Shangguan Ye hesitated for a moment before steeled his resolve. He sighed. “Truth be told, I was born with a natural inclination toward men. But I swear, after meeting you, I resolved to reform. To be faithful to you alone.”
Seeing Shangguan Ye’s tense yet earnest expression, Murong Qiufeng couldn’t help but chuckle. “Was that the case with Yueyin too?”
“Those were merely physical needs. No emotional attachment.” Shangguan Ye gazed at Murong Qiufeng’s ever-gentle smile. For some reason—perhaps guilt—it suddenly felt unsettling. He hurriedly interjected his explanation, fearing a moment’s delay.
“Oh. But your lack of feelings for others doesn’t mean they don’t have feelings for you. So, by your logic, I’m being seen as a love rival.” Murong Qiufeng chuckled inwardly with resignation. The mystery that had puzzled him all along turned out to have such a simple explanation. It truly left him both amused and exasperated.
Shangguan Ye sighed and nodded. Then, as if suddenly remembering something, he looked at Murong Qiufeng with confusion. “You’re not surprised. Nor are you angry.”
Murong Qiufeng shook his head with amusement. “Why should I be angry? Everyone has a past. Since you’ve already said it happened before we met, what right do I have to be angry? As for being surprised…” Murong Qiufeng gave a sly smile. “Don’t you know how notorious your reputation is in the martial world? Especially the part about the Lord of the Heavenly Slaughter Pavilion being fond of men. It’s practically common knowledge. Though it stung a bit at first, once I let it go, it didn’t bother me anymore.”
Shangguan Ye froze for a moment before realizing Murong Qiufeng had known all along. He felt utterly speechless. He’d kept it hidden for so long. His eyes narrowed slightly. “So you’ve been laughing at me this whole time?”
Murong Qiufeng dodged his hand and chuckled. “You never volunteered the information. Did you expect me to act like a jealous husband, hounding you about how many other young masters lurk in your harem, how many you’ve favored?”
Shang Guan Ye scratched his nose. Changing the subject seemed wisest. “Seems I’m the one acting jealous. Darling, you really know how to stir things up.”
Murong Qiufeng frowned. “You’re the one overthinking things.” She hadn’t provoked anyone. The only one she’d ever provoked was this very man. And even that had been utterly inexplicable.
Shangguan Ye raised an eyebrow, leaving the implication unspoken. He paced over, wrapped his arms around him from behind, rested his chin lightly on his shoulder, and breathed softly into his ear. “Sweetheart, tell me honestly. Have you ever thought about or imagined your own marriage? Or what kind of life you’d want?”
Murong Qiufeng paused, then sighed softly. “Truthfully, I’ve never held grand visions for marriage. I only know it will be arranged by my family. All I can do is treat my wife and children well after marriage, nurture our bond as best I can, sustain our family, and fulfill my duties as husband and father. I refuse to mirror my father—to cause my mother pain and disappointment.”
Shangguan Ye listened, his grip on Murong Qiufeng’s hand tightening unconsciously. Especially when he heard the words “wife and children,” his expression darkened involuntarily. He turned his head to look at Murong Qiufeng’s earnest profile.
“Do you regret it?” After a moment of silence, he suddenly grasped Murong Qiufeng’s shoulders gently, turning him to face him. He asked earnestly, his eyes holding a hint of deeply concealed, cautious uncertainty.
“Huh? What do you mean, regret?” Murong Qiufeng froze, confused by the abrupt question.
“If time could be reversed, and you had another chance—would you regret meeting me? Accepting me?”
Murong Qiufeng stared at him in bewilderment, puzzled by the question. Did his affection mean so little to him? Had he overlooked something? This man, so powerful, confident, and domineering, was revealing such vulnerability.
Watching Murong Qiufeng freeze, unable to get an answer, Shangguan Ye’s heart sank slightly. His grip on the shoulders tightened.
The pain in his shoulder snapped Murong Qiufeng back to reality. Seeing the growing unease in his eyes, his own heart contracted. He reached up, placed a hand over the one on his shoulder, and smiled, shaking his head.
“I can’t think of anything to regret.”
The pain in her shoulders snapped Murong Qiufeng back to reality. Seeing the deepening unease in his eyes, her heart tightened. She then raised her hand to rest one of his hands on her shoulder, smiling as she shook her head.
“I can’t think of any reason I’d regret it. You know me well enough. If it weren’t for you, perhaps my life would have unfolded exactly as I just described—arranged marriage, children, entering officialdom. A lifetime drifting aimlessly, even though none of that was what I truly wanted. You changed my life, Ye. Meeting you was a gift from heaven. Perhaps that gift was paid for with the health of my youth. Tell me, do I have any reason to regret?”
Shangguan Ye gazed at him, mesmerized by his calm, resolute expression. Suddenly, he realized that throughout their journey together, though it always seemed he was the one taking the initiative while Murong Qiufeng passively accepted, in truth, he had given far more. He willingly changed for him, abandoned moral conventions for him, dared to defy his father for him, made every effort to accommodate him, and even deliberately studied to satisfy his desires.
He wrapped his arms around Mu Rong Qiufeng’s waist and back, pulling him tightly into his embrace. For a long moment, neither could speak. Shangguan Ye buried his face in Mu Rong Qiufeng’s neck, his eyes misty, yet his lips curved into a gentle smile, brimming with tenderness and happiness.
Silence hung between them for a long while, filling the room with warmth. After a while, Shangguan Ye finally released him, his emotions calming considerably. He smiled softly. “I’m very satisfied with your answer. So there’s a reward.”
Murong Qiufeng raised an eyebrow, curiosity mingled with confusion and a hint of guardedness. “What kind of reward?” His wariness stemmed from the fear of sudden indecency. Though he wasn’t entirely opposed to it, they couldn’t just do it anywhere.
“Heh. It’s a secret for now. You’ll find out tonight.” Shangguan Ye gave a mysterious smile, saying no more. He released him, but kept holding his hand, pulling him along as they left.
Murong Qiufeng’s curiosity was completely piqued. His heart felt like a cat scratching at it, making him look forward to the evening.
Night fell. The trio departed the Heavenly Slaughter Pavilion, but instead of returning to the prince’s mansion, they exited through another secret passageway. They circled back to the prime minister’s residence via a different exit.
Shangguan Ye didn’t even have time for dinner before rushing off, claiming he needed to discuss the matter with the emperor at the palace.
After finishing his meal, Murong Qiufeng tended to Yun Tian for a while, asking about minor clues. Then, as usual, she went to visit her parents’ quarters.
Though his words that day had been harsh, he could never truly abandon his parents. He dared only to secretly watch them, inquire about their well-being through servants, and even avoided seeing his unsuspecting mother—fearing he might slip up and hurt her.
After a moment of worry, she returned to her room to ponder those clues. Yet no matter how she tried, he couldn’t fully concentrate. His mind kept drifting outward. Gazing at the late night sky, he thought of the reward Shangguan Ye had mentioned, and his heart refused to settle.
Yet as the hour grew ever later and still no sign of him appeared, irritation welled up within him. Frowning, he paced restlessly, stepping out to the doorway now and then, like a wife awaiting her husband’s return.
When Youxiang approached, she saw Murong Qiufeng’s expression and couldn’t help but suppress a smile. “Young Master, it’s late. Why haven’t you rested yet? The Prince just sent word that he’ll be discussing matters with the Emperor tonight and won’t be returning.”
