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Chapter 45

This entry is part 45 of 56 in the series Hard to Say What I Want

Friday. The final exams were over.

Today was Lu Heyang’s birthday, but Lu Chengyu and Lu Qingmo were both tied up with matters involving the Alliance government and could not get away. As a result, the birthday banquet was postponed.

Lu Heyang’s birthday was not simply a birthday celebration. It was a social occasion for people in political circles, essentially having nothing to do with celebrating his birth. Lu Qingmo’s birthday served the same purpose.

He received a great many gifts, which were piled up on the table. As in previous years, Lu Heyang accepted gifts from friends he knew well and politely declined those from unfamiliar alumni. A driver came specifically to his classroom to help him collect everything and took a carload of gifts home. Lu Heyang, meanwhile, rode in He Wei’s car, and the three of them—he, He Wei, and Gu Yunchi—went out for dinner.

When they passed the bicycle shed, Lu Heyang turned his head and glanced over. Xu Ze’s bicycle was gone. He had probably left as soon as the exam ended.

After they parted at the hospital last week, Xu Ze was discharged early the next morning. This time, however, he sent Lu Heyang a message saying that he was fine. Then he made a very awkward transition—the first half of the message was still thanking him, while the second half suddenly asked, Can you tell me your home address? It’s okay if it’s inconvenient.

Obviously, he wanted to send Lu Heyang a gift.

Lu Heyang did not stop him. He knew Xu Ze wanted to do this, so he did not intend to reject Xu Ze a second time. Lu Heyang sent Xu Ze the address of his residential compound and told him that the courier would be received by the property management office and then delivered to the residents.

Though in reality, it was the guards who received the packages, not the property management office.

Xu Ze replied with another thank-you and even wished him luck on his final exams.

“Are you going to summer camp or not?” He Wei asked Gu Yunchi.

“Can’t be bothered.”

Gu Yunchi was looking at his phone without even lifting his head.

The summer camp was organized by the Alliance government and held every summer. Like the preparatory school, registration was mostly limited to children of government officials or wealthy families. Lu Heyang and He Wei had no choice but to attend. Gu Yunchi had always enjoyed a little more freedom, and if he did not want to go, there was no one who could do anything about it.

“Come on. Didn’t we always go together before?”

He Wei spoke in a mournful tone.

“Young Master Gu, how many more chances do you think the three of us will have to get together in the future?”

Gu Yunchi finally raised his eyes.

“I’ll stay for ten days and come back.”

“That works!”

Throughout dinner, Lu Heyang’s phone continued receiving various birthday wishes. After dinner, the three of them went to a bar. A group of alphas and omegas from the preparatory school whom they were relatively familiar with came along as well.

As the guest of honor that night, Lu Heyang was ironically the one who drank the least. He barely took a sip.

They did not stay out very late. Things wrapped up a little after nine. After everyone else left, He Wei suggested going to Lu Heyang’s house for some hangover soup and a few rounds of cards.

It started raining on the way back. Lu Heyang was driving, after all, he had not even had three milliliters of alcohol.

As usual, Lu Heyang did not like talking while driving. But He Wei felt that something had been off about him all night—he seemed completely uninterested.

Well, it had been like that in previous years too. Lu Heyang did not seem to have ever genuinely enjoyed his birthdays. After all, very few people could actually have fun when their own birthday celebration had been turned into a political-and-business gathering.

But tonight was clearly just a gathering among friends. He Wei had no idea why Lu Heyang still seemed unable to get interested in it.

“Why are you unhappy?”

He Wei leaned over the back of the driver’s seat and moved closer to Lu Heyang.

“That omega didn’t come celebrate your birthday with you this year. Are you upset?”

Lu Heyang still said nothing.

Gu Yunchi grabbed He Wei by the back of his collar and pulled him back into his seat.

“Stop bothering him.”

When they got home, there were quite a few packages in the living room. The largest one was from Lin Yumin—a complete set of skydiving equipment.

Lu Heyang picked up the other packages but did not open them. He only looked at the shipping labels.

The nanny had already prepared hangover soup and brought it over. Lu Heyang put down the last package and sat on the sofa.

He Wei casually picked out a movie to play in the background. As he shuffled the cards, he suddenly seemed to remember something.

“Hey, Heyang, why didn’t you invite Xu Ze today?”

“Why should I invite him?”

Lu Heyang took a sip of the soup and asked.

“Aren’t you two pretty close?”

He Wei began dealing the cards while simultaneously cheating. He had had too much to drink and did not realize how obvious his cheating was.

