Ren Yi had been hospitalized for so long that he was starting to feel embarrassed about it himself. Especially when the doctors and nurses scolded him, he didn’t dare talk back at all. He obediently cooperated with all the examinations and treatments.
After returning to the hospital, Ren Yi learned that his troubles had been resolved and the police officers assigned to keep watch over him had also been withdrawn. He had no idea what kind of storm was currently raging at Hongwu Precinct, but he could easily imagine how Captain Zhao and Zheng Pei, the newcomer who had parachuted into the position, would be fighting it out. Wasn’t he just one of the pawns in their game?
Over the past two days, he’d figured out a lot of things. It turned out that without his knowledge, he’d been helping them put on a show. Huang Yan had been arrested long ago. Gong Yingxian had taken advantage of the fact that members of the X Cult rarely met one another in person, arranging for a colleague to go undercover. The whole act had begun at the hotel. Using White Flame as bait, they’d lured Purple Flame, the big fish who had always kept himself hidden, into the open. At the same time, they’d deliberately exposed weaknesses in their own operation, enticing those who had been secretly obstructing their efforts to reopen the case to strike amid the chaos. This also allowed Gong Yingxian and Qiu Yan to carry out all kinds of covert work without being restricted by the police force’s rules and regulations. It was truly three birds with one stone.
When the truth finally came out, everything could be explained as necessary measures taken in the course of an investigation. The operation had ultimately yielded impressive results, and supposedly, they’d even arrested several illegal members of the Seraphim organization operating within China. Even if some aspects of the investigation had violated procedure, the merits of the operation could make up for those mistakes. How much could the higher-ups really hold against them?
Gong Yingxian had calculated everything from beginning to end. The one thing he probably hadn’t accounted for was Ren Yi’s stubbornness. Ren Yi had insisted on following Yue Xingu to the hotel, and he’d also insisted on following Gong Yingxian to the warehouse. So Gong Yingxian had simply taken advantage of the situation and incorporated him into the plan.
Gong Yingxian didn’t seem to have done anything wrong. As a police officer, maintaining confidentiality was also part of his duty. So was Ren Yi simply out of luck? Of all the people in the world, he’d happened to get dragged into this incident. Of all the people involved, he’d happened to have reasons he couldn’t ignore for helping Gong Yingxian, whether for Gong Yingxian himself, for Gong Feilan, for his brothers, or for the sake of justice. And, as it turned out, he’d happened to be useful.
Ren Yi felt utterly ridiculous. Every time he tried to place his complete trust in Gong Yingxian, he discovered that Gong Yingxian had never trusted him in return. As long as there was a sufficiently valid reason, Ren Yi’s feelings were insignificant in Gong Yingxian’s eyes—or at the very least, they were something he could sacrifice.
He didn’t know whether Gong Yingxian could even imagine what it felt like to be betrayed by the person you loved most while simultaneously carrying the guilt of having caused your own friend’s death. Gong Yingxian hadn’t cared about pushing him into that kind of darkness. Afterwards, he’d simply pulled Ren Yi back out as if nothing had happened and told him, “I was lying to you.”
There were plenty of other things Ren Yi still couldn’t understand, but he no longer wanted to think about them. He’d once believed that this case was closely connected to him because he loved Gong Yingxian, and because it was the same case his father had participated in rescuing people from all those years ago. Gradually, he’d come to feel that Gong Yingxian’s mission had become his own. He had to help Gong Yingxian catch the culprit and uncover the truth.
But now that he’d come to his senses, he realized he’d truly been brainwashed. What did this case have to do with him? Gong Yingxian had used him to investigate while keeping him in the dark at every turn. Once he’d served his purpose, he was discarded. Even Gong Yingxian understood that this case really had very little to do with Ren Yi.
So Ren Yi no longer wanted to waste his energy thinking about those unanswered questions. He needed to recover from his injuries as quickly as possible. He still wanted to return to his squad.
But although he kept telling himself not to think about the case, he couldn’t stop thinking about everything that had happened between him and Gong Yingxian. Their sweet memories were engraved deep in his soul, and he was afraid they would never be erased, not even in a lifetime. At the same time, what had happened over the past few days was something he would never forget, either. These contradictory thoughts twisted and tangled inside his chest, over and over. He felt he had never been this heartbroken before, as though all the warmth and passion in his heart had been plunged headfirst into icy water, where no amount of effort could ever warm it again.
