allen asked softly, “Are you cold?”
“Huh?” Su Bin quickly responded, “No, I’m not cold. The room has heating, and the new sleeping bag is warm. Besides, I’m a young guy, how could I be cold?”
Allen was silent for a moment before saying, “I feel a little cold.”
Su Bin sat up quickly. “Should I turn the heating up higher?”
Allen: “No, if the heating is too high, it makes it hard to breathe.”
“Well then what should we do?” Su Bin thought for a moment and cautiously suggested, “How about I warm up your bed? I’m really hot.”
Allen: “……”
Su Bin: “I’ll sleep below once you’re warm enough, how about that?”
Allen: “Come up.”
Su Bin: “……”
To make sure Allen could feel his warmth more directly, Su Bin took off his pajamas and found Allen’s body in the dark. The moment their bodies touched, Su Bin’s heart clenched—Allen was so cold, like an ice block lying there.
“You’re so cold,” Su Bin whispered, carefully pulling him closer to share his body heat.
In the darkness, Su Bin caught sight of Allen’s bright eyes, and he tightened his arms around him, whispering, “Those days when you were in trouble, I went to L city…” He slowly shared with Allen his fears, hesitation, and helplessness during that time, and finally said, “So, I came back after I figured things out, not because of what happened to you.”
Though he had mentioned this to Allen before, this was the first time he had the chance to explain everything in detail.
“So please believe me. I won’t run away again. I’m not afraid, even if I have to stay by your side until the end,” Su Bin’s voice was soft, almost like he was talking to himself, with a trace of sorrow.
After a long silence, Allen replied, “I don’t want you to stay with me until the end.”
Su Bin, remembering the will Allen had left behind, immediately asked, “Why? Don’t you trust me?”
Allen responded, “Now, I think it’s not bad to let you live for me.”
Su Bin quickly covered Allen’s mouth. “Don’t say that… You’ll live a long life.”
Allen’s heart trembled—two years. He had finally heard the answer he had been waiting for.
Unable to stop himself, he leaned over and kissed Su Bin’s forehead. It felt so good to know that this person was still by his side.
In the end, Su Bin didn’t leave the bed as planned. He wanted to stay awake to make sure Allen fell asleep before going back to the floor. But when Allen really fell asleep, Su Bin was afraid that he would wake up cold, so he loyally stayed by his side until he dozed off as well.
The next morning, when Feiman came in to check on the patient, he saw the two of them tightly nestled together, and one of Allen’s arms was already bruised from being squished.
“Separate!” Feiman, the attending doctor, yelled in frustration.
That evening, a new sofa bed appeared in Allen’s hospital room. “You sleep there, and don’t climb into His Grace’s bed in the middle of the night!” Feiman warned Su Bin, his face dark.
Su Bin nodded guiltily. “Mm, I understand.”
Allen turned his body slightly and tried to move his right arm, which was already numb. A faint smile curled at the corner of his mouth—what was losing an arm for a night of deep sleep?
Before being discharged, Allen had to undergo one last full-body check, and during the examination, he had to remove all accessories, including his ring.
Although Su Bin knew this was a strict requirement, seeing Allen take off the ring still made him feel inexplicably tense.
While rubbing the ring with his thumb, Allen lowered his eyes and said, “Actually, I wasn’t planning on agreeing to you at first.”
Su Bin’s heart skipped a beat, his face turning pale with shock.
Allen continued, “Your behavior during those few days was too much. I was afraid that if I didn’t stop you, you might do something even more difficult for me to handle.”
Su Bin: “……”
Allen: “Su Bin, I know you’re soft-hearted, so I always thought that your persistence these past few days was due to guilt or a sense of owing me something… I was going to move to D city to recover, and that morning I thought it would be good to talk things over with you. A little time apart would be good for you too, since I can’t promise my health won’t deteriorate quickly… You understand, I can’t offer you any promises right now.”
Su Bin: “Allen, I……”
Allen raised a hand to signal him to be quiet and continued, “But when you knelt in front of me holding the ring, my mind went blank, and I couldn’t say anything.”
Su Bin: “……”
“So, I’m also selfish,” Allen smiled a little, looking up at Su Bin. “Remember, you don’t owe me anything.” As he said this, Allen placed the ring into Su Bin’s palm. “Hold onto it for me.”
By saying “hold it for me,” Allen had acknowledged that the ring belonged to Su Bin… Su Bin, obsessing over this small detail, felt his eyes water, deeply touched.
After Allen was discharged, he would stay at home for a couple of days before they both moved to D city for his specialized care. Su Bin asked, “What should we do about this house when we leave? Should we cancel the lease?”
Allen replied, “No need to cancel. Your friends are here. Whenever you want to come back and see them, just come.”
Su Bin was shocked. “You’ll let me come back?”
“Why wouldn’t I?” Allen glanced at him, then casually changed the subject. “I want some fruit.”
Su Bin: “We don’t have any fruit at home. I’ll go to the supermarket. What do you want?”
Allen tilted his head. “Blueberries, I guess.”
