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Chapter 33

This entry is part 33 of 33 in the series Hard to Say What I Want

When Xu Ze stood between Lu Heyang’s legs, he still had a mouthful of ice cream in his mouth.

He was too nervous, and because he remembered that he shouldn’t waste food, he swallowed the last bite before getting up.

He felt that, in Lu Heyang’s eyes, he probably looked like the kind of alpha who took advantage of an omega when they were in heat.

Because Lu Heyang had been watching him with an assessing gaze the entire time.

Xu Ze didn’t dare raise his head.

“Can I borrow your bracelet?”

Xu Ze knelt on one knee in front of Lu Heyang, lowered his head, and asked.

Lu Heyang didn’t answer.

He straightened up, removed the bracelet, then took Xu Ze’s hand and put it onto his wrist for him.

Xu Ze lowered his other knee as well, kneeling completely.

Something heavy settled on top of his head. It was Lu Heyang’s hand.

Xu Ze thought Lu Heyang had finally come to his senses and was about to push him away. But Lu Heyang merely slipped his fingers into Xu Ze’s hair, his fingertips gently rubbing against his scalp.

A wave of tingling immediately traveled down Xu Ze’s spine.

He didn’t understand why Lu Heyang hadn’t refused him, but there were far more things in this world that he couldn’t understand than just this one.

Xu Ze gave up trying to figure it out.

Besides, he never seemed to have much ability to think whenever he was in front of Lu Heyang.

Lu Heyang seemed to look at him for several seconds before reaching out and pulling three tissues from the box, wiping the stuff off Xu Ze’s face.

“The second chance…”

Xu Ze suddenly murmured as if speaking to himself.

“I used it.”

His lips were slightly swollen, carrying a redness they normally didn’t have, and the bruise at the corner of his mouth still hadn’t faded.

Lu Heyang leaned down toward him.

Just as he was about to kiss Xu Ze on the lips, he turned his head slightly and kissed Xu Ze’s right cheek instead.

“This one doesn’t count,” Lu Heyang said.

They were very close.

There was no particularly obvious emotion in Lu Heyang’s eyes, only a certain heaviness to his gaze. His kiss felt like a reward, yet also like comfort. In any case, it wasn’t intimacy or affection.

He said this one didn’t count toward the three chances.

Xu Ze didn’t react for a moment. He only felt Lu Heyang’s hand slide down along his waist.

Xu Ze reacted very quickly to that.

He immediately caught Lu Heyang’s hand.

“You don’t have to,” Xu Ze said, looking awkward and embarrassed. “I’m fine.”

Lu Heyang withdrew his hand.

Then, with an unreadable expression, he lightly patted Xu Ze’s cheek.

“Go wash up.”

After rinsing himself with water for a while, Xu Ze was much more clear-headed.

He raised a hand and wiped the water from his face.

A chill suddenly touched his lower back.

Lu Heyang was pulling his shirt upward.

Xu Ze didn’t understand what he was doing, but he still raised his arms and let Lu Heyang take the shirt off.

“Change into this.”

Lu Heyang hung a white T-shirt over Xu Ze’s shoulder.

Standing behind Xu Ze, he met his eyes through the mirror.

“Your clothes are dirty.”

Xu Ze had been wearing a black T-shirt, so the stains on it were especially obvious.

He changed into the clean shirt, then took his own T-shirt from Lu Heyang’s hand and said quietly,

“I’ll take it back and wash it.”

He was always slow to realize things.

Slow to realize that he should have left the room with He Wei.

Slow to realize that he should be ashamed and disgusted with himself for having taken the initiative.

Not once was he able to react in time.

The two of them stood facing each other.

Lu Heyang said nothing.

They could hear each other’s breathing.

Xu Ze absolutely couldn’t endure being in a situation like this.

He moved one step toward the door.

“I’m going back to my room.”

Lu Heyang held out his hand, palm facing upward.

Xu Ze didn’t understand what he meant. He looked up at Lu Heyang, who finally said,

“The bracelet.”

“…”

Xu Ze immediately removed the bracelet and placed it in Lu Heyang’s hand.

Without the restraint of Lu Heyang’s bracelet, Xu Ze’s own bracelet suddenly seemed especially useless.

It could neither suppress Xu Ze’s pheromones nor block Lu Heyang’s.

The pheromones of the two alphas spread through the bathroom, clashing and suppressing one another.

Before the two of them could potentially start fighting, Xu Ze hurriedly grabbed his clothes and left Lu Heyang’s room.

The next morning, Xu Ze woke up very early because he had barely slept all night.

After returning to his room the previous night, he had even completed two practice exams, but still couldn’t calm himself down. Whenever he lay in bed and remembered what he had done, he simply couldn’t fall asleep.

Lu Heyang’s shirt was clean, carrying the faint, fresh scent of laundry detergent.

After waking up, Xu Ze didn’t get out of bed immediately.

