At that moment, Ren Yi wished he could simply disappear on the spot.
This was not the first time Gong Yingxian had said something shocking. He often said things that made people burn with embarrassment despite being completely at odds with his cold, icy exterior. It was probably because Gong Yingxian did not care about his social rating, so he simply said whatever he wanted to say, then threw the problem onto someone else.
Ren Yi was suffering in silence. He could not even figure out what he was supposed to say right now.
Gong Yingxian refused to let the matter go and stared at Ren Yi. “Why don’t you dare look at me? Does this make you uncomfortable?” He deliberately tugged at his bathrobe.
Ren Yi instinctively took a step backward. “What exactly are you trying to say?”
“I’ve always been saying what I want to say.” Gong Yingxian stared straight at Ren Yi, giving him no chance to catch his breath. “Have you ever fantasized about it?”
Ren Yi became angry from embarrassment. “What’s the point of asking me a question like that? Do you want to humiliate me?”
“I have the right to know about things that concern me. You kept it from me before. Don’t you think you owe me some truth now?” Gong Yingxian narrowed his eyes slightly. “Don’t lie to me again.”
Ren Yi irritably raked a hand over his short stubble of hair, still unable to say it.
Could he say no? A lie like that would be completely unconvincing in the world of adults.
Could he say yes? He did not dare imagine what kind of reaction Gong Yingxian would have.
So Ren Yi did something rather cowardly. He decided to escape.
“I don’t want to discuss this kind of thing. Get some rest.”
With that, he strode toward the door.
His hand had just touched the doorknob when he felt the wind move behind him. Then the door he had just opened was forcefully pushed back by a large hand.
Bang.
It slammed firmly shut.
Ren Yi’s heart immediately began pounding faster. Out of the corner of his eye, he glanced at the hand that had reached across beside him and was pressed against the door.
The five fingers were pale, long, and slender, the nails smooth and clean. It looked like a beautiful hand suited only for holding a brush and writing, yet in reality, its aim with a gun was frighteningly accurate and its strength astonishing.
He noticed that the four knuckles of the hand were not as clearly raised and indented as an ordinary person’s.
Those were the deformed joints caused by years of boxing.
Sometimes, when Gong Yingxian was angry, Ren Yi was genuinely a little afraid of him.
Like now.
He could feel Gong Yingxian standing behind him. He could also feel the warmth of his breath against the back of his neck. Just from the rapid rhythm of his breathing, Ren Yi could sense Gong Yingxian’s anger.
So he did not dare move at all.
Gong Yingxian placed his other hand against the door as well, trapping Ren Yi between his two arms and his tall body.
He leaned close to Ren Yi’s ear and whispered, “Trying to run?”
Ren Yi’s heart jolted.
“Answer my question.”
Ren Yi took a deep breath. “A normal man might have thoughts when he sees a beautiful woman. It could simply be an instinctive reaction. It doesn’t mean he’ll actually do anything.”
“So you did.”
Standing behind him, Gong Yingxian watched Ren Yi’s ears turn completely red. His heart felt as though a tiny claw were gently scratching at it. He brushed his lips against the earlobe almost imperceptibly.
“Turn around.”
Ren Yi’s palms were sweating from nervousness.
“I said, turn. Around.”
Gong Yingxian’s tone was commanding.
Ren Yi closed his eyes for a moment and resigned himself to his fate. He slowly turned around.
As he turned sideways, he had already tried his best to shrink backward, but he still inevitably brushed against Gong Yingxian’s body.
Ren Yi forced himself to calm down and gathered the courage to look directly into Gong Yingxian’s eyes.
The meaning hidden in those eyes was something he could not understand at all.
“What kind of fantasies?” Gong Yingxian continued asking.
Ren Yi felt as though his head were about to explode. He gritted his teeth.
“I don’t remember!”
“Were they the same as what you did with Qi Xiao?”
“I don’t know. I don’t remember…”
Ren Yi felt utterly unable to defend himself.
“Did you fantasize about me kissing you? Holding you? And you and me…”
“Enough!”
Ren Yi reached out, trying to push Gong Yingxian away.
Gong Yingxian seized his wrist in one motion and pinned it against the door. His eyes bore straight into the depths of Ren Yi’s, sharp as a beast’s.
He said coldly, “Didn’t you say you had no feelings for me at all? How many more lies are you going to tell?”
Ren Yi roared, “What are you trying to prove, Gong Yingxian? That I really have disgusting, perverted thoughts about you? I already told you, those were nothing but instincts! Instincts! You’re a man too. When you wake up in the morning and have a reaction, are you having thoughts about the air? I’m telling you, I don’t like you. I’ve always liked someone like Qi Xiao. You don’t have to worry about me having improper intentions toward you, and you certainly don’t have to worry about me harassing you. Don’t you think you’re being way, way too self-important?!”
