“…Hating me, resenting Mother—that’s your choice. However you treat me, I have nothing to say. But I won’t allow you to twist things about Mother like that.”
“A person only has one heart. It’s true she worries about me the most, cares about me the most—but she’s also most concerned about you. You know in your heart how much trouble she’s endured from you. She’s afraid I’ll die in the mountains, afraid that with a family like ours, it’ll be hard for Shun-ge to find a match in the future. Shun-ge started working when he was very young—she taught him hand by hand. She has a fiery temper, yet she taught him to be kind.
“As for you, she often says you’re obedient, that you’re sensible. You say she doesn’t see you, doesn’t care about you—but I’ve often heard her say she feels at ease because of you. When she chats with others, she says the same—she says I’m not attached to home, that Shun-ge will marry out one day, and that in the future she’ll rely on you. With a son like you by her side, she feels secure.”
Because she spoke of Ertian that way, once he grew a little older, Li Feng dared to stay in the mountains for months without coming down. The household had someone to manage it, the family had someone to uphold it—he could hunt in peace.
Their mother used to say children were a burden, that having them got in the way of things. But in those later years, when Li Feng came down from the mountain, she had changed her words. She said each of her three sons had their own strengths.
Li Feng heard Ertian begin to sob. He lowered his head, stirred the fire a little, and said nothing more.
Ertian called him “Big Brother.” After a while, he couldn’t hold it in any longer, crying out again and again, “I was wrong… I know I was wrong…”
He had never truly grown up. As a child, he cried and made a fuss; as an adult, he caused trouble—seeking attention through self-destruction.
Everything in the family—he had seen it all. He knew it all. After splitting off to live on his own, he understood even more of the hardship. Yet he still wanted a clear answer—something definite.
Li Feng said, “There are people in this world who don’t want you to live well—but it’s not me, and it’s not Mother.”
That was Ertian’s last day on the mountain. The next day, Li Feng took him to Daqiang’s hunting grounds, found Daqiang while he was harvesting honey, and had him arrange for someone to escort Ertian down the mountain.
Li Feng stayed behind in the mountains with Erhuang. They slept with the land as their bed, resting under the open sky.
The forest in winter was quiet—few cries of animals, only the wind passing through the trees, producing a low, whistling sound.
They walked and rested, observing quietly, wandering without a set destination.
The creatures of this mountain had taught him much. For survival, each had its own strengths and weaknesses.
The powerful beasts reproduced with difficulty; the weaker ones thrived in numbers.
Some excelled at running, some lived in groups. Some climbed trees, some burrowed underground. Some carried venom, some bore spines.
Li Feng wanted to be like the powerful beasts—few in number, but all elite.
But he had come down from the mountain. In this new “forest,” the most numerous were people—his own kind.
He had to be like a wolf—leading his pack to grow and prosper.
Erhuang could sense his mood. As they walked, it pressed close against his leg, its large tail swaying, occasionally brushing against Li Feng’s fingers.
It was a hunting dog. Even without hunting, the stronghold gave it plenty of space to run. Back in the mountains, it still kept its old habits—rarely barking, even its low rumbling sounds kept subdued.
Li Feng crouched and patted its head. Erhuang leaned forward and licked his face.
Li Feng thought that if his two children could be even half as sensible and considerate as his dog, he would wake up laughing from his dreams.
That day, he ended his journey in the western mountains and went down to take his leave.
Yao Fulang proved very capable. Having grown familiar with Sun Fulang, the rest of the arrangements no longer required Li Feng’s involvement. The progress of the honey workshop would be passed along to the prefectural city through those delivering goods.
He distributed the gifts he had brought back according to a list—expressing his mother’s homesickness.
He then visited the village head again. When the matter of Ertian came up, Li Feng felt complicated.
He could study the habits of prey, but he found it hard to understand a person’s heart. That a brother he had grown up with could harbor such deep resentment—it sent a chill down his spine.
He didn’t know whether Ertian might relapse, so he asked the village head to keep an eye on him.
“That child is still too young. Once the honey workshop is built, assign Wang Dongmei some work.”
The village head agreed to help look after things. “People are hard to deal with—there’s no absolute right or wrong. If he didn’t resent you at that moment, then it’s settled. People change—what happens later can be dealt with later.”
Li Feng stood and gave a deep bow, as a junior would.
