The only thing that answered him was the echo rolling through the mountains.
Ertian no longer dared to stay. In his mind, if he remained here, there was only death waiting.
He wrapped his padded coat tightly around himself, went outside, and picked up a sturdy branch to use as a walking stick, awkwardly trying to figure out directions.
He remembered that where vegetation grew thickly, there would be water. He wanted to find a water source—there, he might run into people.
Even if they wouldn’t take him along, he could secretly follow them. As long as he could get down the mountain, that was enough.
The western mountain was vast, and places with lush vegetation stretched over wide areas.
Following his rough sense of direction, it took him two days to finally find water. One of those nights, without the safety of the hut, he leaned against a tree, half-asleep and half-awake, nerves stretched to the limit, nearly driven mad.
Li Feng, who had been tracking and observing him, was fairly satisfied with his performance.
If he had been completely paralyzed by fear, he would have acted like the Chen father and son—no matter what, they never would have left the safety hut. They would have had no courage to take risks. Fear of the outside world would have cut off any chance of seeking survival.
But Ertian hadn’t done that. He came out to look for a way. And he adapted quickly.
Li Feng recalled beating Ertian before. Ertian had clearly been afraid of being beaten, but when it actually happened, he wasn’t that afraid—he shouted and protested, and next time, he would still dare to repeat his mistakes.
Having confirmed his courage, Li Feng decided it was time to meet him.
Not far ahead was a mountain stream, the water only reaching up to the waist.
Li Feng circled around from the side with Erhuang and arrived at the stream first.
He wandered nearby, found a suitable branch, sharpened one end, took off his shoes, and stepped into the water to spear fish.
When Ertian emerged from the forest and saw such a leisurely scene, anger surged up instantly, overwhelming him.
The fear of the past few days, the years of pent-up frustration—all of it erupted in that moment.
As he walked, he shouted. He stumbled and fell along the way, yet even as he crawled back up, he continued cursing. His voice echoed through the mountains, loud and full.
“You’ve looked down on me since we were little! No matter what I do, you beat me! Now we’ve already split the family—I haven’t provoked you! And you still want to kill me! So what if you can hunt? Mother favors you, Shun-ge sides with you, everyone says you’re capable—what am I? What is my life worth? In your eyes, I’m not even as good as a dog! You tricked me to the mountain and toyed with me like this! Who would care? They’ll all praise you, say you did right, that I deserve it! I have no ability, so I should just hand my life over to you to vent your anger! If I die today, I’ll drag you down with me!”
Over the past few days, he had thought of many things—sometimes his thoughts filled him with hatred, sometimes with fear.
Now that he saw Li Feng, he believed he had no way out. Hatred overwhelmed fear. At this moment, he only wanted to become a vengeful ghost, unwilling to let Li Feng go even in death.
He roared on, saying how he had been bullied outside, and Li Feng had never stood up for him—had beaten him just like outsiders did. They were not brothers, not family. Li Feng was on the same side as outsiders.
“You always liked making brothers with others! I’m not your brother—I’m your enemy! They beat me, and you beat me too! You said I had to learn that only a strong fist keeps you from being beaten. They also made me understand that I have no brother—if they beat me, so what! Later I didn’t even have a father anymore—I’m just a worthless life meant to be beaten!”
At home, when he helped out, their mother never showed concern, never praised him.
“When you come home and just help collect the clothes, Mother says you’re tired. You don’t have to do anything, and the whole family revolves around you. We owe you everything—Mother dotes on you, and whatever I do, she doesn’t see! Now that I’m going to die, was it her idea? Does she think I’m an embarrassment? Does she want me dead, like I never existed as her son?!”
Li Feng stood in the water, spearing fish. Ertian rushed into the stream as well, grappling with him, trying to gain the upper hand and force him under.
Years of farm work had given him strength. Though he had been hungry and sleepless for days, he now burst with raw power. Li Feng used eighty percent of his strength and threw him into the water.
Ertian assumed it was a deep river. He flailed wildly, laughing and crying, still shouting:
“So you really want me dead! Either way, I’m dead! If I die on this mountain, I’ll go find Father! You all live on—I’ll go find Father, I’ll go find Father!”