After shouting everything in one breath, Ren Yi’s entire chest trembled.
His body was ice-cold, as though all the blood had been drained from him in an instant.
Even after he had managed to turn the tables on Gong Yingxian like this, he felt no joy at winning.
He only felt that he was both pathetic and ridiculous.
He did not even understand whether he was forcing himself to argue like this for the sake of that “friendship” that could no longer be maintained, or for the little dignity he had left in front of Gong Yingxian.
What exactly was he trying to achieve?
What hope was he still holding onto?
If his final bottom line was simply that Gong Yingxian not hate him, then after saying these words, that bottom line had probably been shattered too.
Gong Yingxian’s expression visibly darkened.
His gaze grew increasingly cold, and his expression became even more ruthless.
He said softly, “Fine. Very good. I was being self-important.”
He gritted his teeth as he said the words “being self-important,” feeling as though every single word were a knife stabbing into his heart.
Ren Yi sucked in a breath, filled with regret.
“I—I didn’t mean that. I…”
“I just wanted to confirm it. To confirm that you didn’t have any feelings for me that you shouldn’t have.”
Gong Yingxian’s eyes were filled with icy light.
“After all, you used to say we were friends while secretly keeping so many things from me.”
Ren Yi clenched his fists and said hoarsely, “Can you rest easy now?”
“Rest easy.”
Gong Yingxian smiled instead of getting angry.
That smile made Ren Yi’s hair stand on end.
“You can let me go now, right?” Ren Yi said quietly. “Captain Qiu should be arriving soon. We still have serious business to deal with.”
Gong Yingxian did not release him.
He bent slightly, bringing his eyes level with Ren Yi’s.
“I’m a little curious.”
“…Curious about what?”
“Most people say that thing feels very good.”
Ren Yi understood what he meant.
“I thought you were very opposed to…”
“Why should I be opposed to sex? Sex is a means of reproduction. Like eating and sleeping, it is an animal instinct. Sex is also an indispensable part of studying criminal psychology. What I am opposed to is people.”
Ren Yi could not understand him anymore.
He had no idea what Gong Yingxian intended by saying this.
“Given that…”
Gong Yingxian stared into Ren Yi’s eyes. Both his gaze and his tone carried an icy ruthlessness.
“You happen to have a body that I’m not opposed to. I want to try it.”
Ren Yi’s eyes widened.
His mind went completely blank from shock.
What was Gong Yingxian saying?
What was he saying?!
“What? You’ve fantasized about it too, haven’t you?”
Gong Yingxian sneered.
“Did you think lying would come without a price? This is what you owe me.”
Ren Yi’s voice trembled.
“You—you want to…”
“You don’t like me, and I won’t like you either. That makes things much simpler. I’m a man. I just want to know what it feels like.”
Ren Yi’s heart clenched painfully.
If Gong Yingxian had made this request a few months earlier, Ren Yi might have been very happy.
But now he could not.
When you truly loved someone, mutual feelings were the ultimate faith.
But Gong Yingxian would not love him.
Was it his fault that Gong Yingxian had developed such a thought?
He remembered what Qiu Yan had said.
Had he used the identity of a friend to give Gong Yingxian the wrong guidance?
What had he done?
Why had things become like this?!
Gong Yingxian’s eyes were bloodshot.
Ren Yi blurred and sharpened in his vision, then blurred and sharpened again, over and over, until his head throbbed violently.
He had already been provoked and wounded, but he had hidden it away.
He wanted Ren Yi too badly.
As long as he could possess Ren Yi, whatever it was, however much of it he could have, he wanted it.
Even if Ren Yi clearly told him that he did not like him, he still wanted him desperately, almost insanely.
Ren Yi nodded.
“Okay.”
He tugged at the corners of his mouth and forced out a careless smile.
“What’s the problem? I’ll let you… try.”
Gong Yingxian said expressionlessly, “Even when you had a boyfriend, you could still flirt ambiguously with someone else. For you, this really isn’t a problem.”
Ren Yi gave a mocking laugh. He no longer had the strength to argue.
“Welcome to the adult world.”
Gong Yingxian released Ren Yi.
Ren Yi wiped a hand across his face, turned around, opened the door, and left.
Gong Yingxian stood frozen in front of the door for a long time.
Then, suddenly, he swung his fist and smashed it into the door.
A deep dent was left in the thick solid-wood door, and splinters of wood scraped bloody streaks across Gong Yingxian’s hand.
==
By the time Qiu Yan arrived, it was already very late.
When the three of them gathered in the study filled with evidence, each person had put on a calm mask.
Qiu Yan calmly greeted Ren Yi.
Ren Yi calmly met Gong Yingxian’s gaze.
Even though he noticed the gauze wrapped around Gong Yingxian’s hand, he suppressed his habitual concern.
Everything seemed perfectly calm.
Who could possibly see the violent undercurrents surging beneath the surface of the others?