This return to the stronghold had brought him much. Before leaving, he went to visit his father’s grave.
The grave was clean, with fresh soil added—it looked like Ertian had been there.
Li Feng burned paper offerings and added soil to the mound as well.
He stayed there for a while, talking about things in the prefectural city.
“Mother is doing well. Shun-ge is preparing to take in a husband. Mother has taken a liking to a broker. My fulang and Mother have been consulting many matchmakers—even official ones. They say by the end of the year, there will be meetings. Mother wants to see them first before deciding. I quite like that broker—he’s capable, smart, eager to learn. His background isn’t good, so he’s easier to manage. His temperament is decent too—he’ll be able to tolerate Shun-ge’s temper. Better than a man full of bad habits.”
He said little about his own life with Lu Liu, only briefly mentioning the changes in Sanshui Alley.
After that, he fell into a long silence.
He did not bring up Ertian. With that, the visit was over.
After leaving Li Village, he went to Chenjia Bay and visited his maternal uncle.
The gifts he brought were generous—fabric, cotton clothes, boots, and several bricks of fine tea, enough to last for years.
Li Feng stayed one night in Chenjia Bay, chatting about many things. He also heard about Chen Lao-yao—the couple’s life was a mess, always scrambling for whatever they lacked, irritating the entire village.
After asking around, Li Feng suddenly found himself admiring Lu Yang.
When it came to handling people, Lu Yang was far more experienced. The Chen family all had their lives settled. Even though Chen Lao-yao wasn’t doing well, he had a father and brother in the city, and a tofu workshop at home—he wouldn’t go bothering Lu Yang, who had already married out. Unlike Li Feng, who was nearly driven to despair by just one Ertian.
Ertian was his brother. Chen Jiu was also his brother.
The next day, he went to the county town. Li Feng stopped by the shop, had a drink with Sanmiao and Wang Meng, then went to the workshop to see Chen Jiu.
Chen Jiu and Wang Meng lived at the workshop. There were many empty rooms, serving both as storage and living space. Few people came to rest there. When groups of men traveled together, unless they missed the timing, they usually went straight out of the city and back home.
The workshop was tidy and clean. In the courtyard, some dried mushrooms and medicinal herbs were laid out. Under the eaves, there was a small wooden rocking horse and a low table with a few toys on it.
Chen Jiu was usually at home. Life there was similar to the stronghold—cleaning inside and out, cooking three meals a day, caring for the child, doing some sewing—the days passed quickly.
Occasionally, when he had time, he would visit others. He liked going to see Lu Lin. Lu Lin had a gentle temperament, never argued with him, and knew a lot. Even as a head shopkeeper in the county, he never looked down on Chen Jiu, and often taught him things.
Since the place had been converted from a workshop, meals and tea were taken indoors—either sitting on the kang bed or in the front hall. The hall was cold, and since they were family, they usually stayed in the room, sitting on the kang.
Seeing that Chen Jiu had lost the combative edge in his expression, Li Feng asked if he was adjusting well to life in the city.
Chen Jiu said, “It’s alright. Things are more convenient here. I don’t have anyone to help with the child, and Wang Meng is often out, so I don’t have much free time. I don’t have the energy to think about anything else, so I feel more at ease.”
He had heard about the prefectural city from Wang Meng. Seeing Li Feng, he asked about many people, and only later brought up Lu Liu.
Li Feng couldn’t help but laugh. Seeing him laugh, Chen Jiu frowned slightly, but didn’t withdraw the question.
Li Feng told him about what Lu Liu had been doing—running a small food shop, continuing to learn, full of drive, becoming more confident and determined.
Just listening made Chen Jiu feel tired. “Good thing your aunt went too. Forget the child—even just three horses and two dogs would take forever to manage. Then there’s cooking three meals a day, gathering firewood, cleaning the animal pens, washing clothes, sweeping the house—it’s nonstop.”
He added, “You’re lucky you married him. If it were someone else, who’d take care of all that?”
Li Feng: “…”
It seemed like he had changed—and yet, not really.
Wang Meng was holding back laughter nearby, but Chen Jiu shot him a glare. “No sense at all—standing there forever without serving tea, not even taking the child. What, do you expect me to hold the baby and serve tea at the same time? Should I cook you a few dishes too?”