His words were like knives—cutting into the ears, slicing into the heart.
Li Feng had expected an outburst, but he hadn’t imagined the resentment in Ertian’s heart ran this deep.
He listened in silence, standing still, watching him.
Soon, the two figures in the water—one moving, one still—became synchronized.
Under Li Feng’s calm gaze, Ertian realized the water wasn’t deep. One foot found solid ground, then the other. Aside from his soaked, heavy, freezing clothes, there was no suffocating despair of drowning.
The two brothers stood facing each other in the water for a long time, neither speaking.
Over these past days, Li Feng had thought through many things, rehearsed many words. He had considered reasoning with him, settling accounts, even having a calm heart-to-heart. But now, he felt that all those words were contained within this silent exchange.
He didn’t need to say anything. From Ertian’s eyes, he already saw the answer. Ertian knew everything.
He knew the hardship of supporting a family, and he knew why things had been done this way. Deep down, he understood clearly—no one in this family had wronged him.
If their father hadn’t died so early, life wouldn’t have been so tense and oppressive. They would have had time to grow slowly.
But they hadn’t been prepared. Their mother had to carry the whole family. Many people doubted her; some even came to propose marriage. Later, she fought with relatives over hunting grounds and farmland. All of this left her with no room to tend to her children’s feelings. Just keeping them alive was already enough.
Li Feng had indeed been impatient. But after beating Ertian and realizing he was still being bullied by others, he had gone and beaten those people too. He believed Ertian knew this.
He turned and walked ashore, telling Ertian to follow.
Ertian’s steps were heavy—the soaked cotton coat weighed down his body, and his own harsh words weighed down his heart.
After a long while, before entering the safety hut, he spoke:
“Mother does favor you. Whatever I do, she never sees it. When she’s outside, she praises you—says you’re capable, talks about you with concern. At home, she tells me and Shun-ge to respect you, says how hard your life is. She never sees me. She only scolds me. Whatever I do, she scolds me. What she gives me is always what you don’t want. You don’t farm, so I have to farm. You want to live at the foot of the mountain, so I have to stay in the new village. You’re busy and have no time to marry, so I have to marry first. When you help your brothers and maintain relationships, she praises you for being capable. When I treat people to a meal, she scolds me for not knowing how to live properly. Whatever you do is right; whatever I do is wrong. She’s never liked me.”
Li Feng didn’t argue.
When their eyes met earlier, he had already seen the look in Ertian’s eyes—shock and panic.
Shock that he was still alive, panic over everything he had said. His gaze had darted away as he forced himself back into calmness.
Like many times before, he knew he was wrong—but as long as he refused to admit it, then in his mind, he wasn’t wrong.
On the way here, he had finally convinced himself—he had done nothing wrong. And now he said it out loud, telling Li Feng exactly that.
Outside the safety hut, Li Feng took off his clothes, wrung out the water, then went inside, lit a fire, and hung them up to dry.
Ertian sat nearby with his shoulders hunched, glancing at Li Feng, then at the fire. He also took off his clothes to dry.
Bare-chested, speaking from the heart.
Through the flickering flames, Li Feng looked at him and said calmly:
“When does a person truly grow up? When Shun-ge held back his playful nature, gave up an easy, carefree life, and stayed home to help support the family—Mother said he had grown up.
“When I kept clashing with others over partnerships, and after thinking it through, decided to venture deep into the mountains to carve out a hunting ground—Mother said I had grown up too.
“When you told Mother you wanted to marry, insisted on marrying Wang Dongmei—she said you had grown up, that you knew how to express your own thoughts and fight for what you wanted.
“On the day of your betrothal, she told me the two of us brothers were very alike—both stubborn as oxen.”
Ertian said nothing, his eyes fixed only on the small flame before him.
Li Feng continued:
“Mother’s definition of growing up is when we no longer need to follow her arrangements or rely on her guidance to live our lives—when we can make our own choices and bear the consequences ourselves.”