Ren Yi had turned away everyone who came to visit him over the past few days. Whether it was Gong Yingxian, Qu Yangbo, or anyone else, he didn’t want to see a single person. He needed to give himself some time to carefully craft a mask before he could face the world again.
Several days later, the doctor finally approved Ren Yi’s discharge, and Qu Yangbo came to pick him up.
When they first saw each other, both felt a little awkward. Then, seeing the awkwardness on each other’s faces struck them as funny, and before long, they couldn’t help laughing at each other.
That single laugh immediately brought back their familiar rapport, and both secretly breathed a sigh of relief.
Qu Yangbo teased him, “Did you get a membership card at Hongwu Hospital?”
“Yeah. Supreme Diamond VIP. Stay ten days, get two free.”
Qu Yangbo laughed and cursed, “Go to hell, you fucking idiot. You don’t give a damn about your own life.”
“What do you mean I don’t care about my life? I care about it very much.” Ren Yi threw an arm around Qu Yangbo’s shoulders. “I won’t be able to rest in peace until I’ve seen you get married and have kids. Your old man here can’t die yet.”
Qu Yangbo pretended to jab Ren Yi in the chin with his fist. “You’re just taking advantage of the fact that I can’t hit you right now. Don’t worry. I’m keeping track of this beating, and you’ll get it later.”
Qu Yangbo carried Ren Yi’s luggage as they left the hospital room. All the discharge procedures had been completed, and they headed straight for the parking lot. But before they had even made it out of the hospital entrance, they spotted the tall figure waiting outside.
Amid the endless stream of people hurrying through the hospital, that man possessed a face of almost divine beauty. He stood there with a composure and steadiness that seemed entirely out of place in this world, waiting for them.
Just seeing Gong Yingxian made Ren Yi’s heart ache. At the same time, a strange thought surfaced in his mind: This is the real Gong Yingxian.
Always immaculate, elegant, and seemingly untouched by the mundane world. The man covered in blood, disheveled and filthy, couldn’t possibly have been Gong Yingxian, could he? It really hadn’t been easy for Gong Yingxian to go so far just to keep up the act.
When Gong Yingxian saw Ren Yi, he removed his mask and walked toward them.
Qu Yangbo sighed. He was getting rather tired of the endless entanglements between the two of them. “How about I wait for you in the car?”
“No need,” Ren Yi said. “Let’s go. I want to get back to the squad as soon as possible.”
There was a hint of unease in Gong Yingxian’s expression. He said quietly, “Ren Yi, let me take you back.”
“No, thanks.” Ren Yi was perfectly calm, showing neither anger nor resentment, as though nothing that had happened before had ever taken place. He spoke to Gong Yingxian as he would to an acquaintance. “Someone’s already here to pick me up.”
“I want to talk to you. There are a lot of things I need to explain.”
Gong Yingxian’s eyes were deep as the sea and brilliant as the stars. They were filled with nothing but Ren Yi.
“No need.” Ren Yi still didn’t look him directly in the eyes, merely glancing at him briefly. “I understand. Investigating a case isn’t easy. I hope you manage to catch Purple Flame soon.” He nudged Qu Yangbo. “Let’s go.”
Gong Yingxian grabbed Ren Yi by the arm.
He had imagined countless possible reactions Ren Yi might have when facing him. Perhaps Ren Yi would be furious, or perhaps he’d be cold and hard, just as he’d been the last time. But not this. Not this indifference, as though nothing between them had ever happened—not the good, not the bad. That frightened Gong Yingxian even more.
Ren Yi glanced at the hand gripping his arm and said quietly, “I’ve only just been discharged. I’m still not feeling very well, and I want to get back to the squad as soon as possible. Whatever it is, we can talk another time.”
Gong Yingxian felt as though something were lodged in his throat. Slowly, very slowly, he loosened his grip.
Ren Yi took Qu Yangbo with him and headed for the parking lot.
Once they were in the car, Qu Yangbo sneaked a glance at Ren Yi.
Ren Yi laughed. “What the fuck are you looking at? Drive.”
Qu Yangbo started the car. “Ren Yi, has anyone ever told you that you’re not very good at hiding your emotions?”
“Yeah.” Ren Yi nodded. “Funny enough, someone just told me a few days ago that I’m no good at lying, either. Most of the time, whatever I’m thinking is written all over my face.”
