Chapter 165
Hearing Allen say those words caught Jin Fei completely off guard.
Perhaps it was because Allen had always given off an air of superiority and arrogance. Not only Su Bin, but even Jin Fei sometimes felt like Allen was from a completely different world.
Originally, Jin Fei thought Allen and Su Bin’s relationship was merely a physical one—Allen was interested in Su Bin’s body, and Su Bin, still reeling from a breakup, found comfort in the arrangement. Both adults were just satisfying their needs. Allen was a man who could seduce anyone, and no one could resist him. It didn’t surprise Jin Fei when Su Bin fell for him. But what Jin Fei didn’t expect was that Allen would openly admit that he had fallen in love with Su Bin.
In foreign cultures, people might say they “like,” “adore,” or “fancy” someone in a relationship, but it’s rare to hear someone say “I love you.” For someone as meticulous as Allen, hearing him say “love” felt unreal to Jin Fei.
Yet, although this fact was unexpected, it also made sense.
If Allen didn’t love Su Bin, how could he have such a strong sense of possession and control over him?
Jin Fei: “Why did you fall in love with Su Bin?”
Allen: “I thought you wouldn’t ask such a question.”
Jin Fei: “…”
Allen: “There’s no reason. Love is just an impulse.”
Jin Fei chuckled awkwardly, realizing he had asked a silly question.
Allen’s answer reminded him of an “experiment on human romantic behavior” he had read about during his school years. The experiment was fascinating. A hundred young men and women participated, each labeled with a number from 1 to 100. Odd numbers were assigned to the men, even numbers to the women. The experiment’s goal was for participants to find a partner in a limited time, with the higher combined number earning a higher reward. The participants could communicate with each other, but they were not allowed to share their numbers.
At the start of the experiment, everyone could easily spot the person with the highest number, surrounded by numerous admirers. This person could gauge their higher value based on the crowd’s reactions but couldn’t know anyone’s specific number. They had to pair up with someone who was also surrounded by people in order to maximize their score.
On the other hand, those with low numbers were alone, with some even having single-digit numbers. No one wanted to talk to them, so they could only pair up with others in similar situations or face the end alone.
At the conclusion of the experiment, most people paired up with someone with a similar number, a phenomenon often called “marriage compatibility” or “equal social standing.” But there were a few exceptions. For instance, one person with a high number selected someone from their admirers based solely on appearance, despite that person having a low number. Similarly, one person with a low number won over someone with a much higher number, simply because they were moved by the lower-numbered person’s persistence and made the decision in a moment of emotion.
This variable, Jin Fei thought, was what we call “love.”
Yes, love has no reason. Sometimes, a single look, a smile, or an unconscious gesture can capture someone’s heart, causing them to forget all the rational calculations about compatibility.
However, most romantic impulses don’t last long. Who can spend their whole life in a passionate, head-over-heels relationship? The effects of dopamine only last for about six months before people settle down.
Jin Fei teased Allen, “This impulse of yours is really long-lasting, huh?”
Allen looked down at his hand, his voice low as he replied, “Because it’s become instinct.”
Jin Fei couldn’t help but be moved. He hadn’t expected this seemingly meticulous man to have such a romantic side deep down.
But Jin Fei wasn’t here to interview Allen about how much he loved Su Bin. He needed to know what Allen had done to Su Bin that made him hide away, taking nothing and telling no one.
Though Su Bin could be a bit naive, he wouldn’t just disappear without reason. The last time they met, Su Bin had expressed how much he cared about Allen. He should have known that his “disappearance” would be a serious matter for Allen. He couldn’t have had the courage to do this unless he felt his life was in danger…
Wait a minute. Jin Fei suddenly recalled his earlier thoughts about “absolute obedience!”
Could it be that Su Bin felt his life was threatened and ran away? If the one threatening him was Allen…
“Allen, I need to ask you something,” Jin Fei looked at Allen seriously, his voice turning stern. “You know that Su Bin cares about your health. Have you ever thought about what would happen if one day, due to your strict control over him, you passed away from illness? Su Bin would still be so young. What do you plan to do then?”
Allen met Jin Fei’s gaze, his eyes darkening, before responding coldly, “What do you think I plan to do?”
Jin Fei: “You want him to follow you to the grave?” (＝口=|||) Oh no…
“Mm…” Allen didn’t try to hide his true feelings.
Jin Fei: “Did you tell Su Bin this too?”
Allen’s voice dropped. “Yes, and that’s why he ran away.”
“…”
It’s no surprise! That cowardly, scared-of-death guy is probably hiding somewhere now, doubting everything about the world!
“Your thinking is… is truly insane!” Jin Fei was at a loss for words, struggling to find a way to express his shock.
Allen: “…”
Was Allen crazy? He didn’t think so. “Crazy” was just a relative term based on what was considered “normal.” Humans, as social animals, loved to constrain their individual thoughts and actions according to the rules of the majority.
Jin Fei furrowed his brows deeply. “What if Su Bin doesn’t want it?”
Allen replied nonchalantly, “I’ve said it before, I won’t force him.”
