Chapter 12
In the bar, the dim warm lights cast dazzling and intoxicating starbursts on a row of glasses at the bar counter.
“Refill,” Xiao Yi pushed the empty glass forward.
The bartender smiled wryly. The cocktail in this glass cost over a thousand, but Xiao Yi, the young master of the Xiao family, was downing them like water. Unfortunately, he still skillfully poured another glass and gave a signal to the man next to Xiao Yi.
It was the tenth glass.
Immediately, Ali understood and began to advise, “Young Master, please drink less.”
He had been with Xiao Yi for several years now, both as a bodyguard and a friend. He had witnessed many occasions where Young Master drowned his sorrows in alcohol, and most of them were related to that person.
“He just started drinking. Why are you nagging?” Xiao Yi frowned. Over the years, he had developed an impressive tolerance for alcohol and wasn’t even close to being drunk after ten glasses.
Ali advised gently, “Shouldn’t you go back earlier? Aren’t you afraid he might leave again?”
“The house has surveillance, and my phone will alert me if anyone enters the gate. He hasn’t left yet.”
Ali couldn’t help but sigh and asked carefully, “Young Master, all these years, have you ever thought about… changing your target?”
Xiao Yi gave him a sidelong glance and swirled his glass, chuckling bitterly, “Do you think I haven’t? After he rejected me, I tried to stop liking him… But later, when I heard he had gone abroad, I couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing him again. If he lives somewhere I can’t see, makes new friends, and dates other women, I can’t stand it. I still like him, there’s nothing I can do.”
Ali knew that Young Master had gone through a rough period during that time. He stopped going to school, stayed at home all day, and it took a month of care and guidance from his family to help him recover. Then, one day, he suddenly said he wanted to study at a design university abroad, shocking his family. However, the university was prestigious, and Young Master worked hard to secure an offer. His family, who had always indulged him, let him go.
Back then, Ali suspected that there must be a reason for Young Master’s drastic change, but he never told anyone in the family. He still didn’t know the full story.
Later, when Xiao Yi went to study abroad, the family assigned someone of similar age, Alai, to accompany him. During their time together, they became good friends, and Ali gradually learned the truth. He also saw the person who always held Xiao Yi’s attention at the university—
Fu Yu.
Ali couldn’t deny that Fu Yu was good-looking, the type that stood out in a crowd, with an icy and handsome appearance that seemed otherworldly.
He had met Fu Yu a few times in person, and Fu Yu knew he was Xiao Yi’s bodyguard. He would nod politely in greeting, but when it came to Xiao Yi himself, Fu Yu wouldn’t even spare a glance.
What had happened to make this seemingly polite and gentle person despise Young Master so much? Ali couldn’t fathom it. After all, according to Young Master’s account, he had merely confessed his feelings, so why did Fu Yu have such a strong reaction? Did Fu Yu have deep-seated issues with homosexuality?
Ali decided to ask this question.
“Indeed, he has some issues,” Xiao Yi burped and then suddenly stopped, “I promised him not to tell anyone.”
“Sir, he treats you like this, and you still keep your promise for him?”
“One promise for another.”
Xiao Yi raised his glass and downed another drink.
Back when they were still close, Xiao Yi had attempted to understand Fu Yu’s views on homosexuality, but Fu Yu had revealed something that had made him furious.
“My piano teacher tried to assault me when I was a child. Fortunately, we had a large dog at home, and it heard me screaming and rushed to attack him.”
Fu Yu spoke about it casually, but Xiao Yi clenched his fists and gritted his teeth, “What’s the name of that teacher? I’ll make sure he pays for it.”
“I’ve forgotten. My parents made sure he had a rough time through their connections, and I don’t know where he is now.”
After hearing this, Xiao Yi was filled with rage but couldn’t do anything about it. He had never blamed Fu Yu for insulting him; instead, he had shattered his own self-esteem with those hurtful words. Those hurtful words had crushed his self-respect into glass shards, leaving his heart riddled with holes, numb, and plunged into self-destruction. And now, even after all these years, those glass shards still hadn’t been completely removed from his wounds.
Later on, he made a resolution. On one hand, he worked hard to attend the same university as Fu Yu. On the other hand, he partied like a playboy.
But he also stubbornly refused to let Fu Yu discover that he still liked him.
During his university years, Xiao Yi realized that no matter what he did, Fu Yu would never look at him again. He had to create opportunities himself, at least to be ordinary friends again.
The biggest obstacle to gaining Fu Yu’s forgiveness now was his continued feelings for him.
Xiao Yi regretted his impulsive confession and his failure to understand Fu Yu’s feelings at the time. But he never regretted liking Fu Yu.
He couldn’t admit that his feelings were wrong and apologize. He couldn’t do it. He would rather pretend that he didn’t like Fu Yu anymore than do that. It was the last bit of his self-respect. If even that was shattered, he would have to prevent himself from ever liking Fu Yu again in the future. He would deceive himself, live carelessly, and have his right to like someone taken away, leaving him as an empty shell.
Xiao Yi chuckled self-mockingly, ran his fingers over the glass, which was now filled with alcohol again, and gazed into the distance, reminiscing about the feverish Fu Yu sleeping in his car earlier. His cheeks were flushed, he slept deeply, and when he arrived home, Xiao Yi carefully carried him out of the car. The warmth of the body in his arms was soft and comforting.
Why was such a gentle person so cruel to him?