Which was why everything had to be kept from him, for fear that he’d let something slip. He was rather puzzled by that. Was there really no better way to handle things?
“Then I’ll be blunt,” Qu Yangbo said helplessly. “You look miserable. You’ve lost a lot of weight, and your complexion is terrible. Even if you pretend you’re fine, we can all tell at a glance that you’re doing badly.”
Ren Yi scoffed. “I’m a patient. Can’t you be a little gentler with me?”
“I’m only saying this because I want you to know that you really don’t need to put on an act around me. You’ve been through so much lately. Anyone would be on the verge of breaking down. There’s nothing shameful about feeling depressed or heartbroken. All that matters is that you get back on your feet.”
“I know.”
“That ‘I know’ of yours sounds awfully perfunctory.” Qu Yangbo shook his head. “I don’t know exactly what happened between you and Gong Yingxian, but I can more or less guess. I don’t want to talk you into anything, either, because the most important thing right now is for you to recover physically and then show that you’re ready to get back to work. Captain Chen is currently working on arranging for you to attend a training course for six months. By the time you return, your suspension should be over, and you’ll be able to resume your duties. That’s what matters most. As for Gong Yingxian, if being with him is too exhausting, then just… let it go. Trust me, the next one will be better.”
Ren Yi was silent for a long while before saying softly, “It really is exhausting. The two of us are from completely different worlds. Our personalities are too different.”
“You’re only figuring that out now?”
“I used to think that as long as we loved each other, there wouldn’t be any problem we couldn’t solve. Now I don’t dare think that way anymore. There are some things… I really…” Ren Yi looked out the window and sighed. “I don’t even know how to put it.”
“Say it if you want to. If you don’t, then don’t.” Qu Yangbo looked steadily at Ren Yi. “The point is, the squad needs you. The guys need you. I need you. You have to come back.”
Ren Yi’s eyes grew hot. To hide it, he lowered his head and smiled. “I knew you guys couldn’t manage without me. Of course I’m coming back. I’ll do whatever it takes to return. If the higher-ups kick me out, I’ll apply for a job as the squad’s cook.”
Qu Yangbo burst out laughing. “Who’d dare eat anything you cooked?”
“What’s wrong with my cooking? I’m pretty good at it.”
After joking around for a while, the two finally arrived back at the squad.
Before getting out of the car, Ren Yi received a message. He opened it and saw that it was from Gong Yingxian. It contained just a few restrained words:
Ren Yi, face me.
Ren Yi’s heart tightened. He put away his phone and looked up at the squad’s entrance.
He hadn’t been back for a month. He’d never taken such a long leave in his life—though, of course, this time it had been involuntary. Ever since joining the squad, he’d never been away for more than ten days. Now that he was finally returning after so long, he felt an unexpected nervousness, like someone returning home after a long absence.
He knew full well how much turmoil he’d brought to the squad, and he felt guilty toward them.
Qu Yangbo patted him on the back, both urging him forward and encouraging him. “Come on.”
The two got out of the car. The training ground was completely empty. At this time of day, weren’t they usually out doing morning exercises?
Ren Yi had a feeling that something was up, so he followed Qu Yangbo into the dormitory building.
A burst of cheers suddenly erupted.
There were two doors on either side of the dormitory building’s entrance hall: one leading to the reception room, the other to the garage. All the squad members came pouring out through both doors, holding flowers, colorful flags, and balloons, surrounding Ren Yi as they called out to him from every direction.
“Captain!”
Ren Yi laughed. “You’re all doing this useless stuff again.”
“You look pretty happy to me. Stop pretending,” Ding Qing teased.
“Exactly! Your mouth’s practically stretched from ear to ear.”
“That’s because my face is injured,” Ren Yi said sadly.
The people around him immediately fell silent, the awkwardness almost unbearable.
Ren Yi burst out laughing. “I’m messing with you! The last thing I’d ever injure is my face. Even Heaven itself can’t bear to see this handsome face of mine get hurt! Hahahaha!”
Everyone burst into laughter and commotion again.
Gao Ge shouted, “Captain Ren is back!”
“Captain Ren is back!”
The firefighters roared and shouted, making no attempt to hide their heartfelt joy. Ren Yi was deeply moved. He stole a glance at Qu Yangbo, who returned a firm, reassuring look.
He was back.
This was where he belonged. This was his home.
No matter how much he had to pay for his mistakes, no matter how many punishments he had to accept, he would never leave again.