Su Bin walked to a nearby convenience store, thinking about what Allen had said earlier. He assumed that, given Allen’s personality, Allen would want him to give up all socializing and stay with him all the time!
The convenience store stocked some fresh fruits, but not many, and the blueberries were already sold out when Su Bin arrived. He went back to his car and drove to a larger supermarket further away.
As soon as he parked, he received a message from Allen—“Why is it taking so long?”
Su Bin replied, “I just got to the big supermarket. The one near home was out of blueberries.”
Allen: “You can buy something else.”
Su Bin: “……”
Allen: “Video call me.”
Su Bin’s lips twitched. He had to be video-monitored while shopping for fruit? Looks like coming back was going to be a rare occurrence!
He opened the video call, and Allen immediately started picking fruits in front of the camera: “That orange looks nice… hmm, and a little bit of grapes too.”
When he returned home, Su Bin washed the fruit and soaked it in warm water before bringing it up to Allen.
Allen was leaning back on the bed, looking like a demanding emperor waiting to be served. Su Bin fed him the fruit, but after only a few bites, Allen said he didn’t want any more.
Su Bin wasn’t upset. He patiently took care of Allen, pouring him tea, checking if he was warm enough, and massaging his shoulders and legs, making sure he was completely satisfied.
“Allen, why did you lie to me about not knowing Chinese before?” Su Bin suddenly asked.
Allen: “……Hmm?”
Su Bin was speechless, staring at Allen. “Don’t play dumb. If I hadn’t called my dad, I wouldn’t have known you could speak Chinese… Were you planning to pursue me even back then?”
Allen looked at the ceiling, pretending he didn’t understand.
Su Bin was momentarily at a loss for words. “Do you really not understand Chinese?”
Allen: “Mm.”
Su Bin: “……” He had just said that in Chinese! How could this happen? qaq
Because of the accident, Allen’s body had suffered severe damage, and his need for rest was even greater. He’d wake up for a short while before feeling drowsy again.
Su Bin helped him lie down, sitting by his side, holding his hand as he watched him fall asleep completely.
Thinking about some of Allen’s recent actions, Su Bin couldn’t help but laugh. The old Allen wouldn’t have been this capricious, but recently he had been acting so childishly.
— “Is this to test my sincerity?”
“I told you, I’ll always be with you.” Su Bin lowered his head and kissed the back of Allen’s hand, softly saying, “Look, I care about you so much. So, you need to get better soon.”
In his daze, Allen heard these words and, with his eyes closed, silently promised in his heart—Yes, I can let go of this world, but I can’t let go of you.
After being transferred to D city, Allen had access to better medical equipment, and with Su Bin never leaving his side, his health began to improve rapidly. Even the doctors were surprised by how quickly he was recovering. But when they remembered that this was the legendary “Duke Lance,” they were not as surprised anymore.
In just three months, Allen was able to walk outside on his own and do some simple exercises.
At the rehabilitation center, the staff often saw the young man accompanying the Duke—he would push the wheelchair, fetch his coat, smooth out his wind-tousled hair—his attentiveness so overwhelming that it even made the nurses blush.
Some speculated about their relationship, while others secretly inquired about the identity of the young man. However, in this era, although people still enjoyed gossiping about the private lives of the aristocracy, no one criticized the affectionate closeness between two men.
It was April in B country, and the weather was pleasant. Allen was only wearing a thin sweater, but after walking for just half an hour, he was already drenched in sweat.
“Are you tired? Do you want to rest for a bit?” Su Bin kept pace beside him.
Allen waved his hand, refusing Su Bin’s help. He didn’t like the way Su Bin looked at him as though he were an “old, weak, sickly person.”
After walking for another half hour, his body felt as if it were falling apart, and only then did Allen stop, sitting on a bench by the flowerbed to rest.
Su Bin took out a handkerchief and wiped the sweat from his forehead, asking, “How do you feel today?”
Allen clenched his fist. “A little better than yesterday.” The strength in his arms and legs was clearly returning, which encouraged him. He looked forward to regaining the ability to easily subdue a “cake” with one hand as he used to.
Su Bin secretly relaxed while watching Allen’s weakened “Iron Sand Palm.” A vulnerable Allen was oddly reassuring…
There were many patients with distinguished backgrounds at the rehabilitation center. Among them was a six or seven-year-old boy named Vincent, who had been diagnosed with a heart condition at birth. His parents were high-ranking officials in B country’s political scene. Due to their busy work schedules, they had arranged for Vincent to stay at the rehabilitation center, where he was personally taught by a tutor for early education.
Su Bin often saw him, and at this moment, while sitting by the flowerbed with Allen, he noticed Vincent again—carrying a book, walking slowly on his own. This was part of his daily exercise.
Allen noticed that Su Bin was staring at a specific spot and asked, “Are you looking at that child?”
“Yeah, he’s so cute,” Su Bin replied, his voice soft. “He has pale skin and blue eyes, so beautiful it’s unreal… But it’s also really sad. At such a young age, he has to take medicine and get IV drips every day.”
“Do you like kids?”
“Not really.” Su Bin looked at Vincent and couldn’t help but think of Allen when he was younger. Allen must have been the same back then, right?
