Chapter 166
No matter how long the night lasted, it couldn’t stop the sun from rising, and the day arrived as expected. Su Bin wiped his tears and sat at the edge of the bed, looking out the window.
For the first time, he had woken up earlier than the sunrise. He hadn’t slept at all after that; without a phone and after several days of unconsciousness, he no longer knew what day it was.
He wasn’t sure if it was because of waking up suddenly in the middle of the night, but now he felt a strong urge to know how Allen was doing.
Around noon, Li Meihan came over to check on Su Bin, bringing him fresh sandwiches.
“What time is it?” Su Bin asked, looking exhausted.
Li Meihan answered, “It’s November 24th, Saturday.”
Su Bin counted the days in his head. “Only five days?” It felt like it had been much longer. “How’s everything outside?”
Li Meihan hesitated, unsure how to answer. Nothing significant would change in just five days. “Oh, right. You have a friend named Jin who sent me a text early this morning asking if I’d seen you… But since you said not to tell anyone, I didn’t say anything.”
Su Bin felt a slight emptiness in his heart. He had asked Li Meihan just to know about Allen—whether Allen had come looking for him. At first, he had feared Allen might send someone to drag him back, but now, he actually hoped Allen would come find him… How pitiful.
“Li Meihan, can I borrow your phone to make a call?” Su Bin asked.
“Sure!” Li Meihan generously handed him her phone. “Are you calling Jin Fei?”
Su Bin shook his head. “I want to make an international call… to my dad.”
“Alright…” Li Meihan thoughtfully stepped aside.
Su Bin hesitated for a moment, then dialed the number—a string of digits. His father’s number was the first one he had memorized, yet he rarely called him. He didn’t even know if his father had changed it over the past two years.
The phone rang a few times before it was picked up. A familiar voice came from the other end. “Hello, who is this?”
Su Bin froze for a moment, unsure of what to say. After a brief silence, he quietly said, “Dad, it’s me.”
“…Bin Bin?!” His father’s voice was filled with surprise—no, not just surprise, but joy.
Su Bin was momentarily taken aback. It was rare to hear such a reaction from his normally indifferent father, and he didn’t quite know how to respond. But then again, although there had been conflicts between them in the past, at least they had kept in touch with a few calls every month or so. Now, it had been two years without contact.
“Been a while since you called. Are you alright?” His father asked first, then continued, “I heard from your classmate, what’s his name again? The one who’s darker than you, the one you used to play with as a kid…”
“His name’s Huang Zhengming,” Su Bin reminded him.
“Right, that’s him!” His father said. “He told me. I tried calling you, but couldn’t get through. He said you were studying abroad in B country at the school you exchanged to… Did you graduate already?”
“Mm…” Hearing his father speak so much in a row was unusual, and Su Bin expected to feel touched, but strangely, he didn’t. Instead, it felt awkward.
Maybe it was because he had waited for this kind of care for so long, and after repeatedly losing hope, it felt out of place. The anticipation was gone, replaced with indifference.
And, considering his father’s character, he never used to ask so many questions…
Had his father changed after starting a new family? Or had he changed after some accident?
“Oh, that’s good. You’ve done well for yourself…” His father’s tone was filled with goodwill.
“I ran into Huang Zhengming here. He’s abroad now, pursuing a master’s degree,” Su Bin said. “He told me you were in a car accident?”
“Yeah, but it’s nothing serious, just a broken calf. I was in bed for three months, but it’s all healed now. It was someone else’s fault. They hit me, but the insurance paid for it.”
Su Bin: “And what about the factory problems?”
His father hesitated, then answered, “That’s been sorted out… didn’t you send money for it?”
“Money? What do you mean?” Su Bin asked.
His father explained, “When the factory had cash flow issues and was on the brink of bankruptcy, your Aunt Li suggested I talk to you about selling the house in Qingbo. Once the business picked up again, we’d buy you a new one. But since you were abroad and I couldn’t reach you, I had to ask your classmate.”
Su Bin almost laughed when he heard this. Even if his father was finally remembering him, it wasn’t because of the long time apart—it was for money. And frankly, Su Bin didn’t mind if they sold the house; it was his father’s to begin with.
His father continued, “Later, someone contacted me, saying they were your lawyer. They said you were studying and doing business, making money, and wanted to repay me for your living and tuition expenses…”
Su Bin: “How much was it?”
“One million.”
Su Bin: “…”
His father: “What’s wrong? You didn’t know about this?”
“It wasn’t me who sent it, it was the foreign friend I brought back last time. He’s my business partner,” Su Bin explained. He felt a bit emotional, his eyes brimming with tears. “It must’ve been Allen who did it, but it was his decision, and I agreed with it. I wanted to repay you.”
“Ah, so it was him,” his father said. “I remember him… Were you two together?”
Su Bin was shocked. “Y-You know?”
“Last time you brought him back, we were at a restaurant, and you suddenly ran off in a huff. He said some things to me…”
Su Bin: “What? He talked to you? Can you understand English?”
“He spoke in Chinese. He said he wanted to be with you, take care of you, and asked if I’d accept it, if I’d interfere.”
Su Bin was stunned. Allen could speak Chinese? Not just a few phrases, but he was able to have a conversation in Chinese?
