Chapter 167
Su Bin didn’t give Li Meihan a definitive answer, because the question had been something he had thought about for several days on his own.
… When did he start liking Allen?
When he first met Allen, Su Bin had kept a distance, feeling more like an observer. Then, due to his own imagination, he developed an inexplicable fear of Allen. Even though Allen played along with his strange jokes and once even bit his neck in a playful prank, Su Bin only felt speechless and humiliated. Yet, at the same time, it made him realize that Allen wasn’t someone difficult to approach.
If he had to pinpoint when he began to have feelings for Allen, it might have been that time when, after secretly doing labor behind Allen’s back, he was scolded by him, only for Allen to suddenly hug him and say, “I’m worried about you…” It was in that moment that he realized Allen was a good person, someone who genuinely cared for him.
Then, after his breakup with Chen Xiaotian, Su Bin fell into a deep despair, but Allen used “special means” to help distract him. However, due to the lingering shadows of his past “unrequited love,” Su Bin couldn’t bring himself to entertain any new feelings.
As time passed, more things happened that touched Su Bin deeply: Allen got injured while saving his “potted scallion,” he took Su Bin to a seafood place even though Su Bin couldn’t eat seafood, and he comforted him when Huang Zhengming betrayed him… From impulsive kisses to assertive hugs and companionship, bit by bit, Su Bin found himself falling for Allen.
The most crucial moment was two years ago, that Christmas. At his lowest point, Allen suddenly appeared out of nowhere.
— In that instant, Su Bin was completely conquered by this person.
Even now, just thinking about that moment, Su Bin felt so moved that he thought “to give myself entirely” still wouldn’t be enough to repay Allen.
So when Allen had made that proposal, Su Bin, already battered by the world’s harshness, didn’t have the mental capacity to refuse.
Even though he had realized in Beijing that Allen’s health was like a ticking time bomb, and he had thought about it back then, he had chosen to compromise out of sympathy for Allen and fear of being alone again. No matter how much he tried to apologize and make amends afterward, it seemed like nothing could make Allen happy. Even Su Bin himself didn’t fully understand what went wrong.
Although they eventually reconciled, Su Bin quickly forgot about the small details, but now, looking back, he finally understood what Allen really wanted. It was too late now.
Su Bin couldn’t clearly pinpoint the exact moment when he fell for Allen. Instead, he could only recall many, many small details.
The shock when he learned about Allen’s past at Roland Manor, the pain when Allen was scratched by Mua, the inexplicable jealousy after the banquet, Allen’s contributions during the creation of “Boss Su,” and their isolated holiday at Marises Manor… Countless days and nights, close physical contact, and repeated expressions of “I belong to you,” from shame and shyness to heartfelt sincerity.
His feelings for Allen had long since transcended simple “like.” It was a complex bond—initial gratitude, admiration, and rescue had unknowingly transformed into love, attachment, and even belief…
Now, every time Su Bin thought of Allen, his heart would fill with warmth; every time he saw Allen’s focused eyes, his heart would race; every time he discovered a slight ailment in Allen’s body, he would be anxious; and just a few days apart from him felt like several years.
Su Bin was very clear that, even without the vow that bound them, he couldn’t leave Allen anymore. The thought of “belonging” had embedded itself in his soul like a curse.
…
On a sleepless night, Su Bin sat on his bed with his knees pulled up, the coat draped over his shoulders offering no protection from the cold loneliness.
The distance between the two cities and the days apart hadn’t dulled Su Bin’s longing for Allen; in fact, it had only intensified. Now, whenever he closed his eyes, his mind was filled with Allen’s face—angry, happy, proud, content… Everything about him seemed to haunt Su Bin like a shadow.
After nightfall, lying in bed, Su Bin, who had grown used to Allen’s kisses and comfort, found himself in unbearable pain. His internal organs seemed to ache, and all he could do was call out Allen’s name, unconsciously, to alleviate the longing.
He missed Allen’s warmth, breath, and voice. It was like an addiction; every cell in his body craved Allen… The sensation was driving him mad.
Moreover, after suddenly waking up that night, Su Bin’s heartbeat had become irregular. He had an ominous feeling about something.
During these past few days, instead of thinking about what he should do, Su Bin found himself more worried about Allen. He worried that, because of his own “escape,” Allen would be left alone in M City. He feared Allen would be angry, upset, and lose his appetite, affecting his health. He worried that something might happen to him while Su Bin wasn’t around.
As for the “crazy thought” he once couldn’t accept, Su Bin’s fear had lessened over time. Now, whenever he thought about what he would do if Allen really got hurt or died, his heart felt as if it were shattering.
So forget about prayers and thoughts; without Allen, Su Bin knew he wouldn’t be able to live.
He smiled bitterly. Allen was right—there was only one outcome for them.
Su Bin reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a velvet box. He had kept the ring there all this time, and even when he had to flee hastily, he had never thought about selling it for money.
The faint “click” sounded loud in the silent room as a platinum-colored ring with blue and white diamonds appeared before his eyes.