“It’s pretty amazing, though. The two of you actually became friends. Seriously, if Xu Ze were an omega, he’d be my type—one of them.”

He Wei’s ideal type was extremely inconsistent and varied. He had good family conditions and a good appearance, so he could attract any omega he was interested in without having to make the first move. Chi Jiahan could be considered the first stumbling block he had ever encountered.

Gu Yunchi ate his fruit without saying anything.

Lu Heyang looked at the cards in his hand. After a moment, he drew one and threw it down.

“Are you crazy? You played such a high card first!”

He Wei shouted.

“If you don’t want to play, then don’t! At least have some sportsmanship!”

Xu Ze got off the subway. After walking for a while, it started to rain, but there were no convenience stores around anymore.

This was a residential area he had only ever heard about in the news. Along the entire route, there were no other buildings, only broad roads and rows of trees.

The rain pelted his body so hard that his skin hurt.

Xu Ze ran through the rain for nearly twenty minutes before reaching the guardhouse. As he approached, the motion-sensor light came on, and only then did Xu Ze see a guard standing beneath the canopy outside the security office. He was dressed in a military uniform and stood ramrod straight.

Another guard opened an umbrella and walked out. His gaze swept over Xu Ze before finally fixing on his face.

“May I ask what you’re here for?”

“I’m here to deliver something.”

Xu Ze wiped his face with the back of his hand.

“Do you have an appointment?”

“No.”

“Then we’ll need to contact the resident you’re visiting.”

Xu Ze shook his head.

“I can just leave it here.”

“Okay. Come inside and sign in.”

Xu Ze entered the security office and took a small box out of his trouser pocket. He had kept his hands over it the entire way, but the box had inevitably gotten wet anyway.

After the guard took it from him, he opened it to inspect the contents and then asked Xu Ze to fill out a form.

Xu Ze wrote down Lu Heyang’s name, then signed his own name and provided his phone number.

After thanking the guard, he quickly left and ran back into the rain.

If possible, Xu Ze certainly wanted to hand the gift to Lu Heyang himself. But Lu Heyang should still be celebrating his birthday right now. The only thing Xu Ze could do was make sure the gift arrived before midnight.

After Xu Ze left, the guard picked up the phone and dialed a number.

Yet the face of the alpha who had just stood before him surfaced in his mind—young, fair-skinned, with obvious injuries from being struck around the corners of his mouth and across his cheek.

The telephone in the living room rang. When the nanny heard it, she immediately came out of the room. Lu Heyang happened to be beside the coffee table, so he picked up the phone first.

“Hello, this is the security office.”

“Hello.”

“Mr. Lu? Someone just left something for you. Would you like us to bring it over now?”

Lu Heyang closed the cards in his hand with one hand and lightly pressed them against the table.

“May I ask who sent it?”

“Xu Ze.”

“Where is he now?”

“He already left. It’s been less than a minute.”

“All right, thank you. I’ll come over and get it myself.”

After hanging up, Lu Heyang raised a hand toward the nanny, indicating that she should return to her room and continue resting.

Then Lu Heyang put down his cards and stood up.

“He Wei, lend me your car for a bit.”

“Oh.” He Wei pushed the keys over before realizing what he had said. “Where are you going?”

“I’ll be back soon.”

Lu Heyang walked out of the house. He held an umbrella, and since he was driving He Wei’s car, it effectively threw off the bodyguards’ line of sight. After driving for a while, no one followed him.

It took about ten minutes to drive from the house to the security office.

Lu Heyang stopped outside the main gate and lowered the car window. A security guard came out with an umbrella and handed the package to him.

Lu Heyang thanked him, but instead of turning around, he continued driving.

The rain was heavy. Even with an umbrella, anyone would end up soaked, and Xu Ze might not even have had one.

Not might.

He definitely hadn’t.

Three or four minutes later, Lu Heyang saw a figure by the roadside. In the endless darkness of the rain curtain, he looked like a drifting dandelion.

Xu Ze ran forward into the rain, grateful that there had been no thunder tonight.

He wasn’t sad at all.

He wasn’t regretful.

Because he had delivered Lu Heyang a birthday present.

Some good things had happened this week. The two subsidies he had applied for more than a year ago had suddenly been deposited into his account a few days ago without warning, and the amount was even more than he had expected.

His final exams had also gone smoothly. Maybe he even had a chance at getting a scholarship.

A car stopped diagonally about two meters in front of him.

Xu Ze wasn’t interrupted. He continued hurrying forward until the car door opened and the alpha got out with an umbrella.