His father continued, “When I heard it, I was a bit stunned too, because he looked so serious… I just told him I wouldn’t interfere.”
Su Bin could totally understand what his father meant by “stunned.” Allen’s negotiating presence was something even adults couldn’t handle… But what confused Su Bin more was how open his father seemed to be, so casually accepting that his son was being pursued by another man.
His father continued, “Now that you’re capable, I’m relieved.”
Seeing that his father wasn’t offering any further explanation, Su Bin didn’t press the issue. Thinking about his current strained relationship with Allen, he lost the motivation to continue the conversation. The phone call had only been made out of a sense of duty as a son—out of a delayed attempt to check on his father after learning about his issues with his business and health.
After exchanging a few more pleasantries, Su Bin was about to hang up.
But just then, his father suddenly called out, “Bin Bin, wait! I’ve been keeping a secret from you for a long time…”
Su Bin’s heart skipped a beat. “What?” Was his father also gay? Was that why he was so calm about this?
His father sighed several times, then fell into a long silence before saying, “Bin Bin, I’m not your biological father…”
Su Bin: “…” (==|||)
His father lowered his voice and explained, “You were adopted by your grandfather from a monk at Lingyin Temple… Your mother and I had been trying to have children for years but couldn’t. We were already thinking about getting a divorce when your grandfather suddenly handed us an adopted child. Your mother never really liked you, thought you were a burden, so after we separated, she passed on the responsibility of raising you to me and your grandfather. Before your grandfather passed, he asked me to raise you until you were an adult, but I underestimated how difficult it would be… Now that I have some time to think, I realize that I made many mistakes and I feel guilty towards you. I originally wanted to keep this from you, but Aunt Li said you’re now independent and mature enough to handle it, so I think it’s time you know.”
Su Bin: “Mm, now I know.”
There was an awkward pause on the line before his father sighed again. “Bin Bin, I’m sorry…”
“It’s nothing to be sorry about…” Just as Allen had said, parental relationships were predestined. Having a father like this was just his fate. The fact that his father could apologize meant that, at least, he felt some guilt. But if they weren’t related by blood, just as Aunt Li had said—his father didn’t really owe him anything.
“You’ve started your own family, and I’m happy for you,” Su Bin said calmly. In the past, if he had heard the word “sorry,” he might have felt resentful, wronged, or upset. But now, without any expectations, there was no sense of loss.
His father added, “When you have time, come back and visit more often…”
After hanging up, Su Bin stared blankly ahead. Hearing the truth like this, he felt as though his life had been reset. But somehow, it seemed like this was the way it was always meant to be. The treatment he had received in the past now seemed logical and justifiable.
… And then there was Allen.
Now, he really had only Allen left.
But could he offer Allen what he wanted?
Su Bin recalled the phone call just now—Allen had already been speaking Chinese so fluently, and had said those things to his father when they weren’t even together yet, right?
… Allen, what are you really thinking?
Allen’s thoughts were too complex for Su Bin to understand, but Allen had always kept his promises, solving his problems and quietly managing everything. It was as if he made all the decisions with god-like precision. He always said that those problems would only add to the burden… And yes, Allen was always right.
… So, was the decision to live or die together the right one?
When Li Meihan returned, Su Bin blinked his eyes, which were once again filled with unshed tears. He forced himself to adjust his emotions before handing her back the phone.
Li Meihan frowned and asked, “Are you going to stay here for a while?”
“Sorry…” Because Allen had asked him to keep a distance from Li Meihan, Su Bin had deliberately ignored her, keeping their relationship at the level of ordinary high school acquaintances. But now, he was turning to her, knowing she would help him.
He lowered his head in guilt. “I’m sorry for troubling you.”
Li Meihan quickly waved her hand. “It’s nothing. I was just worried about you…”
In her memory, Su Bin had always been energetic and cheerful. Even after being abandoned by Chen Xiaotian, he had only become a bit gentler and more mellow. But now, the Su Bin in front of her was displaying an overwhelming sense of helplessness, trapped in his own world, his eyes lost and conflicted, full of pain and struggle.
“What happened?” Li Meihan observed his expression carefully and asked, “Did you have an argument with your foreign roommate?”
Su Bin’s lips trembled, and his face paled.
Li Meihan seemed to have guessed correctly. She explained, “I could tell when I went to your house for hotpot that there was something between you two… Later, when Dr. Yang drove me to the train station, he also mentioned it.”
Cheng Ge had told Li Meihan? Su Bin smiled bitterly. No wonder Li Meihan had stopped contacting him much afterward. It seemed that Cheng Ge’s “unintentional” act had greatly relieved the pressure he had been feeling at the time.
Li Meihan hesitated for a moment before cautiously asking, “Su Bin, are you gay?”
Su Bin: “…”
Li Meihan added, “I don’t mean anything by it. Even if you are, I wouldn’t discriminate against you. You and Xiaotian were so close, and you liked her so much… I thought you were straight.”
Su Bin fell into silence for a moment before softly replying, “I’m not sure if I’m gay, but it’s true that I like that person… so, I guess I must be.”
Li Meihan lowered her gaze and asked, “When I confessed to you, had you already liked him?”