Its gorgeous color and intricate craftsmanship made the ring look incredibly noble and perfect—just like Allen.
The first time he saw it, Su Bin thought it should be worn by Allen.
However, the reason he had wanted to give the ring was long gone…
Su Bin gently ran his fingers over the delicate band, his eyes filled with deep sadness. This ring, a brand-name piece that could be bought with money, might be something Allen would find tacky. Allen’s tastes were so unique, and his favorite colors were so simple.
But Su Bin was just this kind of ordinary person, one who liked things that glittered and sparkled.
To Su Bin, Allen deserved all the beauty in the world.
“You said you wouldn’t leave me, I believe you…”
“You said you would live on, I believe you…”
“You said that if the worst came, you would hold me, just like sleeping, without pain… You have to keep your word.”
“You monster…”
“You big demon…”
“I love you.” Su Bin whispered softly in the empty room.
It should have been a sweet phrase, but it sounded as if it carried a hint of tears.
Accepting his fate, Su Bin quickly realized how serious the issue of “life being short” really was.
Just like how even the most health-conscious person can never fully empathize with someone suffering from illness, Su Bin, now fully aware that his fate was inextricably linked with Allen’s, felt that he couldn’t bear to stay in this unfamiliar place for another moment.
The next morning, just as the sky was starting to brighten, Su Bin rubbed his sore, swollen eyes and wobbled to his feet, leaving the place he had hidden away in for the past ten days.
He left a note for Li Meihan in the room, hurriedly heading for the train station.
Throughout the journey, Su Bin’s heart raced with impatience. He couldn’t wait to return to M City to see Allen. At this point, he wasn’t even worried about whether Allen would be angry or sulking—he just needed to see him. As long as they were together, that would be enough.
When he got home, he was surprised to find Qi Xin and Yang Chengzhe there. Their expressions were strange and difficult to read when they saw Su Bin.
Qi Xin mocked him without a smile: “Boss Su, you’ve finally come back.”
Yang Chengzhe looked at Su Bin seriously for a while before softly scolding him: “How old are you, still acting like a child running away from home…”
“Cheng Ge…” Su Bin weakly called out, then asked, “Is Allen at home?”
“Come in and talk.” Yang Chengzhe turned to the kitchen to make tea, and then, after motioning for Su Bin to sit down in the living room, he continued.
Seeing the serious expression on Yang Chengzhe’s face, Su Bin’s bad premonition grew stronger. That feeling was confirmed when Yang Chengzhe spoke again.
“I need to tell you something, but you should be prepared—don’t get too agitated when you hear it.” Yang Chengzhe pushed a cup of tea towards him and paused before continuing, “Last week, your experimental store was attacked by a mob. That day, Allen happened to be at the restaurant.”
Su Bin’s heart immediately lurched. “… What?”
Yang Chengzhe’s face grew grim. “Many people were injured, including several of your employees…”
Su Bin grabbed Yang Chengzhe’s hand suddenly, his voice trembling as he interrupted: “How is Allen?!”
Yang Chengzhe glanced at Su Bin’s terrified expression, sighed, and explained calmly: “Allen was stabbed in the left shoulder, the wound pierced his lung, and the impact caused internal bleeding… He’s in critical condition now.”
Su Bin’s vision went black. He nearly fainted from the shock…
Yang Chengzhe pulled his hand away and gently wrapped an arm around Su Bin’s shoulder, patting him as Su Bin stared blankly ahead, his eyes bloodshot, his mind overwhelmed by the words—”critical condition.”
After a few moments of shock, Su Bin suddenly jumped up from the sofa, his voice shaking: “I have to go to the hospital to see him…”
Yang Chengzhe stopped him, shaking his head. “Because of Allen’s unique constitution, in order to prevent infection and complications, he’s currently in an isolated intensive care unit, and no visitors are allowed. We’ve already been several times.”
Su Bin bit his lip, looking as though he were about to cry. “I knew it… I had a feeling… It’s all my fault…” As he spoke, tears poured from his eyes.
Yang Chengzhe frowned. “It has nothing to do with you. If you had been there that day, you would have been injured too.”
Su Bin shook his head, his voice full of guilt. “It’s different. If I hadn’t run away, Allen wouldn’t have gone to the store alone. I would’ve made dinner for him… We would’ve been together…” The more he thought about it, the more self-reproachful he became. His body trembled uncontrollably, his voice breaking. “Cheng Ge, Allen has internal bleeding. He’s going to die…”
Yang Chengzhe spoke softly: “Su Bin, don’t be so pessimistic. Although Allen is still in critical condition, the best doctors from B Country are gathered at the Royal Hospital in M City. He should… be okay.”
But Su Bin could no longer listen to any comforting words. He covered his face, his shoulders shaking, taking all the blame onto himself… No wonder Allen hadn’t come to find him. No wonder everything had felt wrong these past few days…
Seeing Su Bin crying like an abandoned child, Qi Xin couldn’t help but feel a deep sadness as well.