“Xu Ze.”

The rain was so loud, yet Xu Ze heard him clearly.

He suddenly stopped, gasping for breath so hard that he nearly choked on the rainwater.

Lu Heyang walked toward him.

Xu Ze stood beneath the streetlight, and the injuries on his face were illuminated with startling clarity.

The rain was still falling throughout the city, but the rain around Xu Ze had stopped.

The umbrella was held over his head.

Xu Ze wiped the water from his face and looked at Lu Heyang. He opened his mouth, but ultimately said nothing.

He was terrible with words. Face-to-face, he could not even manage to say “Happy birthday.”

“Did you fight another match?” Lu Heyang asked.

“A boxer couldn’t make it today, so I went in for him.”

Lu Heyang’s tone was somewhat cold. Xu Ze inexplicably sensed a feeling of pressure and hurriedly explained, “It’s not serious. It just looks a little worse than it is.”

He had originally not intended to go.

But one of the boxers had told Xu Ze that Tang Feiyi probably would not be coming around for a while, because someone had severed the tendons in his hand. Several days had passed and they still had not found any clues. No one knew where he was going crazy now.

That was the downside of having too many enemies.

“You came just to deliver this?” Lu Heyang picked up the little box and asked.

Xu Ze nodded.

He had just finished boxing, his face bruised and swollen and his body covered in injuries, yet he had still come through the rain to deliver a birthday present.

And after arriving, he had not even known to call or send a text. He had simply planned to leave silently.

Such a stubborn, clueless person.

“It’s a little rough. I made it myself.”

Xu Ze carefully opened the lid.

“If you don’t like it, you can just put it somewhere in a corner. It won’t take up any space.”

Inside the box lay a silver pendant.

A single line of silver curved and twisted into a three-dimensional shape, giving it a simple artistic quality.

Xu Ze had also wanted to give Lu Heyang the very best.

Unfortunately, he had nothing.

He could only melt down a bracelet he had worn when he was little and turn it into a pendant.

From the moment he learned which month Lu Heyang’s birthday was in, he had begun working on it. He had gone to a small goldsmith’s shop near his residential complex, asked the owner to teach him how to work with the material, and squeezed in time bit by bit to finish it.

“You can hang it on your key ring.”

After thinking about it, Xu Ze added that.

Actually, a necklace or bracelet would have been more suitable.

But Xu Ze did not dare hope that Lu Heyang would wear it on his body.

Lu Heyang did not say anything.

Xu Ze became a little nervous, and also somewhat guilty.

He suddenly thought that he might have interrupted Lu Heyang’s gathering with his friends.

He felt that he should be decisive and straightforward, say what he needed to say, and stop wasting Lu Heyang’s time.

“The second opportunity.”

Rainwater had soaked through Xu Ze’s T-shirt, making it cling coldly to his body.

He forced himself to smile at Lu Heyang.

“I hope you’ll be happy and safe from now on.”

Of the three opportunities Lu Heyang had given him, there were still two left.

Xu Ze had decided to use the second opportunity to make a wish.

Such a precious opportunity would surely be very effective when used to make a wish.

He did not want to simply wish Lu Heyang a happy seventeenth birthday.

He wanted Lu Heyang to be happy every day.

Lu Heyang remained silent.

His face was hidden in the shadow beneath the umbrella, and his expression was dark and unreadable.

Xu Ze held onto the umbrella handle and pushed it slightly farther toward Lu Heyang so that he would not get wet.

Then Xu Ze let go and said,

“I’ll go first.”

He took a step to the side, brushing past Lu Heyang’s shoulder, intending to continue running alone down that road drenched by the torrential rain.

His wrist suddenly tightened.

Xu Ze turned back in confusion.

Before he could react, a force pulled him sharply to the side.

Xu Ze felt his foot step into the grass.

He was pushed backward until his back pressed against the wet tree trunk.

A cloud drifted over.

No—not a cloud.

A cloud could not be that low.

It was Lu Heyang’s umbrella.

The umbrella enclosed both of them beneath it, like a gigantic mushroom.

Xu Ze’s vision was blurred by the rain.

He blinked.

He smelled the scent of grass.

Then he smelled Lu Heyang’s pheromones.

Not only did he smell them—

He tasted them.

In that instant, Xu Ze heard thunder.

A few seconds later, he realized that it wasn’t thunder.

It was his heartbeat.

Subsidy: About why the money suddenly appeared in my account, none of you showed even the slightest concern.

Hard to Say What I Want

Chapter 44 Chapter 46

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