He lay on his side, pulled up the hem of the shirt, and buried his face in it, quietly inhaling the scent.

He felt that he had completely turned into a pervert.

He had mistaken Lu Heyang’s politeness for indulgence, acting on impulse without considering the consequences.

After washing up, Xu Ze painstakingly prepared himself mentally before opening his door and going downstairs for breakfast.

Most of the others had already arrived, and the teacher was eating breakfast as well.

She waved at Xu Ze.

“Xu Ze, there’s an empty seat at that table.”

Xu Ze followed the direction she pointed.

He immediately became speechless and could only mechanically nod.

The teacher was pointing to Lu Heyang’s table.

And the empty seat was right beside Lu Heyang.

When Xu Ze reached the table, He Wei said while eating,

“Xu Ze, you look really expensive today.”

His eyes were sharp, and he immediately noticed that it was because of the clothes.

He grabbed Xu Ze, but he couldn’t find anything unusual about the plain white T-shirt. So He Wei lifted the hem slightly to look at the side label.

“This is the brand Heyang wears all the time.”

He Wei muttered, “That doesn’t make sense…”

As he spoke, he turned to look at Lu Heyang.

Lu Heyang took a sip of milk and said,

“He got ice cream on his clothes yesterday, so I lent him mine.”

“Oh, that’s all.”

He Wei didn’t suspect anything.

But Xu Ze’s mind had already been thrown into complete chaos by that simple sentence from Lu Heyang.

He felt both ashamed and embarrassed.

Lu Heyang had only kindly given him an explanation.

But Xu Ze himself maliciously connected it to what had happened the night before, twisting the innocent statement into something suggestive.

While Xu Ze was reflecting on himself like this, he was eating breakfast.

He had no mind to drink his milk and ended up choking on his food quite easily.

Xu Ze immediately grabbed a tissue, covered his mouth, and coughed twice toward the back.

When he turned around, he saw that Lu Heyang had pushed the milk toward him.

Xu Ze was just about to say thank you when Lu Heyang commented,

“Your throat is so shallow.”

Xu Ze choked even harder.

After breakfast, everyone returned to their rooms to pack their things.

Xu Ze went downstairs first.

He rarely competed with anyone over anything, but this time he deliberately walked ahead and boarded the bus first, finding a seat in the second row.

Lu Heyang and He Wei were among the last few to board.

When they saw Xu Ze sitting in the second row, He Wei said,

“Oh?”

“Xu Ze, want to sit in the back with us?”

He was still extremely enthusiastic about introducing Xu Ze to a cute omega.

Xu Ze looked up.

The first thing he encountered was Lu Heyang’s gaze.

Like he had been shocked by electricity, Xu Ze immediately lowered his head again.

“It’s okay. I’ll sit here.”

“Okay, then.”

He Wei said it reluctantly.

Not long after the bus started moving, Xu Ze fell asleep.

By the time they reached the entrance of the Preparatory School, it was almost noon.

Xu Ze rubbed his face with his hand, picked up his backpack, and got off the bus.

Today, Xu Ze had learned from Zhou Zhen that Ye Yunhua’s condition was doing fairly well. Xu Ze wanted to go have lunch with her.

The moment he got off the bus, Xu Ze was about to start running because he needed to hurry and catch the subway.

But after hesitating for a second, he still stopped to the side and stood there, his eyes fixed on the bus door.

After a while, Lu Heyang came downstairs with his schoolbag. He glanced at Xu Ze, then started walking in the opposite direction. Xu Ze assumed Lu Heyang was leaving and, without thinking, chased after him. But Lu Heyang only walked a few steps before stopping—He Wei hadn’t gotten off the bus yet. He was waiting for him.

When Lu Heyang turned around, he happened to see Xu Ze running toward him. Xu Ze’s hair had rubbed against the back of the seat while he was sleeping on the bus. It was a little messy, with a few strands sticking up crookedly. In the wind, they waved at Lu Heyang like little hands.

Xu Ze was very good at hiding things, but other parts of his body always betrayed him.

“I’ll give you the shirt back next week during swimming class,” Xu Ze said as he slowed down and stopped in front of Lu Heyang.

The shirt was new. After buying it, the housekeeper had only washed it once as a routine matter. Lu Heyang wanted to tell Xu Ze that it suited him and that he didn’t need to return it, but Xu Ze seemed to be in a hurry, so Lu Heyang simply nodded.

“I’m leaving first. Bye.” When Xu Ze said goodbye, his eyes were looking somewhere else.

Lu Heyang reached out, his fingertips brushing against Xu Ze’s sticking-up hair.

Instead of smoothing it down, he lifted that tuft a little higher, making it point straight toward the sky.

“Bye,” Lu Heyang said.

Xu Ze didn’t suspect his actions at all. He assumed Lu Heyang had picked some dirt off his hair. He even said, “Thanks,” before running toward the subway station.

Hard to Say What I Want

Chapter 32

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