Jin Fei felt a little embarrassed. Though Allen said he wouldn’t force Su Bin, his ability to wear someone down through soft persuasion, manipulation, deception, and even hypnosis was far beyond Jin Fei, who had a degree in psychology.
At that moment, Allen’s phone rang. Upon seeing the caller ID, Allen’s expression changed.
Simon: “Your Highness, there’s news. Four days ago, an employee at the delivery store in L city saw Mr. Su. It seems he was looking for a girl named Li. I’ve already located Miss Li’s residence, but haven’t found Mr. Su’s whereabouts. I suspect Miss Li has arranged a separate place for him. Should I approach Miss Li in secret to inquire about Mr. Su’s location?”
Allen remained silent for a moment before replying, “No need. Keep observing.”
Simon: “Understood. If we find Mr. Su, should we bring him back to L city?”
“…”
Allen stared at the table, his expression tinged with a faint sorrow. After a long pause, he said, “No. Just keep an eye on him, make sure nothing happens to him.”
Simon: “Understood…”
Noticing the hesitation in Simon’s voice, Allen asked, “Is there anything else?”
Simon: “Your Highness, I’m concerned about your safety. Jack has taken a half-month leave and won’t be back for four more days. Should I ask the D city headquarters to send new personnel?”
Allen: “Just for these few days, Robert is here. Don’t worry.”
Simon: “Understood. I’ll notify Jack to return as soon as possible.”
…
Jin Fei: “Have you found Su Bin?”
“Not yet, but we have a lead,” Allen said darkly. When he spoke, his voice sounded weak, and if Jin Fei hadn’t been paying close attention, he wouldn’t have been able to make out what Allen was saying.
But since there was now a lead, Jin Fei figured there was no need to continue the conversation. It seemed Allen was still in control of the situation.
As he stood up, Jin Fei noticed Allen was using the back of the chair to support himself.
“Allen…” As Jin Fei reached the door, he couldn’t help but call out to him. “Take care of yourself too. Too much obsession will shorten your life.”
As a mutual friend, Jin Fei also worried about Allen.
Allen: “…”
Maybe the word “shorten” sounded too ominous to Allen, who probably had little time left. Jin Fei regretted saying it as soon as the words left his mouth, quickly scratching his head to change the topic. “Su Bin’s a softie. Maybe he’ll come back soon once he thinks about you. But before that, you need to take care of yourself!”
Allen smiled, but the smile had a hint of sorrow. Seeing Allen turn and walk away, Jin Fei couldn’t help but shake his head. He wondered how Su Bin would react when he saw Allen in this broken, soul-weary state…
Once in the car, Allen closed his eyes and pondered Jin Fei’s earlier question.
Even if Su Bin didn’t want to, Allen thought, he would probably still be unable to stop loving him. But that love would have to be restrained, painful—just like now. Every breath felt as if it drained all his strength.
He had already made Su Bin a part of himself. Whether it was the absence of his body or his soul, both would cause his life to wither away.
—You once said that if I leave you, it will cost you your life.
—Then if you leave me, isn’t that the same for me?
…
After a long while, Allen spoke softly to Robert, “Take me to the Boss Su’s experimental store.”
Looking at Allen, who appeared as pale as paper in the rearview mirror, Robert couldn’t help but say, “Young master, it’s already past 9…”
Allen: “The store will be closing soon. I want to talk to someone, just for half an hour.”
Robert sighed and reluctantly pressed the accelerator.
Su Bin suddenly woke up with a start, looking through the gap in the curtains. The night was dark.
He grabbed the blanket over his chest, breathing rapidly, his heart pounding. Another nightmare… But this time, he had a very bad feeling.
“Allen…” Su Bin whispered softly, closing his eyes as he tried to calm his breathing.
He hadn’t been sleeping deeply. Ever since the day he fled, Su Bin had been in a state of half-consciousness, barely alive.
Afraid that Allen might send someone to take him back, Su Bin had been hiding in this room, not daring to go anywhere. He had also asked Li Meihan not to tell anyone about him or let anyone visit.
He had bought enough food for four or five days in advance, but he had barely eaten, spending most of his time lying in bed, either dozing off or spacing out… The unfamiliar room, the unfamiliar bed, the strange smell—all of it made Su Bin feel uneasy. These past couple of days, he had only been able to sleep due to fever and the physical toll of mental stress.
Finally, after getting through another day, his fever seemed to have subsided, and his mind cleared up a little.
Once he became more aware, he started to miss Allen desperately.
What was Allen doing now? Without him, had Allen eaten anything these past few days? Was he like Su Bin, having no appetite? Thinking of Allen’s fragile body, Su Bin couldn’t help but feel his heart tighten.
Allen, Allen, Allen…
I’m sorry. I’ll still be good to you in the future, but I need to break the habit of depending on you. I need to make my feelings for you fade a little. I don’t want to be unable to live without you…
If you leave, I’ll burn incense for you every year. I’ll remember you. I’ll burn the best paper money for you…
Su Bin tried to convince himself, but it was no use. The more he thought about it, the sadder he became. In the end, he couldn’t hold back and hugged his pillow, silently shedding tears.
